27
IT WAS WEIRD, BEING BACK HOME, ALONE. I had grown so used to Jared and Karlie; their stuff and the comforting sounds of a home.
This place, I looked around the sparsely decorated condo, was not home.
The old saying was right, it’s not the place that makes a home, but the people.
I missed seeing them every day.
A knock on the door sounded and I opened it up to greet Piper.
“Hey, girlie, how you feeling?” she asked, stepping inside.
“Fine,” I shrugged. “The pain in my ribs is almost gone and my cast should be coming off sometime in the next two weeks.” I rubbed at it. “I really can’t wait for it to be gone. It’s itchy.”
Piper chuckled. “Just don’t break any pencils off, trying to scratch down in there.”
“Eww,” I made a face of disgust.
Piper sat down on the couch, quickly making herself at home. I took the spot beside her, drawing my legs up and facing her.
“I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever,” she said sadly. “I didn’t mean to just bail on you. When I heard about the accident it just… freaked me out. I’m sorry about that. I just don’t like being reminded that life can be cut short, so quickly. There is no guarantee that we get to grow old. It made me think about my own life and how I’m not doing what I love. I’m dropping out and I’m going to pursue fashion design.”
I was not expecting that and I’m sure my dropped jaw was proof of that.
Piper giggled. “I can only hope my parents react that way… speechless, that’d be nice. But I know there’s going to be a lot of yelling involved and they’ll probably disown me.”
“I- I- uh- are you going to leave?” I finally asked.
“I think I’ll take the rest of this year off, start building a portfolio and hope to start at a design school in the fall,” she shrugged. “I just… I need to try, you know?”
I nodded. “I understand,” I told her.
“I know my parents won’t pay for it, so I’m going to have to find a job and put back all the money I can. College isn’t cheap,” she ran her fingers through her hair in frustration. “Do you think I’m crazy?”
“I think everyone has a little bit of crazy in them,” I said, honestly, “but I don’t think you’re making the wrong decision by pursuing your dream. If you don’t, you’ll always regret it.”
“Thanks,” she said, reaching for my hand. She pulled away before we made contact. “I –uh- really needed to hear that.”
“Anytime, we’re friends, Piper. At least, now, I know why you weren’t in class this week. I was starting to worry since I hadn’t heard from you,” I said, resting my chin on my knees.
“I’m really sorry I didn’t check on you,” she smiled sadly. “It’s been two weeks and I haven’t said a word to you.”
“Piper, it’s okay, seriously. I understand. Sometimes, when bad things happen, people can’t handle it. I’m the same way. I always run from my problems and the things that scare me. You finally have to get to the point that your legs are tired and you stop. Once you stop, you begin to wonder what you were running from in the first place.”
“Jared’s changed you,” Piper smiled.
I shook my head. “No, I changed myself.”
~***~
Watching Jared punch someone was hard, watching him get hit, was three times as hard.
Every time he got hit, I winced. I didn’t like seeing him get hurt.
“Get him Jare-Bear!” Rollo yelled. “Knock his teeth down his throat!”
I shook my head, only Rollo, would say something like that.
Jared punched his opponent hard enough to send him to his knees.
“This is… extremely violent, but I feel incredibly turned on at the same time. Is that weird?” Piper leaned over to ask me.
This was the third time I’d been to one of Jared’s fights and I’d asked Piper and Rollo to come along.
“I’m probably not the best person to ask,” I said, covering my eyes with my hands as Jared took a hit to the ribs.
“Karlie?” Piper leaned across the bleachers to look at Karlie, who was sitting to my left.
“It’s not weird at all,” she grinned. “I think we can’t help but be turned on by sweaty, half-naked men, growling and being all manly. It’s super hot,” she fanned herself. Paling she looked at Piper and me. “Just don’t tell Jare I said that, he’ll never let me come to a match again.”
“We won’t,” I assured her.
The bell dinged for the one-minute break.
I had sixty seconds to calm my heart. Yeah, that probably wasn’t going to happen.
