The Cold Nowhere

43

The medical team had extracted Margot’s body from the freezer, but the corpse was still frozen solid, her bent limbs jutting into the air in a pose that was unnatural and obscene. The thawing was slow, but under the heat of the crime scene lights, melting ice had begun to soak her skin and clothes like sweat.

Stride and Serena watched the activity through the open garage door. He understood the depth of loss and anger he saw in Serena’s face. The longer a missing person stays missing, the more you know that he or she is never likely to be found alive. Even so, when you finally stare at that person’s body, you can’t escape the sense of defeat.

‘Time of death will be almost impossible to determine,’ he said.

Serena’s eyes were fixed on Margot. ‘The clothes match what she was wearing when she was last seen in Grand Rapids on that Sunday. If she was alive after she disappeared, it wasn’t for long.’

‘Dan and his team will be working the scene for hours, but so far, he says it’s clean. We’re not going to get much here.’

‘The house?’ she asked.

‘It doesn’t look like he even went inside. No trash, no food. The water’s not turned on. He was careful.’

She frowned. ‘Why take the body here?’

Stride kicked at the earth with his heel. ‘Ground’s still frozen. So are the lakes. He couldn’t bury it or dump it.’

Serena turned away from the bright lights of the garage. They pushed through the snow of the front yard. Red and blue lights from the emergency vehicles flashed on the highway, and the evidence technicians streamed back and forth to their white crime scene van. Although the snow had stopped, the air was bitter cold. No one liked winter bodies.

‘Margot was in Duluth on that Saturday looking for Cat,’ Serena said, rehashing what they knew about her movements that final weekend. ‘She talked to Bill Green. She talked to Dory. Maybe others, we don’t know yet. As of midnight, she was down in the graffiti graveyard, still trying to find her.’

‘She never did,’ Stride said.

‘Do we know where Cat really was that night?’ Serena asked.

‘Yes, she bumped into a girl she knew from Denfeld up at Miller Hill Mall. The girl let her crash at her parents’ house. Maggie confirmed it.’

‘So at some point, Margot gave up for the night and went home to Grand Rapids. Early Sunday morning, she had breakfast at a local diner. The waitress said Margot was scribbling notes in a legal pad and made some comment about looking for someone to help her break a big story. No details about who or what. Margot left, and a day later we found her brand-spanking new Lowball Lenny Ford Explorer parked near the Swan River. No legal pads, no notes, no computer in her house, nothing. The only real clue I ever found is that she got a call that morning from a pay phone at a rest stop in Floodwood.’

‘The killer setting up a meeting with her?’

‘That’s been my theory all along. She had to be meeting someone at the river. Unfortunately, he didn’t leave prints on the phone or the coins.’

‘So he meets Margot,’ Stride went on, ‘kills her, cleans out evidence of what she was working on, and comes here to dump the body. He’s already got the stolen Charger, so we assume that’s what he’s driving. And then he starts doing exactly what Margot was doing.’

‘Looking for Cat,’ Serena said. ‘Why?’

‘Maybe Margot mentioned Cat when they met, or maybe she was listed in her notes.’

‘Or maybe one of the people that Margot talked to on Saturday tipped off the killer,’ Serena suggested. ‘Remember, we can’t be sure that this guy is working alone. This place is pretty remote, so how did he get here? The buses don’t come up this far. There were two cars in the garage. He couldn’t drive them both.’

‘We’re canvassing the neighbors to see if anyone saw the Charger coming or going. There aren’t a lot of people up here, but that means neighbors tend to notice things.’

Serena studied the modest rambler, which was now ablaze with lights as the crime scene team explored the house. ‘Why’d he pick this house, anyway?’

Stride shrugged. ‘Half the people in Duluth know that Wally and Ruth are snowbirds and that their house is empty all winter. Wally has been on the Rotary for decades. Ruth’s been a hospital volunteer at St. Luke’s as long as I can remember.’

Serena shook her head. ‘We’ve got nothing. Nothing except bodies. This guy is two steps ahead of us everywhere we go.’

Stride couldn’t disagree with her. He felt as if someone were playing games with them, throwing up red herrings and misdirections to lead them everywhere but where they needed to go. This man was inside their heads. Kim Dehne gets killed with a knife, like Vincent Roslak. The knife vanishes and then shows up in Dory’s apartment. The evidence leads them away, while the killer calmly goes back to finding Cat.

