Chapter Fifteen
Reed leaned against the wall in the lobby and watched Julie command the troops. Even at the early hour, she’d managed to rally several members of the resort staff to their cause. Arranging room service, finding a pair of crutches in the stockroom, borrowing medical supplies from the infirmary for Tyler to utilize in treating Christine. The bridal party, bleary-eyed and haphazardly dressed, stood in a semicircle around her, waiting for their marching orders.
Tyler had long since disappeared with Christine, silently carrying her down the hallway toward her room. Kady and Colton, propped up against each other, looked exhausted.
Everyone, everything, functioned normally around him, while inside, he felt ripped to shreds. Having steeled himself at a young age against feeling too many emotions, it blew his mind that no one could see his misery. It felt as though it should be painted in bright red across his chest. Once again, he’d had Julie in his arms, holding his pitiful, broken body against hers. For a brief second in time, he’d felt healed. Redeemed. Then he’d said something unforgivable. As if some subconscious, terrified part of him wanted to drive her away, when consciously, all he wanted was to crush her to him. Absorb her scent. Her light. Never let her go.
Brock, wearing beat-up jeans and a Braves hat, threw himself into a nearby leather recliner, tossing an amused glance at Reed. “You can’t stare her into liking your ass.”
“Shut it.”
“All right.” He yanked his cap down lower. “Too tired to argue, anyhow.”
Julie’s chipper voice reached him. “We’re going to need flats for all the bridesmaids. We can’t have Christine being the odd one out. Preferably silver to match the dresses. Who wants to take that on?” She glanced around curiously. “Where’s Regan? I need my shopping expert.”
Reed had never seen Brock move so fast. He leaped out of the chair, waving a hand at Julie. “I’ll find her. Silver shoes. Got it. Anything else?”
“N-no. Thank you, Brock.” She patted him on the shoulder and gave him a smile that had Reed grinding his molars. I never make her smile. Only cry or get angry. Or both. “Bless your heart. I’m sure Regan can figure out sizes.”
Reed shook his head as Brock asked for Regan’s room number, then all but sprinted from the lobby. Apparently they’d all drunk the Kool-Aid. He switched his attention back to Julie. She and Kady were debating the idea of canceling dance rehearsal that afternoon.
Kady blew out a breath. “Knowing Christine, she’s embarrassed enough as it is. Canceling will only make it worse.”
Julie pursed her lips and nodded. “You’re right. We’ll just get her a big comfy chair to sit in and watch. It’ll keep her involved. We can all take turns sitting with her.” She returned her attention to the group. “Okay, I’m going to go check on the patient. You can all go back to sleep now. Does anyone need anything?”
Half the group groaned in relief and turned to leave; the other half began lobbing requests at Julie, which she dutifully wrote down on a notepad. Reed couldn’t watch it another second. She looked dead on her feet, today marked the anniversary of her sister’s death, and unless she’d sneaked in a meal during the hour they’d been apart the evening prior, she hadn’t had anything to eat in damn near twenty-four hours.
The haunted look he’d put in her eye with his insensitive comments still hadn’t dimmed and it made him want to rage at everyone to leave her the hell alone. To do so, he suspected, would only push her further away. If such a thing were at all possible. He’d done a bang-up job of driving her squarely out of his reach, and his interference would not be welcome.
Jaw grinding, he propelled himself off the wall and strode out the back door of the lobby, uncertain of where he was headed and not giving a shit if he ended up in China.
“Whoa. Wait up, buddy.” Reed turned to find Colton jogging after him, hands shoved in his pockets to ward off the morning cold. “Where you headed?”
“Shouldn’t you be in bed with your bride?”
“Yeah. I figure there’ll be plenty of time for that once I get the ring on her finger, though.” He matched Reed’s pace on the path snaking through the resort village, but didn’t say anything as they walked. Reed knew his friend well enough to recognize his game. The advantages of knowing someone since childhood meant understanding how their mind worked.
Colton probably figured if he stayed silent long enough, Reed would cave and explain why he’d stormed off. In his current mood, he didn’t feel like giving even Colton the satisfaction of reading him so well, but as always, he remembered the role Colton played in getting him through those early years. Hell, half the reason he was alive was walking beside him. He’d vowed never to forget that.
For the first time since he could remember, Reed attempted to put his feelings into words, ignoring the way Colton’s steps faltered on the path when he started talking.
“So is this how it always is? You need to…suffer in order to gain something?” He cleared his throat uncomfortably. “My father kicks me out and I’m sleeping on a boat. But in the end, it’s how I meet you and Brock.” Brow furrowed, Colton stayed silent beside him. Bastard. “Then it takes me nearly dying from a stab wound to turn it all around. Join the academy. And now this”—he blew out a harsh breath—“this girl, she’s making me suffer, too. Even when I have her, I’m suffering over the idea of not having her. I’d take the stab wound again to stop it.”
