My Brother's Keeper

Chapter 23



THURSDAY 29 NOVEMBER 2012

I have the dream again. The one of the car drifting down through the murky water thick with weed. Again it’s me inside the car. I’m in the front seat. My knobbly knees jut out from beneath the lace edge of my dress. The seat belt is tight across my chest as the car plummets down. Water bubbles up through the floor. Already it’s above my ankles, making my feet swollen and wobbly. The water is desperate to get into the car, cascading down from the tops of the windows, squirting out of the dashboard. The metal creaks and yaws with the pressure of the water trying to force its way in. The supermarket trolley, draped in long fingers of river weed, is buried in the silent grey mud beneath me. Falcon’s hands are around my neck. He’s crying. I take his hand in mine. Sticky, chubby little fingers. I look into his face, all gluey with tears and snot. It’s not Falcon. It’s Neo. ‘I don’t want to die,’ he says. ‘Don’t let me die.’

I startled awake to the sound of mynahs arguing in the tree outside the bedroom window. A distinctively Auckland sound; one of the sounds of my childhood. Sunny was curled up in bed beside me, her knees pulled up tight to her chest, her chin tucked into her neck. She looked heartbreakingly vulnerable. I hoped my dream hadn’t leached across and infiltrated hers. She must have plenty of nightmares of her own without mine adding to them. Slowly I extricated myself, careful not to wake her, and crept downstairs to make coffee.

I’d bought white bread for toast from the corner bakery and found some butter and marmalade in the fridge. I was pouring the coffee when Sunny rushed in, clutching her phone. ‘Neo’s totally freaked out. Dad’s at home and he and Salena are having this, like, huge fight. I’m going to get him. You can’t stop me.’

I flicked off the coffee and grabbed my jacket. ‘Neo rang you?’

‘I don’t care if it means I have to see Dad. I’m getting him out of there. He’s totally terrified.’ She held out her hand. ‘Give me the car keys.’

I pocketed them and made for the door. ‘Stay here. I’ll get him.’

She paused, unsure whether to argue with me, but I was already at the door. ‘I’ll bring him back, Sunny. It’ll be okay. Stay here.’ I closed the door before she insisted on coming with me.

It took less than ten minutes to get to the house. Justin’s BMW was parked across the pavement. Anton lounged in the driver’s seat, window down, elbow triangled across the frame. He watched me through the side mirror until I reached the gate, then his eyes lifted to stare directly at me. From the pavement the sound of Salena yelling could be heard all the way from the back of the house. Anton’s eyes were on me as I pushed the gate open and made my way towards the sound.

They were locked in a scuffle. Salena, red-faced, was trying to wrench her arms free, but Justin pinned her forearms against her hips and advanced on her, pushing her back towards the fridge. He kept his body close to hers so she couldn’t get any leverage. Over his shoulder Salena spotted me as I came through the open patio door. She increased her efforts.

‘You won’t get anywhere near her ever again and if you try I will kill you!’ Salena yelled at him and then set about trying to do just that.

I spotted Neo curled in a wicker chair in the corner of the room, his eyes squeezed shut, his hands over his ears. His eyes sprung open in fright from my touch.

‘It’s okay, Neo,’ I said. ‘I’ll sort this. Are you alright?’

He nodded. His sticky, tear-stained face brought my dream back to me in a rush.

‘I didn’t do anything,’ Justin said, struggling to keep Salena’s arms pinned. Her back was against the fridge, Justin’s body pressed against hers, so Salena did what any self-respecting street fighter would do. She kicked his shins.

‘I don’t ever want to see you again. You disgust me,’ she yelled and spat directly in his eyes. Instinctively, Justin let her go to wipe away the spit. With her arms freed she slapped him, a real roundhouse wallop across the side of his face. It made an impressive whip-crack sound that seemed to surprise them both. It must have hurt.

I closed in on them. ‘Stop! Stop now, you two, before things get really ugly.’

Justin turned at the sound of my voice. Salena took that as an invitation to punch him on the jaw. His head swung round from the impact. Instinctively, he grabbed her shoulders and pushed her hard against the fridge.

