Nirvana Effect

17



Dr. James Seacrest was knocking on her door. Callista was watching him through the peephole. Behind him she could see a red, distorted blob that could only be the cherry apple ‘95 Corvette that he’d bottomed out repeatedly in an effort to gain a date with her.

She made the mistake of pressing up against the door to get a better look out the peephole. The deadbolt clicked against the jamb.

“Callista?” asked Seacrest. “Are you there?” He squinted a bit.

Oh, God, I don’t want to do this right now. After Friday night, she’d avoided him. He’d called several times. She didn’t answer or call back. He’d showed up to the clinic twice. She’d had Duiyon tell him that Dr. Knowles was still seeing patients.

Watching that boy come back to life, watching that mother die and then resurrect all in the span of an eternal night, had touched a raw nerve. It was a desperation, a rush, an affinity that she hadn’t felt since her college years before med school.

She still missed the man she’d almost married eight years ago. She had dated, of course, and tried to forget him. She’d buried her regrets in the middle of a nowhere called Lisbaad.

And yet it had resurfaced, as it always did. She shouldn’t have expected anything else.

Ridiculous. She chose this one particular island so she might have a chance to relive her past. And yet she tried to bury it. Ridiculous.

She was right to bury, to forget. She had to assume he would never come; she had to get on with her life. The many voices of her friends, her family and herself all told her that.

She’d keep things going with Seacrest. He was a handsome man, a doctor, older than her, but still in his prime. No reason to stop. It might come to something. It might come to the new start she so hoped for.

She would ruin it, though, if she saw him before she got her head straight.

She couldn’t think of anything to answer him. He’d heard her. She couldn’t avoid him anymore. She saw him pace a bit on the porch. He probably feels like a fool.

“Coming!” cried Callista, as though she’d just heard him. “Just a minute!”

She sat down on the bench in her foyer and composed her thoughts. She breathed and thought. She wiped a tear off her face.

You’re coming apart at the seams, Callista. It’s just a boy out there. You’re acting like a traumatized wacko. You are Doctor Callista Knowles, not Cali, Oxford undergrad with a melting heart. Pull yourself together.

She saw him, though, in her mind’s eye. He wouldn’t bury, not yet. So she just tucked him into a corner of her mind and stood up. She opened the door.

Seacrest had flowers behind his back. He showed them to her. She smiled, but it took her too long to do so. She saw him reset his stance. It wasn’t a look she was used to from the typically over-confident Seacrest.

“Hello, Callista,” said Seacrest, gently passing her the flowers.

“Hello, James,” said Callista. “And thank you.”

“No problem,” said James. He examined her face, then fiddled with his pockets a bit. He seemed to be deliberating on something - something he’d seen in her eyes. He sighed quietly and smiled. “Thank you for the lovely evening Friday night. It was very good for my soul.”

She smiled back at him weakly. “You have a soul?” she muttered.

“Occasionally.” He smiled. She could tell it was only for her benefit. His body was a lot slacker than it had been just a second ago. Excitement had been replaced by something almost fatherly. “I want to let you know that whenever you’d like, I’d love to enjoy another dinner with you. And if that’s never, I’ll understand.”

Her smile faltered. He knows! In that moment she felt exposed, and yet safe. She nodded unconsciously. “Thank you, James.”

“Thank you,” he said. He tilted his hat. With his accent, it was almost ridiculous. She didn’t laugh, though. It was actually quite attractive. He looked at her meaningfully. “Goodbye, Callista,” said James. He turned to leave.

“Goodbye, James.” She leaned against the door frame as he drove off.

Oh, Edward.