When the Heart Lies

Chapter 4





Xavier pulled into his driveway at five minutes after seven, and as usual, he sat awhile before going in. Angela hovered in the doorway. He was a man who fulfilled his obligations, and she’d simply become another on the long list. Before he got through the door, she set about directing him.

“Where have you been? We need to be at the club in twenty-five minutes.”

He ignored her and proceeded up the large center staircase.

“Your clothes are laid out on your bed.”

“Would you like to dress me, too? Send Jonathan up to my room.” Before he closed the door behind him, Jonathan appeared.

“Sir, you need my assistance?”

“Good, you’re here.” Unconsciously, he took his clothes from the bed and began to dress for dinner.” Did you relay the message about the audio to Judge Waters?”

“Yes. This morning. All is in order.”

“It pays to have friends.” In the middle of tying his tie, he stopped and turned to Jonathan. “Do you think I’m doing the right thing by not telling Nick I know exactly where she is? That I’m watching her, or why for that matter?”

Jonathan tugged at his cuffs. “That’s not for me to say, sir.”

At the lack of affirmation, he sat and stared down at his shoes. His hands tunneled their way through his thick white hair until buried and supporting the weight of his head. The situation was delicate.

“You’re doing what you have to do. Your intentions are honorable.”

He looked at Jonathan. “Are they?” He sighed. “I’ll finish up here.” He did so and headed downstairs to join Angela who waited impatiently at the front door.

~ ~ ~

Three months ago, it’d been a straightforward case. Watch over Kinsley and her son. Assure their safety. But while watching Kinsley, Jackson had become drawn in. Now, after meeting her, even more so. Tonight, when he and Olivia talked, she told him the client had new requests. Nothing was ever as simple as it appeared. With the new requests came questions. Things didn’t add up. He headed down the hall toward Scar’s room and knocked lightly.

“Yeah, who’s there?”

“Me. Jackson. Let me in. We need to talk.” Scar opened the door. He brush passed her and went in. “I might need your help. I talked to Olivia; she says the client wants more information.”

Scar backed into the room and sat on the bed. “I thought you were just on surveillance?”

He took a half ass seat on the lowboy dresser. “Yeah, well, now the client wants audio and more personal contact. He wants to find out everything that’s going on with her. Quite a change.”

“Ah, so why would you need my help? Isn’t audio illegal?”

“The client will handle the audio. A warrant’s all I need. I want to hear what’s going on in the house. Things aren’t sitting right with me. I’m not sure what I’ll need from you. You could watch Olivia for me and find out who she’s meeting with. I agreed to do the job without knowing, but three months is longer than I expected, and she still refuses to tell me.”

He stood and turned from her, but didn’t get far before his eyes caught a glimpse of her apprehensive face in the dresser mirror. He could tell she didn’t want to get involved. What the hell was he asking for anyway? Losing his professional distance was becoming far too frequent. “I’d like to find out who I’m working for. Please, Rayne.”

“I’m not sure. All I’ve ever done is take pictures for you. Besides, don’t you think you’re overreacting a bit? Olivia’s never given you any reason to think she would lie to you. Maybe you need to step back and think about this.”

He nodded. “Yeah, you’re probably right.” Like hell he’d step back. His eyes roamed the room, avoiding Scar’s; he knew she had a knack for knowing when he wasn’t being completely truthful. “I’m meeting with Kinsley tonight. When we talk maybe I’ll gain more insight.” He sat on the bed next to her with his hands held between his open legs. For a short time, neither spoke. He felt connected to Kinsley in far too many ways. Now, not only was he watching over her, but he had to start spying. She’d never be able to trust him after this. Once the case was over, he’d be the last man she’d want to get involved with. He let out a breath, and his shaking head dropped in disappointment. “Things are getting complicated.”

“Be careful, Jackson. I know you like Kinsley, but don’t get too involved.”

“I’m trying not to. It’s late; I better go to her, or she’ll think I’m not coming.”

It was past ten. The night nurse had already passed out meds and done rounds. He headed to Kinsley’s room and sucked in a breath as he stood in front of the door, reminding himself this was work. He tapped and entered without waiting for an invitation.

Startled by his unauthorized entrance, she jumped up, looked at him, and grimaced as her eyes cut an invisible path to the door, and her hands landed on her hips. “You’re awfully bold.”

