The Scottish Banker of Surabaya

( 25 )

Ava knew she should eat but she wasn’t the least bit hungry. Her body was numb, her mind falling back into the depression she’d felt after her run. The meeting with Perkasa had brought Andy Cameron front and centre, and she couldn’t control the thoughts that washed over her.

She made an instant coffee and sat at the window, looking out on gardens that were familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. The street fronting the hotel was busy now, and Ava tried to focus on watching people going about their everyday lives. It was a wasted effort. Cameron intruded. Ava pushed him aside, willing herself to think about what lay ahead. It worked for a few minutes but then he was back — an image of him walking down a golf course sharing a joke with his buddies, telling them about the good piece of ass he’d had the night before.

Ava got up from her chair and looked aimlessly around the room. I should have changed hotels, she thought. The idea occupied her for a moment, until she realized she didn’t have the energy to pack and move. What am I going to do to fill this afternoon? she thought, almost in a panic.

Her room phone rang and she stared at it. She didn’t answer, and a few seconds later the red message light began to blink. I should find out who called, she thought, but then her cellphone came alive.

“Ava Lee,” she said.

“Ava, this is Fay.”

“Hey, Fay.”

“Where are you?”

“In my room.”

“You changed rooms. They told me when I called in.”

“Yes, I did.”

Fay paused as if waiting for an explanation. When none came, she said, “And you didn’t answer your room phone just now.”

“I was in the washroom.”

“Ava, are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I am. Why do you ask?”

“Because I’m concerned.”

“You have no reason to be.”

Fay said, “I don’t want to be indiscreet, but my sister Vivian called me about an hour ago. She said she visited you at the hotel this morning and that you were not well. She suggested I look in on you.”

“It isn’t you being indiscreet, it’s your sister,” Ava said sharply.

“Ava, please, it isn’t like that. My sister has a big heart. She’s worried about you, that’s all. She didn’t share any of your medical details with me, if that is what’s bothering you.”

“Look, I’m fine. I was a bit nauseated earlier, nothing more. I probably shouldn’t have called her.”

“Well, then, if you’re fine, would you like to do something this afternoon?”

“Fay, I’m not sure I’m in the mood for going out.”

“I’m already downstairs in the lobby and my car is idling at the front door. C’mon, it will take your mind off your troubles.”

Ava looked around the room. Anything had to be better than staying there. “I have a meeting at six, so I’ll have to be back here by at least a quarter to.”

“Not a problem. We don’t have to go far.”

What the hell, Ava thought. “I’ll be down in a few minutes,” she said.

Fay hovered by the hotel’s front door. In knee-length pink shorts, a plain white T-shirt, and no makeup, she looked barely out of her teens. She held her arms out to Ava as she crossed the lobby. They hugged. “You look so pale,” Fay said.

“Some air will probably do me good,” said Ava.

They slid into the Audi, the air conditioning going full blast. “Where to? Do you want to eat? See some more sights? Shop?”

“I wouldn’t mind going back to Chinatown,” Ava said.

Fay made a right turn out of the hotel driveway, drove for about a hundred metres, and then did a U-turn at a gap in the concrete divider that separated the lanes. They hadn’t gone more than another hundred metres before they heard a siren. Ava glanced back and saw a policeman on a motorbike bearing down on them.

Fay pulled over to the curb, shaking her head. He parked his bike in front of their car and walked towards them. He was short and pudgy, a look accentuated by a tight grey shirt and black jodhpurs. Fay rolled down her window and then reached into the compartment between the two front seats and pulled out a piece of paper. He began waving his finger the moment he got to the window. Fay spoke to him in Indonesian and handed him the paper. He read it and then lowered his head. She took back the paper and handed him a ten-thousand-rupiah banknote. The policeman took the bill and then spoke rapidly to her in Indonesian, pointing in the direction they were going. Fay shook her head.

“What was that about?” Ava asked when he had left.

“I made an illegal U-turn.”

“So I gathered, but the rest of it? The only word I understood was Allah.”

Fay laughed. “My piece of paper says I am a special friend of the police department and to be granted every consideration. I gave him ten thousand rupiah — that’s about one U.S. dollar — to apologize for inconveniencing him. He thanked Allah for my generosity and asked if we wanted him to give us a police escort to wherever we were going.”

“How civilized,” Ava said.

“Yes, for those of us who warrant that kind of treatment. Not everyone is so fortunate.”

Traffic was heavier than it had been the day before, but Fay made it seem more obvious than was needed that she was concentrating on the road. She wants to ask me about Cameron, Ava thought, a bland reply forming in her mind.

“So, Ava, how did you find my sister?” Fay said, glancing slightly sideways.

“She’s wonderful,” Ava said, pleased at the reprieve.

“I know, and it hasn’t always been easy for her.”

“Why is that?”

“Well, she’s the oldest of four sisters — there’s twelve years between me and her. My parents were harder on her than the rest of us. Their expectations were very high.”

“She’s a doctor. They must be pleased about that.”

“Of course, and in this country that’s no small feat.”

Ava saw a sign written in Chinese characters. They were only three kilometres away from Chinatown. “Does Vivian have children?”

“She’s never married.”

“That couldn’t have pleased your parents.”

“It’s less of an issue than the fact that she’s a lesbian.”

Ava didn’t think she had overtly reacted until Fay said, “Don’t look so shocked. I’m surprised you couldn’t tell.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I mean, you didn’t think she looked like one?”

