Safe in His Arms

TEN





Through the long night, Daniel found himself watching Margaret and marveling at her calm efficiency as she saw to the needs of everyone in the Stanton household. She fetched boiling water and clean cloths for the doctor, disappeared into Lucy’s room occasionally to offer comfort and encouragement to the laboring mother, soothed Nate’s frazzled nerves, and helped Nate usher the dance guests away from the party. This was yet another side to the intriguing Margaret O’Brien. And it made him want to know her all the more.

Daniel was dozing on the sofa when a noise awakened him. He blinked sleepily in the lightening gloom of early dawn. What was that noise? It almost sounded like a kitten mewing. Then the sound strengthened, and he realized he was hearing the first cries of the newborn baby. He bolted upright, then jumped to his feet.

His hands gripped together, Nate was standing at the door. An eager smile vied with worry on his face. “Where’s the doctor?”

“Sounds like a healthy little one,” Daniel said soothingly. He still remembered the night his brother was born.

“Yes, but I don’t hear Lucy.” Nate paced across the floor, then turned with determination. “I’m going in there.”

Before he could reach the doorway, Margaret stepped into the parlor. She was carrying a tiny bundle. “You want to see your daughter, Nate?” She was smiling tenderly at the baby.

“A—A daughter?” Dawning wonder broke over the new father’s face. He approached Margaret and the baby with a tentative stride. “How’s Lucy?”

“She’s tired but fine. You can see her in a few minutes.”

Daniel had waited through the long night with the rest, and he deserved a peek too. He crowded behind Nate and peered into the blanket at a tiny, wizened face topped by a tuft of red hair. “She has red hair.”

“Just like her uncle Jed,” Nate murmured. “What’s the doctor say about her?”

“Our prayers were answered. It was a simple miscalculation. He thinks she’ll be fine. She’s a goodly weight.”

“Thank you, God,” Nate whispered.

“Here, you hold her.” Margaret gently handed the baby to her daddy.

Joy spread over Nate’s face. “She looks like Lucy,” he breathed. “But she’s so little. I might hurt her. I don’t remember William being so small.”

“She’s stronger than she looks, like all newborns,” Margaret said. “Just think how tough those new calves are, and you’ll be fine.”

Daniel watched with great interest. He hadn’t been this close to a newborn baby since Charlie was born, and the thrill of new life was amazing. Margaret’s face glowed, and so did Nate’s.

The baby was sucking on her fist and making small mewling sounds. Daniel glanced down at Margaret and saw the tender look on her face as she gazed at Nate with his new daughter. The expression on her face tightened Daniel’s stomach. She’d loved Nate once and wanted to marry him. Did she still love him? Did she wish this child were hers and Nate’s? A lump formed in Daniel’s throat. Would he ever hold a child of his own? It didn’t seem likely, considering his line of work. But he couldn’t imagine a greater joy than holding a little girl who looked like Margaret.

Daniel scowled and turned away. “I’ll see to the stock, Nate. You spend some time with your new daughter.” He strode from the room. Let Margaret moon over Nate. Daniel had more important things to do than watch.

The hard work in the stockyard cleared his thoughts. So what if she still yearned after Nate? The man was married, and she could see that. Besides, Daniel had to keep his mind on this job at hand. Not until it was over could he think about anything else. But what then? Maybe it was time to change his profession. He could put his dangerous past behind him. Margaret would be worth the sacrifice. The thought was alluring.

By the time he went back to the house, enticing aromas were emanating from the kitchen and his mouth watered. Until he smelled breakfast, he hadn’t realized how hungry he was. He glanced into the parlor and saw the new baby safely ensconced in a cradle while Jed and Eileen gazed at her raptly. Nate was nowhere to be seen, and Daniel assumed he was with Lucy.

Daniel followed his nose to the kitchen and found Margaret bustling about in an apron.

She jumped at his appearance. “Goodness, you startled me.” Her face was pale and strained with exhaustion, and she waved a wooden spoon in one hand as though she might conk him with it for daring to frighten her.

