The Remembered

Chapter Thirteen

Lambley, England

August 1438



Thomas drew short, quick breaths as he ran and hurried along the road toward Elizabeth's uncle's cottage. He was in no condition to be hurrying in the manner that he was, especially on a warm August morning. But he was on the most important mission of his life and there was no time to waste. Elizabeth's waters had broken that morning as she struggled up the stairs. Labor pains had also hit her quite suddenly and she had dropped to her knees. Fortunately, she was able to catch herself and avoid a fall. Thomas had helped her back into bed and left right away to get her mother. Thomas hated to leave her as he did, but he had no idea how to deliver a baby.

As he hurried along, he thought about the changes in his and Elizabeth's lives in the last several months.

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One day in early July as he was helping a customer in the bakery, Elizabeth came slowly down the stairs and the customer had noticed that she was picking her way very carefully.

'Elizabeth, me luv,' said the customer, 'when is that baby due to be born? You luk like you are going to deliver todee.'

Elizabeth held her stomach with both hands and smiled, 'Nay, I will nay 'ave this baby todee. She must stay inseed longer still.'

'e,' replied Thomas with a smile. Elizabeth and the customer looked at him with a puzzled look. 'You said 'she', boot it is a boy,' Thomas assured them.

Elizabeth smiled and offered to help the next customer. Thomas enjoyed having Elizabeth working beside him in the bakery. For years he had worked alone, but now it was wonderful to have someone to talk to and someone to help with the baking. But, making it more wonderful still, his partner was his wife. He loved watching her serve the customers. She was so friendly and she easily endeared customers to her. He had noticed that business had picked up since she was with him.

Thomas came up behind her, wrapped his arms around Elizabeth and said, 'Me luv, I must take sume wheat to the miller. Will you be okay while I am gone?'

'Aye, me luv,' replied Elizabeth as she turned around in his arms and hugged him around the neck. 'I will be fine.'

Thomas left the bakery with a load of wheat in the wagon and started toward the miller's. As he walked beside the ox, he started thinking about Elizabeth and the comments by the customer. 'If Elizabeth gets much bigger, I will nay be able to wrap me arms around 'er. The baby must be very large indeed.' As he thought about the comment that the customer made though, he became more troubled. He remembered that he knew nothing of Elizabeth prior to the short while before they married. 'Who was she really?' he wondered, and, 'Culd this baby possibly nay be me own?' 'Did I marry in haste?'

The thoughts troubled him greatly and he couldn't rid himself of them. When he returned from the miller's, Elizabeth noticed a change in his mood. His mood was dark and unhappy. That was not like him. Elizabeth approached him from behind and put her arms around him.

'Whot is it, me luv? You do nay seem 'appy,' said Elizabeth.

Thomas pulled away from her and walked to an oven to put more wood inside. Elizabeth was sure that he had done so to get away from her embrace and it troubled her. She remembered no so long before when she still recoiled from his touch and now she felt rejected. The rejection pained her and caused her to consider the pain that she must have once caused Thomas.

'It is nuthing, I am fine,' replied Thomas without looking at her.

'You do nay seem fine, me luv,' Elizabeth patiently replied.

Thomas went about his work without speaking, a customer came into the shoppe and Elizabeth went to help her.

They didn't speak the rest of the day or the next day. Elizabeth noticed also that Thomas was no longer touching her and it hurt her deeply. For the first time in months, she found herself thinking of Richard and it troubled her. 'Why am I thinking of a deed man?' she thought to herself, 'Thomas is me 'usband.' The thoughts of Richard troubled her and she started to withdraw from Thomas.

Elizabeth didn't know what to do. She knew that she didn't want to speak with her mother about it, and she really had no close friends outside of Thomas. 'Besides,' she thought, 'it wuld nay be right to speak with a friend aboot me troubles with me 'usband.' So, she did the only other thing that she could think of, she went to the church to pray.

When she left the bakery without telling Thomas where she was going, he became suspicious. She had always told him where she was going before. After she left, he quickly closed the shoppe and followed her. It didn't take long for him to realize where she was going. After she entered the church, he crept into the back and watched as she knelt to pray. He then felt guilty for thinking ill of her for this secret errand and he quietly left the church and returned to the shoppe.

As Elizabeth knelt in the church, she felt that she hadn't been as good a wife as she should have been. The struggles of a pregnancy had distracted her. She felt guilty for thinking of Richard.

'Dear God,' she prayed, 'please forgive me for thinking of sumeone other than me 'usband. Please grant me the power to luv Thomas despite his un'appiness. 'e is a gud man. 'e works 'ard and cares for me well. I know that 'e will be a gud father. Please sof'en 'is 'eart and lift 'is mood. I made a promise to Thomas and a promise to you. 'elp me to keep it. Amen'

Thomas noticed that Elizabeth smiled at him when she walked back into the shoppe, but he didn't respond. He felt horrible inside for the way that he was treating her, but he couldn't change his mood and the thought that she may have been unfaithful persisted to haunt him.