Dan tossed Jared a bottle of water and started inspecting his ribs. I could see how red they were from here. That couldn’t be good.
I wanted run down the bleachers and examine him for myself.
The bell dinged again.
I covered my eyes. I couldn’t watch.
“Stop covering your eyes,” Karlie scolded.
“I can’t. I hate seeing him get hurt!” I winced when I heard a particularly brutal sounding punch.
“Jared knows what he’s doing. This is his job, Katy,” Karlie assured me.
“I know,” I said.
You’d think I’d be used to this by now, having gone to his fights three times, but my anxiety got worse each time.
Sometimes, I wished Jared had a normal job, but I knew he loved this and what kind of person would I be to not want him to do what he loves.
The break passed and the bell dinged again. I’d kept my eyes covered the whole time.
“Katy, you’ve got to stop freaking out or Jared won’t let you come any more,” Karlie said, soothingly. “He doesn’t want you to worry about him.”
I immediately dropped my hands from my face. I looked down to the ring and saw Jared looking up in the stands at me. When he caught my eye, he grinned, kissing his fingers, he lifted them into the air and pointed at me. “My girl,” he mouthed.
“Jare-bear’s got it bad,” Rollo chuckled.
“Yes, he does,” Karlie, agreed.
I blushed as some of the girls in the stands turned to glare at me. Since they weren’t sure who he’d been pointing at, they ended up glaring at each other.
“If Jared wins this fight, he’ll have to travel for the next one,” Karlie said, twitching in her seat with excitement.
The bell sounded and I sat on my hands to keep them from covering my eyes.
Even from this far away, I could see the determined gleam in Jared’s eyes. He wasn’t going to lose this fight. Whenever Jared got that look, the other guy didn’t stand a chance.
I almost felt bad for the other guy as he tried to block Jared’s blows, but it was much easier to watch him get hurt, than to see Jared injured.
The guy fell to the ground and didn’t get up.
Jared cleared out of the ring and grabbed a towel to wipe his sweaty body.
“Katy!” I heard called behind me.
I hadn’t realized I was moving.
Actually, I was running,
Running down the bleachers and straight into Jared’s arms.
“Hey there, kitten,” he growled in my ear, catching me. “Careful,” he winced when I brushed his side.
“Sorry!” I let go.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he growled huskily, pulling me against his other side. Brushing his nose against my ear, he said, “I told you to be careful, not to let go. I never want you to let go of me, kittycat.”
I blushed at his words, trying to ignore the glares of the girls behind me and the hoots of the guys.
Jared said something to Dan and then whispered in my ear, “Come with me.”
He waved at Rollo, Piper, and Karlie, before leading me out of the gym and down the hallway. He pulled me into the locker room and locked the door behind him.
“Uh- people need to get in, right?” I asked.
“Probably,” Jared grinned. “They’ll just have to wait,” he pressed a kiss to my chin.
My neck arched in response, craving his touch.
I had gone so long, hardly letting anyone touch me, but now, I wanted Jared to touch me all the time. I needed to make sure this was real and his touch assured me of that.
He placed a light kiss on my lips.
“I need to shower,” he hooked his thumb over his shoulder. “Wait here… please,” he motioned to the bench in front of the row of lockers.
“Uh-”
“It’s okay, Katy. I told Dan you’d be with me. No one’s going to come banging down the door,” he kissed my cheek. “I’ll be quick.”
“Okay,” I sighed, sitting down on the wooden bench. “I’ll just be here.”
He chuckled, pulling clean clothes out of his locker. I noticed a picture of us together and I wondered who’d taken it.
It looked like were sitting on his couch. His arm was wrapped around me and he was kissing my cheek. I was smiling and there was a sparkle in my eyes.
“Where’d that picture come from?” I pointed.
“This one?” he pointed. “Karlie took it. I liked it, so I printed it off. I can take it down if it bothers you.”
“No, no, don’t do that,” I waved my hands back and forth. “Do you –uh- think you could get me one?”