‘Don’t do that again, Salena.’ It sounded like a last-chance warning growl an animal makes before it attacks. Calm and very threatening. Most people would have backed off but it seemed to have the reverse effect on Salena.

She pushed her heated face up to his. ‘Or what? You’re going to hit me? Go on then! Do it!’

Justin’s fist pumped. I took a breath and possibly my life in my hands and squeezed in between them. The acrid smell of Justin’s sweat enveloped me. Facing Salena I held my arms up, hands open in the classic gesture of surrender. It effectively put my body as a block between them. I felt Justin pull away, leaving me pressed up against Salena’s body. Her breasts seemed incredibly hard and, well, there. I wasn’t used to grappling with breasts. I did my best to ignore them.

‘Don’t do this, Salena. Come on, don’t be stupid.’ I was definitely stronger than her and she didn’t fight me but her body was rigid with anger.

Justin headed purposefully towards the hall, then paused, his voice shaky. ‘I just came to get my things, that’s all. I’ll be out of here in ten minutes.’

Salena pushed against me, wanting to have another go at him. I blocked her.

‘Go cool off somewhere, Salena. Come on. Let him get his things.’

Justin was paused awkwardly in the doorway. ‘I don’t want him touching anything of mine,’ she yelled across the room at him. ‘And don’t you go anywhere near Sunny’s bedroom! You hear me?’ I was pretty sure the whole neighbourhood had heard her.

‘Listen, you two. I’ll stay here, okay?’ I looked to Justin for agreement. ‘Until he’s got his overnight stuff.’

Though his mouth worked, he nodded an agreement. I looked pointedly at Salena.

‘Okay. Okay,’ she said and grabbed her clutch purse from the table. ‘I’ll go to Courtney’s. Down the road,’ she added for my benefit. A long manicured nail was directed at Justin. ‘I will be back in fifteen minutes and you’d better be completely gone.’

Justin shrugged an agreement, his jaw clenched. Both of them seemed to have forgotten Neo, tightly curled in the wicker chair, his eyes darting from one parent to the other.

‘I’ll take Neo with me,’ I said, hoping to jog their memories. Neither responded, though I knew they’d heard me.

‘Just make sure this prick doesn’t take anything of mine,’ she said and left through the patio doors without so much as a glance towards Neo.

Justin watched her go, muttered ‘Crazy bitch’ and made for the interior of the house.

I knelt down in front of Neo and put my hands gently on his, which were capped over his ears. ‘It’s okay, Neo. They’ve stopped. It’s okay now.’ Slowly he lowered his hands. The dark rings under his eyes contrasted with the pallor of his skin. A strand of fine hair was stuck to his cheek by a smear of jam. He clutched his mobile phone in his chubby little hand like it was his only hope of rescue. ‘Why don’t you go and wait in your mum’s car.’ I handed him the car keys. ‘It’s parked right outside. I’ll be with you in a minute and we’ll go to my place. Sunny’s there. She’s waiting for you.’ He nodded and used his sleeve to wipe his nose. ‘You sure you’re okay?’

‘Yep,’ he said, his voice croaky. ‘Is my mum okay?’

‘She’s fine. She’s gone to have a coffee with a friend. She’ll be back soon.’ He nodded again and unfolded himself from the chair.

‘Text Sunny that you’re okay. Tell her we’ll be there in fifteen minutes.’

‘Okay,’ he said. He was already texting with one hand as he opened the back door with the other.

Justin was in the bedroom, throwing clothes in a travel bag haphazardly. ‘It’s just my stuff, alright? I’m not touching anything of hers.’

I perched on a stool in front of the dresser. He looked a wreck. His bottom lip was swollen and his jaw bloomed from Salena’s punch.

‘I didn’t come here to police you, Justin. I came to get Neo. Sunny was worried about him.’

He glanced nervously at me. ‘Is she okay?’

‘Not really. No.’

He stared at the contents of the bag as if it didn’t make sense. It didn’t. Half a dozen shirts and no pants or undies. But he wasn’t really looking at his packing.



‘I didn’t do anything. This whole thing is bullshit. She needs to know that.’

I gave him my most cynical look. He glared back at me.

