The Nightingale Girls

CHAPTER Forty-Nine



THEY SAT TOGETHER at her father’s bedside all evening. Millie would have stayed there all night too, if Seb hadn’t gently persuaded her to go home and rest. ‘You’ll do your father no good at all if you’re exhausted,’ he reasoned. ‘Do you think he wants to wake up and see you looking like death?’

All through the following day he was there by her side. And the day after that.

‘You don’t have to stay, you know,’ she said, over and over again. But the answer was always the same.

‘I know I don’t have to. But I want to.’

As they sat there together, Millie opened her heart and confided in him her fears for the estate.

‘Granny’s right,’ she sighed. ‘Jackson is a good man, but someone needs to take charge there. There’s so much to be done. The hops will be ready for picking soon, and then there’s the fruit and all the other crops . . .’

‘Let me help,’ Seb said.

‘You?’

‘Don’t sound so surprised,’ he laughed. ‘I know I might seem like a bumbling fool, but I do know something about running an estate. Who do you think has been looking after Lyford while my brother’s been in the army and my father’s been – well, doing whatever he does? I would like to help,’ he said earnestly. ‘I could help keep an eye on everything until your father is well enough to take over the reins again.’

The way he said it touched Millie. It gave her hope that one day everything would be back to normal, even though in the back of her mind she knew it wouldn’t.

‘Would you?’ she said hopefully. ‘It would be such a relief to know Billinghurst was in good hands.’

‘Of course. You know I’d do anything to help you.’ He took her hand and for a moment they stared into each other’s eyes. ‘Millie—’ Seb started to say, but she cut him off.

‘I’d better read to Daddy.’ She withdrew her hand from his and picked up the folded copy of The Times she had brought from home. ‘He needs to know what’s happening in the world.’

Seb rose to his feet. ‘I’ll take a stroll, if you don’t mind? I need some fresh air.’

Millie watched him out of the window, walking briskly down towards the stream that ran through the hospital grounds. Dear Seb. He was the kindest, most wonderful friend she could ever wish for. But she knew he wanted more than that.

Could she offer him anything other than friendship? She knew she loved being with him, that she needed his strength and his unshakable good humour. He was the only one she could really talk to, and she missed him when he wasn’t by her side.

But was that the same as love? He didn’t make her heart flutter, or her head spin. But perhaps those kinds of feelings didn’t really count? She pushed her troubled thoughts aside, opened up the newspaper and scanned through the stories.

‘“Parliament has finally passed the new Government of India Act,”’ she read aloud. ‘“It gives all provinces full representative and elective governments.” Just think, thirty million Indians will finally have the vote. I think that’s a good thing, don’t you, Daddy? Although it says the Viceroy and his governors retain veto powers. I hope they don’t use them. That wouldn’t be very fair, would it?’ She laughed to herself. ‘Listen to me! A week ago I wouldn’t have given a fig about politics, and now I’m quite au fait with it all. You always said I should take more interest in current affairs, didn’t you?’

She stared at her father’s waxy, lifeless face, willing him to respond, to be proud of her. But there was only silence.

Choking back tears, she turned hurriedly to the crossword, rustling the pages. As usual, she could only manage a few of the clues before she was completely stumped.

‘Twelve across. “Left in the dark”. Eight letters. Now what could that be?’ She chewed the end of her pencil thoughtfully. ‘Electric? That’s to do with the dark, isn’t it? Although I suppose it’s more light than dark. Abandon? No, that’s only seven letters. Maybe it’s abandons? Although that has nothing to do with dark, has it?’

She gazed at her father. ‘I bet you’d know it straight away, wouldn’t you? You’d just say the answer as if it were the simplest thing in the world. You always know the answer, don’t you, Daddy? You just say it, and it’s completely obvious.’ She caught her breath on a sob. ‘Oh, Daddy, why aren’t you here to help me?’

Grief, exhaustion, frustration and every other emotion she had been storing up came pouring out as she sat by his bedside, weeping silently, her shoulders heaving.

‘Sinister.’

The whisper was so faint, Millie wasn’t sure she’d heard it at first.

She looked up in disbelief. ‘Daddy?’

She saw his dry lips move slightly. No words this time, but it was enough. His eyelids fluttered for a second, then closed again.

‘Nurse!’ Millie screamed. She ran for the door and crashed into the nurse who was hurrying in.

‘What is it? What’s happened?’

‘He’s woken up!’ It was all Millie could do not to hug her. ‘He spoke to me.’

Everything happened very fast after that. The nurse called for Mr Cossard, who finally appeared after what seemed like hours, examined his patient and declared that, yes indeed, there did seem to be signs of life.

‘But we must be cautious until we know the extent of any possible damage,’ he cautioned.

‘He can’t be too damaged if he can still do The Times crossword, can he?’ Millie was too delighted to listen to the warnings. ‘I must tell Seb.’ She looked out of the window. There was no sign of him in the grounds, but she knew he would be there.

She found him straight away. He was sitting on the bank by the stream, smoking and staring out into the water.

‘Seb!’ He shot to his feet and tossed his cigarette into the stream when he saw her running towards him, calling his name. Millie saw the flicker of concern on his face as he wondered what news she was bringing.

She launched herself into his arms, overcome by joy and relief. ‘He’s awake, Seb,’ she whispered. ‘Daddy’s going to be all right.’

‘Thank God.’ She felt him relax, and his arms went around her, holding her tight. For a moment neither of them moved. Then they slowly pulled apart. Millie looked up into his eyes, finding them dark with desire, and felt herself weaken.

‘Millie?’ His voice was hoarse, uncertain.

For an answer, she put her hands up to his face and kissed him. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world. Seb’s kiss was shy and tentative at first and she could sense him holding back, as if he almost didn’t dare believe it was really happening. Then a moment later the floodgates opened and he was kissing her with a ferocity and passion she could hardly have imagined in him.

She went on kissing him for a long time, not wanting to let him go, afraid to break the spell. But finally it was broken and they pulled apart.

‘We’d better go back inside.’ Millie’s gaze slid away from his, unable to meet his eyes.

‘Shall I telephone your grandmother and let her know? Or would you prefer me to drive back and fetch her?’ Seb asked, as they walked back to the hospital building.

‘It might be best if you telephone her. She may need some time to compose herself. Granny hates being caught unawares.’

They were talking like strangers, Millie thought, not like two people who had just shared a moment of intense passion. She began to wonder if she’d imagined it.