The next day, Thomas decided that he needed to speak with someone, but who? Elizabeth's uncle was his best friend, but he couldn't speak with him on this subject. 'Maybe I shuld see the priest,' he thought. 'Nay, I do nay want 'im to think ill of Elizabeth.' Then he determined that he would seek the counsel of the priest in the next village, whom he didn't know.

Thomas told Elizabeth that he needed to purchase some additional wheat and hitched the ox to the wagon. She thought that this was odd, since they seemed to have plenty of wheat, but since this was the first he had spoken in days, she accepted it with a nod and quick smile.

Thomas found the priest in the next village working in his garden.

'Oy,' he greeted the priest and then realized that was probably too causal of a greeting for a priest. 'I am soory for me rudeness. Please forgive me.'

The old priest slowly stood, complaining all the while about his sore back and knees. He didn't seem to notice the causal greeting.

'Gud dee to you, me sone. Whot brings you to see me on this fine, warm dee?'

'Forgive me, boot I am troubled and need to speak with sumone,' Thomas said after removing his cap.

'Aye, you luk troubled. You are nay from this village. 'ave you no priest in your village?'

'Aye, there is soch a priest, boot I do nay wish to speak with 'im on the matter that troubles me.'

'Comb with me sone,' the priest said as he walked slowly toward the church.

The priest led Thomas to the old church. It was a small church with a short square steeple. The walls inside had been plastered and painted white.

After they sat down in the back of the church near the steeple end, the priest said, 'Whot troubles you, me sone?'

Thomas looked down at his feet and did not speak. This was the first time that he had sought the advice of a priest and he felt uncomfortable. He had been raised to believe that a man should solve his own problems. The old priest was well acquainted with this attitude and waited patiently. Then to put Thomas at ease, he said 'Sone, I do know that it is 'ard for a man to speak of his troubles. Boot, let me tell you privately, plen'hy of them do.'

Then the priest ventured, 'Is there trouble at 'ome?'

Thomas was taken aback that the priest seemed to know his thoughts.

'Aye,' was all that Thomas offered.

'ow long 'ave you been married then?' asked the priest.

'That is the problem,' replied Thomas.

'Whot is the problem?' asked the priest with a puzzled looked on his face.

'I 'ave nay been married long enuf,' replied Thomas, still looking at his feet.

'Well,' laughed the priest, 'time will certainly take care of that then.'

'Me wife is 'aving a baby soon.'

'That is wonderful. Praise be to God.'

Thomas looked up for the first time and now the priest could see that he had tears in his eyes.

'We 'ave nay been married that long. I do nay believe that the child is mine.'

'I see,' said the priest in a more serious tone, 'ow long did you know your wife before you married?'

'I did nay know 'er long, only a fortnight.'

'Do you luv 'er?'

'Aye, greatly.'

'Does she luv you as well?'

'Aye, she does,' replied Thomas. The priest could tell based on the tone that he used that he felt her love deeply.

'ave you asked 'er if the child is yours?'

Thomas was feeling very uncomfortable with the conversation now and so he stood and paced the floor.

'I culd nay do that,' he replied. 'it wuld 'urt 'er.'

'Do you suppose that you culd only luv the child if you knew that you were the father?'

Thomas didn't answer right away. He wasn't sure of what his answer would be. The priest continued, 'Do you 'ave any children of your own yet?'

'Nay.'

'Do you 'ave any nephews or nieces?'

'Aye,' replied Thomas with a smile.

'And do you luv them?'

'Aye, of course I luv them, they are me family.'

'Boot you are nay the father,' observed the priest. 'If their father were deed, culd you nay raise them and luv them as your own flesh and blood?

'Aye, of course I culd,' Thomas responded with conviction.

'Then it does nay matter whether a child is your flesh and blood, you culd luv them as though they were?'

'Aye,' Thomas admitted. The priest was starting to make a lot of sense to Thomas and already he could feel his burden being lifted.

'Does she treat you well?'

'Aye, she is the most wonderful wife. God sent 'er to me.'

'And do you treat her well?'

'Aye, except for the last sevrule dees. Otherwise, I certainly try. I think of 'er all of the time,' replied Thomas. The thought of Elizabeth brought a smile to his face for the first time in days.

'Did you ask aboot 'er past prior to marrying 'er?' asked the priest.

'Nay, it did nay seem important at the time,' Thomas responded.

'Boot it now seems important?' questioned the priest.

'Aye, it did before I came to see you, boot nay so much now.'

'Wuld you have your marriage annulled?'