‘I would never take photos of Sunny undressed! Jesus. I’d never go anywhere near her like that. The whole idea disgusts me! It wasn’t me who took the photos.’ He wrestled another half a dozen shirts out of the wardrobe. ‘But I’ll tell you this: when I find out who did, I’ll kill the bastard!’

‘Stay away from her, Justin.’

‘I’m not going anywhere near her. Actually,’ he said, and paused to yank the bag’s zip closed, ‘it’s probably better if I don’t see her again.’

I tried to study his face, but he kept his head averted from me. There was something odd about his behaviour. Something I couldn’t quite get a handle on.

‘If you are innocent, how can that be right for Sunny?’ He didn’t answer, just hefted the bag onto the floor.

‘What happened in Wellington, Justin?’

He turned to me, hands on hips. ‘What?’

‘Friday night when you went to Wellington to see Karen. What happened?’

‘Nothing happened.’ He walked into the en suite, talking sullenly over his shoulder. ‘I went to ask her not to meet Sunny. I thought it was too soon. I wanted Karen to wait until she was a bit older. She’s just a kid’

‘And you gave her a photo of Sunny?’

He reappeared zipping up a toilet bag. ‘I hoped it would be enough for Karen. For a while anyway. I mean, I understood she wanted to know what her daughter looked like and all. She was only seven last time Karen saw her. But I didn’t think Sunny was ready for it. I was convinced of it. I’m her dad.’

The statement hung in the air between us. I had to fight to suppress the bile burning into my stomach lining. Yeah, he was her dad, alright. The same dad who, meanwhile, was taking pornographic photos of her. He’d heard it, too, I think, and kept his head down as he pushed the toilet bag into a top pocket of the travel bag. I thought he’d finished and was surprised when he started up again.

‘But then, when I talked to Karen, I realised I was wrong. She’d paid her debt for … what she did. She’d changed. She told me she was going to a Christian commune in the States. I told her to take Sunny with her. Travel a bit. Get to know each other.’

I snorted in disbelief. ‘I don’t believe you. Why would you go from not wanting them to meet, to suddenly deciding Sunny should go off overseas and live with her.’

There was something he wasn’t telling me. He looked at me, his mouth working, but then he clamped it tight and hefted his bag to the floor. The moment had passed. I gave it one more shot.

‘Karen hired me to find out if you were molesting Sunny.’

He shrugged himself in a jacket. ‘You’re lying. I don’t believe Karen would ever think that of me.’ He seemed surprisingly calm and confident about that.

‘Okay, it’s true she didn’t actually say you were molesting her,’ I admitted. ‘But she did say she wanted to make sure Sunny was okay — that she was safe.’ His eyes flicked from side to side as if he was reading text. ‘And she was right; Sunny wasn’t safe with you, was she?’ A flicker of confusion crossed his face. ‘Is that what happened, Justin? Karen threatened to go to the cops and tell them what you were doing? Is that why you killed her?’

He was following his own thoughts and answered me by rote. ‘I didn’t kill Karen. Even the cops know I didn’t kill her. Ask them.’

‘Salena said there are other charges pending. It’s just a matter of time.’

‘That’s not about Karen’s death. It’s more of this shit. They’re going to upgrade the charges against me for the photos of Sunny. I’ve never even seen those photos before. The cops tried to make me look at them but I wouldn’t do it. The first one was enough for me. It made me sick. I’d never do anything like that to Sunny. Karen knew that.’ I must have been looking at him sceptically. ‘I didn’t kill Karen and I didn’t take those photos of Sunny, but, you know what? I don’t care what you think.’ He yanked up the bag and carried it to the door.

There was only one other possibility. ‘Did you kill Falcon? Is that what Karen had over you?’

He dropped the bag and advanced on me, his face blotchy with rage and didn’t stop until his face was right up close to mine. I stood my ground but I was intimidated. ‘Every f*cking day of my life I miss that little boy. I loved my son more than life itself. Nothing and no one can ever fill the hole Falcon’s death left in me.’

