A Castle of Sand (A Shade of Vampire 3)

CHAPTER 15: DEREK

I didn’t want her to see anybody—much less Ashley—being turned into one of us. It wasn’t the prettiest of sights, neither was it a memory that one could easily purge out of the mind. I was afraid that the sight would haunt Sofia forever. I was afraid that seeing Ashley turn would forever remove from Sofia’s mind the option of becoming a vampire.

That’s when I realized that I was still hoping that she would agree to be one of our kind. I hated myself for being so selfish.

How could I wish my curse upon the woman I love?

We were taking the walk from the Black Heights all the way to The Sanctuary, Corrine’s home at The Shade.

The Sanctuary, befitting its name, was located southwest of the island. The white marble structure, with its large round pillars and domed roof, was originally built to honor and house Cora, the witch who made the Shade possible—a dear friend of mine. After her death, the Sanctuary became home to every other witch that succeeded her. One of its chambers also served as my mausoleum during my four-century slumber. Surrounded by lush gardens, complete with a labyrinth, a gazebo and a fountain, it was one of the most lavishly designed structures at The Shade.

Still, I never did quite like going there. This time, in particular, I dreaded reaching the witch’s temple. As we walked along the rocky path and past the giant redwoods, I found myself grabbing Sofia’s hand.

“You really don’t have to see this, you know…” I repeated, a plea for her not to take part in the turning.

“Ashley’s my friend. She’d want me there.”

“Paige and Rosa are her friends too…you don’t see them tagging along.”

She squeezed my hand reassuringly. “I’ll be alright, Derek.”

My gaze focused on what lay ahead. I could already see the Sanctuary coming into view. The sight of the pure white marble fa?ade, seeming to glow under the light of the full moon, should’ve taken my breath away. It was quite a sight to see. Should I dare look at her, I could almost picture the spark of delight in Sofia’s eyes—one that never failed to grace her face whenever we went to the Sanctuary. Corrine, after all, was one of her treasured allies at The Shade. I was never really a fan of the Sanctuary, truth be told. The price paid for such a lavish structure lessened its value in my eyes. I knew what it took for it to get built, but that was only one of the reasons the sight of it made me sick to my stomach. That night, I feared that the sight she was about to witness would lessen my value in Sofia’s eyes.

I squeezed her hand tighter. She looked up at me, stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against my cheek. “I love you, Derek.”

Those words would’ve been healing balm—hearing them from her always did make all the difference, but not that night. I wondered if she could tell me the same thing after witnessing Ashley get turned.

I kept my silence as we reached the Sanctuary. Corrine, Ashley, Kyle and Sam were already there. Ashley was wearing a skin tight red dress that made her look absolutely stunning. I would’ve normally been amused at how Kyle and Sam both gulped at the sight of her, but all I could think about was Sofia. Upon seeing each other, Sofia and Ashley embraced.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Sofia whispered.

Ashley nodded. “Yes. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

The expression on Sofia’s lovely face made me ache inside. She looked like she was about to lose a friend. I didn’t know if I was being paranoid, but it was almost as if she was already grieving Ashley.

“Are we ready to begin?” Corrine asked.

Awkward and unsure glances were exchanged across the hall, before Ashley stepped forward and nodded. “I’m ready.”

I watched Kyle carefully. I knew for sure that he’d never turned a human before. I wondered what was going through his mind. At that point, however, there was no time to ask. I’d been spending all my free time preparing Sofia’s quarters at The Catacombs, I barely gave Ashley’s turning much thought.

Corrine nodded for us to follow her and we made our way to the chambers where I’d been kept asleep for four hundred years. The giant round pillars, the stone slab in the middle of the room—each feature triggered unwanted memories from the past.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Cora’s big brown eyes were moist. It was clear that she’d just hurriedly wiped tears away before I came in.

I couldn’t look into her eyes. I knew that she loved me. She’d told me many times before. More than that, she’d shown me in more ways than one that I meant more to her than she did to me. I could still remember how she broke into tears when I told her that I wanted to end it all. I wanted to escape The Shade and all the memories that came with it.

“You can’t leave me here,” she sobbed.

“I’m sorry” was all I managed to say. She was my best friend and, other than Vivienne, she was the most important woman in my life, but I couldn’t stay. Not for her, not for Vivienne. I couldn’t bear the guilt anymore—the price I had paid in order to make The Shade what it was, was simply far too high. I couldn’t live with myself, yet the thought of dying left me terrified.

“You have no idea how hard it is to have someone you love leave you this way.”

The strongest woman I’d ever known was sobbing right in front of me, a broken, beautiful being I had no idea how to console. She did everything to convince me not to push through with it. She tried to make me see reason, tried desperately to make me realize that there was still something worth living for, but I had made my decision.

Thus, we stood there that night, with me entrusting my entire life into her hands. Though she fought tooth and nail against my decision to escape to deep slumber, I knew that she would never do anything to harm me and that she would be true to her word that my sleep would last for eternity, without dreams or nightmares to contend with. Just peace.