The question shocked Thomas. Of course he would not want to have his marriage annulled. 'Nay!' Thomas almost blurted out the word.

'Then whot does it matter?' reasoned the priest. 'Sone, you need to pray to 'ave your 'eart 'ealed. Luv your wife, care for her, keep the commitment that you made to her and to God.'

Thomas realized that his thinking had been clouded. He had accepted Elizabeth as she was when he married her. He knew that she didn't come into the marriage of her own will and that it had taken time for her to learn to love him, but she had. 'ow culd I be so blind?' he asked himself.

'I am grateful to you,' Thomas said to the priest. 'I will.'

He left the priest and went straight into the main part of the church and knelt to pray.

'Dear God,' he prayed, 'please forgive me for me unkindness to me wife. Please grant me the power to luv Elizabeth and 'er child. She is a gud woman. She works 'ard and cares for me greatly. I know that she will be a gud mum. Please sof'en me 'eart and lift me spirit. I made a promise to Elizabeth and a promise to you. 'elp me to keep it. Amen'

As Thomas stood to leave, he felt as though a huge burden had been lifted. He now had a clear perspective and outlook. He quickly left the church and led his ox and wagon back to Lambley.

Elizabeth was serving a customer when he entered the bakery, but that didn't stop him from walking right up to her and hugging her from behind. The customer smiled and Elizabeth blushed.

'Me luv,' said Thomas, 'please forgive me for me be'avior. I am so soory.'

'I forgive you,' said Elizabeth, 'boot you 'ave be'aved poorly.'

'Aye, I 'ave, and I am soory.'

'Do we need to talk aboot it?' asked Elizabeth.

'Nay, I am fine now,' replied Thomas.

Elizabeth could see the wagon from where she stood and observed that there was no wheat in it.

'And where is the wheat?' she asked.

'Oh, I forgot the wheat, oh well, I did nay really need any,' Thomas confessed.

'Then where 'ave you been, while I 'ave been minding the shoppe?'

Thomas could not see anyway out of telling her that he had been to speak with a priest. He also thought it better to be honest with his wife.

'Your 'usband is a weak man, me luv. I 'ave been visiting with a priest in the village next.'

Elizabeth studied his eyes and facial expression trying to decide how far to push him. She was curious as to where he had been, but wherever he had been had done him good. 'Boot why wuld 'e need to speak with a priest?' she wondered, 'boot 'as 'e been faithful?'

'You are nay a weak man, Thomas,' she replied. 'If you needed to speak with a priest, it was the right thing to do.'

Thomas sensed her concern with him visiting with the priest and quickly stated, 'Me luv, I 'ave been completely faithful to you and always will be.'

Elizabeth was greatly relieved. She held him close, but their embrace was interrupted by another customer.

The next several weeks were some of the most pleasant of Thomas's life. He and Elizabeth drew closer to each other every day it seemed and all was right. They had become more anxious though as the days went, waiting for the baby to come. Elizabeth was getting concerned because this was her first child and the prospect of delivery was frightening and the wait was not helping to ease her mind.

'Thomas,' she said as they lay in bed one evening, 'are you asleep?'

Thomas quickly awoke at the sound of her voice. 'Nay, me luv. Is the baby combing?' He was already out of the bed by that point and ready to leave to fetch Elizabeth's mother.

'Nay, it is nay the baby,' Elizabeth laughed. She had to hold her stomach from her laughter for fear that the baby would be delivered right then.

Thomas let out a sigh of relief and climbed back into bed and hugged Elizabeth. 'Whot is it, me luv?' he asked.

'Whot if I do nay survive the delivery of the baby?'

Thomas could hear a quiver in her voice and knew that she was near to tears. 'Elizabeth, do nay speak that way, you will survive just fine,' he reassured her.

Though he tried to sound convincing, Thomas too was concerned. Child delivery was hard and dangerous. He personally knew of more than one woman who had not survived.

'I am frightened,' Elizabeth said through her tears. She was now crying and he didn't know what to do to consul her.

'Your mum will be with you, me luv, and I will nay be far from your seed. I will be right ootseed the room,' he promised.

'I know you will, Thomas. I am still scared,' she said through her tears.

'Thomas, aboot the baby, I shuld 'ave told you earlier that...' Elizabeth started, but was cutoff by Thomas.

'Shhh, I luv you and the baby. You 'ave told me all that I need to 'ear,' he assured her.

''old me Thomas,' Elizabeth asked.

Not knowing what else to do or say, Thomas held her and whispered in her ear, 'God will be with you, me luv. Whotever 'appens, 'e will nay leave you alone.'

