“Didn’t much care what happened afterward, if I ever needed to employ such drastic measures,” he retorted. Then his tone hardened. “The most dangerous enemy you’ve ever faced is yourself, Kitten. I know that even if you still won’t admit it.”
This wasn’t at all how I had imagined this conversation would go. I expected Bones to ask forgiveness for his terrible deception. Instead, it seemed like he was putting my actions on trial.
“I’m a danger to myself? On the pier, you used an inherited power that’s only worked by accident once before,” I flung back.
His dark brown gaze didn’t waver. “No, luv. I made sure I’d mastered the gift I inherited from Tenoch before I used it at the pier.”
He’d. Been. Practicing. For a few seconds, I was so stunned I was speechless. Then I said the words that had been burning inside me ever since I figured out his degeneration into a corpse had been a trick.
“You let me watch you die.”
My voice was raw, while the memory of seeing him wither ripped through me like razors had replaced my emotions. I wished our supernatural bond went the other way so I could shove those feelings back into him and watch him buckle under their weight.
“You knew I’d think it was real, and you did it anyway!”
He gripped my shoulders, but I knocked his hands away with an incoherent hiss. Bones didn’t try to touch me again. Only his gaze held mine as he spoke.
“You said it yourself: You are a fighter, and I can’t expect you to change. No matter my objections or the danger, you were going to use yourself as bait to get Madigan because he was an evil sod who needed taking down. That’s who you are, Kitten. It’s who you’ve always been.”
Then his mouth twisted into a humorless smile.
“But you forgot who I am—a ruthless bastard who will do anything to keep you safe. So yes, I pretended one of the soldiers fired silver bullets in order that you, and everyone else, would believe I’d died. It was the only way to protect you when Madigan brought you back to the compound, and I had no doubt he’d capture you if you went to meet him. He’s waited too long not to come at you with everything he had, and if I’d told you of my plan beforehand, your reaction wouldn’t have been genuine, and Madigan would’ve smelled a trap.”
He reached out again, but my glare stopped him. What he’d done hurt too much to handle feeling his hands on me.
“Madigan would never have captured me if you hadn’t pulled that filthy trick,” I said through gritted teeth. “We could have grabbed him and been gone. I managed to fly away just fine when his team descended. I only came back when I saw that you weren’t with me.”
“He had drones standing by and laser targets painted on you from the moment you arrived,” Bones said sharply. “Ask Denise, she saw them. None of us were leaving the area except in his custody. My ‘filthy trick’ ensured that Madigan didn’t pull those triggers. He knew, as I did, that you would never leave me behind.”
News of the drones and laser targeting startled me, but Madigan’s willingness to blow himself up along with us, if it came to that, didn’t. He’d proven pretty definitely that he would rather die than be our captive, as his body outside attested. Seems Bones had thought of everything before pulling his Trojan Horse ruse to get Madigan to bring us into his super secret, ultra-guarded facility.
Well, almost everything.
“In all of your planning, did it ever occur to you that I wouldn’t want to live if I thought you were dead? You almost woke up to a big surprise because I intended to check out as soon as I killed Madigan.”
Horror flashed across his features, and he grabbed me too fast to block. “You promised me you would never do that, Kitten!”
“To quote Ian, ‘I changed my mind, Crispin!’ ” I thundered back. Then I ducked beneath him, shoving him when he tried to grab me again.
He stayed where he was, hands still stretched out as though gripping phantom flesh. Then he dropped them, and this time, his shields dropped with them.
Emotions blasted into me with such force, I backed up until the wall stopped me. Then there was nowhere to go as a geyser of tormented anguish flooded me, drowning my anger under its depths. It turned into glaciers of ruthless resolve that chilled my sense of betrayal until it crystalized and shattered. Finally, an inferno of love swept over the remains, burning all my hurt with its searing, excruciatingly beautiful flames.
Without meaning to, I slid down the wall. I’d thought my emotions would buckle Bones if he could feel them, but I was the one too shaken to stand beneath the onslaught of his. It didn’t negate what he’d done. Instead, it affirmed it. What we felt for each other couldn’t be reasoned with, controlled, or tamed, and with the maelstrom still swirling inside me, I knew Bones would do the same thing again despite it delivering a crippling blow to both of us.
“I love you, Kitten.”