The Search The Secrets of Crittenden Cou

Chapter 20




“Finding Perry Borntrager’s body wasn’t the worst thing to happen to me. Dreaming about it every single night is.”

ABBY ANDERSON




When Frannie spied the pain etched in Chris Ellis’s face, she rushed to his side to be of help. “Come sit down, Chris,” she said gently. “I’ll bring you a glass of water and a cold compress for your eye.”

“He needs a steak or something for that shiner,” Luke said. “But I’ll take care of that in a little bit.” As his gaze rested on her, he frowned. “Frannie, you should sit down, too.”

There was no way she was going to have other people wait on her in her own home. “I’m perfectly fine. Beth’s been waiting on me hand and foot from the moment I got home.”

“No, I’ve been trying to do that,” Beth corrected. “And you still aren’t taking it easy. If you’re not careful, I’m going to tell the doctor that you should’ve stayed in the hospital longer.”

Ignoring Beth’s jibe and Luke’s watchful eye, she walked toward the kitchen. “I’ll be right back with that water, Chris.”

Just as she was at the sink, filling a mason jar with ice and water, she heard Luke begin his questioning.

“I’d guess you got that black eye recently?” Luke asked.

“No wonder you’re a big city detective,” Chris replied sarcastically. “You obviously don’t miss a thing.”

“Watch your mouth,” Luke warned. “Just tell me what happened.”

“I don’t answer to you, Reynolds.” A chair scraped the wood floor.

“Chris, have a care, now. Don’t stand up!” Beth called out.

“Beth, I’m fine.”

“Yeah, right,” Luke scoffed.

Frannie grimaced. Uh-oh. It was becoming obvious that the conversation wasn’t going to get much smoother. Putting aside her intention to wrap up some ice in a dishtowel for Chris’s face, Frannie hurried back and attempted to ease the tension in the room.

“Luke, perhaps you could wait a bit to ask your questions? He is hurt, you know.”

“I don’t think so.”

Fixing a glare on Luke, she took her guest’s arm and guided him across the room. Of course he didn’t need any help, but his expression looked so guarded, she didn’t want him to think he was all alone. “Here, Chris. Please sit, wouldja?”

But to her surprise, he glanced at Beth. For the first time, his eyes turned tender.

“Please,” she whispered.

“Fine.” Chris sat down gingerly.

Worried, Frannie turned Beth’s way. Had Chris been injured in all sorts of other places besides his face? “Do you need to go see the doctor? We could take you. I mean, Luke could.”

“I don’t need the doctor.”

“Chris, what happened?” Luke asked, this time obviously tempering his voice.

As Chris sipped the water, Frannie felt the tension in the room rise. All of them wanted to know the truth, but it didn’t seem as if Chris felt his pains were any of their business.

After draining almost half the glass, he set it down carefully on one of the coasters and then straightened up with a sigh. “I guess I’m not going to get out of telling you all my story, am I?”

“Nope,” said Luke.

“We are only trying to help you, Chris,” Beth added.

Chris’s jaw tightened. “All right. Here’s the deal. I work for the DEA.”

That meant nothing to Frannie. She’d heard Luke explain the letters, but she’d already forgotten what they stood for. Warily, she met Beth’s eye. Beth shrugged, too. Only Luke seemed to find the statement interesting.

“Do you have any identification?”

“It’s up in my room. You’re welcome to go through my papers. But do you really think I’d make that up?”

“Probably not.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t remember what a DEA is,” Frannie said.

“Drug Enforcement Agency,” Chris explained. “I was asked to go undercover here in Crittenden County.”

“You came here, looking for drugs?”

“For drug dealers.” Chris exhaled. “There’s a lot that’s going on, but suffice it to say that Perry Borntrager’s death has caused quite a disturbance in a lot of circles. We’ve got some informants who say he was the middleman between St. Louis and this area. When he died, the people above him on the food chain got desperate.”

“So that’s where you come in?” Luke prodded.

Chris nodded. “We were hoping his suppliers would be so desperate that they’d accept me fairly easily.” Fingering the sunglasses in his hands, Chris added, “I even said the reason sales were slow was because there were more police in the area than usual.”

Luke grimaced. “So let me guess—they picked you up to show you just how unhappy they were with you.”

Chris nodded as he shifted, then winced. “Pretty much.”

Gesturing around the cozy living room with the overstuffed floral couch, Luke said, “I don’t understand why you would stay here and not someplace more private.”

“I thought it might be a good place to start out. Everyone knows that the Yellow Bird Inn doesn’t get a lot of customers. I thought I could pretty much come and go as I wanted, unobserved.” With a sardonic direction Beth’s way, he said, “I thought I was pretty much under the radar, too . . . until Beth here showed up.”

