Chapter Eleven
11
I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND MY REACTION to seeing Camden barreling toward me. It was like I had tunnel vision, and he was all I could see. Everything else around me fell away, and I needed him. I needed to hear his voice and be in his presence. Squirming out of Dodger’s arms, I heard a quiet ‘ooof’ before my feet hit the ground. Oops, I must’ve accidentally elbowed him. I rushed the last few steps to Camden, never taking my eyes off of him. Throwing myself into his arms he caught me and a rush of air blew out of me. I inhaled deeply as I buried my nose in his neck and felt his arms come around me, holding me tightly. He must have just come back from the gym. The musk of his sweat mixed with the laundry detergent we both used permeated off of him. I felt his chest rumbling against my chest, but I blocked everything out. Everything but him. I assumed he was talking to Dodger, but I tuned it all out. I simply went still, letting the warmth of this man seep into my pores, making me feel safe. Why did I need him like this? We had fought only a few hours ago, and I had slapped him across the face. He should be pushing me away and committing me to the loony bin for how I was behaving right now. Except he wasn’t. The look of anger that he held when we walked in the door wasn’t directed at me, it was at the situation. It was meant for Dodger, demanding that he explain what happened. When I rushed to him, his brown eyes softened. In the few short beats before I hit him like a freight train, his look toward me was forgiveness.
“Hold on, Blue,” he murmured in my ear.
I nodded into the crook of his neck and squeezed my arms around him. He picked me up the same way that Dodger did and moved us through the house. I had no idea if Macie and Dodger were still here, and I didn’t really care. All that mattered to me was that, with every breath I took in, it was Camden who was surrounding me. Although I knew that Macie was going to have a load of questions to fire at me later. Not just about the party incident, but also with my whole Scarlett O’Hare I just pulled with Camden.
I felt the subtle jostling as though we were moving up the steps, and I admired the ease in which Camden carried me, as though I didn’t weigh more than a feather. He pushed through a door and walked inside, kicking it shut behind him. Thinking we were in my room, I lifted my head in anticipation that he was going to set me on my bed. But when my eyes adjusted to the dim light filtering through the windows from the street lamp, I noticed we were in Camden’s room instead. I’d never been in his room before. I’d never felt comfortable enough to step foot in here. Even before I signed my lease, I’d only given this room the briefest of glances. I stood there taking in my surroundings after he set me down, wanting nothing more than to walk around and look at every single thing that he obviously felt important enough to display. Camden had stepped away from me to get something from his dresser. When he came back, he held out his hand. He was giving me one of his t-shirts.
“Camden,” I said, my voice scratchy from crying. “My room is across the hall, I can get one of my own shirts to sleep in.”
He shook his head. “Not tonight, Blue. I want you in my clothes and lying in my bed.”
Tentatively I took the shirt from him, swallowing hard. “Could you turn around please?”
The sweet smile he gave melted my heart. It wasn’t his usual smirk or arrogant grin he showed me on a daily basis. This one was kind and compliant. “I’ll actually step out for a minute.”
He walked out, shutting the door behind him. I made quick work of getting the uncomfortable outfit off my body. I threw it on the floor, wishing I could take it downstairs and burn it in the sink or something. I made a promise to myself that I’d never be caught dead wearing something so provocative again. All I did was make a fool of myself. I didn’t belong in clothes like that. I didn’t belong in that frat house like a typical college girl groupie. And I certainly never belonged with a guy like Luke. I chastised myself for thinking that we could have had something. I hated that I made myself believe that he might actually like me. I couldn’t get my mind to wrap around the words that were playing over and over in my head. It was all just a game, a stupid competition that they had every year. But Luke was so believable. None of it made sense to me. It couldn’t have all just been a game for him. He was so tender, and his words were sincere. Or were they? Had I really been that stupid? I sat down on the edge of the bed, my arms resting by my sides, and my hair curtaining my face. My eyes were heavy from crying, and the swirling thoughts were making me dizzy. Every minute that ticked by, I felt more confused and more questions arose. The slight clicking of the door opening and closing alerted me that Camden had reentered the room. I wanted to look up at him, to give him a self-assured smile that reassured him I was okay, but I couldn’t muster one. I just sat there with my head down, wallowing in my thoughts. Camden kneeled down in front of me, and I opened my eyes. His fingers gently lifted my chin, and I noticed the washcloth in his hands.