“Don’t tempt fate.”
“Oh, he speaks.”
“I was getting there.” Colton turned away, but Reed caught his smile and made a sound of disgust in response. “So if I’m hearing you correctly, this girl makes you want to get yourself stabbed.”
“This is why I don’t talk much.”
Colton laughed. “All right, I’ll be serious. Keep going.”
“You were expecting more?” Reed sighed. “You two idiots? I had no problem figuring out. The academy was physical work. That, I understood, no problem. With Julie…” He shook his head. “On the surface, I know anything between us is impossible. But I think it might be twice as impossible for me to stay away. To…let her walk.”
“First of all…the girl is Julie?”
Reed nodded once.
“Maid of honor. Nice.” He offered his hand out for a fist bump, which Reed ignored. “Why is it impossible?”
Reed snorted, but Colton merely raised an eyebrow. “Remember that summer Brock’s mother played the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack nonstop? Just on a constant loop. Morning until night. Then she made us sit with her and watch the old black-and-white movie version?”
“Pure, unadulterated torture.”
“Right. Well Julie is Christine and I’m the Phantom. Minus the mask.”
“And the singing ability.”
“Fine. You get what I’m saying.”
“I get it, sure.” Colton shrugged. “I just don’t agree.”
Reed grunted. “People would wonder what the hell she’s doing with me.”
“Since when do you give a damn what people think? And by the way, everyone wants Christine to end up with the Phantom. They’re soul mates, man.”
“I’m beginning to regret this metaphor.”
The two friends walked in silence for a moment. “Have to say, I never expected to find myself on a romantic morning walk with Reed Lawson. Discussing musical theater of all things.”
“Well, congratulations. You can cross it off your bucket list.” He shot Colton a look. “And quit smiling.”
Colton barked a laugh. “Final word of advice before I leave you to commune with nature.” He pulled Reed to a stop. “Don’t leave anything unsaid. Women might say they like mysterious men, but that’s only in the beginning. Soon enough, they start hating the mystery. They want what you’re thinking translated into three different languages.” He took a deep breath. “Tell her what you’re thinking. Doesn’t matter if you think it sounds stupid. Just get it out there. Hell, sometimes it’s even the right thing. And when that happens…” Colton slapped him on the shoulder. “It’s like Christmas morning and Super Bowl Sunday wrapped up in one.”
Reed hid his amusement. “Who could pass that up?”
“Exactly.” Colton glanced over his shoulder. “I better head back. Kady is probably looking for me.”
“Don’t keep her waiting, then.”
“Oh, I won’t.” Colton started back in the direction they came. After a few steps, he stopped. “Hey Reed.” He appeared to be searching for the right words. “When you think she deserves someone better? When you can’t imagine being the one who actually gets to keep her? That’s how you know you’re the one who deserves her. Not some a*shole in a puffy shirt carrying a sword.”
“This conversation never took place.”
Colton jogged backward down the path singing “Think of Me,” Brock’s mother’s favorite song from the Phantom soundtrack. Reed flipped him the bird, but as soon as Colton disappeared from view, he couldn’t help but laugh under his breath.
…
Julie raised a hand to knock on Christine’s door just as it opened and a resigned-looking Tyler exited. She started to ask him if everything was all right, then thought better of it. Obviously, something had gone wrong between the two. Best not to pry. Or get involved and make it worse.
“Tyler, is there anything I can do for you? You look downright exhausted and no wonder. Carrying Christine like a bona fide hero through the woods. I’d imagine you’re about ready to drop.”
He gave a halfhearted attempt at a smile, but there was an unholy suffering in his eyes. “I’m fine, really.”
She patted him on the arm. “I’ll make sure she’s all right. Go take care of yourself.”
“Will you call me if she needs me? Or pretends she doesn’t, but really does?”
“Absolutely.”
Tyler hesitated, but turned and left. Julie watched him walk off, obviously under the weight of a heavy heart. She understood how he felt. Since her and Reed’s argument in the woods, she’d been burdened by a yawning, empty feeling in her stomach. Watching him disappear from the lobby had only made it worse. While she felt certain her actions were for the best, it didn’t stop the dull, insistent ache from spreading the longer she went without seeing him. If anything, the churning feeling should strengthen her resolve. If she felt this terrible after only a few days with Reed, allowing their affair to last through the week would prove infinitely worse. The assurance did nothing to quash the urge to go find him. Apologize for her harsh parting words. Apologize for saying one thing and communicating another with her body. For everything.
