Shadow Woman A Novel

Chapter Eighteen



Instead of working her way out of the city, Lizzy worked her way in. D.C. was a big, crowded city teeming with people: tourists, politicians, everyday residents living their lives. She could blend in if she had to. There was abundant public transportation, especially in the heart of the city, but there was no way she could risk the Metro. There were too many cameras, and too few exits if she was cornered.

Thank goodness she had some cash. Her paranoia—which had not been paranoia at all, as it turned out—had served her well.

She strode down the sidewalk as if she knew where she was going. Her mind churned. What the hell good were all her supplies, when she’d left them at home? Damn it, she should have put everything in the backpack and thrown it in her car. Yeah, she’d had to dump her car, but … oh, hell, she was second-guessing herself. Would she have had the opportunity to swing by her car, grab the backpack, and take off again? As things had played out, no. She’d screwed up. She should have taken the backpack into the restaurant with her. A lot of people used backpacks in the city; she wouldn’t have stood out.

But now those things were as lost to her as if they were locked in a vault somewhere, and she’d wasted the money buying them. She didn’t dare go home. If the bad guys didn’t get her there, the police would. She was a car thief, and, oh, yeah, she’d also committed assault while stealing the guy’s car, so she was pretty sure that had moved her into a whole different category of criminal. She wasn’t just a thief, she was a dangerous thief. Yeah, home was pretty much out of the question.

Which begged the question: were they the bad guys, or was she? If she couldn’t remember, how was she to know? She might have done something really horrible in the past. After all, she seemed to be pretty good at evasive driving, and she was drawn to hunting knives and guns and pepper spray. Why?

She waited for the question to trigger a headache, but nothing happened.

No, she had to be logical about this. They had obviously known exactly how to find her. If she was such a bad guy, why wouldn’t they have done something before now?

Instead they’d waited, and watched. Nothing had happened until she’d started remembering. Despite her best efforts to act normal, she’d done things out of the ordinary, such as ditching the people following her, destroying her cell phone and not turning on the replacement, and oh yeah, let’s not forget the surprise trip into Virginia. To anyone on the alert for such clues, she’d practically taken out a billboard.

Hindsight was so crystal clear, which did her a hell of a lot of good. She should have done nothing for several days, maybe even a week or so. Crap.

Moaning about it didn’t do her a damn bit of good. She needed to figure out what she should do now, under the circumstances as they were rather than what she wished they were.

Her first instinct was to run, to get as far away from the area as possible, but wouldn’t they be expecting that? Good guys or bad guys, they would be expecting her to run.

She needed time to think, time to get her bearings and come up with a plan.

The woman she’d become, the boring, predictable woman whose face she didn’t recognize as her own, would be in a panic now. But the woman she’d been before, the woman who was trying to come through, that woman wouldn’t panic. She knew the value of control, calm … a plan.

She felt as if she were divided into two people: Lizette who never did anything, and … who? Who was she, really?

Lizzy.

The name sounded in her mind like an echo from far away, so faint she could barely hear it. Instantly pain shot through her head, but it faded almost before she could begin focusing on something else.

Did this mean … hell, she had no idea what this could mean. She remembered her parents sometimes calling her Lizzy, so that wasn’t exactly a missing memory. In college she’d been Liz, but … somewhere along the way she’d morphed into Lizzy, so had she somewhere along the way morphed back into Lizette? Why couldn’t she remember exactly when?

Because it had been something gradual, something that had just happened, rather than an event. “Lizzy” felt right, though. “Lizette” now felt like a shoe that pinched. Too bad the two were still at war; she knew she needed to do something, but what?

Follow your instincts. They’ve gotten you this far.

She was a target; she knew that. She didn’t know who was after her, or why, but she knew she had to find a way to hide. There would be no going home, no calls to friends, no retrieving her car. She’d never go to work again, never walk or jog around that familiar block. Whoever was after her knew what she looked like, but at the moment they didn’t know where she was. How long before that changed?

On instinct, she swerved into the next drugstore she passed. She smiled at the cashier near the front door, grabbed a basket, and started shopping. Hair dye? No. Her hair was brown, a common color. Hair that was obviously dyed would stand out, and they might be on the lookout for that, they might expect her to go blond or red. Instead she bought hairpins, so she could pin her hair up. That would disguise the length and style, and was preferable to a bad haircut accomplished with a pair of scissors in front of a hotel room mirror.

