Stupid Fast

Chapter 59: GRAVEL ASSAULT




I was outside running my laps around the house for maybe a half hour when a car peaked the hill on the main road and began to roll down toward our drive. It was pretty rare for cars to drive out this way, especially after dark. I had a feeling I knew who it was.

I stopped in my tracks, hands on my hips. I was breathing hard, loose-muscled, really pumped. Oh, yeah, I thought. Just do it, jerks. Just trash me.

I slid through the dark, down the side of the drive as fast and smooth as I could. It was a minivan. Come to Papa, I thought. It’s go time. I reached down and grabbed two handfuls of gravel from the driveway and bent into a crouch in the shadows of the ditch. They would pay, these honky trashers of my yard. That’s right. The van slowed to a crawl. I could see the windows were open in front. An easy target.

The van made a turn into our drive. It’s them! I leaped out of the ditch and blackness, screaming like hell. I threw both handfuls of gravel at the passenger window as hard as I could, shouting yahhhh! Because I don’t throw that well, most of the gravel hit the side of the van, but some went in because there was an immediate scream. The van skidded to a halt. Someone cried “I have dirt my eye!” I recognized the voice. Karpinski. That jerk! Gonna shake me out of bed? Girls screamed. I bent and picked up another handful of gravel and reared back ready to let them have it point blank and then I heard Cody’s voice shout “Reinstein, stop! What are you doing?”

I paused.

A girl voice said, “Is Reinstein attacking us?”

“Yeah, he is! I’ve got a piece of gravel in my damn eyeball,” I heard Karpinski say.

I walked up closer and looked in the window. Karpinski sat there barely lit by my house. I could see there was a bunch of dirt on his face (my dirt). He was rubbing his right eye. Cody drove the van across from Karpinski.

“What are you guys doing here?” I asked still mad, but less sure.

“Why are you throwing rocks at my dad’s van, man?” Cody shouted.

“I…I thought you were someone else,” I said.

“Oh, John Spencer and those guys, huh?” Karpinski said, still rubbing his eye.

“Yeah,” I nodded, although I didn’t exactly know what I was nodding about.

“What a bunch of a*sholes. They even came to your party. Cody had to tell them to get the hell out. Total a*sholes.”

“Reinstein,” Cody barked. “Get in the damn van.”

“Um, okay,” I said. Am I the jerk?

The side door slid open, and I stepped in. In the back sat chuckleheaded Jason Reese (“Hey, Rein Stone. How’s it going, man?”) and Abby Sauter and Jess Withrow (“Reinsteeeeeeiiinnnn!”). It was the whole honky all-star crew from my grade.

I sat down on a bench next to Reese.

“Oh, yeah,” he said. “We heard about what Spencer was doing. You should totally kick his ass.”

“Were you going to kill him with your gravel, Reinstein?” Abby asked.

“Yes, I was,” I said very soberly. Oh, no. I’m the jerk.

Cody backed up and began to drive up the main road.

“Why didn’t you come to your party, Rein Stone?” Karpinski turned and said.

“Um.” I thought fast, embarrassed. “I had to protect my property from Spencer. Plus, my phone broke or I would’ve called. My mom has been really sick.”

“Oh, we were wondering why you weren’t getting your messages. Sucks,” Jess said. “Is she okay?”

“Better,” I nodded. “A little.”

“Well, you don’t have to protect your property anymore,” Reese said. “When Cody was kicking Spencer out, Ken Johnson found out what he was doing to you and totally went off. He said he’d beat all those guys stupid if they ever dropped trash even near your place again.”

“Ken Johnson?” I asked. The surprise in my voice wasn’t hidden.

“He feels terrible, man,” Karpinski said. “He came to your party to apologize.”

“Yeah, man,” Cody said, “He told me to say he’s sorry about what he did in the weight room. He freaked himself out, I think. He leaves for Iowa City in the morning or he’d have come with us.”

“Ken Johnson?” I said again.

“Are you deaf?” Karpinski said. “Ken Johnson!”

“And now we bring your party to you!” Abby said.

“Rocky Crotch,” Cody nodded. “I mean…Can you leave your mom?”

“Yeah, yeah. My grandma’s here.”

We rolled past the baseball fields and then the schools and the practice fields and then further east, toward the Mound. Abby and Jess and Reese all laughed. Karpinski and Cody were quiet. I sat there with that feeling I’d had a couple times before during the day. I was also thinking this: Felton Reinstein is seriously paranoid. He jumps to conclusions and is quick to turn on people close to him (such as Peter Yang, Gus, Cody, even Aleah). And also this: Felton Reinstein can’t listen to the voice in his head anymore because it’s most often dead wrong. Talk all you want, voice. I’m not listening.

