Secrets to Keep

CHAPTER SIX





A good twenty minutes after Arch and his parents had departed, Aidy was still standing at the back door, blindly staring down the small yard. Her mind was refusing to accept what had just happened. That her husband, the one person she had believed would stand by her through anything, was really letting her down at a time when she had never needed his support more … Worse than that for Aidy was the fact that Arch hadn’t said one word in his own defence to his mother when she had been acting like he was a mere boy, and neither had he intervened when she had been using bullying tactics while dealing with his wife and her family. Aidy had long known Arch feared upsetting his mother, bowing to her demands whether he wanted to or not. She had always put that down to his respect for her; after all, Pat was his mother. But after tonight she realised that wasn’t the case at all. Arch was terrified of his own mother, to the extent of standing by and doing nothing while she unjustly abused his wife and her bereaved family.

She felt a hand on her arm and turned her head to see her gran looking worriedly at her.

‘I’ve mashed you a cuppa, love,’ Bertha told her. ‘Come and sit down and drink it before it gets cold. I’ve fed the kids and packed ’em off upstairs for an early night.’ She cupped Aidy’s elbow, urging her, ‘Come on in, love.’

Aidy had been so consumed by her own raging thoughts she hadn’t been aware that Bertha had been busying herself, taking over in the house, or that the children had been helping her by going without a fuss off to bed. Silently she made her way into the back room and sat down in an armchair, accepting the sweetened cup of tea her grandmother handed her.

Now, settled in the armchair opposite, Bertha was looking over at her gravely. In a soft, apologetic voice, she began, ‘I’m so sorry I’m such a burden to yer, lovey. As if you haven’t got enough on yer hands with the kids as it is.’

Aidy’s head jerked up. In no uncertain terms she told her, ‘You are not a burden, Gran. Never have been, never will be. So you can stop thinking like that.’

Despite the comfort of these words, Bertha didn’t feel any better about herself. She damned her own ageing body for not allowing her to fend for herself, financially and for not being able to take the burden off Aidy and Arch by caring for the children unaided. ‘Look, I’m sure none of what Pat Nelson said about Arch was true, Aidy. I expect he’ll be round any minute now to assure you of that himself.’

Aidy gave a heavy sigh, the sorrow she was inwardly suffering reflected in her face. As if every word was taking her a great effort to enunciate, she muttered, ‘It won’t make any difference to me if he does, Gran.’

Bertha’s aged face screwed up in bewilderment. ‘Why won’t it make any difference?’

Shoulders sagging in despair, Aidy uttered, ‘Oh, Gran, it hurts me so much that Arch never stood up for us when his mother was being abusive or tried to stop her when she went to chastise George. I didn’t realise before just how frightened he is of his mother, but even so, he should have put her in her place when she was going on at us like that. Well, maybe I could have found a way to forgive him and carried on living with him, Gran, as his mother is … well … I don’t need to tell you what a bully she is?’

Bertha couldn’t argue with that. Over the years Pat had been a part of their lives, there had been numerous occasions when she had bullyingly manipulated her way into their family affairs and tried to take over as though she was in charge of them all.

Aidy was continuing, ‘But what I can’t cope with, Gran, is never really knowing for sure whether Mrs Nelson was telling the truth. If perhaps Arch did tell her he resents the fact he’s giving up everything we’ve built up, in order to help out here. He never tried to deny what she was saying, did he?’

‘Well, in fairness to him, she wasn’t allowing him to get a word in, was she?’

‘Or maybe he didn’t speak up because he didn’t want to admit that she was telling the truth. See what I mean, Gran? I’ll never be sure either way now, will I? I don’t feel I can trust him any more, not knowing if he’s saying one thing but thinking another.’ Aidy looked up at a silver-framed, sepia head and shoulders study of her mother as a carefree young woman, before she had met her husband. It jostled for space along with other family treasures on the mantel above the range. ‘Mam obviously found a way to trust Father again after he’d let her down so badly. I wish she was here to tell me how she managed to find it within herself to do that.’ Aidy gave a heavy sigh. ‘But anyway, it doesn’t matter really, I just know I can’t live with Arch while I’m uncertain of him. Marriage is a two-way partnership to me, Gran. Not one person saying or doing what the other wants, for fear of upsetting them. That’s Pat Nelson’s idea of marriage, not mine.’

Bertha gawped at her. Was Aidy really telling her that her marriage was over? But many married couples overcame setbacks like Arch maybe siding with his mother, and still managed to live together and make the best of what they’d got. Surely Arch could find a way to rebuild Aidy’s trust in him and then they could be happy again. Bertha could only hope so.

Aidy wearily rubbed her eyes. ‘I’m really tired, Gran. Been a hell of a day all round, hasn’t it? Would you mind if I went to bed?’

Bertha doubted that with all that was playing on her mind she would get any restful sleep, but regardless she flashed Aidy a smile. ‘No, ’course not.’ She made to ease her own exhausted body out of the chair. ‘I’ll get the bedding for you.’

For the three nights Aidy had been staying here since her mother’s death, though she knew Bertha would have welcomed her into the bed she had shared with her daughter, Aidy had opted for the sofa. It was comfortable enough for sitting on, but sleeping was a different matter. Although she had felt terribly lonely without Arch beside her, Aidy hadn’t wanted to disturb her grandmother with her grieving. She doubted she’d get any actual sleep tonight, as desolate as she was at this latest turn of events and facing all the worry of looking after her helpless family entirely on her own. But knowing her beloved grandmother was beside her, someone she knew loved and cared for her no matter what, would be a real comfort to Aidy tonight.

‘D’you mind company, Gran?’ she asked Bertha.

Her gran smiled at her and said softly, ‘You sit where you are and I’ll make us both a milky drink before we go up.’