A grin spread across his face. “Of course, kitten.”
“Thanks,” I fiddled with my fingers.
“Give me five minutes,” he held up a hand and wiggled his fingers. “Five.”
“Would you like me to set a timer?” I chuckled.
“You can if you want,” he winked.
He disappeared into the shower area and I sat on the bench, looking around the locker room.
It was pretty typical, although cleaner than I would have imagined.
The tile floors were scrubbed clean and the green lockers all appeared brand new.
It didn’t stink either, which was nice.
Steam bellowed out from the shower area and the roar of the shower water threatened to put me to sleep. For some reason, the sound of running water always relaxed me.
The shower nozzle squeaked off and a minute later, Jared appeared, wearing low slung jeans and a long sleeved button up black shirt.
“Going somewhere?” I smiled, quirking a brow.
He chuckled, rubbing the towel over his scalp to dry his hair. “Yeah, taking my girl out on a date.”
“Oh, really?” I blushed.
He picked up my hand. “Yeah, I haven’t seen her a lot in the past two weeks and I really miss her. I miss having her in my house, in my bed, her scent on my pillow,” his lips skimmed the underside of my jaw as he pulled me up.
My body shook at his words and he had to steady me. Was I swooning? Lord, help me; I didn’t want to be one of those girls.
“Where –uh- where do you want to go?” I asked.
Oh God. I closed my eyes. If I said, uh, one more time, I was going to stab myself in the eye.
He chuckled.
“To my house,” he placed his hands on my hips and I shivered. “I want to cook for you.”
“What about Karlie?”
Jared licked his lips. “Karlie will be going home with Dan and Patsy.”
“O-oh,” I stuttered.
“It’ll just be, you and me,” he swayed us back and forth, like we were dancing to our own beat. At my panicked expression, he added, “Nothing like that is going to happen tonight, Katy. I’m not saying I don’t want you that way, because I do, but you’re not ready. It’ll just be dinner and I might even,” he pressed his lips to my ear, “steal the occasional kiss.”
“I’d like that,” I breathed.
“Good,” he grinned, a twinkle in his eye. He opened his locker and grabbed his duffel bag. “Let’s get out of here,” he reached for my hand.
I took it and he led me to his car.
“I really shouldn’t leave Rollo and Piper,” I looked back at the building. “That wouldn’t be nice of me.”
Jared squeezed my hand reassuringly. “Don’t worry, Katy, I already told them.”
“You did?” I asked, climbing into his too tall SUV.
“Of course,” he winked, before jogging around to the driver’s side. He tossed his duffel bag in the back and then the vehicle roared to life.
“So… what are you making me for dinner?” I smiled up at him.
“I’m not telling. It’s a surprise,” he chuckled.
“What if I hate it?” I questioned. Although, the chances of me hating anything Jared made were slim. He was an incredible cook.
“Nice try, kittycat,” he grinned. A few minutes passed, “If you do hate it,” he suddenly sounded insecure, “we’ll order takeout.”
“Jared, I was joking. I know I’ll love it,” I patted his arm.
“Okay,” he let out a gusty breath as he pulled into the driveway.
When we walked into the house, I was immediately assaulted by the scents of garlic and Parmesan cheese.
“Smells delicious,” I removed my jacket and hung it on the hook of the coat rack, next to the door.
Jared guided me into the kitchen and lifted the lid off a pan of simmering fettuccine alfredo. He added some shrimp and let them begin to cook.
He’d already made garlic bread, but he put it back in the oven to heat.
“Do you want some wine?” he nodded over his shoulder at a bottle of Merlot.
“Would you believe me, if I said yes?” I laughed.
“I figured you’d give me some line about being underage,” he winked.
“Nope, not this time. If you’d offered beer, then yes, but once I turned twelve my mom let me drink wine on certain occasions. I’ve acquired a taste for it, but I still don’t have it much.”
“Humph,” he snorted. “Your mom is a trip.”