I never expected her to go back on her promise, because even though no harm did come my way and though the sleep was as peaceful as any slumber could be, I found myself awake four centuries later, madly in love with a girl I feared I would someday lose—the same way Cora lost me.

Sofia clung to my arm and this motion snapped me out of my memories. My stomach twisted into a tight knot when I realized that Ashley was already lying on the stone slab. As she usually did, Corrine stood nearby—overseeing the ceremony, making sure that no harm would befall the human being turned. This used to be Cora’s role. I found myself missing my best friend, but knew that she was long gone. The thought added another weight to my already heavily burdened chest.

I could sense Sofia’s slender form tremble next to mine as Kyle approached Ashley.

“This is going to hurt a bit…” Kyle’s croaked.

“It’s ok.” Ashley gave me a half-amused, sideways glance. “I’ve been bitten before.”

It was obvious from the tone of her voice that she was trying to make light of the situation, but the tremble that came with her words made it clear how nervous she was.

Who could blame her? This decision of hers will change her life in more ways than she can imagine. I stared sadly at the annoying little twerp that was Ashley and truly felt sorry for her. Kyle gently brushed strands of her hair away from her neck. Light scars were still present on her skin—my bite marks.

I carefully studied Kyle as he lifted Ashley up into a sitting position. Every move he made was gentle and was meant to keep the young beauty at ease. I could almost see the horrifying memories of the day he was turned flash behind his eyes.

“I can’t believe she’s really doing this…” Sofia muttered in a low voice that wasn’t meant to be heard, but she was close enough for my sensitive ears to hear.

I caught a glimpse of how tightly Ashley was holding onto Kyle’s arms, her knuckles turning white as she did. Sam stood in the background, nervously shuffling on his feet, obviously uncomfortable with the situation. We all cared deeply for Ashley. To see her go through what we went through seemed a cruel thing to do—even if it was she who made the choice for herself.

Why am I even allowing this?

“Wait.” I stepped forward just before Kyle was about to position himself to bite her.

I heard a sigh of relief escape Sofia’s lips and my heart broke along with it. Still, I had to stop myself from being so selfish. It dawned on me at that moment that the only reason I was allowing Ashley to go through with this was because I was hoping Sofia would see for herself that being a vampire wasn’t all that bad. After all, if Ashley could do it, why couldn’t she?

You’re the most selfish man in the planet, Novak.

“I want to have a private word with Ashley.”

“Derek, I’ve told you hundreds of times…I want this.”

“I still own you, Ashley. Kyle doesn’t get to turn you until I say so. Come with me.”

A tense silence followed as Kyle helped Ashley off the slab and she gingerly made her way toward me—not bothering to hide her annoyance. I grabbed Ashley by the elbow and dragged her out of the hall. Sofia motioned to follow.

“Stay there, Sofia.”

Ashley was fighting against my grasp. “You don’t own me, Derek. This is my choice. You can’t keep me from doing this. You gave us this choice and I’ve already made my decision.”

“You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into, Ashley. No idea,” I emphasized, unable to hide my exasperation that we had to have this conversation while the others were still around.

“I don’t care. I want this.”

Stubborn teenager… “No,” I said through gritted teeth. “I don’t think you do.”

“Maybe you should listen to him, Ash…” Sam offered hesitantly.

I fought the urge to sigh with relief that someone else had seconded me.

“You all do this now?” Ashley frowned, unable to hide her irritation. “You guys had all of the past few days to dissuade me from this…”

“Think about what you’re about to do, Ashley…” I made a step toward her, towering over her, once again feeling my thirst for her blood after weeks of being able to keep it at bay. “Once you turn, your first instinct will be to kill. Do you really want to live craving every human you come across? Can you really deal with wanting to suck the blood right out of Paige and Rosa?” My gut clenched at the mention of the next name. “Can you bear the burden of wanting to kill Sofia?”

I could hear Sofia’s soft gasp as she realized what I was asking Ashley. Does Ashley really want to turn into a murderer by nature? I couldn’t bear to look at Sofia. I knew then that should Ashley ever try to harm Sofia, I wouldn’t hesitate to end Ashley’s life.

Based on her silence, I actually thought that I was getting through to Ashley, so I was surprised when she stepped away from me, head bowed and lips pursed.

She nodded her head slowly. “I know what I’m getting myself into.”

She then turned her back to me and walked right back to the stone slab. She motioned for Kyle to help her get back on it. Kyle swallowed hard before looking my way to check if I agreed with what he was about to do.

Despite every internal alarm inside me screaming against what was about to happen, I nodded. Ashley was right. I didn’t own her. This was her choice.

“Let’s do this.” Ashley nodded resolutely, coaxing Kyle to do what had to be done.

Kyle stepped forward and placed his hands gently over her waist. I finally forced myself to shift my gaze toward Sofia and found myself wishing that I hadn’t.

Her lips were quivering and her eyes were moist with tears. As she stared at Ashley, it was as if she was lost in a daze, her long fingers clenching into firm fists. I wondered then what was going through her mind, because from the look on her face, it almost seemed like she knew exactly what Ashley was about to go through.