Why?

He saw Max Guppo waddling toward them across the frozen lawn, looking like an oversized version of the mayor of Munchkin City. Same comb-over. Same mustache. Same thunderous waistline. He’d known Guppo as long as he’d been with the Duluth Police, and he didn’t think he’d ever met a kinder soul. He also knew that Serena had Guppo wrapped around her pretty finger. Whenever he smelled snickerdoodles in the office, he knew that Duluth Police secrets were spilling across the county line to Grand Rapids.

‘How are you, Max?’ Serena greeted him. ‘Hey, you’ve lost a little weight, haven’t you?’

Stride rolled his eyes at her. ‘Shameless.’

Guppo’s face, which was already red from the cold, brightened at the compliment. He was a happily married father of five, but he was a sucker for Serena’s smile. ‘Actually, I’m down ten pounds.’

‘Good for you! How are the kids?’

‘They’re super. The oldest, Gina, is playing Division One volleyball at Iowa State.’

‘You guys must be really proud.’

‘Uh, Max?’ Stride said, interrupting the lovefest. ‘You want to tell me what’s going on?’

Guppo tugged at his uniform, which was snug despite any weight he’d lost. ‘Oh, sure, the girl? You know, Cat? The hospital released her. One of our people was going to take her back to your place, but she refused to go. She insisted on coming here. She’s in the back of your truck.’

‘How is she?’

‘Pretty shaken up.’

‘I’ll go talk to her,’ Stride said.

Serena wiggled her fingers at Guppo to say goodbye as the oversized cop retraced his steps to the crime scene. Stride zipped up his leather jacket and took a look at the highway through the trees. His Expedition was parked on the shoulder behind Guppo’s patrol car.

‘You want me to come with you?’ Serena asked.

‘No, I’ll do it. You know, I never get flattery from you. How does Guppo rate?’

‘Well, he’s much sweeter than you are, Jonny.’

‘That’s true.’

Stride hiked up the driveway in the trampled path that had been made by his officers. When the wind blew, snow sprayed from the evergreen branches overhead and trickled down his back in cold streaks. At Martin Road, he crossed to the opposite side and opened the rear door of his truck and slid inside. The interior was cold, and Cat sat in the far corner, wrapped in a tan Mexican blanket that Cindy had given him almost twenty years ago. The girl’s skin was pink and scrubbed; her hair had been washed. There were no traces of her aunt’s death clinging to her body.

Her eyes were distant and sad.

‘You found Margot?’ she said.

Stride nodded.

Cat sat in silence and chewed her nail, staring at the lights and the silhouettes of the police officers moving back and forth through the night like soldiers. Flares and parked squad cars closed the road in both directions. Finally, she said, ‘Are you afraid of dying, Stride?’

‘I’m not looking forward to it,’ he replied.

‘I saw Dory die. Right in front of me. She was alive, and then she was dead.’

‘I know.’

‘I can’t stop thinking about it. I keep seeing her face.’

He didn’t know what to say. He’d been in her shoes many times, watching life become death. There was no way to comfort her.

‘What do you think it’s like?’ she asked. ‘Being dead, I mean. Is that all there is?’

‘I wish I knew, Cat.’

‘My mother used to tell me about heaven. She said if I was good, and I prayed, I would go to heaven. She made it sound so beautiful. Do you think my mother’s in heaven?’

‘If there’s a heaven, I’m sure Michaela is there,’ Stride told her.

‘But you don’t think it exists.’

‘I hope it does, but I let God worry about things like that. I worry about the world down here.’

‘Even if it does exist, I’ll never get in,’ Cat said.

‘Why do you say that?’

‘Me? I’m just a whore.’

He reached out and cupped her chin with his hand. ‘What you were is behind you. You’re young, and you’re going to have a child, and you have your whole life ahead of you.’

Cat sniffled and wiped a hand across her face. ‘It doesn’t matter. I don’t think it exists, anyway. There’s no heaven. It’s just a lie that people tell. I think death is nothing but a cold nowhere.’

Stride slid across the seat. He wrapped Cat up in his arms. Her eyes were open, but she’d run out of tears.

‘My mother’s gone. My father’s gone. Now Dory’s gone, too. I have nobody.’