Daniel grinned. “Is that your weapon of choice?”

She flushed and put her arm down. “Are you hungry?”

“Famished.”

“Dig in. The kids and Nate have already eaten.”

Daniel sat at the table and watched her as she dished him up some potatoes, eggs, and bacon. When she set the plate in front of him, he caught her by the wrist and pulled her down onto his lap.

The look of astonishment on her face made him burst into laughter. Daniel wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. Her lips were warm and so soft. She smelled of sunshine, bacon, and baby. Who would have thought that combination could be so appealing?

Her arms crept around his neck. Then she suddenly pushed at his chest and clambered to her feet. “Would you stop doing that?”

“Why? You know I like you, Margaret. I would like to call on you formally.” The distraction from the job before him would be too great, but he seemed unable to help himself when Margaret was near him. He had more and more a sense that she was the one God had planned for him.

“Don’t say that!” She whirled and stalked to the dry sink. After pouring water from the pitcher into the dishpan, she scrubbed the pots.

He stood and stepped up behind her. “Why not? It’s the truth. I like spending time with you. You’re strong, beautiful, and brave. What more could a man ask for?”

She spun around and shoved at his chest. “Stop mocking me! Did someone put you up to this? Is Pa paying you or something?” Her eyes sparkled with tears.

Daniel’s jaw dropped open. “Paying me? Is that what you think of me? What kind of man do you think I am, Margaret?”

“I think you’re a bank robber!” she blurted out. Her eyes grew round, and she put a hand to her mouth.

“I see,” he said slowly.

His thoughts raced. A bank robber. She must have told Lewis her suspicions and that’s why he’d confronted Daniel. How had she guessed? And she was closer to the truth than she should be. He’d better back away until this job was over. The thought of putting her in danger was more than he could bear.

He dropped a mask over his face and stepped back. “In that case, I reckon there’s no more to say. Are you going to turn me in to the sheriff?”

Margaret’s face grew pinched. “Are you admitting it?”

“I’m admitting nothing. But I warn you to stay out of my affairs.” He’d better be tough with her for her own good. If they got near her, Frank and Golda would chew her up and spit her out like a discarded pea pod. Daniel couldn’t risk that. Better to frighten her into keeping her mouth shut.

She tipped up her chin. “And if I don’t?”

“My partners might not take too kindly to interference. You wouldn’t want anything to happen to your pa.”

She put a hand to her throat. “You’re despicable,” she whispered.

“So I’ve been told.” Weariness descended, and he turned toward the door. “I’ll borrow a horse from the barn and head on back to the Triple T. Give Lucy and Nate my congratulations.” He didn’t wait for an answer. There was nothing more to say.




MARGARET WAS STILL trembling an hour later. Daniel had practically admitted he was a bank robber and was here for some unknown purpose. But what could it be? Why would he pick the Triple T to hole up in? Larson’s bank had already been robbed. What was keeping him from moving on?

She had to do something. She couldn’t go to the sheriff. Daniel had threatened her pa, hadn’t he? And Margaret couldn’t run the risk of causing harm to her father. Besides, she didn’t know if she could bring herself to turn Daniel in. In spite of what she knew to be true about him, she had to be honest—her heart was more entangled than it should be. She squared her shoulders. She couldn’t let that stop her from doing her duty. If she could discover what the plan was and then foil it, maybe she could rid her heart of this preoccupation with Daniel.

Once things were in hand at the Stanton household, she hitched up the buggy and drove home. Weariness settled on her like a heavy blanket. Would Daniel be there when she arrived? Maybe it would be better if he had slipped away while she was gone. She wasn’t strong enough or smart enough to discover his plan and stop it. But her innate sense of right and wrong reared its head, and she had to do what she could. She wished she could confide in someone.

All she wanted to do was crawl in bed when she got home. Helping Lucy all night had been tiring, but her problem with Daniel was even more exhausting. She climbed out of the buggy and walked into the house with dragging steps.