“We need to hurry. Hector, a friend of mine, is at the back entrance waiting for us.” He turned his back to her and threw a pair of scrubs over his shoulder toward her. “Put these on.”

“Why?”

He peered back over his shoulder. “Easier to go unnoticed.”

With a wave of her hand, she signaled for him to turn around. She hesitated at first, but then hurried out of her clothes and into the scrubs. Before heading out, she stuffed some pillows under her blankets. “I’m ready.”

After checking the hall, he gave her the all clear with a nod to the side, instructing her to follow. Cautiously, they proceeded through the corridors toward the back entrance. They approached Hector. He unlocked the door and let them through.

“I’ll cover for you both at midnight rounds. I’ll be outside these entrances on a smoke break from one-thirty to quarter of two. Be sure you’re here.” Hector looked to him for confirmation.

He grasped Hector’s shoulder from the side in gratitude and gave him a nod. Hector was taking a chance bending the rules for them. Guests, as the staff at Lakeside referred to patients, were not allowed on the grounds after ten o’clock at night.

“Where are we going?” she whispered.

“To the boathouse. We need to hurry past the open space up ahead. The area is visible to the south side of the facility. After we clear the lake, we can get on the path we took earlier.” He took her hand, and they hurried past the lake and headed to the boathouse. The moon cast a sliver of light across the lake to guide their way, with the sounds of night adding to the adventure.

Once safe inside, he turned on the small lamp.

“How can you just wander around this place?” she asked.

“Other than traveling for school and work, I’ve been here my entire life. I have a lot of connections.” He walked to the old fridge and pulled the long metal handle that made a popping sound as it released the opening mechanism. He squatted down and pulled out two bottles of wine. When he stood, he held the bottles in the air. “Merlot or Riesling?”

She widened her eyes and tilted her head playfully, lingering on his biceps, which were unintentionally flexed for viewing as he held the wine. “What if I don’t like wine?”

He smiled. “I’m not sure you do. I only know I’d like to have a glass with you. And since I’m sure you’d love to make me happy, Riesling it is.” While watching her with a reserved smile, he set the glasses on the table and opened the bottle. “This is your preference, am I right?”

“Riesling’s fine.” She looked around and began fiddling with some seashells that were lying on the shelf nearby.

He got the impression she was feeling uneasy about being there. He should give her a break and stop flirting, but the flirting was in lieu of actual sex, which if he had his way … well, his way didn’t matter. Ethics, if he could uphold them, would put a stop to what he wanted.

He tipped his head toward the chair. “Don’t be shy, take a seat.”

She started toward the sofa. He sidestepped, blocking her path, bringing his face closer to hers. Now he played. Her lips, just inches from his, parted slightly. She moistened them and hesitated before looking up. Isn’t she sweet, she thinks I’m going to kiss her. He didn’t, and she headed toward the sofa again. Once again, he stopped her.

He stared as he handed her the glass. “No. Over in the chair.”

“Why the chair,” she challenged.

“Because the light is by the chair, and that’s where I asked you to sit.” He cocked his head with a grin and went to sit on the couch.

Hands on her hips, she began to protest. “Ah—”

He smiled. “And, because I’d like to look at you.”

She blushed and took a seat.

Leaning back on the couch, he lifted his feet, heavy work boots and all, onto the coffee table. Again, he checked her out. Her eyes dodged his. He was betting her self-consciousness was more from the sexual tension between them than insecurity.

“So, do you like what you keep gawking at?” she said.

The picture in his mind of her lying asleep on the long branch of the moss-covered tree in Wayde’s yard where she would often sit and read crossed his mind. He pictured her there often. “I’ve liked gawking at you from the get-go.”

“Really? You showed more interest in your scrambled eggs this morning.”

“Not at all. I simply wanted to make sure you passed the—‘she’d be far too much trouble for me’ test.”

“Hum…” She sighed and peered from beneath her long lashes. “Test, huh? So you like to play games?”

So, she likes to flirt. He was game. “Honestly, a lot of things went through my head at the time. Talking didn’t top the list, and the only type of games I liked to play—are entertaining.”

Her mouth opened just enough to look damn sexy. “Did I pass? You know—the test—that wasn’t a test?” Her playfulness waned, and she stood. “I should go. This conversation is drifting from my objective.”