She said it matter-of-factly. That was what made his heart break. It had become so commonplace to her. He took a deep breath and thought about Cindy. Her voice was still vivid to him, when she woke him up in the middle of the night. So earnest. So sure she’d found the answer. Maybe we were meant to rescue someone else’s child.

‘I won’t let you be alone, Cat. That’s a promise.’

Cat said nothing. She didn’t know what it meant for him to say those words. She couldn’t afford to believe him, anyway. This was a girl for whom promises were empty.

‘Get some rest if you can,’ he told her. ‘We’ll be here for several more hours. Serena will take you to see Steve in the morning. Your baby’s the most important thing. Okay?’

She nodded with her head against his chest. He felt her relax just a little. When he eased away from her, she held onto his hand.

‘Do you think you can be a good person and do something really bad?’ she asked.

‘I hope so. I’ve done some bad things myself.’

‘Me, too. I was so angry with Dory, but then I thought, who am I to judge her? She always protected me. It doesn’t matter what she did in the past. I guess I was just angry at my father all over again.’

Stride frowned. ‘Your father? Why him?’

‘Dory told me something. He paid her a lot of money to sleep with him. She kept it a secret from me all these years, because she felt so guilty. If it were me, I probably would have done the same thing. If someone gave me five hundred dollars, you think I’d say no? I’m not sure I would.’

‘When was this?’

‘Right before my mother and father died.’ She saw the grimness take hold in Stride’s face, and she said, ‘What? What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing,’ he said.

‘Do you think it means something that Dory slept with my father?’

‘I think it meant something to Dory. She had trouble living with it. Beyond that, no. I heard you say that you forgave her for what she did. That’s the end of it. You can let it go.’

‘Okay.’

‘Get some rest,’ he repeated.

He eased her against the cushions of the seat, and she was asleep before he even adjusted the blanket on top of her. Her face was angelic. He smiled, looking at her, but he didn’t feel like smiling at all. He was suddenly deeply troubled.

It didn’t matter that Dory had slept with Marty. It didn’t even surprise him. It was exactly the kind of cruel, manipulative thing that Michaela’s ex-husband would do, just for the pleasure of demeaning another human being. What troubled him was that he knew Marty Gamble inside and out. He knew everything about him. He could practically account for every minute of his days. Where he worked. Where he ate. Where he drank. The clothes he wore. The money going in and out of his checking account. He knew it all.

There was no way – no way – that Marty Gamble should have had five hundred dollars to pay Dory for sex.





44

Steve Garske poked Serena in the shoulder. ‘Wake up, sleepy-head.’

Serena blinked. Moments earlier, she’d been reading a copy of People magazine in the clinic lounge as Cat went inside to the examining room with Steve. Looking at the clock, she realized that nearly an hour had gone by, and she was stretched out on the sofa with her head on a throw pillow. Her long hair was a rat’s nest.

‘Is it still April?’ she asked.

‘Last time I checked,’ Steve said, ‘although you wouldn’t know it from the weather. It’s eighteen degrees out there. So much for global warming.’

‘I moved from Las Vegas for this paradise,’ Serena said blearily, covering a yawn with her hand. ‘How’s Cat?’

Steve still wore his lab coat, with a stethoscope slung around his neck. ‘Physically, she’s fine. Mentally, well, that’s another story. She’s really upset.’

‘She had a bad night,’ Serena said.

‘I heard.’

Serena pushed herself up on the sofa and stretched her arms over her head. She saw the Caribbean glow on Steve’s skin. ‘Nice tan,’ she said.

‘I don’t tan. I burn. Anyway, it’s fading already. Soon I’ll be a white ghost like everyone else around here.’ He added, ‘It’s good to see you, Serena. I’ve missed you down at Amazing Grace this winter. I always throw in a Terri Clark song just for you.’

‘Yeah, sorry, I haven’t been in town much.’

‘But you’re back?’

‘I’m here now,’ she said.

His face had a sly smirk. ‘So what’s new with you?’

‘You mean, like, are you getting enough fiber in your diet? Are you still renting DVDs from Netflix? Or do you mean, what’s up between you and Jonny? You are an incorrigible gossip, Dr. Garske.’

‘I am,’ Steve agreed, ‘but since you brought it up, are you guys a couple again?’