Across from Frannie, Beth gulped. “Me?”

Chris smiled wryly. “Yep. You asked more questions about my business than Frannie did.”

“I don’t know whether I should be embarrassed about that or not,” Frannie said. “After Luke said I was too nosy, I decided to give my guests more privacy.”

“I shouldn’t have been so rude,” Luke murmured. “You were fine.”

Frannie gazed at Luke and felt her heart skip a beat. It seemed to her like there was much more meaning in his words than what he was saying out loud.

Oblivious to the new tension rising between her and Luke, Beth spoke again. “Now I’m embarrassed. Oh, Chris. My questioning didn’t cause the men to come find you, did they?”

Right before their eyes, Chris’s gaze softened. “Not at all. You reached out to me when I needed a friend. I’m grateful for that.”

Frannie looked from Chris to Beth to Chris again. Beth looked like it was taking everything she had not to jump from her chair and perch at Chris’s side. And Chris? Well, he truly looked ready to shield her from the worst news about his abduction.

With a heap of satisfaction, Frannie realized that her earlier suspicions had definitely been on the mark. A connection had sprung up between these two while she’d been sitting in her beige room at the hospital.

Luke looked even more alert. “What are your plans now?”

“Now that I’ve been beaten up?” he asked wryly. “Now I need to check out of here and report in to my supervisors in Chicago. We’ll wait a few days to see if I can continue what I’m doing, or if I need to head out.” He stood up with a wince. “But first I better go lie down.”

Just as Frannie was about to volunteer Luke to take him to the doctor or offer some more bags of ice, Beth rushed forward. “I’ll help you up the stairs.”

“Thanks.”

Luke stood up, too. “I’ll leave my card with Frannie. I’d love to talk more with you. Maybe some of your leads could be the break in my case.”

“Will do,” Chris said, then turned and walked slowly upstairs with Beth by his side.

When the two of them were out of sight, Frannie turned to Luke. “Wonders never cease! Never would I have imagined I would be housing such a man. I feel like I’m in the middle of a spy novel.”

Luke ran a hand through his hair. “You shouldn’t be more shocked than me. I thought I knew a lot about Perry’s case but Chris just showed me I know next to nothing. I’m going to have to talk to Mose again. I thought he was keeping me informed about everything, but that obviously isn’t the case.”

“Maybe he didn’t know about Chris and his DEA job, either?”

Staring at the empty stairway, Luke’s expression darkened. “Mose knew. He must have. He knew and he decided not to tell me.”

“Try not to be so upset. Maybe there’s a good reason?”

Turning to her, his posture relaxed. “Yet again, I’m finding that there’s more going on under the surface of Crittenden County than appears at first glance.”

The small smile he sent her way made the rest of the day’s aches and pains fade away to something manageable. She felt her heartbeat quicken as a new awareness passed between them.

Nothing about her and Luke made sense. But perhaps there was a reason they’d been thrown together for such a dark time?

As the silence between them grew heavy, Frannie gathered her courage and touched his hand again. “So, Luke, did you come over to make sure I was resting? ”

He blinked, looking taken off guard by her question. For a moment, she felt sure he was going to turn his hand and enfold hers in his own.

But then, with a small shake of his head, he replied. “No. Actually, I came over here to speak to you.”

“Oh?” Perhaps he, too, had realized that there was something special between them! If he took a chance and told her his feelings, Frannie felt sure that she could gain the courage to share her feelings, too. “Did you want to speak about anything special? We’re alone now, so we have some privacy.”

“Frannie, I . . . I feel a lot of the same things you do. I do care for you. But now isn’t the time to talk about that.”

“It can be.” Oh, she couldn’t believe she was being so bold!

With a look of real regret, he shook his head. “Frannie, I want to know about the sunglasses.”

Once again, his voice was hard and cool. All business.

Frannie was struck dumb. She had completely misread the signals and let her dreamy nature get the best of her.

In spite of his handsomeness and the way he’d seemed to care for her in the hospital, he really was Detective Luke Reynolds. The police officer visiting with only one goal in mind—to catch Perry’s killer.

Attempting to cover up her disappointment, she tried to play dumb. “Sunglasses?”

“The ones in the field. The sunglasses that Perry wore. The ones that have your fingerprints on them.” With his voice cold and clipped, he said, “Frannie, I cannot even believe you’ve been keeping those sunglasses a secret.”

He couldn’t believe? Her temper flared. “You make it sound like I didn’t tell you about them on purpose. As if I was trying to stop you from solving Perry’s murder. But it wasn’t like that at all.”