“Let’s get some of this makeup off,” he said as he gingerly swiped the warm towel across my eyes. I probably looked like a raccoon with all the black.
I chewed on my lip, trying to keep the tears at bay while I let him clean me off. This was a side of Camden I’d never seen before. I was shocked by his compassion. He was always so hard edged, never letting anyone receive this affection from him.
“Why are you being so sweet to me?” I whispered.
He paused and regarded me. His eyes burning into mine. After a few short beats he continued what he was doing. “A girl like you should never cry unless it’s tears of happiness.”
There was no stopping it. A single tear dripped out of my eye and cascaded down my cheek. Camden reached up and brushed it away. “What did I do to be treated this way?”
I knew he understood what I was referring to. “Some guys just don’t understand what they have. And then there’s some that never deserved to have what was standing right in front of them. Luke was never worth the ground you walked on.”
I sniffled and gave a slight smile. “Thank you.”
He tossed the rag into a hamper that was in the corner. “For what?”
“For not saying ‘I told you so.’”
He shook his head. Standing up he tipped his head at me. I scooted back and lay down. His bed was so cozy. The silkiness of his sheets and the soft down of his pillows, I could burrow in this spot and not move for days. He sat down next to me and brushed an errant hair away from my forehead.
“I told you so won’t fix the wrong that was done to you, Keegan.” His eyes were so soft I had to look away.
I nodded. The delicateness of Camden’s fingers grazed down my cheek and to my neck. I closed my eyes and let the feeling sink in. He was touching me as if I were breakable. When I opened them again, he was watching me with a deep regard.
“Tell me what happened.”
Sighing loudly I attempted to detach myself from the situation. I didn’t want to cry about it anymore. Starting from the beginning I told Camden everything. I told him about meeting the three guys, and how they made me feel. I told him about Veronica and how she cornered me outside the bathroom to divulge their little secret. When I’d finally gotten to the part where I stood on the deck and eavesdropped on the conversation about it all being one big competition, I could see every vein in Camden’s neck protruding. His nostrils were flaring, and I knew he was doing whatever he could to dial in the anger he seemed to be feeling. My lip started to quiver when I told him about me finding Dodger and begging him to take me home. Camden turned and situated himself on the bed and lifted the top half of my body to drape over his. He kissed the top of my hair and whispered, “I’ll f*cking kill him,” to himself.
“That was pretty much the whole story. I feel pathetic! I should have known better than to believe that I belonged in a place like that and acting like I fit in. That’s not who I am.”
Camden grunted underneath me, and I lifted my head to look at him. “Who are you?” he asked.
With regret I admitted, “I’m the girl who’s always picked last. I’m overweight and act older than my age. I’ve never attempted to fit in with the popular crowd. Growing up with my mother has forced me to live a life beyond my years. Her actions required me to take on the role of mother with Sarah, and I think it prevented me from doing the normal things that kids my age were doing.” I lifted my shoulders and dropped them. “There’s nothing extraordinary about me. But I do care about people, and I love helping them. It’s pretty much why I choose the nursing field.”
He brushed his long fingers through my wavy hair. “You couldn’t be more wrong if it hit you between your beautiful blue eyes. You are extraordinary.”
“How did you know?”
“That you’re extraordinary?”
I shook my head. “No, how did you know about Luke? You warned me about him, so how did you know?”
