The Perfect Retreat

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE




‘I know this house,’ said Eliza, as she peered through the window of the rented car that Tatiana and Kerr had hired for the drive. She looked at Johnny, who had accompanied them on the trip once he had seen photos of Tatiana online with no top on and Kerr sucking her nipple.

‘It is very beautiful,’ said Tatiana as she peered over the top of her Polaroid sunglasses.

‘Yes, but it’s falling down,’ said Eliza, as though she could taste the mildew.

Johnny looked nervous. He hadn’t seen Merritt since he had caught him in bed with Eliza, who was now his wife, and he wasn’t up for any confrontations.

The car stopped and the driver alighted, opening the doors for his passengers.

Tatiana got out first and then Eliza, next Johnny, and finally Kerr.

Willow watched from upstairs. She had told Merritt and Kitty that Kerr was coming to see the children but she hadn’t elaborated any more. Merritt had been good about it, actually enthusiastic for him to see the children. ‘They need a father,’ he had said.

They have you, thought Willow, but she didn’t say anything. The evening had been pleasant, with the dog finally being named George at Poppy’s insistence, and it was given the seal of approval by Lucian, who smiled a little when it was floated as an option.

Kitty was nervous for Willow, knowing what a prick Kerr was, and anxious for Merritt too.

On the morning of the meeting, the children had played up – it was only natural, with all the tension in the air – and Kitty had had her hands full.

Finally the guests were there, and Poppy was bursting to see Kerr.

Kitty went down with them to see him. Lucian remained behind Kitty, holding Custard. Jinty was asleep upstairs. Poppy threw herself at her father.

‘Pops!’ he yelled, and Willow felt sick hearing his voice. ‘Hey Luce. You’re a bit old for a teddy mate.’ Lucian ran upstairs and hid under the bed. It took Kitty all morning to try and coax him out.

Kitty’s surprise at seeing Eliza was nothing compared with her horror at seeing Johnny. Remembering him taking away her virginity and never calling, even though she had followed him around for weeks until he threatened to call the police on her and called her a stupid dumb whore in the street, made her want to get under the bed with Lucian.

Willow was all charm, as she welcomed them into Merritt’s home.

Merritt stayed away, not aware of the party that had come with Kerr. He figured that Willow and Kerr had things to discuss, so he spent his day in the garden, being busy, worrying.

When he finally came to the house, he kicked off his work boots and walked into the drawing room to find Eliza, Johnny and a strange European-looking woman in shorts, a fur coat and Ugg boots drinking his scotch. He felt his perfect world slip away.

‘Hello Merritt,’ said Eliza coolly.

‘Hello old man,’ said Johnny, as though nothing had ever occurred between the three of them.

‘What the f*ck are you doing in my house?’ asked Merritt, his eyes flashing.

‘Oh, we’re here as guests of Willow,’ said Eliza, her eyes daring him to make a scene. ‘I’m representing her husband. Johnny’s just here for the ride.’

Merritt turned and walked out. He slammed into Willow in the foyer. ‘What the f*ck are they doing in my house?’ he hissed.

‘They came with Kerr,’ she said. ‘Why? Do you know them?’

‘Know them?’ he spat. ‘That bitch is my ex-wife and that other bastard is my ex-best friend, now her husband.’

‘Oh f*ck,’ said Willow, in shock.

‘Yes,’ said Merritt as he walked up the stairs.

‘I want them out! Do you hear me?’ he yelled, as he stalked up the stairs.

As he came to the first floor he heard crying from Poppy’s room. ‘But I like it here!’ she was sobbing. He thought at first she’d overheard his shouting and misunderstood, but then he heard a man’s voice.

‘You’ll like it in America too, Pops,’ said the voice. It sounded Scottish. ‘Just you and me; and we’ll leave Lucian and Jinty here for Mummy so she doesn’t get sad.’

Merritt stopped outside the room and saw Lucian standing in the hallway listening to his father.

‘Can we take George the dog?’ sobbed Poppy.

Merritt held his breath as Kerr answered. ‘Of course we can. He’s your dog now. Lucian doesn’t want him,’ he said, and Merritt wanted to kick him. Instead he picked up Lucian and swept into the bedroom.

‘That’s not true, Luce. George and Poppy will stay here, with me and your mum and Jinty,’ he said firmly, not quite believing himself.

When Kerr finally left with his guests, Kitty put the children to bed and Merritt went to bed himself, closing his door firmly. Willow wondered whether to knock as she stood outside his room, but she decided against it and went for a restless night’s sleep.

The next morning she was filming again, and since it was near to the end of the shoot they were in for long days.

