CHAPTER 15: LIAM
“Are you serious?”
I had called her into my office to deliver the news of the phone call. Shannon had faxed over the contract, clear in her assumption that we would accept.
“Yes, you wowed them, just as you wowed me,” I replied, but there was no warmth in my voice as I said it. She narrowed her eyes, watching as I got a pen and put the contract in front of her.
“What about next year? I thought that it was pretty much decided I would get an extra year.”
“Well, now you won’t,” I snapped, trying to hide the nagging feeling in my chest. Raw talent was just half the game. Everyone knew that.
“But still, this is huge,” Even if we weren’t really on speaking terms, her happiness was flowing out of her like a river. And I felt bad not offering her more advice. She wanted help, and that’s what I was supposed to be there for.
“So you accept?” I asked, and she looked up, detecting the tone in my voice.
“Of course I accept. Why wouldn’t I?”
“No reason,” I said, with a shrug. “Only that it’s a small role. And I know Shannon. She’s not particularly fond of people rising through the ranks. And, if you take this, you’re gone. There’s no coming back here if you find Hollywood too nasty for you.”
“But it can be done. Aaron Douglas was an extra for years before he was a lead. And so was Ricky Gervais,” she replied, listing off names on her fingers. “I can do it. And I can do it on my own, Liam. They would have called me in for an audition without your influence. They told me so themselves.”
“And you believe everything the audition panel tells you? That alone screams that you have no idea what the industry is like, Amy. If they don’t like you - you make one wrong move - they’ll drop you and blacklist you faster than you can cry for help. And sometimes, you don’t even know you’ve made the wrong move. For God’s sake, you didn’t even know that when the panel said ‘thank you’ they meant ‘goodbye’. In the mock auditions, you stood there like a deer in headlights until your instructor dismissed you.”
“That’s not true, I knew that!” she protested, glaring at me.
“Fine.” I looked over at my wall, glancing at anything that would keep me from meeting her eyes. “Then sign it. Once the announcement is official, and they don’t back out, we’ll credit you for graduation here.”
“Do you think…” Suddenly I heard the doubt in her voice. I looked up and saw all traces of anger were gone, as she looked over the contract and then back at me. “Do you think it’s a bad idea?”
I sighed, looking back at her. “You can do whatever you want, Amy. You’ve been doing that all along.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Her eyes flared angrily again, and I cocked an eyebrow at her. I almost smiled as I realized how alike we were; this constant back and forth of extreme emotions tumbling out faster than we could get a hold of them.
“Do you want me to make my own list? You left your father when he wanted the best for you at home. You chose to pursue a career that one out of every million make it at when you had a hundred other options. You’re now choosing a gig that is peanuts. And you…me…” I sputtered, unable to control my anger. “Just sign it and leave, Amy.”
Her eyes widened, and I saw fear in them, for the first time. I had never seen her look at me with true fear; not like this, not even on the night I revealed myself to her.
“I’ll read it myself and get it back to you later,” she said standing and taking the contract. “I trust I’m allowed to do that, without you holding my hand?”
“Go,” I flicked my wrist at her, indicating the closed door. Without another word, she picked up her bag and left, making sure to slam the door on her way out. I buried my head in my hands, sighing. Two women slamming doors in my face within the space of two hours had to be some sort of record.
Why in the world was this proving to be so difficult? A year ago – hell, even six months ago - I wouldn’t have thought twice about selfishly sacrificing anyone if it meant I could be freed from this hell I was living in. But whether I liked it or not, Amy had changed something in me. If the school got the boost it needed, I could settle back into easy retirement, live off the money it made and never have to deal with humans again. I would secure everyone’s future.
But I also knew Amy would go far if connected with the right people, and Shannon was the opposite of the right person. Shannon’s performers became trapped with her, often taking the easy way out and staying in her shows forever; always hovering as a working actor; right below fame. Amy was right, though, if anyone could break free of that trap, it was her.
Still, working for Shannon was better than being stuck in school, and I knew that was a fact. Amy had to face challenges all her life and I knew she would be strong in the face of this one. After all, I had gotten out of Shannon’s ‘curse’, I didn’t believe I was anywhere near as talented as Amy was.
I sighed again, rubbing my hands with my face. There was, of course, the real reason I had let my anxiety about the situation slip.
I didn’t want her to go. I tried to convince myself I did, a thousand times, but I didn’t. I didn’t want her to fly away forever, and never come back to me. Despite what had happened, the way she had made me feel when we were together was something I would likely never forget. She had changed something in me. She’d made my soul come alive again.
I wasn’t going to hold her back. I wasn’t going to let my fears slip through again. She knew what she was doing and I couldn’t deny that I knew she had the talent to go far. So if this was to be the end, so be it. I had to let her go.