A Castle of Sand (A Shade of Vampire 3)

CHAPTER 39: BEN

“He doesn’t trust me,” I told Sofia as she laid a plate of stir-fried vegetables on top of the wooden table inside her quarters in The Catacombs.

“Of course he doesn’t.” Sofia shrugged nonchalantly. “Why on earth would Derek trust you? Nobody here trusts you, Ben. No one has any reason to trust you.”

“Not even you?” I asked, swallowing back my hurt, knowing how much truth rang in her words.

Loose strands of her auburn hair fell to her face as she sat across the table from me. “I want to trust you, but I have so many questions running through my mind. I just…am I really supposed to believe that you had a complete turnaround and are now willing to protect The Shade?”

“I have no desire to protect The Shade, Sofia,” I clarified. “I still want to have my vengeance on Claudia. I still want to see her die for what she did to me. The only reason I’m here is because I want to make sure you’re alright. I want to make sure that he’s treating you right. Lucas was the only way I could get to you. If I was going to betray The Shade, I already would’ve done that.”

“Well, now that you’re here and you’ve seen me, I guess you can see that I’m perfectly fine, that Derek has treated me well. Now what?”

I stared at her in wonderment. After Derek released me and allowed me to go to The Catacombs with Sofia—under close surveillance at all times—Sofia, Ashley and Rosa had updated me on what’d been happening at The Shade since Sofia’s arrival. I was saddened by the news of Paige’s murder, shocked by Ashley’s choice to get turned into a vampire and moved by the stories about the culling and how Derek stood up for Sofia at the town square. More than anything, however, I was stunned by what Sofia had been able to accomplish at The Shade.

“She’s practically the princess of The Shade now,” Ashley had said proudly, as she cast an affectionate gaze toward Sofia.

“She’s about to become the queen.” Rosa smiled as she fingered the ring on Sofia’s finger. Derek had given it to her shortly after he released me from the port.

The sight of the ring made my heart ache with a sense of loss as I wondered what could’ve been if I’d done things differently, if I had been the one who treated Sofia the way she deserved to be treated.

Every time I looked at Sofia, I couldn’t help but regret how things turned out between us. I felt the same way as I had supper with her.

“Stop looking at me that way, Ben,” she said as she took a sip from a spoonful of soup.

“What way?” I asked.

“I don’t know…you look at me a certain way, Ben. Like you’ve somehow lost me…”

I cleared my throat. “Am I that transparent?”

“I just know you, Ben. That’s all. You feel like if you don’t get something you want, you did something wrong. The fact that I’m with Derek right now has nothing to do with you. You couldn’t have done things differently and expected things not to turn out as they have now. Some things are just meant to be.”

“And you think you and Derek were always meant to be?”

She nodded. “Yes. He’s the love of my life.”

The words stung and she knew it, but I appreciated her honesty.

“You saw me when no one else did, Ben. You took care of me all throughout high school and you made the worst nine years of my life livable. I love you, Ben.”

“But not the way you love him.”

“Why do you keep on tormenting yourself?”

I needed to change the subject. I debated with myself then whether or not to tell Sofia that her father was running the hunters’ headquarters in the USA. I had no idea how she would react. I decided not to tell her just yet. Not now, there will be time later.

Sofia kept quiet as she finished her meal. When she was done, she laid her spoon over her plate and looked straight at me.

“I can’t explain how great it is to see you again, Ben, but your presence here terrifies me, because the man I love is fighting to keep this island protected. You’re a threat to him and that makes you a threat to me.”

I looked straight at her, surprised that I meant every word when I said, “If you’re on his side, Sofia, then so am I.”