‘We’re talking. We’re working together. We’ll see how it goes. I won’t deny that it’s nice to be with him.’

‘Have you slept with him yet?’

‘Jesus, Steve!’

‘Hey, if you can’t tell your doctor, who can you tell?’

‘You’re not my doctor.’

‘Fine, I’m his doctor. It’s a professional inquiry. Sex is good cardiovascular activity.’

‘If you remember, lack of sex wasn’t his problem,’ Serena said sourly. ‘It was who he was having sex with.’

‘Point taken. Sorry. If it weren’t for the whole do-no-harm oath, I would have kicked his ass when he told me about it. Speaking of your romantic rival, I heard that Maggie was in a car accident last night. Is she okay?’

‘She’s fine. You can only kill the undead with a stake through the heart.’ Serena yawned again and realized what she’d said. ‘I’m sorry, did that come out as bitchy as it sounded?’

‘Pretty much.’

‘Well, she’s fine.’

‘I’m relieved,’ Steve said. ‘I love her, but I knew she and Stride were a train wreck. I’m really glad you and he are trying to work things out.’

‘You never quit, do you?’

Steve mussed his blond hair. ‘Nope. Dr. Lovelorn, that’s me.’

‘Uh huh. Don’t quit your day job, Doc. Can I go get Cat?’

‘Sure, go on back.’

Serena stood up. ‘Tell me something, Steve. Back when Jonny and Cindy were trying to have kids, was he really on board with it? Or was it what Cindy wanted?’

‘Sorry, kiddo, I can’t say anything about that. They were both patients.’

‘I know. Never mind.’

‘What about you? Did you and Stride ever talk about kids?’

‘I can’t have kids.’

‘I realize that, but that’s not the only way.’

Serena shrugged. ‘We didn’t really talk about it. It was easier not to talk about a lot of things. That was part of our problem.’

‘I hear you, but it doesn’t have to stay that way for ever. You know, Stride wasn’t always closed off the way he is now. He used to be pretty cocky. Much more like a cowboy. When Cindy died, he didn’t feel invincible anymore.’

It was like playing a record with a skip in it. The same note, over and over in her ears. ‘Yeah, I know, Cindy was the love of his life. Me, I’m Nancy Kerrigan, skating for the silver medal.’

‘That wasn’t what I meant at all,’ Steve said.

‘Doesn’t matter. It’s true.’

‘Actually, it’s a big load of self-pitying crap, Serena Dial.’

She laughed. ‘Yeah, maybe.’

‘Look, I’ve known Stride practically my entire life. I knew him with Cindy. I knew him with that disaster of a second wife of his, Andrea. I’ve known him with you. Was he happy with Cindy? Absolutely. It’s pretty damn easy to be happy when you’re young. But to be happy again, to fall in love again, after you’ve been through what he went through? That’s a hell of a steep climb. And that’s what I saw with him and you.’

Serena patted him on the cheek. ‘You’re a smoothie.’

‘Yes, I am.’

‘You need a girl, Steve.’

‘What makes you think I don’t have a little beach bunny down in Nassau?’

‘Do you?’

‘Nah, I just go for the pina coladas and the music. I’m married to my work. And my guitar.’

‘Next gig, I’m there,’ Serena promised. ‘I have to get Cat.’

She squeezed Steve’s shoulder and headed for the examining room. She knocked, but there was no answer from inside so she pushed the door open. Cat sat on the edge of the table, her stockinged feet dangling. She was dressed in a medical gown, open in the back, revealing the bare curve of her spine. She obviously hadn’t moved since Steve left the room.

‘Cat? You okay?’

The girl didn’t answer. Serena slipped inside and shut the door behind her.

‘Steve says you’re doing great. That’s good news.’

Cat shrugged. ‘I guess.’

‘Are you thinking about Dory? I’m sorry. It was an awful thing to go through.’

‘It’s not just that,’ she said.

‘Then what?’

Cat pointed at a chair against the wall, where her clothes were neatly folded. A large, over-stuffed manila envelope sat on top of her sweatshirt. ‘Dr. Steve gave me a bunch of brochures and books and stuff. What to eat. What not to eat. Vitamins and exercises. What’s happening inside my body. He told me what to expect month by month.’

‘It’s a lot to absorb,’ Serena said.

