Shades of Passion

CHAPTER NINE

THE DAY AFTER SHE AGREED to participate in Stevens’s shadow program, Nina called Karen about Stevens’s offer. Of course, Karen was thrilled and generous with her compliments despite the fact shadowing Simon had been far from her idea. Nina told her boss that several times, but it didn’t seem to matter to the other woman. Nor did Nina’s concerns about her current patients and the appointments she’d have to miss. Karen assured Nina that she’d look into it and would call Nina back in the morning.

Sure enough, Karen called Nina’s office the next day. “It’s all been arranged. Dr. Anderson and Dr. Rodriguez will work together to cover your geriatric duties over the next week. Now, I promised you drinks. Tell me where you’d like to go. Later, you can fill me in on how next week goes.”

Nina envisioned Karen toasting a victory far too prematurely. “The drinks you promised were conditional on the police giving the program the green light, remember? That hasn’t happened yet, Karen. And we don’t know if it will.”

“I know that,” Karen reassured her. “I’m sure Stevens and his bosses are hoping this little exercise will work out in their favor somehow. The question is, why does Commander Stevens think you’re going to be swayed by this unconventional hookup? Is your little tête-à-tête with Detective Simon Granger a strategic one on Stevens’s part? Is there something you want to tell me, perhaps?”

Karen couldn’t know about her attraction to Simon Granger, but Nina blushed at her deliberate choice of words and insinuating tone anyway. “I can’t possibly speak for Commander Stevens, but he did say Detective Granger had the extra time on his hands.” Pathetic, Nina thought. Even to her own ears she sounded less than convincing.

Karen laughed. “Right. Extra time. And extra sex appeal. The guy’s gorgeous!”

Nina blinked. “How—?”

“I looked him up on the internet,” Karen confessed. “Along with the rest of the SIG detectives. They have their very own webpage. The best of the best. Nice. And I must say, all the men on that team are fine. I can see you and this Simon Granger together. You, with blond hair and green eyes. Him, brown hair and— What color are his eyes? I couldn’t tell on the computer screen.”

“I couldn’t tell you,” Nina said, even as she thought: gray. Like slate, but not as hard. Or smoke, but not as insubstantial. A nice metallic color that could be cool or warm, depending on his mood. Masculine but inviting. The color made her think not of clouds during a storm, but shade from a blistering heat. Protective. Sheltering...

“It doesn’t matter,” Karen said, jolting Nina from her thoughts. “You’d make a striking couple.”

Nina was too horrified to talk at first. She’d been composing a mental poem about the color of Simon Granger’s eyes, and Karen had them practically married. Not good, she thought. So not good.

Her voice was stiffer than she intended when she finally responded to Karen’s teasing. “I’m not looking for a hookup, Karen. And certainly not one with a cop who thinks my job is a joke. Because he does. And despite this little partnership that Stevens has arranged, you know most of the police think what we do is a joke, too.”

“Maybe,” Karen said. “But they also don’t know who they’re dealing with. You’ll bring them around, Nina. You did it before and you’ll do it again.”

Once more, Nina squirmed at Karen’s words. Her boss sounded a little too confident in Nina’s abilities and that confidence made Nina decidedly uncomfortable.

She’d once had that same confidence in herself, but that had been ages ago. When she’d truly thought she could make a difference and not suffer for trying to do so. Now she knew that making a difference came with huge responsibilities. And consequences. She didn’t want the pressure of making lifesaving decisions. That’s why she’d left Charleston and began working with her patients in the first place. But yet here she was, literally about to plunge back into the fire. So be it. But she didn’t want Karen thinking she’d misled her. And she didn’t want her to take too much for granted, either. “I’ll do the best I can, Karen. I’ll shadow this cop. I’ll make my recommendations. But then I’m out. Whether Stevens supports the MHIT proposal or not, I’ll have done all I can do. I want your promise that after my week as Detective Granger’s shadow is over, you’ll handle things on your own from now on. Deal?”

Her words were met with a tense silence. A full minute later, Karen spoke, her voice slightly stiff and far more professional than when she’d teased Nina about Simon. “Okay. If that’s what you want. I appreciate you doing this for me, Nina. I’m sure plenty of other people will, too. Goodbye.”

Nina winced. “Karen—”

Static buzzed on the other line.

Quietly, Nina hung up the phone. Damn it, she hadn’t meant to offend Karen or hurt her feelings. They weren’t overly close, but Nina had always considered Karen a friend. Friends met for drinks. And teased each other about good-looking men. It didn’t always have to be about work between them and that wasn’t even what Nina wanted. But the fact still remained she was feeling pulled between her desire to live a safe and content life, and her instinct to seek a bigger payoff even if it might be at the potential expense of her peace of mind.

All it took to sway her in favor of peace of mind was thinking of the last card Lester Davenport had sent her. And the ones he’d sent before. Because he blamed Nina for his daughter’s death.

Just like Nina’s father blamed her for Rachel’s.

Nina gasped and threw down the mental gates on her thoughts. Where the hell had that thought come from? She hadn’t talked to her father in months, but their relationship was fine. Sure he’d been upset with her when she’d left Charleston, but that had only proved how much he loved her. He didn’t blame her for Rachel’s death. Not really. Those things he’d said to her twenty years ago had been said in grief. He’d apologized again and again. And Nina had forgiven him. She’d forgiven herself—

She jolted at hearing her own labored breaths and at feeling the sting of tears in her eyes. Angrily, she swiped them away. It was a major failing of hers that she cried easily. Stop it right now, Nina. You’re letting your thoughts get away from you. Lester Davenport’s card shook you more than you anticipated, that’s all. But he’s done what he needed to do. She would do the same.

She’d been happy before getting that latest card. And she’d been content with her job before Karen had started riding her about the MHIT program.

She’d call Karen back and arrange to have drinks, she decided. But she wouldn’t back down about the job. She’d committed herself to the shadow program for the upcoming week but after that it would be business as usual. She’d find her peace and contentment again.

No one, not Karen, not Lester Davenport and not even Detective Simon Granger, was going to stop her.