The vampire tried to fight me off, but it was too late. I had a strong hold on him, and I pulled hard on it. As I sucked him dry of his power, I delighted in the hot crimson fount that ran over my tongue. Blood and power poured into me, and I fell into a state of euphoria. Nothing felt like this.
Letting go and giving in to the bloodlust released me from the chains I’d inflicted upon myself. I drank down the scarlet nectar, delighting in the way it scratched the eternal itch inside me. The rush of blood and power, dancing together around and within me, was thrilling and more importantly, comforting.
It wasn’t borrowed hunger anymore. I needed this. As much as I tried to deny that, to escape it, in that moment it was painfully and irrefutably clear. I wanted to savor the magic of falling headlong into the abyss of dark bliss, to feel like this always, free of pain, spiritual and physical … free from the emotional agony of Lena’s blood on my hands. None of that existed as long as that warm human blood passed my lips.
The vampire fell to the floor, drained of everything he had to give. His body burst into dust before it hit the carpet. My victim’s heart had slowed, beating its last. I was breathless and exhilarated when I let her drop to the bed.
There was a lot of blood. Such a waste. My fangs had torn a gaping wound in her throat, causing blood to spray and splatter. I licked a smear off the back of my hand and surveyed the mess. I was detached, unable to feel anything about it other than mild acceptance. It was what it was. I stared around at the mess I’d made, and I was at peace.
Drunk on blood and power, I lost my balance and fell on my ass beside the bed. I giggled like a lunatic as I scrambled to my feet. I was on sensory overload, keenly aware of everything. The lights in the hall hummed with an irritating high-pitched squeal. Anxiety rolled off the other vampires in the building as they wondered if I’d come for them next. The scarce traffic far beyond the back exit sounded much too close and far too loud.
I was a disaster. I crashed into the wall on my way out of the room, catching myself before I went down again. Draining a human and a vampire simultaneously had overdosed me. Though I laughed to myself like it was the world’s best joke, I was going to have to come down sometime and face reality. But not yet.
I returned to the bar, stopping to stare at the dark, empty interior. It felt so much bigger without the throngs of people littering every square foot. The remnants of their energy still hung on the air, though it was faint now. Catching a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror behind the bar, my jaw dropped.
I was all fangs and bright blue eyes. Arys’ eyes. The spatters of blood that decorated my face and hair were deep scarlet in the dim lighting. I was drawn closer to my image, as horrified by what I saw as I was intrigued. I couldn’t keep seeing myself like this.
Nothing human remained behind my eyes. The wicked light that glinted in my unnatural orbs was pure predator. Both the wolf and the vampire were present together, something I didn’t like to see. It scared me, usually. Intoxicated laughter spilled from me, and I turned away from the mirror before it could become manic sobs. My emotions were all over the place, several hitting me at once.
With the damp bar towel I gave my face a halfhearted wipe. The scent of human blood clung to me. I felt Kale enter the building, and I jerked into action, frantically scrubbing at my face as if it would remove the evidence of what I’d done, but when I pictured him finding the mess I’d left in the back hall, I smiled.
I felt him, every step he took leading him closer to me. Stepping out from behind the bar, I waited for him. Temptation called as his honey sweet energy rolled over me. Kale was a hunger that had never been sated.
He appeared in the doorway, a strange look on his face. “Alexa?”
“That’d be me.” I stood there, adorned in the blood of my victim, and I met his gaze evenly. “What are you doing here, Kale?”
“I was going to crash here for the day. Looks like you’ve been busy. Are you ok?” The concern etched on his face was shadowed by the lust in his eyes. Finding my kill had turned him on, I could feel it.
“Lena’s dead. It’s my fault.” I felt detached from my words and even from myself. “I kill for demons and was naive enough not to know that. I handle the bloodlust like a junkie, and I like it. I am not ok.”
He quickly crossed the space between us. Placing a finger beneath my chin, he forced me to meet his eyes. Our auras touched, and I trembled. Kale searched my eyes for something, I wasn’t sure what. Sanity perhaps.
“What happened to Lena is not your fault. Don’t you dare try to take the blame for this one. Nobody could have stopped this from happening.” Pain filled his eyes, and I knew he was hurting, too. We’d both loved her.
I swallowed hard. “It’s because of me that they targeted her in the first place. Because Shaz and I killed Harley.”