He stiffened. “Back when I was in school, that frat house was known for doing shit like that. I’d heard of stories of them bringing the most unattractive people they could find to those parties, and they would tease them for entertainment. It’s why I never went when I was invited.”
“But yet you let me go to one knowing full well that it might have been a set-up?” I sat up, my body was half turned toward him while I leaned on my arm.
“No, it wasn’t like that at all. You aren’t anything like what they used to bring in to those parties. You’re smart, funny, stubborn, and drop-dead gorgeous, Keegan. How would I have known that they changed the game?”
“How about the simple fact that they even played games like that? You should have told me. I wouldn’t have gone anywhere near that house had I known.”
He clenched his teeth, his jaw was set in stone. “If you want to blame me for how tonight played out, then fine, I’ll take the brunt of it. But don’t think for one second that I think you deserved what happened to you. I would have f*cking thrown you over my shoulder and hauled you out of there if I’d known you were a part of their game. Hell I would have tied you up and locked you in my closet and told everyone you were sick if I’d known beforehand. Like I said, I didn’t know that those a*sholes changed their tactics.” He leaned forward and slid his hand underneath my hair to my neck. “It’s going to stop.”
My pulse picked up at his touch, while confusion settled on my features. “What’s going to stop?”
His eyes became hard, and my tough exterior Camden was back. “I’m going to find every single one of the a*sholes that had the balls to do this to you, and they are going to wish they’d never joined a fraternity. They’ll be lucky if they are still walking when I’m done with them.”
My eyes widened. “Camden, you can’t go beating up everybody who hurts my feelings.”
“The f*ck I can’t. This shit has been going on for years. Maybe someone needs to put the fear of God in them… or rearrange their pretty little faces.” The smile that spread across his lips was scary. “They messed with the wrong girl.”
“I wish you wouldn’t. Fighting doesn’t solve anything.”
“That’s cute, Keegan. You sound like a f*cking school counselor.” He smirked. “Luke knows what’s coming for him. I bet he’s shaking in his prissy little boots, and I plan on delivering.”
“Seriously Camden. No. Just leave it alone. I want to forget this night ever happened. Okay? Let. It. Go.”
“Not gonna happen, Blue.”
I laid my head back down on him and shook my head in frustration. Yet another battle I didn’t feel like fighting with him. He chuckled at my resignation. I hated that he felt the need to fight for me. I wasn’t an advocate for using fists. He was right though, Luke better be shaking in his boots. Not only was Camden very capable of taking him on, I was pretty sure I was going to flip my shit if I saw him again. Sighing deep into Camden I buried myself into his side and inhaled his scent again. His need to stand up for me was sweet, but misguided. He’d eventually figure out that there wasn’t much to me but a plain girl who could offer a nice friendship. It pained my heart that I thought so little of myself, but it was what I felt was true. I wanted Camden. I wanted him more than my next breath, but at what expense? Sadness seeped back into me as my eyelids grew so heavy I could no longer keep them open. While I drifted off to sleep, I had the scary thought that I was becoming attached to this man. With all of the passionate fighting and sometimes gentler moments, he had become a source of comfort. The apartment didn’t just feel like home to me, Camden did.
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Opening my eyes, I saw that it was still dark outside. Looking at the clock on the bedside table, it was two in the morning. I closed my eyes and stretched my still muscles. The feel of the bed was foreign. Where was I? It dawned on me that I wasn’t in my room. Grabbing the sheet I pulled it up to my chin. The scent of Camden washing over me, I moaned in contentment. I was in his bed, and I’d fallen asleep on him. Except, I glanced around and he wasn’t in the room. Where did he go? Maybe he moved to sleep in my room to give me space. I wouldn’t blame him. First I flung myself at him and bawled my eyes out, then he felt obligated to take care of me. I was the quintessential needy girl. I bet this was why Luke chose me. The events that happened only a few hours ago plowed into me like a Mack truck. The game, their words, Veronica, Luke… it was real. He must have sensed my loneliness and zeroed in on me. It was like I was a standing target who was flashing a bright red sign screaming ‘pick me, I’ll be your next victim.’ Tears welled in my eyes, and the sorrow I felt came down around me like a heavy weight. Why me? What did I do in this life to deserve this? I was a decent daughter growing up, and I took care of my little sister like she was my own. I showed up at my job on time and did what was required of me. And academically I was an overachiever. It was like the world was playing a cruel joke on me. Was I so desperate for attention that I missed any warning signs from Luke? At any point did he do anything to indicate that it was all pretend? I wracked my brain to the point of pain. A deep ache was settling in just over my eyes and made me feel queasy. I gave myself to him in every way that I could. I felt so stupid.
