Nirvana Effect

38



“Cali,” he called into the house. “It’s Edward. I’m back. It’s safe, now.” She was hiding. “Come out, now.”

She appeared at the end of the hallway. She had a marble doorstop in her hand, and when she saw that it was indeed Edward she dropped it to the floor. “How’d you know where I was?” she asked quietly.

Edward shrugged. “Are you okay?” he asked. “Did anyone come in the house?”

“No. No. I’m fine. I’m fine.”

You’re beautiful. Edward examined her. The moonlight cast into the house in slanted rays through the shutters. They caught her and drew lines across her skin as she walked toward him. He could feel her fear, saw her shaking and trying to cover it. He understood. She had no idea what was going on.

He purposely slowed down his own breathing and calmed his countenance. She responded and relaxed a bit as well. Her eyes were searching his for answers. Her gaze froze on his cheek.

“What?” he asked. Edward put his hand to his face. He followed the line of a deep scratch and found blood. “Just some scrapes. Nothing serious,” he dismissed. Her shaking hadn’t stopped. He pulled her to him. “Don’t be afraid,” said Edward. “I’m sorry to frighten you. It’s just…”

She embraced him back. He felt her drawing strength from him. It was the sort of thing that gave him strength, too.

“Just what?” she murmured. “What’s happening, Edward?”

“I’ll explain everything to you, I promise.” He stroked her hair.

“Are you in some sort of trouble? You’re in hiding? What happened?”

He pulled from her slightly to look her in the eyes. “Nothing that makes any sense. I promise you I’ll tell you everything. It’s just, there’s no time right now...”

“What was that out there?” she asked.

“Just a boy. He was following me.”

“Just a boy? Why’d you react like that?” She flipped the light switch behind him. The harsh light illuminated her face and the two trails of tears must have run down her cheeks.

“I thought it might have been something else.”

“Just tell me what’s happening, Edward. I need to know what’s happening.” She needs to know if this is going to work out. And I’ve got to tell her it’s over.

“Listen, Callista, I want to answer all of your questions. I really do. But I can’t. Right now. And I need to talk to you before I go right now.”

“Before you go right now?” she asked, incredulous. “Before you go right now?”

“Sit down. We need to talk.” He tried to lead her to a seat. She sprang back up and paced to the other side of the room.

“Listen to me, Edward,” she said. She twisted her hair up frantically, then let it go again. She turned to face the wall and then spun back around. “Something happened out there, Edward. And now you’re trying to break up with me before we’ve even gotten together. And you hid from a Jesuit. And you’ve just been acting weird. If you honestly think that you’re going to get out of here without telling me the truth, you’ve got rocks in your head.”

“It’s only to protect you,” said Edward.

She gave him a withering glare. “There’s one person who will definitely need protection if he leaves here without telling me what the hell’s going on.”

She stood with her hand on her hip. She was resolute.

For the second time in an hour, Edward denied his vision. He would have to make this future work. He had demonstrated conclusively to himself that he could not trust himself to be rational around Cali, even in the trance.

“It’s called the nirvana effect,” he said. “And Mahanta…”