Chapter 30
“Don’t be nervous, Trevor.” I smiled at him from the passenger side of the car and he glared at me like grim death.
“Easy for you to say, babe.”
We’d been sitting in a parked car in front of Austin’s house for the last five minutes. Two days had elapsed since Reno had brought me home from the motel. While he set up my own room, I found my way into his bed on the first night and declared it our room.
Ours is a better word than mine.
I’d done most of my mourning in the hotel and tried to leave the pain of my old life behind. I knew I’d always carry the guilt of losing my mother, but I’d lost her years ago. I just hadn’t come to terms with that fact. Reno didn’t talk when I cried in the middle of the night, and he filled an emptiness that had been a part of me for so long. I drew strength from him and looked forward to our days together because I knew they’d be filled with laughter.
“I don’t know why you’re so worried. They like you.”
Trevor snorted. “Yeah, I got that warm fuzzy feeling when your boyfriend pounded me in the face.”
What Trevor didn’t know was just how much the Cole brothers respected him. He’d taken a bullet for Reno, and saving their brother is not something they took lightly. I still hadn’t been able to say a thing to him about being a Shifter because of my promise, but Reno told me today that it was time to confront Trevor to see where he stood. I’d spent all afternoon with him at the movies, bookstore, and then wasting hours in a coffee shop eating pastry and talking about life. Just like old times.
“Are we going to live in your car?” I asked.
“Sounds good to me. Is this really that important to you?”
“They invited you for dinner, Trevor. And you’re one of the most important people in my life. I want you to be part of my new life, and I know it’s not easy to accept all the changes, but we’re friends for the long haul, right?”
He took my left hand and kissed the top of it. “April Showers, always showering me with love.” He sighed dramatically and popped open his door. “Let’s get this over with. Hold on to your panties—it’s going to be a bumpy night.”
We got out of the car and I stuffed my hands in my coat pockets as the chilly wind blew from behind me. I began to wonder if something was wrong because the lights were out inside the house. I hoped it meant a candlelight dinner and not that someone forgot to pay the bill. He held my hand tightly as we walked up the porch steps and took a slow stroll to the door.
When it clicked open, Reno filled the empty space and then closed the door behind him. Trevor backed up when Reno folded his arms, and I feared he might turn around and run to the car.
Then a smile curved up Reno’s cheek and he winked at me. “Good to see you, Trevor.”
They nodded at each another the way men often do and Reno’s brows stitched together. “Well, let’s get this over with.”
On that note, I officially began to get nervous. Reno had promised me he’d be on his best behavior, but this was already kicking off to a cold start.
Which speaking of, a bluster of wind rattled the trees and spun some of my hair around. I moved my long bangs away from my face and tucked them behind my ear. Reno reached forward and touched a long strand. “I’m glad you grew it out. You look beautiful.”
I bit my lip because my smile was borderline comical, and Trevor looked down at me and huffed. “Well, I like platinum. Just so you know.”
I lifted my shoulder. “Always good to try something new.”
“Get inside. Dinner’s getting cold,” Reno ordered. He opened the door, allowing us to walk past him. I walked in ahead of Trevor and wondered why Reno was suppressing a grin.
“Why are the lights off?”
Trevor bumped into me as I stood in the center of the room. Not even the tree was lit.
“Surprise!” The light flipped on and my heart stammered in my chest.
Everyone in the pack surrounded us, but that wasn’t the surprising part.
It was the banners hanging everywhere with wolves on them.
Denver leaned over and flipped on the stereo, which was to our right in the living room. A Diana Ross song came on—“I’m Coming Out.”
“Oh. My. God,” I said, whispered, or exclaimed. I couldn’t be sure which because the sound of disco music filled my ears as I looked at all the banners.
Maizy was sitting beneath the Christmas tree to the right of the stairs, holding a stuffed wolf.
As the music thumped against the floorboards, Trevor backed up. The door closed behind us and Reno blocked it.
“Trevor, I think it’s about time we had a talk,” Austin began. “I think we all know what’s up. Some of the guys had an idea to throw a party and damn, I don’t know if they’re just crazy or stupid. But we’re here to support you and let you know that we… I want to extend an invitation to you to join our pack.”
Trevor’s hand began to sweat and he let go. I gripped his jacket in case he got the bright idea of knocking Reno down and bolting out the door.
Austin approached in his jeans and white T-shirt. Lexi and Ivy were sitting on the stairs, Lynn peered in from the dining room, and the rest of the guys were sprinkled all about. Denver danced chaotically to the music and Maizy was giggling at him.
“What the hell is this?” Trevor said sharply.
“It’s a coming-out party!” Maizy exclaimed.