So where did Camden fit in to all of this? I was definitely frustrated with him for not telling me about the frat’s history. If he’d known about it, he should have said something, not just warn me away from Luke. I’d thought his only reason for doing that was because he was jealous. What a ridiculous thought. Camden couldn’t be jealous… could he? I knew we had something going on between us, but was it what I thought it was? Clearly my track record with figuring out men wasn’t very on point. But Camden had kissed me, he had pushed me to the brink of orgasm, and touched me like he wanted me just as bad. I couldn’t be that far off base.
Sliding out of bed, I picked up my clothes and padded to the door. It wasn’t closed all the way, and I noticed that the shower water was running. Why on earth was he showering at two in the morning? Well I take that back. He had just gotten back from the gym when I went running into him, so he probably didn’t have a chance to get cleaned up before he was picking me up off the floor. I walked out into the hallway and tossed the nurse costume that I hated so much through my open bedroom door. I made a mental note to throw that sucker away the first chance I had. Turning and looking at the bathroom door I took a few steps toward it, noticing that the door was cracked open. The shower that we shared wasn’t one that had a curtain hanging on a rod. This one had a glass door. Peeking in, the whole bathroom was fogged up. The glass that he stood behind was steamed over, but I was able to make out his figure on the other side. Swallowing hard, I felt like my heart was in my throat. What was I doing? Since when had I become a Peeping Tom? I knew I should go back into my room like I’d planned, but something was holding me here. I watched as his muscled arms came up and brushed several times through his hair, the white foam from the shampoo cascading down his body. I was riveted. Lust and desire were burning hot through my veins. I was drawn to him. An ache deep down was pushing me forward. Placing my hand on the door, I inched it open and took a step inside. My thoughts were going nuts, screaming at me to get the hell out of there, and pretend like I didn’t just walk in there like a little pervert. But I couldn’t. I needed something, and it was propelling me to keep moving. I watched in fascination as if every move of his body was the most incredible thing I’d seen. Seeing his hands move over his chest and down to his abdomen… lathering areas I wished I could run my tongue over. Just as the thought passed through my head, his eyes snapped up like he had sensed me. I braced myself, thinking he was going to yell at me or kick me out. Instead he tilted his head to the side. His large hand came up and wiped the glass so he could see me better. Connecting with his brown eyes, I was hit with the innermost need for him to touch me…to hold me. Whether he understood what I couldn’t say out loud or not, he opened the glass door, never breaking eye contact.
Then he stood in front of me, completely nude and looking like an Adonis. You never really know just how sexy a man can look until you’ve gotten them completely wet and dripping with water. Nothing on earth like it! At least not in Camden’s case. My heart’s rhythm stuttered, trying to find its new beat. Oh God, what was I doing? I felt the pooling of tears in my eyes, and Camden took notice of my sudden change.
Holding out his hand to me he said, “Come here.” It came out deep and raspy.