Her pa was sitting in the parlor with his Sunday suit on. “Everyone all right at the Stantons’? The ranch hands told me about Lucy. I wasn’t sure if you’d be home in time for church.”

Church. She looked down at herself. There was no way she could go looking like this. But in spite of her exhaustion, she needed to go. Maybe sitting in the quiet atmosphere of worship would help her know what to do about Daniel. “Let me get cleaned up first.”

“Take your time. You’ve an hour yet, and I’m still waiting on Daniel. He’s going with us this morning.”

What a hypocrite! Robbing banks, then deluding innocent townspeople into thinking he was a fine, upstanding citizen they could trust.

Inez helped her quickly bathe, change her gown, and give her hair a lick and a promise. By the time Margaret got back to the parlor, her initial fatigue had dropped away, and she was filled with determination to stop Daniel from harming her valley and those she loved.

She stopped in the doorway when she heard his deep voice speaking to her father. Holding her head high, she waltzed into the room. “I’m ready.” She speared him with her glance, but he seemed unbothered by her censure.

Her father went toward the door. “I’ll get the buggy.”

Daniel rose lazily to his feet, and his gaze swept her figure. “Mornin’, Miss Margaret. You look pretty this morning, though I like your hair down better,” he said softly.

Heat rushed to her cheeks, and she scowled at him. “Then I shall be sure to keep it in its braid.”

His soft laughter followed her out the door as she stalked outside after her pa. The man was truly insufferable. He admitted he was a criminal, yet he had the gall to still flirt with her.

Squashed between Daniel and her pa, Margaret thought the trip to town would never end. Daniel’s nearness was a torture, but he would soon be gone. She ignored the bereft feeling she experienced at the thought of never seeing him again.

Church was buzzing with the news of the Stantons’ new arrival. Margaret recounted the events of the previous night while her father and Daniel found a pew. When she made her way to their side, she found her father on the inside while Daniel had saved a spot for her on the aisle. She slid into the seat beside him and tried to ignore the clean smell of him and the broadness of his shoulders.

He cleared his throat and opened his Bible to the passage Reverend Mitchell announced. Margaret silently railed at him for being such a hypocrite. She turned her own Bible to John 13. The pastor began to preach about how Jesus loved Peter even though he knew ahead of time that Peter would deny him three times.

“God loves us in the same way,” Reverend Mitchell said. “Not because of what we do, but because of who he is. We can’t earn God’s favor by working for it. We don’t earn it by our beauty or our possessions, for God is the one who gives those things anyway. His love is not dependent on anything. He loved us when we were unlovable, just as he did Peter.”

Reverend Mitchell’s words arrested Margaret’s attention. Out of fear, she worked hard to earn the love of others and dutifully did what she thought God wanted. She was always afraid of not living up to standards she never really understood. Could God really love her if she did nothing—just because he chose to love her—because she was his child? It didn’t seem possible. The longer Reverend Mitchell preached, the more agitated she became.

Had she ever given God everything she had, everything she was, everything she did? She didn’t think so. And she didn’t know if she even could. The one thing from which she gained a bit of pride and satisfaction was her standing in the community. If she wasn’t an O’Brien, she wouldn’t be worth anything. At least that’s how she looked at it. That was probably wrong, wasn’t it? But how did she go about laying aside the baggage she carried and clinging only to God? And did she even want to?

Lacing her fingers together, she tried to control her agitation. Finally, with a murmured apology, she stood and hurried from the building. She rushed down the steps and found her way to a picnic area behind the church. Taking a deep breath, she considered all the pastor had said. Unconditional love. It seemed so elusive. Yet how she longed for it! She was tired of struggling to earn it. Tired of wanting to be something she could never be, not for God or for anyone else.

A shadow fell across her arm, and she whirled around. His hands thrust in his pockets, Daniel stood staring down at her. “Are you all right?”

She studied his face and found only concern. But then, he was a good liar. “I suppose you were worried that I’d gone to find the sheriff.” Why couldn’t he leave her alone?