Scissors might come in handy, though. She selected a good, sturdy pair and put them in the basket. Scissors weren’t as good as the knife she’d left behind, but were better than nothing. The drugstore didn’t stock hunting knives or pepper spray, damn it.

She also got a hat with a wide brim, which would come in handy not only in hiding her face, but in protecting her from the heat of the summer sun. She bought an oversized tee shirt, cheap tennis shoes, and socks. The store didn’t stock any pants, but thank goodness she’d worn pants to work that morning instead of a skirt. They would suffice until she could do more shopping. She also tossed a cheap, oversized purse into her basket, along with some travel-sized toiletries and a pair of too-big sunglasses.

They—whoever the hell they might be—were looking for a frightened middle-class businesswoman on the run. That meant she had to be someone else.

She could do that, she thought with an unusual surge of confidence. She could be someone else.

She’d done it before.



Because he knew where Lizzy was, thanks to the trackers in her wallet and cell phone, Xavier didn’t rush to intercept her. She was okay, for now; she’d be scared and confused, but given the evidence that she was regaining her memory, likely not as much as an ordinary citizen would be. She’d given Felice’s men the slip, and been smart enough to abandon her car, so now they had no way of tracking her. She hadn’t been hurt, and she’d acted decisively. Giving her time to settle down some seemed like a good idea. He’d never hear the end of it if she managed to take him down, too—and she had, in the past; not often, but he knew better than to let his guard down around her.

He had to dump his truck and secure other transportation, and that took time. J.P.’s car was out, because Felice’s people would pick him up again when he went back to the condo. He might get away with leaving from J.P.’s garage instead of his regular unit, but why take the chance when he could get to the motorcycle in the same length of time? On the motorcycle, he could go faster and get into tighter places, be completely anonymous, and the helmet would prevent any facial recognition program from nailing him.

If he knew Felice, the failure of her assassination teams—both of them—would make her double down in her efforts. Whether or not Al had been in on it was debatable; probably not, or outside teams wouldn’t have been used, but with Al it was always best not to assume you knew what he’d do in any given situation. Briefly he thought about calling Al, but in the end decided the call would be a waste of time. Even if Al wasn’t in on the attempts, by now he’d know about them, and what he did from here on out was his call. Whether he was teaming with Felice or not, what he’d say to Xavier would be the same thing in both instances, therefore nothing was to be gained. In any case, Xavier would rather let them worry about the complete lack of contact from him. Felice would be scurrying to beef up her protection, and her daughter’s protection, which would pull some of her resources away from actually locating Lizzy. Good enough. Felice would pay, but not right now. Lizzy was his current priority. He’d get to Felice in his own time.

He checked Lizzy’s location again; she’d been steadily working her way toward downtown, but she’d finally stopped. He tapped a key, zoomed in on her location. Drugstore.

A big drugstore was kind of like a department store these days. She could pick up any number of items that she’d need, such as a change of clothes, sunglasses, maybe not any kitchen knives but there would definitely be scissors, nail files, things like that. She might change her hair color. There were a lot of possibilities, and he’d taught her most of them, though she’d probably come up with a new wrinkle on her own. Being on the run was tiring; not the physical effort so much as the state of hyper-alertness, watching everyone around you, gauging every move, seeing everything as a potential threat. He himself could go for days, with a little chemical help, but Lizzy was out of practice. She was going to wear out soon, and find a place to go to ground. He watched the two blinking dots that marked her location.

She was on the move again. He’d get his motorcycle, do some reconnoitering on his own to get a solid sense of what Felice was doing; then he’d go to Lizzy.



She couldn’t very well stop and change her appearance in the middle of the street, but she did put on the wide-brimmed hat and sunglasses. That would help to hide her face from any cameras she walked past. She was tired, but she had to keep moving. Her legs ached; she’d worked up a sweat, and the adrenaline burn had disappeared, leaving her feeling limp and wrung out. She wanted nothing more than to find a place to sleep.

Buck up, girl. This is no time to be weak. She had to keep her wits, not let her exhaustion lead her to take shortcuts that could leave her vulnerable.

But she did need somewhere to stay, so she focused on her situation. There were a lot of hotels near the tourist attractions, but none that would rent her a room without ID and a credit card. She needed a place that would rent her a room for cash. No hotel would go for that, unless…

Unless she found a place with an impressionable or bribable desk clerk. It would have to be a small place, not the best hotel in town—not even a moderately decent hotel. She needed to find a one-star or no-star hotel that was independently owned, desperate for business. She walked some more, until the area she found herself in was not exactly nice—but not exactly the pits, either. This little cluster of less-than-magnificent motels was maybe five miles from the Mall.