Attempting to focus, Julie pushed the door open and slipped inside. Christine lay on the bed, ankle propped on a pillow, one arm flung over her eyes.
“I told you to leave,” she said tearfully.
Julie winced. “Hey, sweetie. It’s just me.”
“Oh.” Christine quickly swiped at her eyes. “Hey, Julie. Come on in.”
“If this is a bad time—“
“No!” Eyes toward the ceiling, she blew out a shaky breath. “Actually, I could really use the company. I feel like such a clumsy idiot. Anything you can do to take my mind off this would be much appreciated.”
She held up a white box and shook it. “Fudge squares?”
“Bingo.”
Julie sank down on the end of the bed and toed her shoes off. “Truth be told, even world-class athletes sprain their ankles, Christine. And they don’t look half as good doing it.”
“I was distracted,” she mumbled around a fudge square. “And stupid.”
“I can relate.”
“Reed as difficult as he looks?”
Her head whipped around. “Why do you assume—oh, forget it. Everyone knows, don’t they?”
Christine responded by popping another piece of fudge into her mouth.
Julie debated for a moment over whether or not to disclose the entire story to Christine. If you can’t tell your best friend you’ve fallen for an impossible man who spanks your lady parts, who can you tell?
She sent Christine a sly smile. “Remember that guy in college? Bobby Cox was his name. He brought me flowers and took me for a helicopter ride on our second date. Brought along wine and had the pilot play a Norah Jones CD to get me in a kissing mood. Remember?”
Christine sighed dreamily. “Political science major. Blond. Yeah, I remember.”
She dropped the smile. “Well, this is nothing like that.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Reed doesn’t do the woo. I’d hazard to guess that he doesn’t even know who Norah Jones is.”
Mouth full, Christine sadly shook her head.
“Uh-huh.” Julie picked at the comforter. “He doesn’t compliment. Or try to find things we have in common. He doesn’t ask. He takes.” She thought about the way he’d made sure she got something to eat after the party at Spago. The way he’d cleaned up so she wouldn’t have to. His refusal to let her search alone in the dark woods. “But when he does make an effort, even just the smallest thing”—like chanting my name until his voice goes hoarse, taking me to that hot spring—“it blows Bobby Cox and his Norah Jones CD out of the water.”
She glanced over to find Christine studying her. Wordlessly, her friend handed her the box of fudge, which she gratefully accepted.
“Can I ask you a question, Christine?”
“You know you can.”
Julie hesitated. “Am I different? Since Serena…?”
Christine tilted her head, eyes full of sympathy. “You’re the same person, Julie. The same person with different priorities.”
Absorbing that, she nodded. “Right.”
“What brought this on?” Christine’s eyes widened. “Oh God. Today…”
“Don’t worry about it,” Julie rushed to say. “And please, don’t remind any of the girls. This week is about Kady.” She patted Christine’s arm when she nodded reluctantly. “Anyway, the anniversary is only partially responsible. Reed said…he thinks I’m overcompensating for Serena’s absence. Trying to be her.”
Her friend paled. That’s when Julie knew there’d been some truth behind his words. Why had no one ever said anything? How could she not have seen it?
She shifted uncomfortably on the bed. “Guess he was right.”
“No. Not entirely.” Christine exhaled on a sigh. “But we all worry you take on too much.” She laid her hand over Julie’s. “I don’t know Reed. But is it possible he said it out of concern? You’ve been working yourself to the bone. It’s hard for the people who care about you to ignore.”
“He doesn’t…it’s not like that with us. It’s sex. Plain and simple.”
“Julie.” Christine pursed her lips. “Give me some credit. I’m an investigative journalist. When that man is around you, he looks like he doesn’t know whether to kiss you breathless or tie you to a chair so you will finally relax.” She laughed at Julie’s stunned expression. “Does he want to jump your bones? Yes. But for my money? He wants more than inappropriate activities involving a ladder.”
She gasped. “How did you know about that?”
“I didn’t. I suspected it when I interrupted you two. You just confirmed my hunch.”
“How come you haven’t won a Pulitzer yet?”
Christine smirked. “All in good time.”
Feeling slightly better, even though she still had a lot to think about, Julie flopped back on the bed. She didn’t believe Christine’s assessment of Reed, but she needed to stop thinking about him for now. Against her will, she’d let herself develop some seriously complicated feelings for a man who saw her faults way too easily. One who would leave her behind at the earliest opportunity. She spoke around the lump in her throat. “Your turn. What had Tyler walking out of here like a scolded toddler?
Christine stared off into space. “It’s a long, long story.”
“I’ve got time.”