18
“YOUR BROTHER IS GOING TO KILL ME,” I looked at the clock in my car. It was after nine and I knew he’d be pissed we had been gone so long.
“He’ll get over it,” Karlie shrugged like it was no big deal.
“That’s easy for you to say, he won’t be mad at you,” I sped down the road.
Karlie snorted. “He’s always mad at me about something, he acts like he’s my dad. Trust me, if there’s anyone Jared could never be mad at, I think it’s you.”
“I think it’s really great that Jared cares for you the way he does,” I said.
“Yeah, it is. I’m just happy he’s turned out to be who he is. He’s a great person, but having gone through what he has,” she shook her head. “It would have completely ruined most people, but not, Jared. He had a phase during his teen years where he was really rebellious and that was when Dan got him into fighting at the gym.”
I was curious to know more, but I knew Karlie wouldn’t let anything about Jared’s past slip.
Plus, for whatever reason, I thought of our deal.
Jared’s voice echoed through my head.
“I’ll tell you about my past, when you tell me about yours. I won’t push you to open up to me, Katy. I’m not like that. I’ll give you time, all the time in the world. But in the meantime, I want you to give me a chance, because I think we could turn out to be something great.”
A smile lifted my lips when I thought of his words.
“Katy!” Karlie screamed suddenly, but it was too late.
I closed my eyes and braced for impact.
I felt the car hit the deer and skid out of the lane.
My eyes popped open and I tried to right the car, but I couldn’t.
A car in the other lane, slammed into the driver’s side door.
Pain laced through my arm as the airbag exploded in front of me.
I could hear Karlie screaming and I reached out to take her hand, to comfort her, not even thinking about what kind of reaction the physical contact might cause me, but my hand never found hers.
The pain was too much and I finally succumbed to the numbness.
~***~
I felt like I was sinking.
Sinking deeper and deeper, with no clue which way was up and down.
I couldn’t breathe and I couldn’t see.
All my senses seemed to be missing.
Everything around me was just a blank, black, void.
I sunk deeper into the depths and then there was no more.
~***~
Yelling.
Someone was yelling.
Really loud.
And my head hurt.
I wish they’d shut up.
What was that annoying beeping sound?
Was my alarm going off?
Slowly, my eyes peeled open and I gasped when I took in my surroundings.
The beeping got louder with the racing of my heart, so did the yelling.
No one was in my hospital room, but I opened my mouth anyway and said, “Karlie?” I tried to yell it, but my voice came out crackly and barely above a whispered. “Karlie?” I tried again.
Out in the hallway, the yelling came closer and I recognized the voice.
“Katy! Katy!” Jared yelled and he sounded like a mad man. “Katy! Someone tell me where Katy Spencer’s room is! Karlie-” this time he sounded relieved. “Where is she?” I heard him ask.
A second later the door to my room burst open and I flinched, ready for the yelling and hatred to pour off of Jared, for getting in a car wreck with his sister.
Instead, his voice cracked and a tear slipped down his cheek, “Kitten?”
My lower lip trembled. I needed him.
“Oh baby,” Jared said, falling to his knees beside my hospital bed. “Karlie called me, oh God, I’ve never felt like this in my entire life. I think my heart stopped when she told me you were hurt.”
“Is she okay?” I asked, my voice cracking.
He reached for my hand but just before he touched me, he stuffed his hands in his pockets.
“She’s fine, just a scratch on her cheek from a piece of glass. She didn’t even need stitches, she’s just shaken up, that’s all. You, on the other hand,” he laughed humorlessly, “are hurt. Three bruised ribs and your wrist is broken. You’re going to be sore for a while.
I met his eyes. “The scars and bruises on the outside, in no way, compare to the ones on the inside. It’s the scars you can’t see that hurt the most, Jared.”
He reached out again, to touch my cheek. His fingers hesitated, millimeters away. “I need to touch you,” he choked. “I need to make sure you’re really alive.”
“Touch me,” I whispered.
He gasped, eyes wide.
“Touch me,” I repeated.
His fingers lightly touched my cheek and he moaned. “God, your skin is so soft.”
I leaned my cheek against his fingers so that more of him was touching me and soaked in the heat radiating off of him.
Nothing had ever felt so good as Jared touching me.