We pulled up in front of the Mound and parked. Karpinski jumped out of the van and shouted “Rocky Crotch!” Then he slid open the sliding door, letting the four of us out of the back. Cody opened the hatch and pulled out a box. He showed it to me under the light. It was a cake in the shape of a football.

“Kind of looks like a turd,” he said. The message on it was HAPPY 16 REIN STONE.

We climbed halfway up the big M and then crossed over to the middle where the M comes together in a point. The honky all-stars called this the Rocky Crotch because there are big rocks right at the M’s crotch. We sat on those rocks, ate cake, made jokes, talked about nothing, and looked out over the twinkling nighttime lights of Bluffton and the farms around it. Elf land.

It was perfect and great to be with these honkies. It occurred to me that my older self might have been remembering this night the last time I was on the mound. I didn’t say anything about that, of course.

As we were finishing up, Cody said, “Hey, Reinstein, listen.” He paused. He was sort of shaky.

“Okay.”

“You know, we all know about your dad. I guess we’ve always known, you know?”

“Yeah?” I said really quiet.

“I can’t believe I was so mean to you,” Abby said.

“We’ve been talking about it all summer,” Cody said. “We’re so sorry.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Karpinski nodded. Reese nodded too. Jess stared down at her hands.

“We suck, Rein Stone,” Karpinski said.

And then I almost cried like a baby. Almost went donkey. I held it together, but my eyes were really wet. I said, “Thanks. It’s been kind of bad. Not because of you guys. I had a tough childhood.”

“Yeah,” Cody said, quietly.

“And I’m really weird. Seriously,” I said.

“Yeah, you are,” Jess said. She was smiling. “Remember your shiny jewel pouch?”

“Your brother is really, really weird,” Karpinski said.

“He’s a good kid,” I laughed.

“Remember when he was sitting upside down in your driveway?” Karpinski asked, like I wouldn’t remember.

“Yeah,” I laughed. “But you’d like him if you knew him. He’s a good kid!”

“I already like him,” Karpinski said. “He’s your brother.”

“I’m not going to be mean to anybody ever again,” Reese nodded.

“My dad said because he’s a cop and he sees weird stuff all the time that everybody’s weird,” Cody said.

“I’m not,” Abby said.

“What are you talking about, Sauter? Everything that comes out of your mouth is weird,” Cody said.

“You mean psycho,” said Karpinski.

“Shut up!” Abby said.

“No, really. You’re psycho,” Cody laughed.

“I have to go home,” Reese said. “Dad is waiting up for me so he can smell my breath.”

“That’s disgusting,” Jess said.

“See, he’s weird too,” Abby said.

We walked down from Rocky Crotch, laughing and pushing, and then drove back to town.

When Cody dropped me off, he made me take the rest of the cake. All the lights were on in the house. Instead of going in through the garage, I climbed up the steps and went in the front door into the living room. Grandma Berba and Jerri were up and waiting for me.

Grandma stood as I entered.

“Where have you been, Felton Reinstein?” she shouted.

“We almost called the police, Felton” Jerri said. She looked shaky.

I tilted the box so they could see the half-eaten cake.

“Um, my friends threw me a surprise party,” I said.

“Oh,” Grandma tilted her head. “That’s sweet.”

“Is Gus back?” Jerri asked. “Did Peter pick you up?”

“Cody Frederick, Karpinski, Reese, Jess Withrow, and Abby Sauter,” I said.

“Abby Sauter?” Jerri’s mouth hung open.

“Stop, Jerri. I liked her in middle school. We’re just friends.”

“Middle school was only two years ago. How am I supposed to keep track?” Jerri said.

I went downstairs and washed my face. Then before I went to bed, I climbed back upstairs. Grandma was brushing her teeth and standing in front of Jerri. Jerri was talking, and Grandma was nodding. I interrupted, and they both looked at me.

“Couple things. One, there won’t be any more trash. Ken Johnson told the guys who were doing it he’d kill them if they didn’t stop.”

“You don’t like Ken Johnson,” Jerri said.

“He’s all right.”

“Well, that’s a blessing,” Grandma said.

“Second, I’ll go on the route on my bike tomorrow morning. I have to exercise because football starts next week. So sleep in, Grandma.”

“Another blessing!” Grandma said. “We’ll go to the airport to drop off your mother after you get back.”

Jerri looked down at the floor. It was so strange to think she was going away.

“Okay. “ I nodded. “Just one other thing. I just want to say it’s been a bad week and everything, but that was the best birthday I’ve ever had. Thank you.”

Grandma nodded at me. Jerri looked up, smiling across her whole face like she was at the Strawberry Festival.

When I think of her now, that’s the picture I have in my head.