Though she was so tired she was almost stumbling, she still made herself walk around the motels, examining the layout of the rooms, the parking lots, the points of access and egress. None of the places was perfect, but an older, redbrick establishment met most of her requirements. Number one, there weren’t many cars in the parking lot, so they might be amenable to trading cash for discretion. The rooms all opened up to the parking lot; she didn’t want to be stuck in a room with nothing but a narrow hallway beyond her door. And the fact that the place was old meant there were actual windows in the bathrooms. The windows were high and small enough that she’d have trouble fitting through, if it came to that, but if things were desperate enough that she needed to go out the window, she’d do it if she had to strip off and slick shampoo all over herself to squeeze through.

Something else in the motel’s favor: it was here. She was tired, she was hungry, and her arms ached from carrying the drugstore shopping bag. It hadn’t seemed all that heavy at first, but the weight was wearing on her. And the longer she was out in the open looking like, well—herself—the more danger she was in.

She looked in the office window. The desk clerk was a young woman, thank goodness. A woman was more likely to empathize with a hard-luck story, and she wouldn’t expect a blow job in return for a favor. The clerk looked bored and impressionable. Both factors would play in Lizzy’s favor.

She opened the door and took off her hat, heaving a little sigh as she approached the desk.

“May I help you?” the clerk asked, her face brightening at the prospect of an actual customer.

“Yes, I’d like a room. Ground floor, if you have it.” Given the small number of cars in the parking lot, a ground-floor room should be available.

The clerk—her name tag read Cindy—smiled and tapped her computer keys. “How many nights will you be with us?”

This was where it would get tricky. “Just one.”

“Great! I’ll just need your driver’s license and a credit card.”

Lizzy bit her bottom lip. Her picture might have been shown on TV by now. Maybe not. Would they bother with breaking news for a stolen car and a car chase? Would they show her driver’s license picture? Had she even been identified yet? Fortunately there was no television in the tiny lobby, and even if there had been, Cindy didn’t look as if she’d care much about the news. Soap operas, maybe, or reruns of game shows.

“Cash,” she replied, digging for her wallet. “I don’t have a credit card.”

Cindy paused, wrinkled her nose. “The owner says there has to be a credit card on record, in case of damages to the room.”

Lizzy paused, as if considering the problem rather than dismissing it. “I can give you an extra deposit,” she finally said. She didn’t want to spend more money than necessary, so she said, “Twenty dollars? Thirty? When I check out in the morning you could inspect the room and give the deposit back, so I’m okay with doing that.” Meaning she didn’t intend to be doing anything that could possibly damage anything in the old building.

“Well … that might be all right. I’ll just need your driver’s license.”

This was the really tricky part. Lizzy tensed and put an anxious expression on her face. “I—uh—I’d really like to not have my name on the record.”

Cindy immediately shook her head and sighed. “We don’t do that. Sorry.”

Lizzy let her lower lip tremble. “I understand. I just … it’s my husband. I can’t let him find me. I have a way out of town, and once I’m away from D.C. I think I’ll be safe, but … but that won’t happen until tomorrow.”

Cindy’s blue eyes got big. “Husband?”

Lizzy nodded. She let her real fear and anxiety show through.

“You could call the cops …”

She gave a bitter laugh. “He’s a city politician. He knows … too many people. I can’t trust the police.” And wasn’t that the truth, she thought wryly.

Cindy looked at her computer, pursed her lips, and sighed again. Lizzy was already wondering where she could try next—she couldn’t go much farther—when the woman said, “Maybe … 107 isn’t rentable right now because the last person who stayed there punched a hole in the wall and pulled the towel rack right out of the wall, and the damages haven’t been repaired yet. I could put you there, for one night. Just one,” she repeated, shaking a finger for emphasis.

“Oh, God, that’d be great! Thank you!” Lizzy said fervently, opening her wallet and taking care to keep it turned so Cindy couldn’t see the credit cards in their slots. Before she could pull out any cash, though, Cindy said, “Nah, keep it.”

Lizzy raised her eyebrows slightly as she looked across the counter.

“My mom’s second husband was a real a*shole. I get it.”