“Not at all. He’s still in the church.” Daniel took a step toward her. “Anything I can help you with?”

As if she would tell him anything. “No.”

“Was it the pastor’s sermon?”

Though a hypocrite like Daniel should be the last person with whom she discussed truth, she was too unsettled by what the pastor said to hide her feelings, and she blurted out the truth. “Unconditional love seems impossible.”

“Impossible?” He smiled. “With God, nothing is impossible.”

“You’re a fine one to talk about God.” What did he know anyway? She must be crazy to even discuss spiritual topics with him.

“Even criminals can know God’s love,” he said gently. “If I didn’t believe in God’s forgiveness and great love for me, my life would have no meaning or purpose. It’s what drives me forward and gives me hope.”

Maybe he wanted to turn from his life of crime. Margaret’s heart beat quickly, and she leaned forward. “You believe in unconditional love?”

He touched her cheek. “Why do you think you’re so unlovable, Margaret?” he asked softly.

Tears flooded her eyes. They were supposed to be talking about him, not her. “Look at me. I’m too tall and gangly. My hair is too red. There are lots of reasons men don’t find me attractive.”

“You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. And even if you weren’t, God sees beyond the blazing glory of your red hair and the strong children you would raise up. He sees the fierce caring of your heart and the loyalty you give to those you love. He sees the tender heart inside that’s crying out for love and approval. He gives it to you freely, Margaret. As I—” Daniel broke off abruptly.

Was that really how God saw her? It would be so wonderful to rest in that love, to feel safe there. And what else had Daniel been about to say? She swallowed hard. “I wish I could believe you.” She couldn’t think with his thumb running over her jaw.

“Don’t believe me. Believe God. He tells you in the Bible how much he loves you. You don’t have to take someone else’s word for it.”

Daniel was an enigma. How could a bank robber be standing here talking to her about God’s love? And he’d threatened her father. None of this made sense.

“Who are you, really?” she whispered.

His hand dropped from her cheek, and he stepped back. “Just a man trying to do his best in this world. One who has things in the past he would change if he could.”

“Is that why you’re here? To change those things?” She held her breath waiting for his answer, her heart pounding in her chest as though it might burst.

“I can’t tell you any more. Let’s just say I’ve got more in my past to haunt me than you can imagine. But God loves me in spite of it all, just as he loves you. When are you going to let him take that chip from your shoulder? When will you let go of that guard you put around your heart to keep out everyone, including God?”

“I don’t keep people out.”

He laughed. “How many close friends do you have, Margaret? Lucy is it, isn’t she? And it’s because she forced her love and friendship past that wall.”

Maybe he had a point, but she wasn’t about to admit it to him. What did he know of the pain of constant rejection, the agony of never fitting in with other people? It was all very well to sit in judgment of her, but he’d never walked in her size-nine shoes when all the other women wore size five. He’d never had to listen to the titters of other girls as they giggled behind a door when Margaret sat alone along the wall at every dance she’d ever gone to because no man liked a woman to tower over him.

She was an eel in a pond full of goldfish. And it was God’s fault. That was the crux of the matter, she suddenly realized. Why had he made her unlovable to the world? She wouldn’t do that to a child of hers, so why had he done it to her?

Daniel studied her face. “Have you ever thanked God for giving you the advantages he has?”

“Advantages?”

“All those things I’ve already mentioned. You’re tall and strong, loyal and brave, kind and loving. You stand out in a crowd and you’re a leader. He wouldn’t trust those qualities with just anyone. He must love you a great deal.”

She blinked at the thought. Could the things she thought were curses actually have contributed to her character? She would have to ponder that. She shook her head again at the way Daniel seemed to understand spiritual things. She didn’t understand him, and she was beginning to think she never would.

He looked back toward the church. “Looks like the service is over. I reckon your pa will be looking for us.” He offered her the support of his arm.

“How did you learn all this?” she blurted out. “You’re a criminal.”

He smiled, and the sadness in his smile broke her heart. “Someday maybe I’ll tell you,” he said softly.