This, in no way, compared to the night at the club where he held my hand.
This was a hundred, no, a thousand times better. It felt so intimate, when really, it was a just a simple gesture.
He moved his fingers, skimming them along my jaw line, and I moaned in pleasure. My cheeks instantly flared red.
“Don’t ever be embarrassed by your reactions to me,” Jared breathed, his face near mine. “I want to hear what I do to you. I need to know that you’re as affected by me, as I am by you.”
He leaned his forehead against mine, barely touching. I flinched at the sudden contact, but then realized it felt really good. Maybe, that’s what I had been afraid of, since Preston raped me. Maybe, I’d become afraid of someone touching me and actually liking it, because in the back of my mind I felt like I was ruined.
“Please, don’t stop touching me,” I begged, my voice barely a whisper.
“Trust me, kitten, I never want to stop touching you,” he rumbled.
The doctor came in and cleared his throat.
Jared pulled away and I reached out for him.
“Hold on, kitten,” he crooned, grabbing a chair and positioning it beside my bed. He reached for my hand and intertwined our fingers.
The doctor glared at Jared. “Only family is allowed at this time.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Jared said, jaw set and I knew he was giving the doctor his steely eyed gaze.
The doctor huffed, obviously exhausted and not up for a fight. He gripped the end of the hospital bed tightly in his hands, like it was the only thing keeping him standing.
“Ms. Spencer, you’re a lucky lady.”
“I don’t call three bruised ribs and a broken wrist, lucky,” Jared growled.
The doctor narrowed his eyes on Jared. “Trust me, kid,” he sneered, “it could have been a lot worse. Ms. Spencer is lucky to be alive.”
“How long have I been here?” I asked.
The doctor looked at the clipboard attached to the end of the bed. “Only two hours, we kept you sedated to help with the pain. It wore off faster than it should have, though. Are you in any pain? I can get you something for it.”
“No,” I insisted, even though I was starting to ache. I had never been a pill-popper and had no plans to start now. I’d deal with the pain.
“Katy,” Jared said, sweetly, hesitantly brushing my hair from my face, “if you’re hurting, you should take something.”
“I’m fine, really,” I squeezed his hand.
The doctor straightened up. “You should be okay to release in the morning. In the meantime, if you need anything, just push that blue button next to your bed and one of the nurses will be here. I’m Dr. Michaels,” he came around to shake my hand.
I flinched and burrowed closer to Jared.
Jared told the doctor that I was just shaken up and then I heard the man’s steps as he left the room. The door closed behind him.
“You should go home,” I told Jared. As much as I wanted him to be here with me, I knew it wasn’t right for him to stay.
“I’m not going anywhere, kittycat. Don’t start, please,” his eyes darkened, daring me to kick him out.
“What about Karlie? She has school-”
“Shhhh, Katy. Don’t worry about that. Karlie’s shaken and I’m not letting her go in. I called Holden to pick her up and stay at my house with her. She’ll be fine,” he crooned.
“Can I see her? Before she leaves?” I asked. I needed to see with my own eyes that she was fine.
“Sure,” he released my hands. “Holden shouldn’t be here, yet, he said he’d text me when he got here. I’ll be right back.”
As the door closed automatically behind him, I suddenly felt very small and very alone. Part of me was afraid that he would never come back. I knew it was an irrational fear, but I was the kind of person that believed some things were too good to be true and I was convinced Jared was one of those things. In my mind, he was perfect, but deep down I knew that wasn’t the case, especially with as many times as he had alluded to his past. I know that no one is perfect, but Jared… he comes pretty darn close.
The door opened and a tear stained Karlie entered the room.
“Katy,” her voice cracked. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, sweetheart,” I said, wanting to comfort the girl that was hardly younger than me.
She let out a sob and came to stand beside me. “The- the car slammed into your side and there was nothing I could do. You were bleeding and- and- I thought you were dead,” she dissolved into tears. “I called 911 and everything happened to fast. I completely forgot to call Jared, until my phone started ringing non-stop and I saw that it was him. I was so scared, Katy.”
Jared pulled her into his arms and she gripped his shirt tightly in her fingers.
Her cries echoed through the small room.
Jared’s phone buzzed and he removed it from his pocket. “Holden’s on his way up.”