Austin stepped forward and lowered his chin, giving off a strong vibe in the room of his authority. “It’s an invitation. We’re Shifter wolves and I’m the Packmaster of the Weston Pack. So far, it’s just my brothers and Lexi’s family, but we need some new blood. I’ve been keeping an eye out for candidates, and I can’t think of a better choice. You’ve protected April as long as you’ve known her, shown loyalty and other qualities that I look for. I don’t know why you’re skittish about letting people know what you are, but to each his own. As you can see, this is a bit of a nonconventional pack. We have humans, but I’ve never believed in following all the rules in life. Family is family, and it’s not about whether or not you fit the mold.”
Austin dropped his hand on Trevor’s shoulder and gave him a serious look, albeit difficult with Diana Ross shouting out. “You took a bullet for my brother. And maybe you don’t give a shit about him, but you did it for April. That’s loyalty. That’s love. That’s the kind of man I want in my pack. They’re not all total dickheads,” he said, his gaze skating around the room.
“Except maybe that one.” Jericho pointed his thumb at Denver, who was bent over and gyrating his butt in circles.
Thank God they didn’t put the wolves on rainbow banners. I couldn’t read Trevor’s expression. He looked like a ghost dressed in black.
He folded his arms and engaged in a staring match with Austin, not something you really want to do with a Packmaster. “Just so you know, I’m gay. So you can turn the disco off.”
Denver whirled around and they all looked at one another.
Trevor laughed and wrapped his arm around me. “I also have no intention of shifting around you. So maybe you need a second to change your mind. Let’s have dinner and forget this ever happened.”
Austin stepped forward and jerked his head to the right, signaling to Reno. A hand gripped my arm and Reno pulled me to the side.
“Hey, what are you doing?” I protested.
Trevor and Austin were nose to nose. “Look, I don’t need to rethink a decision I’ve already made. Gay? Fine. You want to hide your wolf? Not so fine. You know the rule. Your wolf has to be introduced to everyone in the pack before coming in. If something happens down the line and we shift to defend our pack, I don’t need you turning on anyone in this room because your wolf doesn’t know them. After that, if you want to stay in hiding, that’s your choice. But we’re not ashamed of what we are in this family, and we don’t hide. It doesn’t mean our wolves run with each other, and some of them are…”
“Loco is the word you’re searching for,” Jericho blurted out, staring at Denver.
“Shut it,” Denver said with a snap of his fingers.
Austin cupped the side of Trevor’s neck. “I don’t have to know you for ten years to trust you. I’ve seen what I need to see. This is a chance for you to be part of a family—a brotherhood. You’ll have April to keep an eye on, and I’m always looking for input on new members. We need a strong pack, and I’m laying the offer down in front of you. So make a decision. We’re not having dinner for you to go back home, think it over, and p-ssy out.” He dropped his hand and quirked a smile. “You in?”
Trevor clenched his jaw and glanced sideways at me. Reno had his arms wrapped around me from behind and I looked at Trevor pleadingly. The idea of having him in the house to be a part of my family elated me. I mouthed please.
“On one condition,” Trevor began. “I don’t listen to disco. I don’t deal with jokes about my lifestyle. I don’t think I need to explain why I’ve left Shifter life behind. I never had a problem with being a Shifter until my pack abused me on a daily basis.”
“What the hell for?” Denver said in low, threatening words.
“Maizy, come help Mommy set the table,” Lynn said.
Maizy set her stuffed wolf down and skipped into the kitchen.
Trevor looked between everyone in the room. “Before I went through the change as a Shifter, I knew who I was. Somehow, so did everyone else. I wasn’t open with it, but let’s just say they made my life a living hell. You know how Shifters feel about being all hetero and continuing the Breed by having more kids. I don’t take shit for it no more. You can stand there and tell me you’re cool with it, but if one person in this house roughs me up…”
“Then we’ll f*cking put him out,” Reno said from behind. Everyone glanced in our direction and Reno stepped around me. “We’re brothers. You come into this pack, and you’re our brother. Anyone here got a problem with this?”
All eyes looked between one another in a silent agreement that they didn’t care. Wheeler sat in a leather chair with his legs crossed, watching the scene with mild interest. Ben leaned against the far wall, yawning and rubbing his face. Those two were like night and day.
“There’s your answer,” Reno said.
Austin continued. “How about it? It’s a good offer and we’re a tight pack. You’ll have protection and we need another good man we can trust.”
Trevor blinked a few times and stared at his oxfords. I knew that look. He was on the verge of tears, and Trevor hated crying in front of people. He had never told me about his life or hinted to any history of physical torment. My heart broke at the idea that he’d suffered abuse at the hands of his own family.
“Trial period?” he asked.
Austin stuffed his hands in his pockets, jingling some change around. “All or nothing. I give you my word no one in this pack is going to put his hands on you. I can’t promise they won’t be jackasses and rile you up—that’s daily life around here.”
