Nowhere Safe

CHAPTER 36



Trish walked into the hotel suite and tossed her convention bag on the sofa, glad to be out of the crush downstairs after all day surrounded by people. One very long Saturday.

This was not going to work.

Josh had to find another hotel room. He could have the one she was supposed to be in right now.

“You didn’t tell me what Heidi called about.” Josh tossed out that topic when he strolled in behind her.

Trish searched her mind to revisit the phone call about the shop, after which he’d smothered her with a kiss. All brain cells had gone on holiday at that point. “ReSolution is shut down for the weekend, at least, with a gas leak. Business has been slow with the Big Charlie news, but we’re still losing our best days.”

“Sorry your shop is going to lose the revenue.” He sounded genuinely disturbed over her loss.

If he could offer understanding, she could be appreciative. “Thanks, but it’s not your fault.” She started for her bedroom.

“You going to ignore me all night, too?” Josh asked

Only to be civil, she turned around to face the body she’d tried not to notice all day. “What are you talking about?”

“You act like I’m invisible.”

Oh, she’d seen him just fine. His black slacks, black knit shirt and fawn-colored jacket fit as if each piece had been tailored–a distinct possibility with him. He should save his money.

That body could turn rags into a fashion statement.

If he didn’t like being ignored, she had a topic. “Who are you, Josh?”

That turned him into a statue. “What do you mean?”

“I’m having a hard time believing that someone who is a computer tech with the FBI makes the kind of money that you’ve thrown around in two days or has the luxury of following me around.”

He shrugged. “My family has some money.”

“Fine. I got it.” She turned to leave.

“Trish, stop.” He caught up to her and grabbed her arm, careful when he turned her around. “Now you’re pissed that my family has money?”

“No, I’m pissed that you act as though you want me to be open and trusting, but I know nothing about you. I can’t trust what I don’t know.”

His jaw muscles flexed while he stood there holding her gaze with his fathomless blue one. “What do you want to know?”

“The truth.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

If she could tell him what Angel said this would be so much simpler, but Angel had only shared so much because she wanted to protect Trish. Breaking that confidence was not the way to thank her. “Where did you go night before last when you left my house?”

His face closed down. “I can’t discuss my work any more than Zane can.”

“Where’d you grow up?”

“On the streets in New York.”

She believed him, but something had changed from then until now. “Where are your parents?”

That muscle in his cheek jumped again. “I never knew my parents.”

“You said your family has money and now that you never knew your parents. That’s a contradiction.” But she sensed that he was telling the truth yet still hiding something.

Josh must have caught something in her face that gave away her thoughts. He lifted his hand to brush his fingers along her face and cup her cheek. “My life isn’t my own sometimes. I’ve been as honest as I can be with you, but my work requires a certain amount of discretion.”

“In other words, I’m not to be trusted with personal details.”

“That’s not...” He ran his hand over his head, ruffling his hair. “I was adopted. I don’t talk about my parents.”

She nodded, but understanding what he said didn’t mean she could allow herself to get any closer to Josh.

He lowered his head and kissed her, a gentle touch that felt as though he was trying to tell her something with the kiss that he couldn’t say with words.

When he lifted his head and looked into her eyes this time, she saw regret. Her heart ached with the need to tell him how much he meant to her and see if that was what it would take to get him to meet her halfway on trust. She was dangerously close to falling all the way over that cliff alone and facing a world of pain once he left.

Someone beat on the door.

With resignation heavy in his voice, he said, “I’ll find out who it is.”

Josh opened the door and Heidi came in, big grin on her face. “Hey, Trish.”

When they finished hugging, Trish asked, “What are you doing here?”

“Josh invited me and Bunko up for the weekend. He thought you might like the company.”

“What about a room?” Trish asked.

“He said he had an extra one. We just unpacked.”

The only extra room Josh had available was mine. But she had no problem giving the room to Heidi...and Bunko.

Together. They were here together. Nice.