We both turned at the sound. It was Neo. He stood in the doorway, mobile phone still clutched in his hand. Justin looked at him. He knew Neo had heard him. I expected him to cross the room to Neo. To put his arms around his son and reassure him that he was the centre of his life. He didn’t. Hoisting the bag over his shoulder, Justin pushed past Neo and continued down the hall. We listened to him clatter down the stairs, then heard the front door slam shut. Neo was frozen to the spot, staring in the direction his father had gone.

‘Come on.’ I put my hand on Neo’s shoulder. ‘Let’s go see Sunny.’

Neo shrugged my hand off his shoulder. ‘I want to go with Dad.’

As if in response, Justin’s car roared out of the driveway, gravel spitting. In silence we listened to it turn into Jervois Road and then the individual sound of his car accelerating was swallowed up by the noise of the other traffic.

The tears made Neo’s eyes look enormous.

‘Come on, Neo. Let’s go.’

‘Why didn’t he take me?’ he asked plaintively. It was the last thing I expected him to say.

I offered Neo a seat in the front but he said he liked it better in the back. He didn’t respond to any of my gambits at conversation but I heard him pulling stuff out of his schoolbag and hoped he was content enough until we got to where Sunny was waiting for him only a short distance down the road.

My phone rang and, where normally I would answer it, the responsibility of having a kid in the back seat made me law-abiding — I’d always wondered what it would take.

Sunny was waiting on the pavement when we pulled up. Ignoring me, she opened the back door for her brother and walked him into the house. A casual arm over his shoulder, she chatted reassuringly to him while I listened to the message on my phone. It was Fanshaw, wanting to know why I had dropped a phone into the police station for him with no message on it.

‘Unless, of course, this is some kind of oblique post modern reference to our relationship,’ he quipped. Ha ha, very funny. I must have accidentally erased Karen’s message when I unplugged the phone. Stellar work, Diane. Excellent.

Sunny and Neo had set up house in the spare room. Like a weird little couple they squatted on the bed, legs out in front, their backs against the pillows, their heads close together as they studied the iPad.

‘Has this place got a network?’ Sunny asked without looking up. Before I could answer, Neo traced something on the screen.

‘We don’t need one,’ he said. ‘It’s got a SIM card.’ He frowned at the screen and then tapped it. His face lit up with triumph. ‘There you go,’ he said, relinquishing the iPad to Sunny.

‘You’re so clever,’ Sunny said and kissed the top of his head.

‘Facebook is already loading,’ he told her.

‘Are you sure this is a good idea, Sunny?’ One night in the company of a teenager and already I was sounding like a parent.

She answered without looking away from the screen. ‘I need to know what they’re saying about me,’ she said.

Distraction might work for two-year-olds, but I was pretty sure it wasn’t even worth trying on a teenager. Tragically, distraction was the only parenting trick I knew. I was still rummaging around in my memory bank for how to say no to a teenager when something else occurred to me.

‘I thought the police took away all your computers?’

‘They didn’t look in my schoolbag,’ Neo said, with barely a glance in my direction. ‘I was wearing it.’



Sunny was intently scrolling through her Facebook, a look of horror on her face. She wasn’t paying me any interest at all. Neo kept glancing at his sister, his concern deepening.

‘Do you synch your iPad with any of the other computers?’ I asked.

‘Yeah, sure. The C: Drive at the gym. I keep my games there.’

I don’t think Neo realised the implications, but Sunny did. Her head shot up. We blinked at each other.

‘They’re on here, aren’t they?’ Before I could respond, she hurled the iPad across the room. It smacked against the wall and clattered to the floor. Neo’s lower lip curled like a cartoon character about to cry. Sunny clambered off the bed and ushered him towards the door ahead of her. ‘Come on, buddy, we’re going to Tank. You can have whatever juice you want.’ She turned at the door, her neck craning round. ‘Get rid of them!’ she hissed at me, her lips tight. ‘Just delete the shit out of them!’

I called out, ‘Don’t go far,’ as she left the room and was rewarded with an ironic look over her shoulder in response. Clearly, I didn’t have the parenting thing sussed yet.