“They’re men,” Lexi blurted out from the stairs. “It can hardly be helped.”
A laugh bubbled out of me and Trevor looked up, eyes brimming with uncertainty. The white lights on the tree twinkled, the room smelled of cinnamon potpourri, and all eyes were on Trevor. Denver shut off the music and Jericho bit on an unlit cigarette, flicking it up and down. Since smoking was only permitted in his bedroom and the game room, he had developed an oral fixation.
Trevor pinched his lip. “I’m cool with that. But if anyone crosses the line in this house, I’m gone.”
Everyone exhaled at once.
“Well, hell. Let’s get this party started!” Denver cranked up the stereo and changed it over to a radio station.
“Go back, I like that song!” Lexi blurted out, leaping to her feet.
“I’m not listening to Fleetwood,” Denver announced, stopping at a Van Halen song.
As everyone resumed talking, Austin patted Trevor on the shoulder. They shared a private look and without words made a solid agreement.
Trevor now belonged in the Weston Pack.
***
Lynn had baked a succulent honey-glazed ham with pineapple rings and cherries on top. Ivy took credit for the steamed vegetables and jalape?o cornbread, while Lexi had baked the most savory chocolate chip cookies I’d ever tasted. She spent an hour talking about recipe ideas that had me drooling. It was also decided that after my long hiatus, I was going back to Sweet Treats to resume my position as manager.
Austin filled Trevor in on the formalities of joining the pack. Paperwork had to be signed in front of local Packmasters, but as far as he was concerned, Trevor could move in that night.
I had a fresh start with my life—a new beginning. No strings holding me back or tying me down. No financial burdens, no debt. Anything was possible. Not only that, but for the first time in my life, I felt a sense of belonging. I began to see what a functional family was all about—something I’d never thought I could have with someone who wasn’t a blood relative. Reno paid for my mother to have a headstone, and I buried my remorse along with her.
Reno never questioned my relationship with Maddox, and when I’d tried to broach the topic last night in bed, he slipped his arms around my waist, nuzzled his face against the back of my neck, and told me to go back to sleep. He didn’t want an explanation. Maybe I’d never find out why it didn’t matter to him, but part of me liked having someone in my life who accepted my past. The only thing he had said to me on the matter was that a mistake was something you regretted. I gave it a lot of thought, and I didn’t regret my time with Maddox. What I did regret was not having told someone early on about Sanchez, although I’m not sure it would have made much of a difference. No one leads a perfect life. I accepted the fact it wouldn’t be the last mistake I’d ever make. But that was okay. I wouldn’t have to go through it alone.
After dinner, the porch swing rocked back and forth and I curled up against Reno. I threw my legs over his lap and he wrapped a flannel blanket around us. After he took a long sip of his coffee, he set the mug down on a small table to his right.
“Got something for you,” he said, breaking the silence. He reached beside him and handed me a box.
“Wait, I thought we weren’t going to exchange gifts?”
He smiled and it pushed creases in his cheeks as he looked out into the darkness. “It’s technically not a gift.”
“Funny, it looks like a gift to me.” The box was green with a felt exterior and I smoothed my fingers around the lid. When I opened it, I stared at a glass orb. “Oh, this is so…”
When I lifted it out of the box my breath caught.
“I managed to salvage one of the snow globes after the fire. The firemen put out the flames and while you were being treated, I went back to survey the scene. It was damaged, but I know a guy who’s real good with his hands. He couldn’t save the glass, but he refinished the base and touched up the inside.”
I shook it and watched tiny flecks of snow swirl about the scene with a man walking through the woods with a child on his shoulders. What could I possibly give this man that could match the sentimental value of this gift? I placed the globe gingerly in the box and Reno set it on the table. My heart constricted and I’d never felt more devotion toward someone—more genuine respect—than I did for the Shifter sitting beside me.
“I wanted to save it as a surprise,” he said, as if it were no big deal.
“Reno?”
“What is it, princess?”
I adored that he called me that. Even more, I adored the bookshelf he had built for me that morning and put in the bedroom as a surprise.
“I want to tell you something important.”
He cleared his throat, tucked his arm around my back, and continued pushing the swing with the heel of his boot. “Already told you, I don’t need to know about Maddox.”
“No, you need to know this,” I said in a serious voice.
I could barely make out his eyes as he stopped rocking and glanced down. “I’m all ears.”
That put me on the spot. “Is this forever?”
His rough hand cupped my cheek and a kiss melted against my lips, warm against the chilly air. I could taste the coffee on his breath and I wrinkled my nose. He chuckled and said, “I think I need to get you fitted for a helmet so you can ride with me in the spring when it gets warmer.”
“Is that a yes?”