Trish cut her eyes to Josh, who dropped a casual shoulder against the wall, amusement in his eyes. She didn’t take her eyes off sexy mystery man when she asked Heidi, “And how did you get here?”

“Oh, that was the coolest part,” Heidi said. “Right, Bunko?” The normally shy, sometimes grim, Bunko actually chuckled. “Way cool.”

“We flew up on a private jet.” Heidi matched Bunko’s reserved smile with her patent cheerful one.

Trish raised both eyebrows in question at Josh who sent her a no-big-deal shrug. Just when she felt like she had a handle on him, he threw her a curve.

Unsure what to say in the face of all he’d done she just said, “This is quite a surprise.”

“Maybe it won’t be the last one tonight.”

AA

How was Trish supposed to hold on to her anger after Josh had flown Heidi and Bunko up here to keep her company? She’d tried to let go of it, and had been doing a bang-up job, until Heidi informed her that Josh made it clear he wanted more eyes on Trish.

Bottom line? He hadn’t done it because he wanted to do something nice for her. He’d had his own motive. And his protectiveness rivaled Zane’s.

Even knowing that, and much as she wanted to fight against being smothered, Josh’s concern warmed her. Practicing self defense with Arnie had given her a level of comfort, but some days she didn’t want to fight alone. She wanted to know she had a safe port in a storm.

That she had more than a safe port. She had someone who cared for her. She wanted it to be Josh.

Even now her silly heart believed he was here with her for more than information on the mole, but she still didn’t know who Josh was.

She wrapped her arms around her middle and stared out her hotel bedroom window at a sparkling Atlanta that burst with nightlife. She wanted to feel that alive and stop worrying over every step she made– or more like every misstep she was trying to avoid.

Maybe she should just stop wondering what was really going on with Josh.

He claimed lunch had only been business and he couldn’t talk about his nighttime appointment.

It wasn’t as if she couldn’t accept that, because her own brother couldn’t discuss his covert pilot work with the DEA. But Zane didn’t avoid talking about the rest of his life the way Josh did.

Zane now shared his life with a woman he loved.

There was the difference.

Josh had no intention of getting that involved, and he’d played her–he’d used her for his investigation. But Trish had already made the colossal mistake of falling for him.

A whisper of footsteps approached from behind her in the dark room. She glanced over her shoulder and recognized Josh’s blonde hair and broad shoulders, and turned back around. She could tell by the way he moved against her kimono that he only wore a shirt and shorts. His arms came around her and she battled mentally over what to do.

Push him away or pull him closer?

She wanted a man who trusted her enough to tell her the truth. Josh hadn’t trusted her enough to ask her straight out about Colbert.

He nuzzled her neck and kissed a path up to her ear then leaned around to kiss her cheek. He paused, his voice coming out in a low rumble. “Still mad at me for some unknown reason?”

Was she still angry with him?

After all he’d done to protect her, she owed him some honesty. “I’m not angry–”

His sound of disbelief forced her to correct her statement.

“I was angry,” she corrected and was rewarded with another hot snuggle against her neck. Her skin came alive, waiting for him to touch her.

But she had to have answers first. “Now I’m just confused and need to know something.”

His thumbs that had been moving in a soothing stroke over her hands became very still. “What?”

“Were you sent here by the FBI to find out more about Colbert?”

He took a moment before asking, “What makes you think that?”

“Answering me with a question is a diversion tactic. If you aren’t going to tell me the truth, then just say so.”

Josh dropped his chin onto her shoulder. She could feel his slow inhale and exhale against her back as he considered his next words. “I am doing some additional research regarding Colbert.”

She hadn’t expected him to admit that and felt a flutter of happiness at his honesty. She wanted more. “What about me? Am I part of that research?”

“Trish–”

“Truth.”

His chin lifted off her shoulder and he kissed the top of her head. “You were.”

She’d asked for honesty and had gotten it. “Oh.”

“Don’t read the wrong things from that. I’m not here in that capacity right now.”

