The Hands-Off Manager: How to Mentor People and Allow Them to Be Successful

Only coming up with a whole new system will ever truly affect the outcome. One simply must focus on what could be, rather than what has been.

When you observe children on a playground, almost nothing makes them more spirited and inspired than when one of the kids stands up and says, “Hey, I’ve got an idea!” And everybody comes alive.

“Oh, what?”

And the kid says, “Let’s build a tree fort!”

“Yes!”

They’re actually using all three worlds: the first world is the spirit, the inspiration (“I’ve got an idea!”); the second world is the mind (“Let’s build a tree fort!”); and the third world is the physical manifestation, the actual tree fort. There’s nothing more inspiring than a fresh idea. That’s how tree forts get built. Because everybody gets inspired by the idea, and the tree fort is what you see at the end.

What happens in most workplaces is that everybody walks around grumbling because there isn’t a tree fort, and there isn’t a good compensation plan, and the IT system’s software isn’t right—all the focus is on the physical world, which is always perceived to be inadequate. They focus on what they have already manifested, instead of the fresh idea that would change everything.

Most micromanagers we work with are so busy trying to repair the already-sinking Titanic that they can’t sit still for this teaching. “Spirit?” they say. “I’m dealing with real world problems here! Go back to California!” But this is exactly the insight they need. Knowing about and utilizing all three worlds would change everything for them.

When the world of quantum physics expanded people’s minds, it lifted the world out of the old-school Newtonian cause-and-effect belief system. It disproved the crudely mechanical explanations of infinite, creative time and space. It opened the mind.

It’s time the workplace had the same open-minded revolution.

Take a look at Duane’s chart on the next page as a reminder of how the three worlds inside us relate to each other. Note that intuition is the mind’s link to the world of spirit, and the five senses are the mind’s link to the physical world. Everything that is happening in our lives is experienced through our judgments, attitudes, and beliefs, and the mind is the controlling factor. It is the bridge between concept and manifestation.

The creative process—understanding all three worlds. Most of what is happening is unseen.

Intuition and the five senses are the links between the three worlds.



Steps to hands-off success in your life

Three action steps to take after reading this chapter:

1. List three things in the outer world of the workplace you don’t like. Three systems or situations you wish were different.

2. Under each item write the words “spirit,” “mind,” and “body.”

3. Trace each manifestation back to its original impulse (spirit)—what was it initially thought to accomplish?—and then trace it to Mind (the thoughts and plans that went into it) and see if you can come up with new systems.





CHAPTER SIXTEEN

THE HANDS-OFF MANAGER AS COACH

Our chief want in life is to find someone who will make us do what we can.

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

Morale in the workplace is the creation of the leader. He or she coaches it into existence. Or doesn’t. But morale is not just an accidental climate that comes in on the wind.

A manager we’ll call Tony was a gifted project manager who oversaw construction sites for Duane many years ago. His skills and intellect were exceptional, but Tony was not happy in his work.

Two upper managers who came to review Tony’s progress in monthly update meetings were relentlessly critical and questioning of Tony’s decisions, and Tony was too sensitive a person to let it go.

The quality of his work began to deteriorate to levels that were unacceptable. He justified his shortcomings by saying that these two managers were interfering with his well-being. He couldn’t stand the criticism.

Finally, Duane had had enough. He knew that compassionate listening had run its course, and it was time to upgrade the coaching to the tough-love level.

“Tony, I want to ask you a question,” Duane said.

Tony said nothing.

“Has there ever been a time when these two managers’ comments were deliberately designed to hurt you and undermine your work?”

“No,” Tony said, after some hesitation.

Duane continued, “Has there ever been anything they have communicated to you that wasn’t intended to make you more successful at getting the job done?”

“I suppose not, no,” said Tony.

“So it’s a matter of style, then,” said Duane. “You are reacting emotionally, not to what they are communicating, but the way in which they say the words.”

“If you put it that way, I guess I am.”

“Then I’m going to ask you for something. I’m going to ask you to grow up. I’m going to ask you to learn a more mature way to reformat what they are saying so that you can hear it as support and not as a threat to you.”

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