I stepped forward and placed my hand in his. Giving me a light tug, he moved me till I was standing in the shower facing him. The air was thick and humid making it hard to take a full breath. Or maybe I was just choking on my own words. He was blocking most of the water from spraying me, but little droplets were landing on my skin. I was only wearing his t-shirt and a pair of underwear, but the vapor in the air kept me warm. Or maybe being in his presence was overheating me. I had yet to let my eyes roam over the rest of his body that was on display. I’d already come barging in here, like some deviant teenage girl trying to see the goods. I didn’t think I should take advantage of the situation. As I stood in front of him I couldn’t gather the courage to look up at him. I didn’t know what this was, what I was feeling, how I should be feeling. Embarrassment was overshadowing all other emotions that had previously been coursing through me. Sucking in as much air as I could I was about to tell him ‘sorry’ and leave when he put his fingers under my chin and forced my eyes up to meet his.
“What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours?”
His words pierced my heart. My lip quivered. “Anything…everything.”
“Want to talk about it?” There he goes again with his sweet caring words. I didn’t know how to deal with this side of Camden. When he fought with me, warred with me, irritated me, I could handle him. I simply fought back. This was foreign.
All at once my emotions bubbled to the surface and came crashing out. Tears were pouring out of my eyes as my shoulders shook with heavy sobs. I covered my face with my hands and tried to turn away from him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I hiccupped.
“Hey, hey, what’s this?” he asked, his arms coming around me, holding me to his chest.
Confusion and hurt wracked my body like a tidal wave. It came slamming into me when I wasn’t prepared. Nothing felt right, and yet in his arms everything felt right. It was like my jumbled up mind was a contradiction in terms. How did I explain to him that I was sickened by what was done to me tonight? How did I express that I felt so degraded and used that I didn’t want to step foot outside of the house again? I was so ashamed for falling into that trap. That I slept with a guy who did nothing but use me. How did I tell him that I felt like maybe I deserved it? That maybe it was my penance. I shook even harder, and his arms squeezed me tighter. How did I tell Camden that I wanted him more than I’d ever wanted anything in my life? That when he fought with me, he didn’t just make me angry, he made me delirious with need. Even now, I craved to feel his skin on my skin. To know what it was like to have the slickness of the water glide my aching nipples across his chest. I wanted to feel his fingers brushing along my * and bring me to the brink of orgasm. My tormented body couldn’t decide what it wanted to do, so I cried some more.
I had no clue how long I stood there in his arms and wept, but as my tears slowed I was able to take deeper breaths. I became acutely aware of Camden’s hold on me. I was pressed tightly to his warmth, and I couldn’t help but noticed the very obvious erection that was digging into my stomach. I wiggled a bit to readjust my footing. He hissed at the sensation. My eyes shot up to his, and he knew that I knew. I watched as his look changed from gentle and caring to dark and toxic in a matter of seconds. The brown of his eyes were completely swallowed by his black pupils. His Adam’s apple bobbed. Ghosting his hands down my arms, his fingertips drifted across the hem of his shirt, brushing the tops of my thighs. I sucked in a breath. His eyes narrowed at me, and I knew in that moment that I wouldn’t be able to stop this. I didn’t want to. He lifted the shirt a few inches, gauging my reaction. He waited for me to tell him that this was okay, that this was what I wanted. I gave a slight nod, giving him permission to continue. As he raised up the fabric, I had a fleeting thought that I wasn’t wearing a bra. Camden was about to see a whole lot of me. I should have been worried about whether I had on my pretty lace panties, but I was more concerned with my body. I remembered the last few girls he’d brought home and how they looked. I still wasn’t at my goal weight, and I hated that I was scared that he might think I was too big or unattractive. He sensed my apprehension when he got the shirt as high as my belly button. Leaning forward he placed his forehead on mine.
“Clear your head Keegan. You’re going to be perfect.”
“I don’t look like the other girls, Camden.”
“I know. That’s what makes you perfect.”
