Spoken like a true junkie. Arys had long since made his peace with it. I had yet to do the same.
“I’m not ready to let it become part of me yet.” My voice had dropped to a whisper. Constantly fighting the many hungers I possessed was draining. I needed to escape, if only for a while.
“It already is. It’s too late for that.” Arys turned the matted lock of blond hair over in his hand, but his eyes were on me. “You’re stronger than you think you are. Nobody can help you – you can’t even help yourself – until you believe that.”
The urge to crawl into his lap and find comfort in his embrace was strong. I didn’t do it. I feared his rejection. Fatigue began to set in as the previous evening caught up with me. I longed for sleep, the only place where I might find a brief reprieve.
Arys’ touch was gentle when he pulled me close and pressed his lips to my temple. “Go home, Alexa. Get some rest. There’s nothing more to say right now.” When I gazed up at him, wide-eyed and fearful, he brushed a soft kiss across my lips. “I love you.”
Stepping out of the comforting darkness of Arys’ small bungalow into the bright morning sun was disorienting. It burned my eyes, and I reached for the sunglasses that should have been perched atop my head but found none. I must have left them in the car. Scatterbrained and exhausted, I avoided home and instead headed for Kylarai’s side of town.
I needed to be alone in the comfort of the forest. I needed to be wolf. Sometimes I went there and believed everything would be right with the world if I never left. This was one of those times.
Chapter Fourteen
Despite the craziness of the previous night, I woke up at sunset in the mood to kick some ass. I needed to burn off the pent-up frustration and aggression. The approach of the full moon was causing my wolf to stir restlessly. It was less than a week away, and I could feel it singing in my blood.
Avoiding Shaz was harder than I’d anticipated. I knew I had to come clean with him about Kale. I wasn’t ready yet. During a brief phone call I told him I was spending the night prowling for something ugly to kill. I needed to pay Jez a visit as well. I felt relief when he said he was going to run with Kylarai. He’d be safe with her in our small town instead of in the city where ass**les like Claire and Maxwell were waiting for the right opportunity to cause more chaos.
After spending the day in the forest, a hot shower felt like heaven. I tied my hair back in a ponytail and dressed for a hunt in leggings and a black top that said, “Suck it.” I was hoping to find a vampire or other big nasty up to no good. I was eager to try out the Dragon Claw, and a good kill was just the therapy I needed.
Veryl would have been an ideal target. I contemplated it many times during the short drive from Stony to Edmonton. It didn’t feel right though. Not tonight. I wasn’t in the right head space for him. Tonight I wanted a mindless kill, something I could just have fun with. Veryl was different. With him, it was personal.
The bloodlust lurked, rising up to claw at my insides before slipping back into the recesses of my mind. Eventually I’d have to accept that it would always be with me. Ignoring it had proven to be careless and stupid. Sating the bloodlust was going to have to wait, though. The need to kill something that could fight back was dominant.
Finding vampires had grown easier since blood bonding with Arys. If I concentrated, I could feel them like a blinking beacon in my mind. I couldn’t pinpoint the exact location of every vampire in the city, but I could get pretty close. The Wicked Kiss lit up like the Las Vegas Strip when I tuned into the energy that way. It was mentally blinding, crawling with vampires.
Did Claire know I could do that? Anyone who did would be smart enough to cloak their presence. I thought about Maxwell’s blast of power, hoping to feel it out there. Nothing. Their time was coming. Claire and Maxwell would make their next move, and Arys and I would be ready.
I parked in the seedy section of town. Typical, new vampires would come here for an easy kill. The place was littered with drug dealers, prostitutes and random homeless people. Easy pickings. When I considered what went on here, the activity at The Wicked Kiss didn’t seem quite so bad. At least there, the victims usually enjoyed it.
Striding down the street with the Dragon Claw clutched firmly in hand, I let all other thought blow away on the warm night air. Unfortunately, the dagger was far too big to safely secure it anywhere. The curved blade made it hard to fit to a sheath. I’d have to find a way to conceal it for future outings. A jacket could always help with that.