Kerr arrived by himself at the set to see Willow and he waited for her inside the house, talking to Poppy and ignoring the other children. Kitty sat with them and tried to include them in the conversation, but Kerr ignored her as well.

Finally Willow arrived. ‘I think we better go for a walk,’ she said to Kerr, and she took him in the direction of the Lady’s Garden.

‘What do you want, Kerr?’ she asked, as they sat down on the bench where she and Merritt had first kissed.

‘I don’t know,’ he said as he looked out over the field.

‘You f*cked us up so badly, Kerr,’ she said hatefully.

‘I know.’

‘We have no money,’ she said.

‘Well you do now, with the film; and Eliza says you’re doing some big makeup brand promotion,’ said Kerr. ‘We’re still married, so I get half of that.’

‘Are you kidding me?’ She stood up. ‘I will fight you all the way to court,’ she said.

‘No you won’t,’ he said calmly.

‘I f*cking will.’

‘No you won’t, and you know why. Because I will get Eliza to release your secret and then you will be a complete laughing stock, you f*cking idiot,’ he said. ‘I want half of the money for the film, I want half of the money for the makeup gig and ongoing royalties.’ He paused. ‘And I want Poppy and the dog.’

‘What?’ she cried, feeling as though she was in a horror movie.

‘You heard me. Do it or I’ll slander you all over town. And I know about you and the dumb hired help you’ve been f*cking here. Poppy told me. You are so sad. F*cking your landlord so you don’t have to pay rent, huh?’

Willow went to slap him but he grabbed her wrist and spun her around onto his lap.

‘He’s brought out the tiger in you has he?’ he asked menacingly. ‘Shame I never saw it; might have stopped me having to find it elsewhere.’ He shoved his hand up her top, grabbed her breast and kissed her hard on the mouth.

Merritt was coming out of the side garden when he saw her on Kerr’s lap, being kissed and fondled. He stood watching and then turned and walked away. Of course it would end like this, he thought; as it started, with Eliza and Johnny orchestrating the whole finale from afar.

Willow stood up and punched Kerr in the face. Where the force came from she didn’t know, but she felt satisfied with the punch as she saw him fall backwards off the bench.

‘Do it. Tell everyone. I don’t give a shit. You will not have anything else of mine; not my money, not my children and not any more of my time. Now f*ck off or I’m calling the police.’ And she ran into the house.

That night, after he left Middlemist, Kerr took Eliza out for dinner and left Tatiana to her own devices. He needed a strategy, and Eliza was a real-life Lady Macbeth.

Tatiana threw a tantrum in her room and wrote CUNT F*ckER ARSEHOLE all over the walls in makeup, along with some unpleasant Russian and a giant penis playing a guitar. Johnny heard her throwing things in the room next door and went to investigate.

‘You right darling?’ he asked smoothly as he heard the shattering of glass. Tatiana opened the door wearing knickers, a bikini top and sunglasses. She looked at him.

‘I hate him,’ she said, and she pointed to the wall.

Johnny looked at it, and then looked at her and smiled. ‘That’s really something,’ he said. ‘Ever thought about a career as an artist?’

Meanwhile Eliza and Kerr were getting pissed in the pub and she was planning his career in America. ‘They love accents over there. You should leave the band and go solo. Launch in America,’ she was coaxing him. She was sick of London and she was sick of Johnny. What she needed was a rich rock star and LA, where she could hang out with Posh Spice and maybe join Scientology with Katie and Tom.

Kerr listened to her. ‘You’re f*cking right,’ he said. ‘I’m better than England. F*ck it, let’s do it.’

‘Excellent,’ said Eliza, draining her vodka.

‘What about Johnny?’ he slurred.

‘Who’s Johnny?’ She laughed and Kerr joined in, although he didn’t understand.

Later when they f*cked in his bed underneath Tatiana’s mural, Eliza looked up at it as she rode him. ‘You’re such a rock star, trashing your hotel room like this,’ she said, her head spinning.

Kerr had no idea what she was talking about again, but he pumped harder. They fell asleep together.

In the room next door, Tatiana was holding a mug of hot chocolate as Johnny cut up the cocaine she had produced earlier.

‘You think I could be an artist?’

‘Absolutely,’ he said. ‘I can make you a star of the art world.’ He leant down and snorted.

To be a star was all Tatiana had ever wanted, and she nodded. ‘I am vey passionate. I just need an outlet.’

‘Well how about you start on me then,’ said Johnny, undoing the robe he had slipped into and showing her his hard dick, completely devoid of pubic hair.

Tatiana smiled. Johnny was much more her type, she thought as she peeled off her shorts.