And just like that, he melted me. I raised my arms up over my head. Like moving in slow motion, the fabric came up over my stomach, breasts, head, and then my arms. Each one tingling as the damp air hit them. When he dropped the shirt on the floor I let my arms come back down to my sides. I watched as his russet eyes traveled from my face to my breasts. Every single one of my nerve endings were alight with fire. My nipples pebbled under his watchful gaze. I had the urge to reach up and cover myself, but I refrained.
“Take off your underwear.” He spoke so deeply it was like a low rumble in his chest.
My face reddened, and I was feeling shy. “You…you wa-want everything off?” I stuttered.
“I want to see all of you. I want nothing in my way when I touch you. Underwear Keegan, now,” he demanded.
My hands trembled with a nervousness I’d never known before, but I complied. Hooking my fingers in my black silk panties, I slid them down my thighs and let them pool at my feet. I lifted one foot at a time and stepped out of them. I was completely bared to Camden, and he was to me. He reached up and touched my no longer covered hip with the subtlest of brushes. While he looked over my very naked body, I finally gave myself permission to see all that was Camden. My mouth parted at the view. He was quite a bit more endowed than I originally assumed. It was multiple inches of velvety skin with a smooth crown that stood at attention. I’d felt his cock against me before, but I couldn’t tell just how big he really was.
“Enjoying the view, Blue?”
Ack! He caught me staring. “No! I was just noticing this little freckle on your side.”
“So you don’t like what you see?” he teased.
“Yes! No! Wait…what was the question?”
Camden chuckled. “It’s okay to look,” he said, trying to lighten the tense atmosphere.
“In that case, I looked but didn’t see anything special.” I shrugged with indifference.
He gave a full bellied laugh. “You know, this just wouldn’t be right if that little attitude of yours didn’t come out to play.”
“What attitude? I showed you mine, you showed me yours, I said I wasn’t impressed. Now I’m ready for bed.” I knew full well I was poking a sleeping bear, but Camden was my bear, and I was ready for the chase.
His strong hand shot out and wrapped around my bicep. Yanking my back to him, my body was flush with his. His cock pushed against the crack of my ass, and my skin was engulfed in goosebumps. Growling in my ear he said, “We’ll talk later about how impressed you were when I make you scream my name. But in the meantime let’s get one thing straight. There’s no going back.” The hand that wasn’t holding my arm came around to splay across my stomach. “When I touch you, you will be begging for more. You’ll be panting for me to take you every way that is humanly possible.” Hard calloused fingers moved down to cup my sex. I moaned loudly, wishing like hell that he would spread me open and touch me where I wanted it. Nipping at my ear he breathed, “And when I f*ck you, you’ll know no one else owns this p-ssy but me.” My whole body shook with desire. One deft finger slid between my folds and circled my * over and over until my knees threatened to give out. When the room around me started to fade away he suddenly stopped, and I whimpered at the loss. I felt his lips form a smile, he knew he had me. “This…all of this.” He pressed his cock between my cheeks, and he reached up to tweak my nipple. “This won’t happen unless you tell me one thing.”
I was breathing so hard, and my mind was so lost to him I didn’t know how I answered, “What?”
“That you’re mine.”
He pinched my nipple again, this time harder, and it sent a jolt of pleasure straight to my core. I ground my ass back against Camden. He groaned and brought his hand down on my cheek with a slap. It startled me but intensified my need.
Chuckling he said, “Naughty girl. Give me what I want first. You’re mine, Keegan. I won’t share you with anybody else. Say it.”
“Yes,” I said breathlessly.
“Yes what?”
God! Why was he teasing me? “Jesus Christ Camden…please! I need you.”
“Give me what I want.”
I turned my face toward him and glared. “Stubborn ass.”
“Keegan.” He said my name in warning.
I fought him because I knew he liked it, and he knew I liked it. It was what we did. We both knew I’d cave, but I enjoyed taunting him.
“Yes, I’m yours. Only yours.”
The brilliant smile he gave me made all of this worth it. “Good, now it’s time to have fun.” He said, shutting off the shower and leading me out of the bathroom and to his room.