There were thirty-six photos of Sunny. They had all been taken at the same time and in the same place. The shots were angled from a position between Sunny and the full-length mirror she was performing to. It meant there were two images of her in every photo. The camera had been set low and tilted up towards her. Several of the shots revealed the distinctive exposed kauri ceiling crossbeams I had enthused over when I met Sunny and her father in his office. A three-walled screen partition gave some privacy from the rest of the room. Some of the shots were framed either side by draped material, giving them an odd old-fashioned silent movie appearance. Sunny was right. The camera had been hidden among a row of hanging clothes. She had no reason to suspect she was being filmed. These days, high-end security cameras are pretty much invisible unless you know what you’re looking for.

The photos weren’t all that pornographic. What made the images tragic was that the girl in them was just that — a girl of fourteen and a young fourteen at that — with her skinny little child’s body only just beginning to imagine itself as a woman. Soft porn, hard porn — what’s the defining line? She was a child rehearsing the gyrations of sex and seduction techniques gleaned from music videos and girlie magazines sold at corner dairies. I certainly didn’t view the images as sexy, though no doubt paedophiles would. I felt world-weary as I looked at the photos. It seemed to me Sunny’s attempts at sexy were more a poignant parody of sexuality than the real thing. In one photo she mimed masturbation. In another she had pulled her skirt up to her waist to reveal her arse to the mirror. It was all to the mirror. All young girls are narcissists. When they’re not loathing their bodies they’re adoring them. In the privacy of the room, her relationship with the mirror was everything as she attempted to see herself as men would see her: sexy, provocative and inviting. Her performances should never have been photographed by anyone. But what made the whole thing frightening and truly ghastly was that these very personal moments had been captured by her father. The routines were private, for her eyes only. People talk about feeling dirty when they view pornography, but I didn’t feel dirty. I just felt immensely sad that these very innocent adolescent moments had been so cruelly taken from her. By her father. They belonged to her and no one else. Sunny had been dispossessed. One by one I deleted them. When I had finished and they were all gone, I would empty the cache.

A thought occurred to me and I hesitated before deleting the last image. I right-clicked on it and checked the shot information. It had been downloaded on Tuesday 27 November 2012. That was the day I had talked to Sunny at the gym. I cleared the shot information from the screen and forced myself to study the photo forensically; Sunny was wearing the T-shirt I had balked at. The one with ‘eat me’ written over her crotch. I checked what time the photo had been taken: eight o’clock. That was about an hour and half after I had left the gym. My knee stung as a reminder. Justin had attacked me when I was running in the park. If the time matched, he couldn’t have taken the photos. My mind raced. Justin’s claims of innocence had sounded convincing but I hadn’t paid them much heed. But if these photos were taken and downloaded at the time Justin was attacking me in the park — I needed to check that my memory of the time was accurate. But how to pinpoint it? And then I remembered. Aaron Fanshaw had phoned me minutes after my encounter with Justin as I had limped ignominiously through the park to Richmond Road. My phone was recharging in the bedroom, still attached by its umbilicus to the powerpoint. I had to squat down on the floor to reach it. Carefully, I checked the recent calls and there it was; the call from Fanshaw: 8.48 p.m. Tuesday 27 November 2012. I sat back on my heels. Justin couldn’t have taken the photos, he was way too busy attacking me at the time. But Anton had been at the gym. He’d caught me behind the counter while I was checking out Justin’s flight to Wellington on the work computer. I pictured Anton’s eyes sliding towards Sunny.

Finally the pieces were falling into place. Still on the floor, I rang Arohata Prison and managed to convince the superintendent to let me talk to Vex. I waited impatiently for her to come to the phone. There was a lot of clattering and crashing and echoing sounds at the prison end and a fair bit of me muttering ‘come on, come on’ at my end but, eventually, Vex picked up the phone.

‘What do you want, Diane?’

‘I need to ask you a question.’

She didn’t answer, but she didn’t hang up the phone either. You take what you can get.

‘You told me that when Norma and Karen made up, Norma changed her will to make Karen the benefactor.’ I heard the door downstairs open and close. Sunny and Neo were back. The clatter of their footsteps on the stairs. I didn’t have much time.

‘Who did Norma name as benefactor before she changed it to Karen?’

It wasn’t Sunny on the stairs. It was Ned and he was standing right behind me.

Vex’s voice sounded tinny and far away.

‘Her stepson. His name’s Ned something, I think.’