“What’s your objective?”

“I need to get back to my son. I should’ve never come.”

“Did you see him?”

“Yes.”

“Is he fine?”

“Yes, he’s fine.”

“Then sit and relax. I promise not to scare you again.”

“You don’t scare me.”

He tilted his head with a doubtful expression.

“You don’t.” Her tone was snappy, but she sat back down. “Why are you here?”

He replied honestly, wishing he didn’t have to keep his secret. “I can’t tell you why I’m here. It involves my job. I’ll talk to you about other things, but not why I’m here.”

“Understandable. Is Scar really your niece?”

“Yeah, I lived with my sister from eight to eighteen, but Scar’s more like a sister to me. We grew up here. So, now you know what brought me to Lakeside. What about you?”

She raised her brows. “C’mon, Scar’s like a sister to you and she didn’t tell you?”

“Okay. Got me. I didn’t want to out Scar for telling me. She didn’t say much. Just said you had a thing with your boyfriend and it didn’t end well.”

Her eyes rolled toward the ceiling. “He’s not my boyfriend; he’s never been my boyfriend. Wayde was a mistake. My husband Nick and I separated about six months ago. I made many mistakes. Especially after we split up. She looked away. “The situation’s complicated.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. I know all about breakups and the foolish things people do. Love makes people do crazy things, even more so when kids are involved.”

She looked back, studying him, appearing to weigh his words. “Sounds like you’ve had some experiences of your own.”

His eyes lowered and rose slowly. “Yes, I have.” The knowledge of the crazy things people do was one of the reasons he chose to be alone. Being alone hadn’t been bad until now. Recently, since watching Kinsley, he longed for more. The fact he’d never get it seemed inevitable. He didn’t like these new and uncertain feelings.

“I wasn’t in a good situation when I left New York. I needed a break. Regrettably, I’ve gotten myself into an even worse situation now. I’d asked Nick to leave for a little while. I needed to sort out my feelings, and I hoped he’d reflect on his, too. When I wanted him to come home, he hesitated. It hurt me, and with everything I was dealing with … well, here I am.”

“So, what made you leave New York? Florida’s a long way to go to reflect.”

“I’m not sure.”

“Don’t say you’re not sure. People know why they do things.”

She pulled in a big breath and held it. When it appeared she couldn’t contain the over the top lung capacity any longer, she pushed it out. “I thought leaving would bring things out in the open, so I wouldn’t be dealing with them alone. Wayde and I started talking online, and it seemed he was the only one listening. It was as if he knew me. He said all the right things.”

“You met online? Did he contact you or you him?” He realized after he spoke that his questioning sounded like an interrogation, and he made a mental note to slow down.

“Odd question, why do you ask?”

“Just wondering.”

“He contacted me on Facebook. He’d been friends with my brother, Drew, when they served together in Afghanistan. Wayde was his Sergeant. He wanted to connect with him, but found me instead. Unfortunately, I had to explain that Drew had never returned home. He simply disappeared when he returned to the States. My parents tried to locate him for years with no luck. Men in his brigade said he’d become distant and antisocial. The description didn’t fit. I loved talking to Wayde. He seemed to know Drew so well. Drew obviously liked him, although I can’t imagine why. Wayde shared stories of their time together. Drew most likely talked about me because Wayde had knowledge of things.” Her mood dulled, and she appeared sad.

“What kind of things?”

“Family stories. General stuff.”

“What changed after you started talking to him? Did you stop needing Nick?” Again, he reminded himself to be more casual. He generally didn’t get into heartfelt conversations with women, or men, for that matter.

“Of course not. He’s my husband. I’m leaving Wayde soon and going back to Nick, if he’ll take me. It’s what’s best for Max. The way things were, I felt like I had no choice but to leave.”

“No choice? Why’s that?”

She wavered. “Pride, I guess. Too proud. Once I told him I was leaving if he didn’t come back home and he didn’t try to stop me—I continued with my plans. I backed myself into a corner. I absolutely positively thought he’d stop me.” She laughed. “When I left, I think I wanted to spite him. I needed some distance from other things, too, I suppose.”

He smiled. “Pride. Gets you every time.”