Elizabeth nuzzled her face into his side and relaxed. Eventually, she was asleep. Thomas couldn't get to sleep right away. 'Whot must it be like for a woman to be willing to offer 'er life so that another may 'ave life,' he wondered. Then he thought about his Lord and considered the similarities and his heart was drawn out to them both. 'ow culd I ever 'ave been un'appy with 'er?' he asked himself. 'Please forgive me, Elizabeth. Please forgive me, Lord,' he whispered. His voice slightly disturbed Elizabeth in her sleep and she stirred, but did not wake.

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As he neared Elizabeth's uncle's house, Thomas could see Elizabeth's mother in the garden.

'Oy, comb quickly,' he yelled as he neared. 'It is Elizabeth! The baby is combing now.'

'Oh,' gasped Elizabeth's mother, 'the baby is combing? I must 'urry. Tell the lads and the others where I 'ave gone.' And with that she hurried along the road as quickly as she could.

It didn't take Thomas long to inform the others of the impending delivery and to catch up with Elizabeth's mother.

'Is she okay?' asked her mother through gasps of air.

'I do nay know, boot I think that she is,' responded Thomas. 'I am going to go a'ead of you.' With that he quicken his pace and left her mother hurrying as fast as she could.

Thomas could hear Elizabeth's cries before he entered the bakery and he grew weak and felt dizzy.

'Thomas!' he hear Elizabeth cry as he hurried up the stairs. He was not prepared for the sight of desperation that he saw when he entered the room. Elizabeth was breathing heavily and was sweating profusely. The bed linens were crimson with her blood. It was all that Thomas could do to keep from passing out.

Hurrying to her side, he said, 'Your mum is on 'er way, she is right be'ind me.' He felt so helpless. He felt that all that he could do was to pray and so he did.

Elizabeth's mother appeared in the doorway and he leapt to his feet. He was so happy to turn the situation over to her. She had some experience with child birth. She had delivered three of her own and had helped other women as well.

Thomas had promised that he would stay near, but the cries of Elizabeth were more than he could stand, so he left the bakery. He first went into the yard in the back of the bakery, but he could still hear her cries so he walked down the nearby lane to the church. He was there for over an hour and decided to return, but when he got near to the bakery, he could hear her cries again. A friend of his was standing nearby.

'Oy, Thomas, so todee is the dee?'

'Aye, it is,' replied Thomas as he looked up to the window of the room above, 'and I can nay abide Elizabeth's cries.'

'Aye, I was nay nearby when me five were born.'

Thomas left again with his friend. He didn't go any place in particular, but walked the streets of the village until he could not stand to be away from Elizabeth any longer. When he returned to the bakery he couldn't hear any sounds coming from the rooms above. His heart sunk as he feared that he had lost his dear Elizabeth. He hurried up the stairs and just as he reached the top, he heard a cry, but it wasn't Elizabeth's, it was a baby's cry.

'Elizabeth!' he cried as he hurried into the room and rushed to her side. Her eyes were shut when he looked at her. She her body was limp and wet from sweat and her face was whiter than he had ever seen. Kneeling beside her, he cradled her head in his hand and rubbed her face with his other hand. 'Elizabeth,' he whispered. With that, Elizabeth slowly opened her eyes and looked at him.

'Thomas, I luv you,' she whispered.

Thomas held her face close and kissed her gently. 'Elizabeth, me luv. I thought that I 'ad lost you. I was so scared and 'elpless. Praise God that you are alive.'

Elizabeth was weak, but she smiled and said 'Thomas, we 'ave a sone,' and then she looked in the direction of her mother.

Up to that point Thomas had forgotten about the baby. He looked in the corner of the room where Elizabeth's mother was cleaning the baby. 'A sone!' he said with excitement. Only now did his mind register the cries of the baby. He looked at Elizabeth again and kissed her on the forehead. Then he stood and went to the side of Elizabeth's mother. She had wrapped the baby boy in a small blanket and handed the bundle to Thomas. He took the baby and gently cradled him in his arms. He was instantly filled with love for the child. He hadn't realized that he was capable of such an immediate reaction. For a moment it was as if there was no one else in the room except the two of them. It seemed that no one existed in time and space except for the two of them and he felt closer to Elizabeth and to God than he had ever felt. Regardless of circumstances, this was his son. His heart was full and his joy complete.

He gently carried the baby to Elizabeth and placed the child on her breast. Elizabeth had never looked more radiant and beautiful. She gently stroked the baby's head and looked up at Thomas and smiled. Her energy was spent, but she had never felt so alive. This was her baby, he was a miracle and words could not express her joy and contentment. She reached out and took Thomas by the hand and closed her eyes. Thomas noticed a tear slowly roll down her cheeks.

Elizabeth's mother came to her side and asked Elizabeth what the baby would be called. Elizabeth looked up at Thomas expectedly. ''e will be James,' said Thomas. Elizabeth looked at her mother and said, ''is name is James.'

'That is a fine name,' said her mother. 'You did well me child.'