‘I’m not sure I’m up to it. Me having a baby? I’m crazy to think I can do it on my own. Maybe it would be better if I just – you know. Ended it.’

‘You’re feeling overwhelmed. That’s natural.’

‘It would be a lot easier if I didn’t go ahead with it, though, huh?’

‘Why the big change, Cat? You were excited.’

‘I know, but I’ve been thinking it’s not fair to a kid to have a mother like me.’ Cat stared at her feet. ‘I’m just scared. Losing Dory, it made me realize I’m all by myself in this.’

‘No, you’re not. You’ll have help.’

‘Thanks. You and Stride have been great. Sooner or later, though, it’s over, you know? It’s nice that Stride says I won’t be alone, but what can he do? Find me a foster home for a couple years? Come see me sometimes? It’s not that I’m not grateful, but it would suck to be a mom like that.’

‘Stride said you wouldn’t be alone?’ Serena asked.

Cat nodded.

‘He doesn’t say things like that lightly.’

‘Well, it’s not like I can stay at his house for ever.’

Serena didn’t say anything. She wondered whether Stride had really thought about the road ahead for Cat. And for himself. She also wondered where, if she had her desires, she fit into that equation with the two of them. If she fit at all.

‘Let’s worry about that later, okay?’ she told Cat. ‘Why don’t you get dressed? We can do a quick breakfast somewhere. What’s your favorite breakfast?’

‘Hot dogs,’ Cat said.

‘Seriously?’

‘Yeah, Dory took me to the state fair once a couple years ago. I was able to get a hot dog at like seven in the morning. A big footlong chili dog with onions. It was great.’

‘Well, Coney Island is open. Let’s see if we can get you a breakfast dog.’

Cat grinned. ‘Cool!’

She hopped down from the examining table. She shrugged out of the sleeves of the gown and stood on the floor in nothing but white socks. She was casual about her nudity, but in a way that was child-like, rather than cynical. She didn’t act like a street girl who had been naked around too many men. She was a beautiful young woman who had no clue how beautiful she was. Serena had been that way once, too, but it was so long ago that she couldn’t remember the feeling.

Cat stepped into white panties and then pulled up her gray sweatpants and tightened the drawstring. Half-dressed, she reached into one of her boots and took a gold chain into her hand. She slid the chain over her head and under her flowing hair to nestle at her neck. The gold dangled down her chest, and at the end of the chain, between the girl’s breasts, Serena saw a pretty, jeweled ring.

‘What’s that?’ she asked.

Cat cupped the ring in her palm. ‘Oh, that. My father gave that to me. It’s the only thing I have from him, so I always wear it.’

‘May I see it?’

‘Sure.’

She removed the chain from around her neck. With the tiniest hesitation, she put it in Serena’s hand, where the ring sat in the middle of a coiled nest of gold. Serena took the ring and pinched it between two fingers and held it near her eyes, where it sucked light like a magnet from the entire room. The ring itself was actually two rings twisted together, one with prongs cradling diamonds, the other with prongs cradling square-cut emeralds.

‘Your father gave this to you?’ Serena murmured.

‘Yes.’

‘When did he do that?’

‘A couple of nights before he died. Mother didn’t know about it. He would sneak into my room sometimes late at night, because that was the only time he could see me. He wasn’t supposed to come near us. He said if anyone knew, they’d send him away again, and I didn’t want that. So it was our secret. That last time, he gave me the ring. He said I couldn’t show it to anyone, but this way, I would always have something to remind me that he loved me. I suppose I should have thrown it away after what he did, but I couldn’t.’

Serena stared at the ring. The light from the jewels, with all their reflections, was hypnotic. The ring teased her and laughed at her, as if to say: See? I was here all along. She didn’t think she’d ever had a moment in her life of such shocking clarity. A moment where something cloudy and confused became so simple. She also knew, without any doubt, that the ring in her hand was cursed. It was evil. Without some kind of exorcism, it would destroy more lives.

‘It’s pretty, isn’t it?’ Cat went on, unaware of the strange dance between Serena and the ring. ‘I know it’s ten-dollar Walgreen’s paste, but I love it. I’d be lost without it.’

Serena’s fingers closed around the ring in a tight fist, as if it could be suffocated from lack of air.

‘It’s not paste,’ she told Cat, ‘and I’ve seen it before.’