She laughed again. “Things happened so fast. Before I realized it, the tickets came in the mail for Max and me. Nick could’ve changed my mind, but he didn‘t try. He didn’t want to change. I shut anyone else who mattered out. Big mistake. Once I got here, I realized finding Drew was the last thing on Wayde’s mind. His whole demeanor changed within a week. I wanted to go home, but by then I felt too embarrassed to crawl back, and Wayde was making leaving difficult. I let things carry on too long. I wish the tickets had never come. When I told Wayde I’d come if he purchased them, I didn’t think he’d take me seriously.”

He laughed playfully. “Maybe I should’ve given you the ‘she’s too crazy for me’ test. Just kidding—sorta.”

She laughed with him. “Crazy, I know. Things were bad at the time, though, and when Wayde offered to help find Drew, I started feeling a connection with him. Plus, I needed to get away. Now, things are even more of a disaster.”

“Why didn’t you stay in New York, remain separated, and work on things? You put yourself and your son in a lot of danger. You seem smarter than that.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve done dumber things.” She said animatedly, accompanied by her shaking head. “Look, it’s complicated. My concern isn’t with Nick and me. It’s about Max being with his father. Wow, sorry. Rule number one, don’t talk about ex’s on the first date.”

“Is this a date?” It was a hopeful statement but came out sounding questionable. He squeezed his eyes closed and grimaced with a half shake of his head for making the remark. “I guess it is, and it’s unique like you.” He hoped to ease her embarrassment.

She lowered her eyes. “I’m not sure what this is. I don’t know why I said that.”

“I guess what matters most is we’re here. More wine?”

She nodded, and he poured.





A little too often.

“You’re a good listener,” she said, adding a shy smile.

“When I’m interested. With you, it’s the unspoken thoughts I’m curious about. Obviously, you don’t like this guy. Are you safe with him?"

She lowered her head slightly and waived the comment away. “I’d rather not talk about Wayde.” Her forefinger began to trace the pattern of the watermark on the table beside her. After a few circles around the mark, she sighed, appearing bored with the distraction. “I wanted to call him today.”

“Wayde?”

“No, Nick. I guess I wanted him to rescue me. I need to stop expecting a rescue. I’m realizing I should try to get out of this predicament on my own and forget about Nick.” She blinked, and he could tell she held back tears.

He swung his feet from the top of the table and leaned forward holding his hands between his legs. “My interest is piqued. You said you’ve done dumber things. What could be crazier than running off with a stranger?”

She rested her elbow on the arm of the chair, her hand cradling her forehead. She kept her head lowered when she spoke. “On my knees, swallowing a bottle of pills, crying like a beggar for my husband’s love.” She lifted her head, and her eyes met his. “Did I really just say that to a stranger?”

Holy shit. It was quite a disclosure. He extended his hand, beckoning her with two fingers. “Come.”

After a moment, she got up from the chair and went to him. He took her hand. Their eyes connected. He could feel the bond, and all at once, it made him whole and broken at the same time. For a woman so beautiful, she had little confidence, and after sharing her reasons for being there, he wasn’t surprised.

He patted the space beside him. “Sit with me.”

She sat down beside him, keeping her head lowered a bit. He pulled her close. Her gaze met his, and tears started to roll down her bright red cheeks. He could see she was humiliated. He lifted his hand to her face and wiped the tears with his thumb. His eyes drifted toward her lips. He held back the desire to kiss them and instead pressed his lips to her forehead. “You’ll be okay.” It was his job to make sure she was. They talked intimately a while longer, and he continued holding her; she drifted off to sleep. Her lightweight body relaxed and sank deeper into his arms. Eventually, he dozed off, too, feeling peace that had been absent for so long.

He awoke, and sensing the late hour, took in a deep breath, admonishing his lack of good sense. His movement roused her, and her hair brushed his cheek. Its clean, fresh smell prompted him to lean in and breathe deeper this time. Their soft warm bodies burrowed closer, and he held her in his arms, observing her as she slept. He’d let her drink too much. So many times, he had imagined being with her this way. He glanced at his watch. Already three-thirty, a few more minutes wouldn’t make the situation worse. After a little while, he gently nudged her awake.

“Kinsley.”

She roused.

“We should go now.”

“What time is it?”

“Three-forty-five.”

“What? What will people think? What will Dr. Pierce think?”