“Then how was it?”

“I didn’t mention them because I didn’t think they were important.” But of course that wasn’t the whole truth. She hadn’t told him because she’d feared they had meant something important to the investigation.

“You were wrong.”

She bit her bottom lip. Didn’t know what to say. Because, well, there really wasn’t anything to say.

“You shouldn’t have kept information from me, Frannie. It really was a mistake to do that.” His look was solemn, his words laced with disappointment.

Her mouth went dry. And that was when she realized that nothing she imagined was ever going to happen between her and Luke.

Because no matter how hard she tried, everything in her life always came back to Perry.

Glad to be of help, Beth wrapped an arm around Chris’s waist and helped him walk up the stairs to his room.

“You don’t have to do this,” he said.

“Nonsense. I’m stronger than I look. Now, come take a few more steps, if you will.”

Looking weak and sore, and like he was hiding a hundred hurts, he continued. With each step he climbed, his pace had become slower and more hesitant.

After another six or seven steps, he stopped to catch his breath. “Beth, this probably isn’t a good idea . . .”

“Don’t make this into something it isn’t. All I’m doing is helping you to your room.”

He frowned at her logic, but didn’t say another word. Instead, he continued his journey, taking a full five minutes to do something that usually only took a minute or two.

By the time he unlocked his door and reached his bed, the skin around his mouth had whitened with the strain. So much so, he hardly did more than bat a hand at her when she knelt down and unlaced his boots, then pulled them off.

Yet again, he tried to push her away. “I’m fine.”

“Shush. Now sit still and let me help you with your boots.”

As she placed her hands on his boot and pulled hard, he almost smiled. “Careful. These boots are smelly. Feet are, too.”

“I imagine I’ll survive.” She tugged off one, then with a grunt, tugged off the other steel-toed Timberland.

He gave a noise that sounded like a half-grimace, half-chuckle. “Looks like you have plenty of experience pulling off boots.”

“You have no idea how squirrely four-year-olds are in the winter,” she said as she carefully placed his boots in the corner of his room. “I’ve helped put on and take off more boots than you can ever imagine.”

“That’s to my benefit.” He lay down with a sigh.

He looked so pained, she stepped to his side.

“Don’t worry.” He turned his cheek to the down pillow. “You need to get out of here, Beth. It’s not right for you to be alone in here with me.”

Though she’d been aware of that, she flushed, not liking his tone. It sounded as if he was talking to a silly teenager. She was definitely not that. “I’m not some innocent young girl, Chris. Just because I’m Amish, it don’t mean I’m skittish.”

His ice blue eyes warmed on her before flickering away. “No one would ever accuse you of being skittish. You’re a brave woman.”

At the moment, she felt as far away from being brave as she did from the moon. “Don’t tease.”

“I’m not teasing. Actually, I’m pretty darn impressed with your breaking and entering abilities. If you weren’t a sweet Amish girl, why, there’s no telling what kind of cop you could make.”

Secretly, Beth thought the same thing. Oh, not about being a police officer, but oftentimes she, too, thought she could have done a great many things in the outside world.

If that had been her calling.

His eyes were at half-mast now. “You better go. I’m about to fall asleep. I didn’t get much rest last night.”

“They didn’t let you sleep?”

One side of his mouth turned up. “I’m afraid not, Beth. I wasn’t there as their guest.”

Embarrassed by her naiveté, she straightened and moved away from him. Though she ached to ask him exactly what happened, ached to discover how hurt he truly was, she knew he would never tell her. It was none of her business.

Realizing she’d stood too long at his side simply gazing at him and wishing that things were different, she clasped her hands together. “All right, then. I’ll go now and let you rest. I’ll see you when you wake up. Perhaps then you would like some soup? I can keep it warm for you.”

That half-smile appeared again. “Look at you, Beth. You really are turning into quite the innkeeper.”

“All I’m doing is offering soup, and anyone can open up a jar. Frannie canned at least two dozen jars of chicken noodle soup this past summer. It’s good, I promise, and it will be sure to make you feel better.”

For a moment, something soft and sweet appeared in his eyes. Then he shook his head. “I won’t be able to stay for soup, Beth.”

“Pardon me?” Surely she’d heard him wrong?

With a wince, he moved and pulled himself up to a sitting position. Looked at her directly. “Beth, in a few hours, I’ll be gone. The only reason I haven’t left yet is because my partner wants to pick me up. There’s a lot that needs to be done and I’m going to need some support.”

“You’re not going to stop and rest? Chris, you’re hurt.”

“I can’t, Beth. It’s important that I do my job.”