His knuckles grazed my neck and outlined my breast, traveling down to my lap where my cold hand was tucked between my legs. “I don’t know what forever is, April. I don’t even want to think about the finish line while I’m in the race, because that’s the end, and I don’t want this to end. If that means forever, then yeah.”
“So maybe it’s time that I tell you.”
He didn’t blink and I could almost hear his heart pounding. So I gripped his hand and leaned in close, my forearms against his chest and my fingers touching his smooth jaw.
“I love you. That’s a big deal because I’ve never told that to another man except for Trevor. My heart is the only gift I have to give to you. I love this life we have, and this future…”
Holy smokes, I was crying. Tears streamed down my face. As much as I’d rehearsed that moment in my head, it never involved tears or having to rub my runny nose.
“I just want you to know that it’s a big deal for me not to just share my life with you, but my heart. Every piece of it, even the broken ones. I can’t give you kids—not just because we can’t have children together, but because that’s not what I want in life. My past is something I’ll never shake free of, and maybe some people can get over it and move forward, but that’s not the life for me. You have to be okay with that because if you want a family, I don’t want to deny you of it.”
Reno sat up, grabbed my legs, and turned me so that I was straddling him. He wrapped the blanket around my back and slipped his arms around my waist.
“Just so we have a few things straight, princess, I’m turning your old bedroom into a reading room. When our pack gets bigger and we have to give up the room, then the lounge downstairs will be your library and you’ll have your own time where you can close the door and no one will bother you. I’ll put locks on the damn door if I have to. You’re also going to learn to ride a motorcycle, because bikes are my life and I want to share that with you. Even if it’s just taking a spin around the property, I want you to learn to handle something powerful without fear. I’m also going to show you a little self-defense because women should know how to take care of themselves.”
I kissed his cheek as he spoke, making my way to the other side.
“Like I said a while back, we’re done with all the belts and tying up. Obviously we both like to be in control, but we can work out our needs together. I still work as a PI, and if I have to leave town, then Trevor is going to look after you. If it’s something serious, you see Austin.”
Wow, he was getting serious with the talk. I told him I loved him, and he was planning out our days together.
“Next summer, I’m taking you on a trip to Hawaii.”
“What?” I exclaimed and laughed all at once. “That’s not necessary.”
“Oh? Humans take vacations all the time. When’s the last time you had one? Plus, I want to see that gorgeous body in a bikini.”
“Ah, now I’m beginning to see the big picture,” I said with a giggle, kissing his chin and ruffling my hands through his short hair. “I have a few conditions of my own.”
His brow quirked. “Oh?”
“Every so often, I want you to skip a shave or two. I like your stubble.”
“Done.”
“I’m also a little messier than you, and I’ll try to pick up, but don’t get all neat-freak on me and start lining up my shoes. My sister has OCD and if you don’t keep that under control, it can take over. I’m not saying you have it, I’m just pointing out that I’ve never seen a man neatly line up packages of gum on his dresser like you do. I also want you to teach me how to play horseshoes.”
He smiled. “Is that so?”
“Yeah. I’m having fun learning all these new things. I want to be good at something.”
“Oh, you’re good at something,” he said suggestively, waggling his brows. “I like it when you nibble on my ear. Maybe you can do some of that later on.”
I slipped my arms beneath his and held on to my man so tight I could feel his heartbeat. His warmth surrounded me like the Pacific sun melting across tranquil waters. Reno kissed the top of my head and began rocking the swing again. Inside the house, Maizy was singing a Christmas song and Ivy joined in.
Someday I would die before Reno’s time. I didn’t understand Breed magic enough to speculate how his body would age, although from what he said, everyone is different and it was quite possible we could grow old together.
So I gave it some thought and concluded that I couldn’t plan our relationship on sex. If I ended up sixty and he still looked thirty, the intimacy we shared would be nonexistent.
But after it’s all said and done, don’t you want to grow old with your best friend? At the end of the day, that’s who you want to share your life and laughter with. Someone who will be there in hard times to hold you tight. Someone who will fight for your honor and support your decisions. Someone who will encourage your dreams and help you to fulfill them.
Do I think I’ll be having great sex all the way into my eighties? Probably not. But I’ll have someone there to make me bacon and tell me I’m beautiful. Someone to sit on the porch beside me and listen to the crickets in the summertime while we share a glass of lemon tea, talking about old times.
And I’m okay with that.
I’m more than okay with that.
I hate that I won’t be there for him after I’m gone, but Reno will find himself a woman one day—maybe a Shifter. Perhaps I’ll play a part in helping him become a man who is finally ready to make decisions about adoption and having a family of his own. Or maybe he’ll finally realize that giving a woman babies is not what defines him as a man. The courage to love is.
Nothing lasts forever. But maybe I can carry a little piece of that happiness in my pocket for as long as I’m here.
Just like Reno carried that earring.
SIX MONTHS_(A Seven Series Novel Book 2)
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