“So you didn’t, uhm, the other day on the sofa, that wasn’t...”

“You think I was seducing you for information?”

She was actually glad to hear the indignation and shock in his voice. “Yes.”

“No.” His thumbs started grazing back and forth again then he added, “The only research going on that day was how long it would take you to climax.”

Her heart twirled around at that.

His hands lifted to cup her breasts and use those same thumbs to stroke her taut nipples.

“Are you researching again?”

His hands stilled and his forehead came down to rest on her head. “I’m trying to keep my hands off you, but giving up oxygen would be easier.”

Her resistance cracked at that. To have Josh desire her as much as she did him destroyed the last of her hesitation.

She whispered, “What if I asked you to...keep going?”

He moved his cheek back and forth over her hair. “I want to more than you can ever know, but I’m not staying in Miami.”

He was telling her the truth. That he would be gone. She should accept that and walk away, but she wanted this with Josh. Wanted to feel him and be with him for whatever time she could have. She was already in over her head. Spending the night in his arms wouldn’t change that. She would take what he’d give until he left without asking for more.

She waited until she could speak without giving away her heart in her words. “I know you’re leaving soon, but you’re here tonight and I want you.”

His lips came down on her neck and she leaned her head aside to give him better access.

He walked backwards until he sat on the bed where he lifted her into his lap. “Josh, we can–”

“Shh. Stop thinking for now and relax.”

Was he crazy? His fingers were touching her everywhere, had her wound tighter than a banjo string. No longer needing to hold her up, his free hand drifted down to part her kimono and touch between her legs.

He groaned and whispered in a husky breath, “You’re so hot and wet. I want you.”

She wanted to answer, to say how much she wanted him, too, but his finger slid inside her and she lost her breath. His thumb barely brushed over her and she tensed. “That feels amazing...”

His fingers on her breast moved in harmony with how he was stroking her between her legs. She leaned back against him, exposed and safe in his arms.

She could feel the thick ridge of his erection behind her, moving with his heartbeats. He whispered, telling her what he wanted to do to her and how good she would taste. How wet she was. He changed the rhythm of his fingers plunging inside her and touched the place that unleashed the tight coil inside her.

Bright lights burst behind her eyes. She came apart, calling his name. He held her in his arms, stroking her gently through the aftermath until she drooped limp as a rag doll gasping for air.

Josh was breathing just as hard and, speaking of hard, yes he was. He spoke close to her ear. “You just blew my mind with how fast you came. I want to be inside you. Now.”

She didn’t think she had enough energy to nod.

He touched her stomach, massaging his way down until his fingers slid into her again and convinced her she wanted him inside her, too.

“Tell me,” he said, pushing in and out of her. “What do you want?”

“You. Now.”

He scooped her up in his arms and kissed her all the way to his bedroom where he shed his clothes and laid her down and knelt, his legs on each side of her body.

She’d only thought what she’d felt was impressive. Josh, naked and fully aroused was a sight worthy of worship.

He leaned over, reaching for his nightstand and came back with a condom he ripped out of the package and rolled into place.

She couldn’t think beyond watching him. She forgot to breathe.

He had beautiful roped muscles that flexed as he moved, curving and shaping his masculine body. He lowered that amazing body until he was covering hers and the kissing started again. She ran her hands over his skin, pausing to tease the hard nipples on his chest and he bit her gently.

She shivered at the erotic feeling that invaded her. When she cupped his balls, he hissed and warned, “Careful. You have no idea how much I want you right now.”

But he had no idea how much she needed him right back.

His mouth captured hers, hungry and demanding until he changed direction and dropped lower to suckle her breast.

She reached up and grasped his sides, desperately hanging on to him through the chaos he raised in her body. But when he pulled away, he backed up until his knees were by hers. He kissed the insides of her thighs, his fingers moving ahead of his lips, caressing her into another erotic fever.

Then he used his tongue on her and she bowed off the bed. “I’m going to...uh...again...”

