All Summer Long (Fool's Gold #9)

“I’ll get over it.”


“I’m not so sure about that. You love her.”

Clay turned to his brother. “How do you know that?”

Shane shrugged. “I know you. And I’ve just been through the same thing myself. My mistake was thinking I couldn’t trust Annabelle to be the kind of woman I thought I needed. Turns out I was wrong. About her and about what was best for me. I think you’re making the same mistake.”

“No,” he said flatly. “You don’t understand. Your first marriage ended in divorce. The only reason I’m not with Diane is that she died. Otherwise, we’d still be together.”

“But she did die,” Shane reminded him. “Years ago. It’s time, bro. You can’t live in the past.”

“I don’t. That’s not what this is about. I don’t want to be with Charlie.”

“Why not?”

At that moment, Clay couldn’t think of a single reason.

“I thought you’d come around,” Shane told him. “I guess I was wrong. Her leaving was for the best.”

Clay stared at him. “Leaving? What are you talking about?”

“Charlie left yesterday. I thought you knew.”

Charlie gone? “Where?” She couldn’t leave. Fool’s Gold was her home. She belonged here.

His brother shrugged. “I don’t know. Annabelle didn’t say.” He drew his eyebrows together. “She’s sure as hell not going to tell you, so don’t bother asking.”

Clay took a step and stumbled. As he righted himself, he knew her leaving was his fault. He’d driven her away.

“I have to get back,” he said and started toward the house. He half expected Shane to follow, but his brother let him go.

Yet there was no peace in the long walk back. And when he walked into the kitchen, his mother was waiting.

“We have to talk,” May told him.

“Mom, no.”

“Fine. Then I’ll talk and you listen.” She moved close and put her hands on his shoulders. “I’m so proud of you, Clay. At what you’ve accomplished. Your modeling career and now the Haycations. You’re a success. You found Diane and married her. She was wonderful.”

He didn’t know where the conversation was going but he knew he wouldn’t like it.

His mother stared into his eyes. “Now you’re being a complete idiot and she wouldn’t be happy at all. Do you think avoiding caring about anyone else honors her memory? Is that what you learned from loving her? To never share your heart with anyone else? What a horrible lesson.”

He flinched. “It’s not like that.”

“Of course it is. You think I don’t know? I lived it, Clay. For twenty years I kept my heart under lock and key. When your father died, I wanted to die, too. But I had my three boys and you kept me going. Then I had that night with that man and I turned up pregnant. I was so ashamed. Humiliated. Evie was proof of my betrayal. That’s how I saw her. Living proof of my mistake. So I held back from her. I was a cruel mother and I hurt my daughter. For years I was distant. I knew what she wanted, what she needed, and I wasn’t there for her. My actions are my worst sin. I will regret what I did for the rest of my life. But that’s nothing. The person who has to pay for my mistakes is my own daughter.”

Clay ached for her. “Mom...” he began.

She shook her head. “Don’t try to make me feel better. There’s no point in it. Now my daughter hates me and she has every reason. I want to heal what’s between us and I’m not sure I deserve a second chance. All because I closed my heart to the possibilities.”

She picked up a folder from the table and handed it to him. “This came today from your photographer friend. He thought I might like a copy. When I saw it, I knew the truth.”

He opened the folder and saw a picture. It was the one taken at the photo shoot, of him and Charlie together. They were looking at each other.

She was so damn beautiful, he thought, taking in her blue eyes, the smile, her short hair all mussed because she’d been nervous and running her hands through it.

Then his gaze shifted to his face and he saw what his mother had seen. Love. It was so clear, it was practically in writing. Even then he’d loved her. Had wanted to be with her. Only he couldn’t because... Because...

“You’re afraid,” his mother said softly.

He put down the picture. “Terrified.”

“It’s safer to be alone. Easier. You can live a small, tidy life and never be hurt. There are no highs, but there aren’t any lows, either.”

Not a philosophy to make Diane  proud, he thought. Or himself. Not what he aspired to.

His mother put her hand on his chest. “What a waste of a perfectly good heart,” she said.

And he knew she was right.

“I don’t know where she is.”

May smiled. “I know someone who does.”

* * *