Karlie pulled away with a look of disgust. “Holden? You called Holden? Why didn’t you call mom and dad?” she questioned.
Jared sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “It’s late, Karls, I didn’t want them to worry. You’re safe, that’s what matters, but I knew they’d get upset.”
“I guess you’re right,” Karlie huffed. “I just wish you hadn’t called Holden. I’d rather someone else take me home… or even a taxi.”
“Well, a taxi driver isn’t going to stay at my house and babysit you,” Jared explained to her.
“What?” Karlie’s jaw dropped open. “Babysit me? You mean the prick isn’t dropping me off, he’s staying?”
“Watch your mouth, Karlie,” Jared growled. “Holden will just watch TV and you can go about your business.”
“But he’s so annoying,” she whined.
“This isn’t open for discussion, Karlie. I’m staying with Katy and Holden will stay with you until I get home tomorrow.”
“I understand,” Karlie sighed.
“Good,” Jared crossed his arms over his chest.
“Maybe, you should go home, Jared,” I croaked.
“Don’t start, Katy, I mean it. I’m staying here, with you. Karlie is just acting like a brat,” he smiled; lessening the blow those words might have had on his sister.
His phone buzzed again and Jared typed out something.
A minute later there was a small knock on the door and Holden opened the door.
“Hey,” he said to Jared. He gave me a small smile.
“Thanks for coming,” Jared said.
“You smell like cigarettes,” Karlie told Holden.
Holden’s blue eyes swiveled to survey her. He seemed relieved to find her in one piece.
“It’s nice to see you too, kiddo.”
Karlie rolled her eyes at him and then came over to me.
“I’m so happy you’re okay, Katy,” her lower lip started to tremble again. “I’ll see you soon, right?”
“Of course,” I said, my voice beyond hoarse.
She tried to smile at me, but failed. She hugged Jared and then brushed out the door.
“Keep an eye on her,” Jared warned Holden.
“You know I will,” Holden clapped Jared on the shoulder and followed Karlie out.
Jared came back to my side and sat down. “Do you need anything?” he asked. “Water? Ginger Ale? Medicine? Food?”
“Ice water would be heavenly,” I said.
“You got it,” his fingers brushed mine as he stood.
He returned with a white Styrofoam cup and a bendy straw.
I reached for the cup but he held it away from me.
“I’ve got it,” he said, positioning the straw near my mouth.
I clasped my lips around the end and the cool liquid hit my dry throat. In no time at all, I had managed to drink every last drop.
“Thank you,” I told Jared.
“Welcome,” he said, placing the empty cup on the tray beside the bed. “You should get some sleep.”
“I don’t know if I can,” I whispered.
“Are you hurting?” he asked, settling his tall frame into the too small chair.
I nodded.
“I’ll go get a nurse,” he said, and started to stand again.
I grabbed his hand, and mine zinged. “I hate medicine.”
“It will help you sleep, kitten,” his brown eyes assured me.
“Okay,” I said.
“I’ll be right back,” his lips brushed against my forehead with his words.
A nurse came in with a small, clear cup that held two white pills. In her other hand, she had a fresh cup of water. “This will make you feel better,” she smiled.
She waited until I took the pills to leave.
She brushed past Jared, who was standing there with a cup of coffee.
“Sorry, I would’ve been right back but I saw someone with a cup of coffee and had to get some for myself.”
“Not a problem,” I smiled. I could already feel the drugs hitting my system. My limbs were growing heavy and it was hard to keep my eyes open.
He chuckled. “I shouldn’t have bothered. It tastes like sludge,” he dropped the full cup into the trashcan.
I giggled. “Want some water?” I pointed to my second cup.
“I’m more of a Mountain Dew kind of guy,” he said. “Or Gatorade, that’s good too.”
“Your kidney’s must hate you,” I slurred as sleep threatened to take me.
Jared seemed to see this. “Go to sleep, Katy. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
I believed him, because in the end, I trusted him.
~***~
I blinked my eyes open and morning light greeted me.
No nightmares.
I hadn’t gone a single night without the nightmares since Preston raped me.
It must have been the drugs, or maybe, the man next to me had kept them away.
