Pulling him into my hand, I pumped him, loving the feel of velvet over steel. His mouth popped free of my nipple so he could groan and slam his skull back against the seat’s headrest.
“Damn, that feels good.” He jerked his hips up, letting me know he wanted more. I squeezed harder and went faster. “Yes,” he hissed, bowing his head forward and straining. But just as quickly, he grabbed my hand and pulled me away. “Wait. I want to come inside you.”
Getting my pants off was quite a trick. We both fumbled clumsily, he cursed in frustration, and I had to throw my head back to laugh over the silliness of it. But as soon as they were out of the way and smacked against the driver’s side window, Noel grasped my hips and led my body where he needed me.
Since my legs draped over his, he spread his own knees as far as he could in the confines of the seat so he could in effect spread me apart. Then he yanked me down and impaled me. The shock of it caused me to gasp. The muscles inside me clenched around him, needing something to hold on to, to ground me to this moment so I couldn’t just float away.
“God damn.” His fingers bit into my hips and he yanked me up, only to jerk me back down. It was just as filling as his first thrust. I bit my lip and gripped his shoulders, hanging on for dear life. “I love this,” he panted. “I fucking love being inside you.” His breathing was rough and eyes hooded as he met my gaze. “You’re so gorgeous. Jesus, Aspen.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “Nothing should be this good. I don’t want it to end.”
The literature professor in me immediately had a Robert Frost moment. Nothing gold can stay. Well, Noel Gamble was the golden pot of happily ever after at the end of my rainbow. Did that make him my fleeting glimpse of joy? My gold that could not stay?
His fingers found my bare, flat stomach as if seeking our child. What if there was a baby in there? What if he’d planted a piece of forever inside me? A piece of our legacy could survive from generation to generation. Maybe our gold could stay.
My body turned to liquid fire as he took me straight to the peak without mercy, driving me straight over the edge and into ecstasy. We came together, kissing and touching, united in more ways than I could probably count. As I curled into him and he buried his face in my hair, holding me close, the only thing I could think was, Please don’t let this end yet. Just a little longer.
***
So, I peed on the stick.
After what had just happened in the car, my knees were already too wobbly to walk straight. Noel had always been an intense lover, but this time he’d left me rattled. But it must’ve affected him too because he didn’t want to stop touching me.
Once we’d found all our clothes and gotten decent enough to dash inside without being caught in flagrante delicto by the neighbors, he’d taken my hand and hadn’t let go. He wouldn’t even let me into the bathroom by myself, which was a bit too personal for me. I shooed him out. But as soon as I finished, he opened the door, popping his head inside, embarrassing the heck out of me because just knowing he’d listened to me was awkward.
“Anything yet?” he asked, stepping close and smoothing his hand down my arm as he glanced at the test strip.
I shook my head. We fell quiet, staring at the stick. Another thirty seconds passed and finally a line began to appear.
Noel squeezed my bicep. “Here we go.”
I held my breath, waiting, hoping. No second line appeared. My shoulders fell limp.
Noel lifted his gaze, his blue eyes probing. “This means it’s negative, right?”
I nodded, unable to speak a single word. My throat closed over, going instantly dry. I tried to clear it delicately, but it didn’t help.
“Well.” He blew out a long breath, stared at the wall over my shoulder, then raked his hand through his hair before setting it on his hip. “Shit.”
I lifted my face, surprised to hear him say that. Had he actually wanted it to be positive? Oh, my God. Had I? I’d been so hopeful. I thought negative was the result I’d been hoping for. But I felt so disappointed now that it was the result I’d gotten.
“I guess...I guess we just dodged a bullet there,” he said, only to wince and glance away.
Unable to handle knowing he’d wanted it as badly as I had, I pushed past him, escaping the bathroom. “Aspen? What...?”
I rushed down the hall, needing space. Everything inside me felt like it was going to come out. But once I reached the front room, I realized this wasn’t where I wanted to be. I wanted to be back in that car, on Noel’s lap, holding on tight to my chunk of gold.
Tears burned the backs of my eyes but I refused to cry. I sat blindly on the armrest of my couch and grabbed the back cushions for support. My throat squeezed shut; I probably should’ve gotten myself a drink, but I just sat there.
I felt as if I’d just lost a child, when in actuality I’d avoided a complete disaster.