“I know.” He stroked a hand down my cheek, pausing to wipe a streak of blood away. “Alexa, you can’t bury yourself in guilt. There was nothing else you could do.”
I wasn’t alone in my personal agony. Kale felt it, too. I refused the tears that stung my eyes. “You don’t really believe that. Do you?”
“Yes, I do.”
His nearness was teasing my senses, inviting me to wrap that saccharine power of his around me. I pulled away, tearing my gaze from his. I’d swung from giddy drunk to moody sorrow in seconds. I was conflicted by how easily his presence had affected me. What was it about Kale that always broke down my defenses, exposing the raw emotion buried deep inside?
The silence was deafening. All I could focus on was Kale. I wanted to feast upon him as I had with my two victims, but my hunger for him wasn’t the same. Whatever it was we shared, it was always there, and I knew I’d never be free of it. Not as long as I tried to fight it. I was just so tired of fighting, but I knew that giving in had never proven to be the better alternative.
“I’m not sure I can do this, Kale. Claire and Maxwell have the drop on us, and they know it. If I don’t give them what they want, they’ll target somebody else. I don’t feel like I have a choice.”
“You can’t just hand yourself over to them.” With a shake of his dark head, Kale gave me a lingering look. “I wish we could turn back time and redo tonight. I really do. But, what happened does not give them power over you. Only you can give that. Don’t.”
“I wish it was that simple.” My guilt convinced me that the situation was hopeless. “I don’t know where to begin to deal with this. I just don’t want to see anyone else I love get hurt.”
Kale’s heady energy was strong and pulsing. It reached out to me, and I shuddered. He watched me with intrigue in his eyes.
“You can kill them, and you will. I don’t doubt it for a second. Neither should you.”
“But who else is going to die first?”
Kale had no answer for that. Despite how little his reassurance did to make me feel better, I loved him for trying.
“You should go home, Alexa. Get some sleep.” Kale forced a rueful smile. “You’re growing very hard to resist.”
I blushed, my body temperature rising. His energy was running hot. It called to me, bringing forth the laughter that had quelled when he arrived. “I’d apologize but I’m not sorry. I’m so tired of resisting.”
Kale’s expression grew dark, smoldering. I was suddenly painfully aware of just how close he was. Even in the dim light, I saw his pupils dilate. This wasn’t the time or place to play with fire. But, as I watched him react to me, felt it, I reacted too. I had left my self-control in the blood-soaked room down the hall.
“No, Alexa. Don’t do this. I told you, I can’t do this anymore.”
“Then don’t.” I raised a brow and smiled suggestively. “God, you feel good.”
I closed my eyes and breathed him in. He was like metaphysical candy. I gasped when he stepped up to close any remaining space between us. Sliding a hand into my hair, Kale brought his lips to mine, just barely touching.
“You’re damn lucky I’m not riding a hell of a high the way you are. I’d have you naked on that pool table already.” His lips moved on mine as he spoke, and I melted just a little.
“What’s stopping you?”
He kissed me then, a passion pouring forth from him that shook me internally. Kale’s soft tongue swept the inside of my mouth. Unlike our last kiss, this was slow and sensual, knocking the breath from me. Disappointment flooded me when he pulled back.
“The only thing stopping me from taking you right here is the fact that your decision is power-driven. When you come to me on your own with nothing to encourage you but the way you truly feel, I promise you, I will love you in ways you can’t even dream of.”
Kale placed a gentle kiss on my forehead and turned to go. I didn’t try to stop him. The weight of his words penetrated the fog in my head. I was shaken and excited but sobering quickly as reality crept in.
He was right. The circumstances, the events of the evening, it was all wrong. If it was to ever happen, it could never be like this.
Chapter Eleven
The hum of voices coming from the television barely kept my attention. As hard as I tried to make myself follow the sitcom, I just couldn’t keep up. My thoughts were elsewhere.
I hadn’t moved from my spot on the couch for hours other than to refill my coffee mug. Wrapped in my fuzzy black robe, I stared at the moving images on the screen, but all I saw was Lena’s broken body. I’d cried myself out of tears hours ago.
A short phone conversation with Jez had provided some comfort. We shared our grief, but on some level, we were alone in our pain. Jez, Kale and I had all had our own relationship with Lena.