“Damn it.” He came in close again, sinking his hands into my hair and cupping my head in his palms. “I could do nothing, Aspen. Do you even understand what that did to me? My hands are still tied, and I can’t do anything for you, while you can just blithely sacrifice your entire life for me? That’s not right. It’s not fair. Why didn’t you tell me what was going to happen? Some kind of warning—”
“I wanted to do this for you, Noel.” Laying my palm on his cheek, I let out a content sigh. It didn’t matter what kind of turmoil was going on around us, right here in his arms, I felt home.
“But why didn’t you tell me? And then after, why’d you leave without a word? Why didn’t you answer even one fucking text?”
“Contact with you after this might’ve alerted the university that it was your arm in the picture. I didn’t want that. Plus I thought we could use a little time apart, to clear our heads and look at everything from a fresh perspective.” When his eyes narrowed and he opened his mouth, I rushed to add, “And I was a coward. If I’d gotten in touch with you, I knew I would’ve been tempted to come back.”
“But you did come back.”
My smile was tremulous. “I guess your power of temptation was stronger than I thought. I just can’t stay away.”
A sob ripped from his throat. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled us flush together. This kiss was softer but just as greedy. “Is this it, then?” he asked, nipping at my jaw. “There’s nothing keeping us apart, so we can finally be together? Openly and permanently?”
I bit my lip, and he felt my hesitation. Lifting his head, he gazed at me. “Shit,” he whispered. “I really don’t like that look in your eyes.”
“I was offered a job,” I told him, “to teach at my university back home. Eight hundred miles away.”
The breath rushed from his lungs as he stared. Then he dropped his hands from my face and slowly backed away. “So, you’re leaving. And I can’t follow. Jesus Christ.” Gripping his head, he spun away from me. “How many times do you plan on breaking my heart?”
“No more, I hope.” Hugging my waist, I took a deep breath and took the biggest leap of my life. “Because I turned the job down.”
He whirled back, his gaze zipping to me. “You what?”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“What? Are you crazy?” He came back, gripping my arms. “You can’t turn this down, Aspen. What if you can’t find a teaching job nearby?”
I shrugged. “Then I won’t teach. I’ll do something else.”
“But you love to teach.”
This time, I nodded. “Yes, I do.”
With a growl, he pressed even closer. “Do I have to throttle you, woman? You are not sacrificing anything else for me.”
I just smiled. “Well, I’m not leaving you either. I may love to teach, but I love you more. Noel Gamble, my home is wherever you are, so I’m staying here.”
He whimpered, and his hands on me began to tremble. “You should go.” His voice was strained, but he kept urging, “I know you want the job, I can tell. You should take it.”
“I do want it,” I admitted. “But I don’t care. Like I said, I want you more.”
Shaking his head, he just kept staring at me. “You say that now. But...in a few years, when you’re trapped here because of me, you’ll resent me and everything I kept you from. I need you to follow your dreams, Aspen.”
“I am following my dream, Noel. Trust me. All I’ve ever wanted is to be loved.”
“God help me.” He shuddered and I watched some of his resistance crack. “I do love you. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you, but—”
“But that’s all I need,” I reassured him. Touching his face lightly, I repeated, “Believe me, I can get a job anywhere. It doesn’t have to be at the university or even community college level. I just like trying to fill people with the same appreciation of literature that I have. I will find work wherever I am. But I won’t find another you. I don’t want to leave you.”
He folded. His shoulders fell and his body slumped into mine as his lips caught my temple. “I don’t want you to leave either.”
“Then it’s settled. We’re all staying.”
Noel kissed me again. “I love you. I love you so much. I don’t know how I could ever prove to you how much I love you.”
He’d already proven it. No one had ever loved me the way he did. With every word and gesture, he showed me his feelings, and I relished each and every moment with him. He’d taught me what it was to love and be loved. He’d unleashed my inner child and helped me live in the moment. But he’d also given me a future to look forward to. It might be uncertain, but I couldn’t wait to start it. With him.
I knew he’d tell me about what had happened with his siblings while I was away, just as I’d tell him about my parents. We had a lot to discuss, but I had a feeling we’d have plenty of time to talk about all that.
Later.
For now, I was too excited to know we’d actually have a later. So, I kissed him back and relished the present.
EPILOGUE
“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.” - Dr. Seuss
ASPEN