I shrugged. “She did the best she could.”
“She could’ve done better. You deserved better,” Jared looked at me with steel in his eyes. “No parent should neglect their child the way she did you, or serve her underage kid alcohol.”
I ran my fingers through my hair. “Not every parent is perfect, Jared. In fact, there’s no such thing as perfect. Your dad certainly wasn’t perfect.”
“I know that,” Jared leaned against the counter, giving the pasta an occasional stir. “But I was lucky enough to get taken in by people that truly cared and loved me. You didn’t have that, Katy. Who loved you?”
I clenched my jaw, damming back the tears. “No one,” I croaked, and then couldn’t hold the tears back any longer.
“I’m sorry, baby,” Jared pulled me into his arms. “I didn’t mean to make you cry. I never want to be the reason for your tears,” he swiped his large thumbs under my eyes.
“You’re not,” I shook my head, my voice thick with emotion.
“But I caused them.”
“No,” I tried to smile, “you’re here to wipe them away.”
“You’re right, kitten,” he bent down, brushing his nose against mine, “and I’ll always be here to wipe your eyes.”
“Enough of this,” I backed out of his grip and ripped off a paper towel to dry my face. “I want to eat this amazing dinner that my lovely boyfriend made.”
“Say it again?” he grinned.
“Say what again?”
“Boyfriend. I love hearing that word come out of your mouth,” his brown eyes sparkled with happiness.
I laughed, shaking my head.
“Say it,” he waited.
“Boyfriend. You are my boyfriend, Jared. My wonderful, fantastical, awesomely amazing, boyfriend that I love.”
“Be still my heart,” he put his hand to his chest.
“Stop it,” I pushed his shoulder lightly.
He chuckled and turned to check on the food. “It’s ready, grab the plates?”
“Sure,” I said, reaching up on my tiptoes to grab them. I placed them on the counter and he scooped the pasta onto both, before grabbing the bread from the oven.
I took the plates and sat them on the table while Jared grabbed two wine glasses and the bottle.
He poured our glasses half full and lit two candles he’d placed on the table. They were Yankee Candles, not the tall ones they had in fancy restaurants, but somehow this was so much better.
He sat down and nervously ran his hands over his jeans. “Is this good?” he motioned to the setup, a nervous tone to his voice.
“It’s perfect, Jared,” I assured him. “I’ll remember tonight for the rest of my life, just like the night at the park.”
He grinned. “That makes me really happy.”
“It’s the truth.”
He kissed my cheek. “I’m glad tonight will be one you’ll never forget,” his voice went husky, “because I’ll never forget a moment that I spend with you.”
I swirled a piece of pasta around the fork and shoved it in my mouth before I said something embarrassing.
Jared chuckled and started eating.
“This is really good,” I told him. “I’ve been meaning to ask, who taught you to cook?”
A distant, almost glacial, look formed in his eyes. “My mom,” He whispered. “I had to fend for myself a lot. Most of the time, she was beaten so badly that she couldn’t make me dinner, so she started teaching me when my dad wasn’t around or passed out drunk. She wanted me to eat normal meals. When I moved in with Dan and Patsy, it was already ingrained in me to cook for myself. Patsy was amazed that I cooked, especially at such a young age, so she started teaching me her family’s recipes.”
“Wow,” I said, picturing Jared as a small child, standing at the stove on a stool as he cooked for himself. It was a sad image and my lower lip began to tremble.
“Katy, please don’t cry,” he begged. “I’m really ruining tonight, aren’t I? This is twice I’ve made you cry.”
“I’m sorry,” I grabbed the paper napkin, wiping at my eyes. “You shouldn’t have had to grow up like that. Jared, why are good people always punished? The bad people get away with everything. What did we do to deserve this?”
“Katy,” he ran a hand over his face, “we didn’t do anything. This is just the life we’ve been dealt because we’re strong. Other people couldn’t have gone through what we did and come out okay on the other side.”
“Are we? Okay, I mean?”