It was a symptom of her fatigue that her eyes burned with tears at the young woman’s kindness. In spite of that, she pulled out a hundred-dollar bill and pushed it across the counter. She didn’t trust loyalty she hadn’t bought, didn’t want to owe anyone anything. “Thanks, but take it.” She wiped her eyes and managed a weak smile. “It’s his money, anyway. I’d like to spread it around while I can.”

Cindy shrugged and took the hundred. It would probably go into her own pocket, which was okay; her job likely paid minimum wage, and every buck counted. She slid a key card across to Lizzy, who slipped it into her pocket as she gave the clerk another thank-you smile and headed out the door.

She was nowhere near home free, but she had a place to spend the night, and that was more than she’d had five minutes ago.



Anger wasn’t a new emotion for Felice, but control was essential in her job and it had been a very long time since she’d allowed herself to show much emotion at all. Normally that wasn’t a problem; right now, though, her temper was so white hot and intense she could barely contain herself, and it kept bubbling dangerously close to the surface. She had to appear as if nothing had gone wrong; she had to smile at her secretary as she walked out of her office—it was always a tight smile, but a smile nonetheless—and nod to the guard at the gate as she drove out of the parking lot. She ignored everyone in between.

Son of a bitch! How could something so simple go so wrong? All she’d gotten was an innocuous text on her burner cell: The project failed. She didn’t get the details, and that was what she needed to know asap. She couldn’t think everything had gone wrong, so what portion of it had failed? Lizette would have been the easy part; the odds were the team put on Xavier had failed, and getting him had been the most important task. She’d strongly emphasized that, requested very good people. Now, if the worst-case scenario had come true, a very angry Xavier was on the loose and hunting.

It struck her how vulnerable she was right now, driving home alone, unprotected. She had defensive driving skills, but her handgun was at home. Her normal job didn’t require firearms. Even if she had it with her now, if Xavier came after her, her only chance of survival would be sheer luck. Felice didn’t trust luck. She trusted control, meticulous planning, and preparation.

She gripped the steering wheel so tightly her knuckles turned white. It took every ounce of self-control she possessed to stick to the speed limit. She needed to get home as fast as possible, but a delay if she got stopped for speeding would cost her more time than this relatively slow speed. She needed to make a call, and she didn’t dare do so if there was even the most remote chance that anyone would overhear. Her home, office, and car were swept often for bugs, but she wasn’t foolish enough to believe that she could speak freely anywhere in this town, especially now.

She’d been pleased with the planning and preparation. The plan had evidently fallen apart in execution, though. Damn it! She’d been assured that only top-notch people would be used. Evidently, instead of the A-Team, she’d gotten the B-Team—and “B” stood for “Bozos.”

Despite her tension, she reached home without incident. Still, the tight feeling between her shoulder blades didn’t ease until she had parked in the garage and lowered the door. Even then, she carefully examined every corner of the garage before she got out of the car. She knew what Xavier was capable of, and she didn’t take anything for granted. When she unlocked the door and entered, the alarm system began its warning beep; she punched in the code, relocked the door, then went straight to the den and got her weapon from the desk drawer. She checked every room in the house before she dared let her guard down. Until this was over, she’d have to be very careful.

Then she retrieved the burner cell phone from her purse. She’d have to get a new one; they were intended for one-time use—hence the term “burner,” though of course sloppy people disobeyed that protocol all the time. She’d never thought she would be one of those people, but she didn’t have time to get a new phone and she needed to know exactly what had happened.

She took both the gun and the phone into her bathroom. She turned on the water in the whirlpool tub, then flipped the switch that activated the modern rock-and-water feature in the corner. Normally the sound of the rushing water was very soothing to her, but now she didn’t notice it other than as a means to an end. When the tub was full enough, she turned on the whirlpool motor. She stood between the tub and the waterfall; anyone who was trying to listen in would have a hell of a time trying to make out words over the white noise.

She made the call. When her contact answered she said tersely, “What happened?”

There was a short pause. Maybe he was trying to come up with some reasonable excuse for his failure, but in the end he said simply, “Both projects failed.”

Felice was stunned. “Both?” Good God, how could that happen? Xavier was a difficult proposition at any time, but the other should have been a cakewalk. This was worse than the worst-case scenario. “How is that possible, unless your people are completely incompetent?”

“The attempt was at a restaurant. The owner decided to play hero with a shotgun. My men got away, but they missed the target.”

“You colossal f*ckup.” She was so angry she could barely speak. She seldom resorted to vulgarity, but she was the one who could pay a very large price for this man’s failure. He could shrug and move on to other clients, while she was left to deal with a catastrophe.