The power of her orgasm shocked her. She felt tears sting her eyes and had no idea what she was saying, just floated, suspended in time.

No past. No future. Just now.

Then Josh was back, kissing her breasts and her neck.

That was not helping her regain her equilibrium. He couldn’t do that to her again. She wouldn’t survive.

But neither would she complain about dying this way.

She reached down and grasped his thick erection, stroking up and down.

He moaned. “Killing me.”

“Only fair,” she countered. “What are you waiting for?”

He lifted up and stared down into her eyes. “To be sure you’re ready.”

She knew he didn’t mean wet, because that was obvious. He wanted to know she had this–him and her–straight in her mind.

Did she? No, not really.

But would that stop her right now? Not a chance. “I’m ready.”

“Keep your eyes open,” he ordered quietly. He pushed inside her slowly, watching her face as she adjusted to him.

Even if she’d wanted to close her eyes and shut out his face, she couldn’t. His gaze held onto her, refusing to let go. His biceps bulged as he held his weight off of her and moved in a slow, easy rhythm. His skin glistened with perspiration.

The man had ridiculous control and she’d had none. She lifted up on his next stroke and forced him deep inside her.

His eyes blazed with an intensity that should scare her.

It inspired her instead.

She curved her arms up under his and hooked his shoulders. “Stop holding back on me. I want to feel you deep inside, feel every...hard...stroke–”

Power snapped in his body. He pushed again and again, faster now. Veins stood out on his forehead.

She didn’t believe she could come again, not until he reached between them and proved her wrong when she felt herself let go again.

AA

Josh had almost gained control again until Trish had whispered, “I want to feel you deep inside, feel every...hard...stroke–”

His orgasm went nuclear, blinding him to everything except pounding into her sweet heat. Spent, he collapsed, unable to hold himself away from her physically...or emotionally.

He’d made a lot of mistakes in his life, but this one might top all of them. He could not want a woman this much. Not with his life. Chelsea had been the cog that fit neatly into a spot he’d created.

Nothing about Trish was neat or simple.

She couldn’t fit into a life wrought with danger and deceit.

Trish’s fingers stroked up and down his back. “I know this is going to end soon and I’ll never see you again.”

He brought his elbows in and pushed up to search her face. Eyes soft and more relaxed than he’d seen her in days, she shielded thoughts behind that walled-up gaze. Never see her again? He’d rather take a knife in the gut, but she’d only pointed out reality.

F*ck reality. He’d figured out a way to make it work with Chelsea. But Chelsea didn’t survive, did she? He wouldn’t let Trish put herself in danger. She was...important.

Someone who deserved more than a friends-with-benefits relationship, but his life didn’t allow for more. Would Trish be willing to meet up on occasion to spend a couple of hot nights together?

Would he be satisfied with that?

No.

That was reality. The kind Josh had never allowed to intrude on his shallow existence. He swallowed, at a loss for words or ideas, but he didn’t want to give her up when this was done. They could find a way to make something work. “When this is over and we find the stalker–”

She lifted a hand to his lips. “Josh, please don’t.”

“What?” Don’t what? Don’t touch her, don’t kiss her, don’t act on this attraction neither of them could deny?

“Don’t say something that will make me hope for what I can’t have. I’ll take what we can have now and be content. I understand that you can’t share everything about yourself, but for more than this I need all of you.”

Meaning she wanted to know about his life, his family. Things he couldn’t share as long as he stayed in this business.

He reached over and brushed the back of his finger along her cheek. He’d been on the verge of saying they would talk about seeing each other after this was over, but Trish was right. He had no intentions of sharing all those details. Uncle Ty was shaking his head, wondering what kind of fool thought he could have a woman like Trish and be in this business.

A man who wanted to fill the empty hole in his chest.

Her eyes moistened before she closed them. Her silky black lashes fluttered, stark against her creamy cheeks. “I’m not up to talking any more tonight. I should go to my bed.”

She might as well have said the last word, because he heard it in his mind. Alone.

The way he was destined to spend the rest of his life.