“It never occurred to me. And tell me, what is a lesbian supposed to look like anyway?”

“A bit masculine, wouldn’t you say? It was worse a few years ago, when she wore her hair shorter. My parents wouldn’t be seen in public with her then. It didn’t bother my sisters or me — God knows we love her — but my parents found it very difficult.”

They reached the outskirts of Chinatown. Fay parked the car in a no-stopping zone and put her piece of paper on the windshield. “We’ll walk from here,” she said. “Is there anything in particular you’d like to see or do?”

The sidewalks were crowded but the women were able to walk side by side. “I’d like to go to the temple again,” Ava said.

“I’d like that too,” said Fay, reaching for Ava’s hand. She held it as they walked, as women friends did in many parts of Asia, Ava knew.

It was hot, the sun naked in the sky, and they kept close to the buildings, grateful for whatever shade they cast. They passed a variety of stores, their names written in both Chinese and Indonesian; Ava wondered if the translations were more accurate than they were in Canada.

When they reached Kong Co Kong Tik Cun Ong, they had to stop. People were thronging around the entrance, blocking passage. “They’re mainly onlookers,” Fay said, tugging Ava to the right. They hugged the wall, inching forward until they reached the courtyard.

Ava bought six joss sticks, an orange, and a mango. She went to the Taoist altar and placed the fruit at its base. She put the smouldering sticks between her palms, her fingers pointing upwards, bowed her head, and began to pray. She asked for good health and peace in the lives of her mother, Marian, her nieces, Mimi, and Mimi’s unborn child. She prayed for Uncle, that his life continue free of illness, free of worry, until he had no desire to continue.

And then Ava prayed for herself.

She knew she could not forgive. She would have her revenge, she confessed, an eye for an eye. And when that was done, she asked for the strength to let go, to accept what had happened to her, to start the process of forgetting. She needed Tao’s harmony and balance, but first she had to purge. Help me get through to the other side, she prayed. Unlike the day before, she shed no tears.

Fay waited for her near the wall. “Me praying twice in two days — my grandfather must be proud,” she said.

“I’d glad we came here. Thank you for coming to the hotel,” Ava said.

“My pleasure. Now what?”

“I’m famished.”

“Chinese food?”

“What else? We are in Chinatown.”

“There’s a seafood restaurant close by that my grandfather used to take me to.”

“I would like to go there.”

“Perfect,” Fay said, reaching for Ava’s hand again and guiding her back through the alleys.

The restaurant was between the lunch and dinner crowds, so they had their pick of tables. Fay chose one that gave them a view of the street. “Is there anything special you would like?” she asked.

“Order what your grandfather liked.”

“Yes, that’s a wonderful idea.”

It wasn’t until they were halfway through a plate of fried noodles with shrimp and squid, served with a thick, salty soy sauce that Fay called kecap asin, and a platter of curried crab, the curry blended with lemongrass, cilantro, and red-hot green chilis, that Fay mentioned Cameron. “Did he get you home safely?”

“Of course.”

“And Andy behaved himself?”

Ava sucked the roe from the inside of a crab shell, her attention on the food. “About as much as you would expect,” she said.

Fay began to ask another question but Ava interrupted. “Tell me about Vivian. How long has it been since she’s come out?”

“Out? She has never been out. What made you think that?”

“Well, earlier —”

“That’s just family business,” Fay said quickly. “We’re the only ones in Surabaya who actually know, and it’s something we keep tightly inside the family.”

“I won’t discuss it with anyone.”

“I wasn’t suggesting you would. It’s just that this city is so parochial, so bigoted about people like Vivian, that it’s best for all concerned for the family to be discreet. About once a month Vivian goes to Jakarta for a weekend or maybe flies to Hong Kong or Manila, and what she gets up to no one asks.”

“Isn’t that a little backward?”

Fay shrugged. “Maybe for our generation, but it’s difficult for my parents. They can’t imagine a woman not needing a man, and they can’t imagine a woman not being completely subservient to a man. That’s why men like Andy Cameron revel in this culture. In their own countries they need to work at getting a woman. Here, all it takes is the right look and some poor girl who’s been brainwashed into thinking she’s subservient. After a while it becomes expected on the part of the man, and any pretence he used to have about actually wooing a woman disappears. When you hear the way they speak to women, it’s enough to make you throw up. I can imagine Cameron saying ‘on your back’ to a woman the same way he’d say ‘roll over’ to a dog.”

“I don’t want to talk about or hear about Andy Cameron,” Ava said quietly. “It’s enough to say that I won’t be seeing him again, and that our company will not be doing business with his bank.”

“So he did try something?” Fay asked, with more interest than Ava thought polite.

“Nothing I couldn’t handle.”

“I did try to warn you.”

“And thank goodness you did,” Ava said, putting down a crab leg. “This food is excellent, but I seem to have lost my appetite.”

The waiter had just brought the bill to the table when Perkasa called her cell. “Waru and his brother are here already,” he said. “Where shall we meet?”

“Are you in the lobby?”

“Yeah.”

“Can you find a corner where we can talk privately?”

“I’m in one now.”

“Stay there. I’ll be about fifteen to twenty minutes.”

“Who was that?” Fay asked when Ava hung up.

Ava knew her end of the conversation must have sounded strange. “One of my associates from Hong Kong has flown over to assist with this project. We’re going to meet and then have dinner.”

“That’s too bad. John was hoping we could eat together again tonight.”

“Give him my apologies.”