“We’re more than okay, Katy,” he brushed my hair back with his fingertips. “We’re better people because of our pasts. We understand the good and the bad of the world. We know that no one and nothing is perfect. Most people strive for perfection their whole lives, only to realize that it doesn’t exist. We’ve been saved the hassle.”
“You’re right,” I dried the last of my tears. “No more blubbering. We’re going to enjoy this delicious meal.”
He grinned. “You sure?”
“Yes,” I nodded. “I’m sure.”
He put a piece of garlic bread on my plate and I took a sip of wine.
“Karlie said that since you won, you’d be traveling for your next fight,” I put the glass down and attacked the fettuccine.
“I was going to tell you,” he winced.
“Jared, I’m not mad, if that’s what you’re thinking. You don’t need to tell me everything. I was just trying to steer the conversation in a different direction from the oh-so-serious one we were having before.”
“Oh,” he said, “yeah, since I won, I’ll be out of town next weekend. There will be a fight Sunday afternoon, but I have to be there on Saturday. I’ll be back late Sunday night, though. I’ll have to do some interviews and that takes time.”
“How far away will you be? Do you have to fly?”
“Only three hours by car,” he shrugged. “So, not too bad. I hate to ask this, but would you want to stay here with Karlie, while I’m gone. You certainly don’t have to, but since her stuff is here, she hates having to pack up and go to Dan and Patsy’s. Plus,” he grinned crookedly; “I really miss having your scent on my pillow.”
“I’d love to,” I answered immediately, a blush stealing across my cheeks.
“Good,” he chuckled. “I’m happy you’re so enthusiastic.”
I looked around, avoiding his eye. “I miss it here.”
His fork clattered against the glass plate as he dropped it.
“What did I say?” Panic began to set in. Had my words scared him away?
“I’m just surprised, is all,” he wiped up the Alfredo sauce that had splattered across the table. “I figured after a week, you’d had your fill of us.”
“No, never,” I shook my head. “I’ve missed being here every day, with you and Karlie. For the first time in my life, I felt like I had a family, that I was a part of something.”
Jared looked at me like I was slowly breaking his heart.
“Katy, you could’ve stayed,” he said evenly.
“But then one week would have turned into two and then three, then what?” I questioned.
“You’d move in,” he answered simply, like it was the most logical thing.
“I have my own place, Jared,” I explained, “with my own stuff.”
“So, you’d sell it and move your stuff here,” he gave me a ‘duh’ look.
“Jared, we’ve been dating… what, a month? And have only known each other for like… three,” I held up three fingers for emphasis. “I can’t just pack up my whole life… it wouldn’t be normal,” my voice dropped. True, I missed staying here, I missed seeing Jared and Karlie every day, but moving in together screamed commitment, and I was afraid Jared would tire of me after a few months. My heart wouldn’t be able to take a breakup and a move.
“Katy,” Jared said, calmly, like he was talking me down from a ledge, “I would love for you to move into tomorrow but clearly, you’re not ready for that. Remember, you’re in control of this, kitten. Okay? No pressure.”
I nodded. “No pressure,” I repeated.
He grinned and nodded at my wrist. “As soon as you’re healed, do you want to start working out with me again?”
“Oh –um- yeah, that would be awesome,” I replied.
He chuckled, shaking his head. “You could sound more enthusiastic about it.”
“That’d be great!” I tried to put more oomph into it.
“That’s more like it,” Jared winked.
We finished our meal, with no more talk about our pasts or moving in.
I helped him wash the plates and clean the kitchen.
I suddenly found myself backed into the corner of the kitchen cabinets. Jared’s arms caged me in, one on each side.
“I guess I better take you home,” he said huskily.
“Ye-yeah,” I stuttered.
“I really don’t want to,” his nose swiped across the contours of my cheek. “I want to kiss you until nothing else exists except you and me.”
“Oh, really?” I smiled, my eyes fluttering closed as I prepared myself for the delicate touch of his warm lips.
