“That’s bullshit.”
“Uncle Al has made an art form out of building this circus. We are what we are because of it. Who the hell knows what’s in that tent? If there’s nothing he wants, then fine. Who cares? But if there’s something he wants and you mess with his business and he ends up paying more because of it, you better believe that Al is going to mess with you. Do you understand?” He speaks through clenched teeth. “Do . . . you . . . understand?” he repeats, coming to a full stop after each word.
I stare straight into his unblinking eyes. “Entirely,” I say.
“Good,” he says. He takes his finger out of my face and steps backward. “Good,” he says again, nodding and allowing his face to relax. He forces a laugh. “I’ll tell you what, that whiskey will go down well.”
“I think I’ll pass.”
He watches me for a moment and then shrugs. “Suit yourself,” he says.
I take a seat some distance from the tent housing the abandoned animals, watching it with increasing desperation. The sidewall billows inward from a sudden gust of wind. There isn’t even a cross draft. I have never been more aware of the heat beating down on my own head and the dryness of my own throat. I remove my hat and wipe a gritty arm across my forehead.
WHEN THE ORANGE and blue flag goes up over the cookhouse for dinner, a handful of new Benzini Brothers employees join the lineup, identifiable by the red dinner tickets they clutch in their hands. The fat man was lucky, as was the bearded lady and a handful of dwarves. Uncle Al took on only performers, although one unfortunate fellow found himself unemployed again within a matter of minutes when August caught him looking a little too appreciatively at Marlena as he exited the privilege car.
A few others try to join the lineup, and not a one of them gets by Ezra. His only job is to know everyone on the show, and by God, he’s good at it. When he jerks his thumb at some unfortunate, Blackie steps forward to take care of it. One or two of the rejects manage to scarf a fistful of food before flying headfirst out of the cookhouse.
Drab, silent men hang all around the perimeter with hungry eyes. As Marlena steps away from the steam tables, one of them addresses her. He’s a tall man, gaunt, with deeply creased cheeks. Under different circumstances, he would probably be handsome.
“Lady—hey, lady. Can you spare a little? Just a piece of bread?”
Marlena stops and looks at him. His face is hollow, his eyes desperate. She looks at her plate.
“Aw, come on, lady. Have a heart. I ain’t ate in two days.” He runs his tongue across cracked lips.
“Keep moving,” says August, taking Marlena’s elbow and steering her firmly toward a table in the center of the tent. It’s not our usual table, but I’ve noticed that people tend not to argue with August. Marlena sits silently, looking occasionally at the men outside the tent.
“Oh, it’s no good,” she says, flinging her cutlery to the table. “I can’t eat with those poor souls out there.” She stands and picks up her plate.
“Where are you going?” August says sharply.
Marlena stares down at him. “How am I supposed to sit here and eat when they’ve had nothing for two days?”
“You are not giving that to him,” says August. “Now sit down.”
People from several other tables turn to look. August smiles nervously at them and leans toward Marlena. “Darling,” he says urgently, “I know this is hard on you. But if you give that man food, it will encourage him to hang around, and then what? Uncle Al’s already made his picks. He wasn’t one of them. He’s got to move on, that’s all—and the sooner the better. It’s for his own good. It’s a kindness, really.”
Marlena’s eyes narrow. She sets her plate down, stabs a pork chop with her fork, and slaps it on a piece of bread. She swipes August’s bread, slaps it on the other side of the pork chop, and storms off.
“What do you think you’re doing?” shouts August.
She walks straight to the gaunt man, picks up his hand, and plants the sandwich in it. Then she marches off to scattered applause and whistles from the working men’s side of the tent.
August vibrates with anger, a vein pulsing at his temple. After a moment he rises, taking his plate. He tilts its contents into the trash and leaves.
I stare at my plate. It’s piled high with pork chops, collard greens, mashed potatoes, and baked apples. I worked like a dog all day, but I can’t eat a thing.