I looked down at Jared and knew he had to be uncomfortable. He was in the chair, with his arms and head resting on the bed, beside my legs. He was going to have a terrible crook in his neck, but he looked so peaceful, I almost hated to wake him.
Unfortunately, I really had to pee.
“Jared,” I pushed his shoulder lightly. He groaned in his sleep, but didn’t wake. “Jared,” I said a little louder and pushed a little harder.
“Huh? What?” he came sputtering awake. He blinked owlishly. “Are you okay? Do I need to get a nurse?”
“No, silly,” I said. “I need to pee, but you were holding down the covers and I couldn’t get out.”
“Oh,” he said, scooting back in his chair. “My bad.”
“It’s fine,” I said, sitting up in bed and wincing in pain.
“Katy!” he cried when he saw my wince.
“It’s just my ribs, they’re really sore,” I said, swinging my legs over the side of the bed.
I held my side as I slowly stood. Luckily, the nasty hospital gown was tied in the back.
I tiptoed the three feet or so I had to walk, into the bathroom. I closed the door and flicked on the light.
There was no mirror, probably so patients wouldn’t have to look at themselves.
I sat down on the toilet and said through the door, “Jared, can you step out for a second?”
“Why?” I heard him growl.
I blushed. “I can’t pee with you standing there, listening.”
“Oh,” he said. “I’ll give you a minute.”
“Thanks,” I said.
As soon as I knew he was gone, my bladder emptied itself.
I washed my hands and was crawling back into the bed when Jared opened the door.
“Feel better?” he asked with a crooked grin.
“Much,” I smiled.
“I talked to the nurse,” he said, stretching his stiff back, “and she said the doctor should be in, in the next twenty minutes to check on you. If everything looks okay, you can go home.”
“That sounds wonderful,” I fiddled with the scratchy blanket.
Jared plopped into the chair. “Katy…” he trailed off.
“Yeah?” I looked over at him.
He leaned back in the chair and seemed to be contemplating something. Finally, he said, “I want you to stay with me for awhile-”
I opened my mouth to argue, but he shushed me.
“You’re hurt, and it’s going to be hard for you to get around. Let me help you,” he pleaded, looking at me with round puppy dog eyes. He was not playing fair. I was putty in his hands when he looked at me like that.
“Jared I-”
“Please, Katy? The thought of you, alone, in that condo tears me up inside. All I’ll do is worry. Please, stay with me.”
I took a deep breath to center myself.
Honestly, the thought of having to hobble around at home, by myself, wasn’t appealing.
“Okay,” I whispered.
“Really?” his eyes lit up.
“Really,” I nodded. “I’ll just want to get some of my stuff.”
“Of course,” he replied with a grin.
His leg bobbed up and down as we waited for the doctor to make his rounds.
I wasn’t looking forward to the doctor showing up, because I knew that meant he’d touch me. I shuddered at the thought alone.
“What’s wrong?” Jared asked.
I knew there was no point in lying, not with Jared, so I said, “I don’t want the doctor to touch me.”
“Katy,” he leaned forward and cupped my cheek. “I’ll be right here with you. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“I know,” I whispered and meant it. Jared made me feel safe, nothing, no one else, especially a man, had made me feel since my rape.
When the doctor came, Jared comforted me by holding my hand. He would nod reassuringly at me, as the doctor looked me over, I locked my eyes on his and never looked away as the doctor poked and prodded me.
Jared centered me.
“Well,” the doctor said, taping my ribs back up, “everything looks good, I’ll get the discharge papers together and you should be out of here within the hour.”
“Great, thanks,” I said.
As soon as he was gone, I realized I didn’t have any clothes, and voiced this to Jared.
He chuckled. “You’ve got plenty of clothes. I don’t know how, but all the clothes you and Karlie bought, survived the crash unscathed.”
“Really?” I asked in disbelief.
“Yeah,” he chuckled. “They’re in my car, I’ll go grab a couple of bags and be right back.”
“Thank you,” I said, releasing his hand. “For everything that you’ve done.”
“I haven’t done nearly enough,” he murmured and pressed his lips to my forehead before he left.
I pressed my fingers to my forehead, where his lips had been just moments before, and a smile spread across my face.
I was totally screwed when it came to Jared, because the heart wants, what the heart wants, and my heart wanted Jared.