She could understand that. Though it wasn’t quite the same, she’d watched children even when she was tired or under the weather.

He winked. “And before you give me any advice, you should know my partner doesn’t put up with much foolishness. If she doesn’t think I can work by her side, she’ll let me know.”

Her? “Your partner? She is a girl?”

“A woman, not a girl,” he replied with a wry grin. “Taylor would have my head if she heard I was referring to her as a girl.”

Beth couldn’t begin to understand the innuendo. “But you are hurt, Chris.”

“Not too bad.” He sobered. “But even if I was, it’s clear that I can’t stay here in Crittenden County any longer.”

“Why not? Surely a day or two won’t make a difference.”

“It’s going to make all the difference. It’s not safe for me or anyone here. I got the names of the men Perry reported to, and some of the details about their base of operations. But doing so cost a lot to the investigation.” His eyes turned haunted when he exhaled, then spoke again. “It’s almost a certainty that my cover is blown.”

“But where will you go?” At the moment, she didn’t care about her safety, only about his.

And perhaps about something else, too. There was something about him that had her heart and she wasn’t ready to either analyze it or to let him go. All she wanted was to enjoy his company just a little bit longer.

“I’ll head on home for a little bit. Then I’ll get reassigned.” Lying back down, he added, “That’s the usual thing that happens.”

“Where is your home? I don’t even know.”

Instead of answering her, he merely stared at her. Silently begging her not to ask anything else.

Though she knew he was only doing what his job required of him. Though she knew he was keeping a careful distance between them, as was proper, she felt betrayed. Just yesterday, she’d thought there had been something special between them. “But Chris—”

“It’s what has to happen, Beth.” He paused, then said, almost grudgingly, “You had to know that there could never be anything between us. It wasn’t possible.”

Instead of making her feel worse—knowing he, too, had felt their curious connection—his words made her feel braver. “Where is home? You never told me.”

“I know.”

After a moment, she realized he wasn’t going to tell her. He wasn’t going to tell her more about himself, or about his past. He wasn’t going to let her get to know him better.

Carefully, she gazed at him, trying to catalog every scar and mark and detail of him into her memory. “Is Chris even your real name?”

He swallowed. “Yeah. Chris is.”

But he didn’t say that his last name really was Ellis.

“I’m sorry, Beth. I know you don’t understand any of this. But I promise I didn’t intend to hurt you. I tried to stay away from you.”

“Is that what you usually do? Stay to yourself? Stay private?”

“It’s easier that way.” He lay back down with a wince. And Beth knew he wasn’t going to be able to continue their conversation much longer. He was in pain and exhausted.

And her questions and worry weren’t helping him. If anything, she was making things worse.

But sometimes a woman’s heart and brain didn’t work in sync. “Chris, do you think I’ll ever see you again? Do you think we’ll ever talk again?” Even as she heard the whine, the desperation in her voice, she felt a true despair. She hated sounding so weak.

But even more than that, she hated feeling . . . abandoned. And at a loss of what to do.

He took a breath. Seemed to hold it. Then exhaled with another direct stare. “No.”

He paused, then, seeming to have lost a battle with himself. “Listen, for what it’s worth . . . you matter to me. I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t feel anything for you. I do. I think you’re just about the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen. And I admire your loyalty to your friend. But . . .”

“But I’m Amish and you’re not?”

“Partly. But it’s also because of who I am. I’m not a suitable boyfriend for any woman right now, no matter what her religion is or how her life is. I’ve come to accept it. I live my life undercover. I carry a gun . . . and I’ve used it, Beth. I’m not all that good of a man. I’m definitely not the kind of man you deserve.”

“That’s not true. Those men, they hurt you because you are trying to do something good.”

“I’m trying to do a good thing in a very bad business,” he corrected. “Believe me, there’s a difference.”

“Chris—”

He cut her off. “You take care, okay, Beth? Take care of yourself and find a decent man who will appreciate you. Find a guy who will let you be spunky and order him around a little bit.”

She was so hurt, she spoke without thinking. “But . . . but I don’t want that guy.”

Mirth and a warmth that she’d never spied before lit his expression. “I’m really going to miss you.” And then, right before her eyes, he lay back down and closed his eyes.

Effectively removing himself.

Even though she still stood there, stunned.

When she realized he wasn’t going to speak to her again . . . or even look her way, she turned and walked out. Closing a door had never felt so hard.

But she didn’t get very far. Only two steps. Her mind was spinning and her feet felt like lead. She stood against the wall and tried not to cry.

Tried not to care.

But when she heard Chris walk to the door and lock it, she knew that everything he said was right.

Everything that had been between them was over. Over before it had ever begun.