Sparks the Matchmaker

CHAPTER 16

The night was dark, the single light above their heads illuminating only the front porch of Joy’s apartment. Still, Ollie could see and read everything her eyes wanted to tell him. She faced him and smiled, let go of his hand so she could put her arms around him, and pulled herself close to his broad chest. Joy didn’t seem, to Ollie anyway, to be the type of girl who would shy away from what she felt, what she wanted— so when she relaxed her embrace and lifted her head to look into his eyes, he thought he knew exactly what she was thinking.

As much as he wanted to kiss her; as much as he wanted to close what little distance was left between his lips and hers, he held back. He could feel her warm breath on his chin. He wanted to kiss her, badly. But Keith’s words reverberated within him: I never kiss a girl for the first time on her doorstep.

And it was true. The doorstep kiss always feels like you’re doing that because you don’t know how else to end the evening. Why not make it someplace a little more memorable?

They stood on her doorstep, locked in the moment. He pulled her closer, but his eyes were drawn away toward the clear October night sky. He looked at her beautiful face, those stars shining in her deep eyes as they continued to present him with the opportunity for the first kiss. It was obvious she wanted him to take it, but he didn’t take it.

“Thanks for a fun evening,” Joy said, the awkwardness of his refusal to kiss her present in the tone of her voice.

Ollie smiled at her. “I’m not ready to say goodnight yet,” he said softly. “Wanna go for a walk?”

She smiled. “I’d love to.”

The night kept getting colder with each step, so Joy pulled the hood of her sweatshirt up. She then pulled Ollie’s arm around her, jamming his hand into her sweatshirt’s front pocket along with her own. He felt a mixture of excitement and nerves all jumbled into one; augmenting with each step that carried him farther away from her doorstep but closer to that first kiss. Don’t mess this up.

“I’m not ready for winter,” she said. “I’ve never liked the cold.”

“You’re from Colorado. I bet it gets pretty cold there.”

“Yeah, but I haven’t even lived there since I was 17.”

“You know, I never really asked— who was it you were visiting when we were there?”

“Just a friend.”

“What kind of friend? Was she your best friend in high school or something?”

“Well, I saw pretty much everyone that I used to hang out with. The ones who still live there, anyway. I had a lot of friends, once upon a time.”

“But not after you moved to St. Louis? I find that hard to believe. I bet you made friends there pretty quick.”

“No, I kinda turned into a shut-in. I kept to myself for a few years after we moved.”

“Even at school?”

“I stopped going to school. I only had a few months left and I didn’t want to go to a new school, so I just went a different route and got my GED instead. So I never really met any new people after we moved.”

Her tone had changed. He could sense a new negativity in her mood, and after only a matter of seconds. Was it something I said? Instead of getting to know each other better, he now felt like he was prying into her personal life.

They continued their walk, but the night kept aging, getting colder. Words continued to come out of their mouths, but the conversation was stale now. They eventually wandered their way back to her doorstep.

“Thanks again for the circus, Ollie. I loved seeing you around Greg and Marie. You’re a good man.”

Ollie was dumbstruck; he couldn’t help but wear an awkward smirk on his face. She wasn’t wrapping her arms around him this time. She wasn’t pulling herself into him or closing the distance between her mouth and his; he couldn’t smell her sweet warm breath on his face. She resisted eye contact, staring at the concrete below their feet.

The kiss had been abandoned on the walk— before that, really. I don’t know what I did, but I blew it. “Thank you for coming. I had a great time tonight,” Ollie said. The things people say. “All except for the part where Greg escaped.” I guess this is how tonight ends.

Joy laughed at the reference to Greg. It was not her usual energetic laugh, but it was there, a little laugh nonetheless; a tiny sliver of Joy’s lively personality showing through. “Yeah, all except for that.” She pulled her hands out of the front pocket of her sweatshirt and wrapped them around Ollie’s middle, pulling him in close and squeezing him.

Ollie’s left arm reached fully around her while his right hand held the back of her head into his chest, gently running his fingers through her hair. He knew that the woman he held in his arms wasn’t ready for love. This was not an embrace destined to escalate into a passionate first kiss. No, her embrace said simply, “I hurt, and I just need to know you’re here.”

Ollie held on tight, not knowing what her pain was about, but he understood this wasn’t the time for questions. He held on as long as she needed. After a long while, she finally released him and turned, stepping into her apartment, not allowing him to see her eyes.

Ollie grabbed the porch rail for support. He was breathless. The numb fingers of one hand gripped the Yankees cap in his back pocket and transferred it to his head as he stared at Joy’s front door.

When he turned to face the cold dark night, there was Sparks, standing on the sidewalk.