“Yes… really,” his breath gusted against me.
A few seconds passed and neither of us moved. “Jared? Why aren’t you kissing me?”
He chuckled. “You didn’t give me permission.”
I opened my eyes and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling lightly on his short hair. “You always have permission to kiss me.”
He growled before crushing his lips to mine.
His fingers flexed against my hips and I suddenly found myself lifted on top of the counter. He spread my legs and stepped between them. He kept his hands on my knees and I was thankful that he didn’t venture up my thighs. I loved Jared but I didn’t want his hands going any higher. I could only take so much, before I went running and I really didn’t want that to happen.
Jared pulled away. “I should take you home now,” he said breathlessly.
I cupped his cheeks. “You’re probably right.”
He nodded and backed up. I jumped down from the counter and straightened my clothes.
“We needed tonight,” I told him, gathering my purse.
He grinned, sticking his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, we did.”
I pulled my coat on and Jared grabbed his keys. I waited by the door but he didn’t move.
“What is it?” I asked.
He looked to his side, his jaw clenched, and a muscle ticking. “I really don’t want you to go, not yet.”
“I-”
He held up a hand. “We can watch a movie,” Jared pointed at the TV. “And then I can take you home. I just need a little longer, just you and me.”
“That’s fine,” I said, removing my coat and dropping my purse. I took a seat on the small couch.
Jared sat beside me and wiped his palms on his jeans. “I feel like an awkward teen, again,” he chuckled, glancing at me. “I don’t mean to guilt you. I’ll take you home, if that’s what you want.”
I smiled. It was nice to see Jared getting all twisted up; normally it was me.
“Jared, you know me well enough by now, to know that if I wanted to leave, I would.”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “You would.” He chuckled, “I’m sure you’d run right out the door, leaving a Katy shaped impression behind.”
I traced my finger around the crook of his thumb and index finger. “I said I wouldn’t run anymore and I meant it. Sometimes, I might get the urge, but I’m not going to run from you, not any longer.”
He let out a relieved sigh. “I know… but I still worry.”
“We’re human, Jared, we worry. Now, about that movie?”
“Oh, right,” he stood up and started rummaging through the cabinet the TV sat on. “Is the Fast and the Furious good with you?” He held up a DVD case.
“I don’t care,” I shrugged.
He bent and put the DVD in the player and grabbed a different remote.
He sat down and stretched his arm across the back of the couch. I kicked off my shoes and curled up beside him. I felt his lips press against the top of my head and I sighed in contentment.
The movie started and I felt my eyes grow heavy.
I felt a blanket drape across my shoulders and Jared murmured in my ear, “Love you, kitten.”
I tried to say something back but it came out sounding like some kind of alien sleep talk.
He chuckled, his chest rumbling against my ear, and that was the last thing I remembered.
~***~
Sunlight streamed across my skin, warming me and blinding me in the process.
I cracked my eyes open and startled.
There were very warm, very muscular, arms wrapped around me. Jared had me cuddled against his chest like I was a teddy bear and his face was buried in my neck. His breath gusted against me, making my skin tickle.
I knew my breath had to smell terrible and I should extract myself from his arms before he woke up, but I just couldn’t do it.
This moment, it was too perfect to ruin with insecurities.
Instead, I cuddled up closer to him and drew the blanket over both of us.
I closed my eyes, but I didn’t go back to sleep.
I wanted to enjoy this moment. I wanted to memorize the feel of Jared’s arms around me, and the fact that I loved it. After going so long without touching anyone this way, it felt amazing. It was a sense that everyone took for granted. Touch, was everything.
Jared’s arms squeezed gently around me, “You awake?” he asked quietly, yawning.
“Yeah,” I whispered, not wanting to pop the peaceful bubble we had created.
“I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” he cradled me to his chest. “I meant to take you home.”
“Jared,” I said.
“Yeah?”
“I’m right where I want to be,” I kissed his stubble covered cheek.
“Good,” he smiled.