That’s the way of the mind. And that’s the way the hands-off manager uses it. Successful ideas will come to you once you learn to trust that process.
To put it another way, the fundamental key to success now becomes self-trust and belief in yourself. Belief that you’ve already got everything you need inside you.
That’s not an egotistical point of view, because it’s not coming from an “I’m better than you” orientation. Instead, it comes from “I have this life in me just as you do, and I’m trusting this life. Therefore success is coming through me. You can do the same thing!”
When you become successful, others notice. They notice that you use a hands-off approach with yourself. You don’t worry yourself to death. You don’t stress out over deadlines. You don’t try to seek the approval of others. You don’t try to anticipate what others think of you. You don’t use fear as your personal motivator.
Soon your example of fearless success becomes an invitation to others, not a basis of comparison to show them where their weaknesses are.
Talking the other day to a manager about his inner talent prompted him to say, “Well, you know, you’ve coached me in this over the years, and I’d like to believe you, but you’re masterful at it. I don’t really think I could do what you do. You’ve got a unique personality.”
What a laugh! But when you are a mentor who has become successful you will encounter this quite often. People will want to put you on a pedestal because they assume your position is due to the strength of your personality—a personality they think they just don’t have. This is your perfect opportunity to set them straight and get them on board. You might say to that doubting person, “Remember that analysis you did for me on that difficult property two years ago? Man, that was a good job. And remember that outline you prepared for me on the land plan for that project? That was incredible. You have such a gift. If only you could believe that the same gift that you exhibited on that exercise is also possible from you in what you’re trying to do now. Imagine what you could accomplish.”
The hands-off manager sets the stage for success by always taking employees back to their own personal experiences of success. When encouraging them to believe in their own greatness, you can’t make it theoretical. You have to take them back to something they have done that they’re proud of and that they were acknowledged for. Remind them of how they made a difference, and point out to them the skill set they have already exhibited. This factual evidence is what nurtures the self-belief in them that you want.
It’s amazing how many people can shift to higher levels of success once they are mentored this way.
One company leader was skeptical and asked, “Isn’t your approach to management a little soft? I mean, if all my managers become hands-off, how can I drive performance and hold people accountable?”
But this is not a soft or passive approach. Our experience shows increases in energy and productivity when a hands-off approach is used. It holds people more accountable for high performance, not less. It is not patient with people whining and playing victim. It has no room for self-pitying complaints.
And sometimes a hands-off manager can be “hard” on team players to wake them up to their power. You do want to get their attention. So you might say, “Look, this is ridiculous. You’re one of the most talented guys I’ve ever worked with. I’ve watched you perform at a level that was truly exceptional. And now you’re stumbling over this? This is not acceptable. It shouldn’t be acceptable to you, either. Clearly, judging by what you’ve done in the past, you can do this. And now you’re thinking of excuses as to why you can’t? That’s not going to work. Step up and do what you’ve already proven you have the ability to do. Tell me what I can do to assist you right now.”
When do you take the harder, tough-love line? When you are inspired to do so. It will just occur to you, and you’ll follow your inner prompting.
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If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you’ll be unhappy for the rest of your life.
—Abraham Maslow
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