“The shotgun wasn’t expected. Things happen.”

“I expect your men to do as they’re instructed.” Lizette should be dead. For God’s sake, she was barely human! Okay, that was an exaggeration. But you couldn’t wipe away a portion of someone’s memories and a chunk of her basic makeup and expect her to continue to function at her previous level. Getting to her should have been child’s play. “Tell me they picked her up again.”

“Not yet. She stole a car in the parking lot and got away.”

“So she isn’t in her own car now?” Felice pinched the bridge of her nose. “That doesn’t make sense. Her car was right there; why steal another one?”

“I can’t say, unless she was so panicked she wasn’t thinking.”

“In which case she’d return for her car when she calmed down. Has that happened?”

“No, her car is still sitting at the restaurant.”

Felice looked at the ceiling as she pulled in a deep breath. She’d been right all along, then. The little things out of the ordinary that Lizette had been doing were because, against all odds, she was recovering her memory. It wasn’t supposed to be possible—but they all did things every day that a hundred years ago would have been considered impossible. Even Al wouldn’t be able to explain away leaving a perfectly good car behind and stealing another one.

“There’s more bad news,” continued the deep voice at the other end of the call.

“I suspected as much.” Her voice was tight.

“The team I sent after the other target were both found dead in a park a little more than an hour ago.”

Even though she’d been expecting that, she still felt as if the ground dropped out from under her. She put a hand on the bathroom vanity for support. “I didn’t hear anything about bodies being found this afternoon.” And she would. The NSA heard everything.

“You wouldn’t. We tracked their car when they didn’t check in, found the bodies, and cleaned it up.”

“And the target?”

“He didn’t go home. We haven’t picked him up yet, but we will.”

Scenes from The Terminator flashed before her eyes. Xavier would be like the robot; he would keep on coming no matter what they did, killing everyone who got in his way. That was the downside to providing intense, advanced training to people like him; it was great when he was on your side, but if he ever turned on you—

She had a panic room; she’d installed one five years go. But she couldn’t live there forever, and what about her daughter? This could continue for some time, if Xavier was on the run. Besides, it wasn’t in her nature to hide from trouble. She had to handle this; she had to come up with a plan to finish the mission. Felice grabbed onto her rioting emotions and tamped down the fear she couldn’t afford to wallow in.

“My daughter, Ashley—I want her picked up and secured.”

“If she objects?”

“She can object all she wants; I want her under lock and key until this is done.” Ashley wouldn’t like it, and she was definitely her mother’s daughter, Felice thought; she would carry a grudge for a long time. But she’d take having her daughter angry at her over having to bury her only child any day of the week, without hesitation. Xavier was ruthless. If he couldn’t get to her any other way, he would use her daughter against her. Anything was possible: kidnapping, torture, murder. If the situation were reversed, Felice had no doubt that she’d do whatever was necessary. And if she herself would do it, she had to assume Xavier would go to the same lengths.

She would protect her child at all costs.

The cost would be high. Ashley was independent, or trying to be, and she wouldn’t like being hidden away, missing out on the two summer classes she’d been taking, removed from her friends and all their social activities.

Tough shit. Ashley’s safety was more important than anything else in this world.

“I gave you two assignments, one easy and one admittedly not so easy. You assured me both would be handled, and instead your people have been completely incompetent. The situation is royally screwed up. How are you going to fix this?”

“I have someone in mind,” her contact said. He didn’t even sound urgent. Perhaps he was accustomed to jobs going wrong, which wasn’t a good thing. On the other hand, he did have an impeccable reputation. “If you want to pay the money to get him, he’s a real badass, a specialist in his field. He isn’t required often, but in special circumstances he’s … invaluable.”

Felice didn’t ask how much money he was talking about, because at this point it was immaterial. And if this badass guy was the best, why hadn’t he been employed to do the job in the first place? Deeply annoyed, she snapped, “I don’t care how you get it done, just do it.” She wouldn’t be safe, her daughter wouldn’t be safe, until Xavier was dead. And none of them would be safe until Lizette was in the ground. She should have been put there years ago.

“Yes, ma’am. I’ll get him on the hunt.”

“Call me when my daughter is secured.” She ended the call and stood there in deep thought for a moment, mentally running through scenarios and possibilities. One in particular stood out: if she had to get her hands dirty and take care of matters herself, she was starting with him—and she had no doubt that he was well aware of that fact.