Sometime Soon

twenty-four



I wake up the next morning wondering if I’d imagined those phone calls from last night, but knowing I haven’t. It feels good to go through my morning routine, stopping for my large coffee on the way to work, and even seeing Joan’s placid face as I walk past and she calls out “early today” which I am. I haven’t slept very well; therefore I’ve gotten an early start this morning, eager to get out of the house.

The office is quiet as I get settled at my desk and boot up my computer. I check my personal email after skimming my work emails and see that I have a message from Karthik. My heart immediately starts to race. I click it open only to see a brief note asking me to call him. I write down the number, grab my purse, go downstairs and outside to the sidewalk. He picks up on the second ring.

“We’re ready to make you an offer,” he tells me.

“Really?”

“So, you’re interested?” he asks.

“I am,” I reply, purposely calming down. Sounding too eager wouldn’t be good.

“I know you put down what you’re currently making on the job application, and we’ve got your references. You’ve been made aware of the benefits?”

“Yes.”

“Good. We can bring you in here with a three percent bump in your salary. How would that be?”

“Well,” I begin, trying to play it cool, “BTS hasn’t given me a raise in some time. I think I’m very underpaid right now. I would really need to be making more money.” I take a breath.

“Well, here’s what we’re prepared to do.” Then he adds about twelve grand to amount we started at.

“That’s as far as they’ll go?” I ask calmly, even though I’m thrilled.

“Yes,” he says. “Don’t forget, there will be a stock package, too.”

“That could work for me then,” I answer evenly in spite of my accelerating heart rate.

“If we can get the written offer to you by the end of this week, you could give your notice by Friday and start here two weeks later.”

“Thank you Karthik,” I tell him sincerely. “This is a great opportunity, and I really appreciate it.”

“You’ve earned it,” he replies.

Rather than going back to my desk I call Mom, and then I call Laura, and I give them both the news. Then I catch my dad on the golf course, and I tell him, too. After swearing about hitting a slice into trees, he tells me he’s proud of me.

I’m giddy now as the horrible feelings of the previous evening are almost completely erased by today’s events. I still feel too restless with excitement to go back to my desk, and I consider calling Bryn to meet me at Starbucks. But then I think of Mike and his new living arrangement, and I know I don’t want to discuss that with Bryn today.

It’s a bright, crisp fall afternoon, and I decide to take a walk. I stroll through the park, past the mall, and over to the river. It’s too early for the leaves to be changing, but it isn’t too early for the college students to invade Cambridge. Crew teams are practicing on the Charles River, and I listen to the calls and watched their oars slice through the calm water.

My professional life is going gangbusters, and my personal life is going nowhere. But this is pretty much the status quo for me. And maybe there’s nothing wrong with that. I just have to learn to be satisfied with what I have. Maybe the universe is telling me something. Not everyone is meant to be married. The effort I put into my career is paying off nicely, but that same effort, when applied to my personal relationships, has produced absolutely nothing. Well, maybe not nothing. I hope I’m learning from my experiences. But what am I learning? That I don’t want to date ever again? Perhaps that isn’t the best lesson to take away here. I know that Laura wants me to learn to be less critical, but I don’t think I am too critical. I can’t settle for someone who doesn’t treat me well. I can’t compromise on respect and honesty. If the right person ever does come along, I hope I’ll recognize him, and he’ll recognize me, and all the other stuff will just fall into place.

As I watch the college students grunt and pull on their oars, I think how they have their whole lives ahead of them, with all the possibilities. In a way, I envy them, but I also know that I don’t want to go back to that stage of my life. I’m in a good place now. I’ve accomplished a great deal in the last decade or so. I can be satisfied with that, even if those around me cannot.