Marriage Matters

Fifty-nine

Chloe was so busy with the wedding, Geoff, Mary Beth, her job and her internship, that she had little choice but to stay up until four in the morning to finish the final term paper for her Theories in Psych class. After a few precious hours of sleep, she raced across town to turn it in, hating the fact that her professor wouldn’t just let them submit by email.

As her chapped red hands hovered over the basket, Chloe hesitated. Was the paper good enough? She was too exhausted to be objective anymore. Her grades were good enough but in her heart, she didn’t want to be good—she wanted to be great. At this point, she just had to cross her fingers and hope for the best.

Dropping the paper in the basket, she made a mental promise to do everything possible to prepare for the final exam. That was the score that could really make a difference. Unfortunately, she had to break that promise as quickly as she made it.

A group of students were filing into class for a final exam review but she had to duck right back out. Today was the only day Geoff had available to help her register, so after repeated phone calls from June asking her to get it done, she figured it was now or never.

Chloe waved at his doorman as she raced toward the elevator, her backpack banging against her arm. The ride up was calm, with the elevator seeming to lose all oxygen as it sped toward the upper floors. It was almost like meditation. Of course, the peace and quiet was shattered the moment the elevator doors slid open.

“No, no, no, no, no!” Mary Beth’s screams were accompanied by the sound of tin clanking against the ground. It was a wonder the neighbors didn’t call the police.

“What the heck?” Chloe rushed for Geoff’s door. It was already half open, in anticipation of her arrival. She rushed in to find her fiancé cowering in the kitchen as Mary Beth systematically threw pieces from her tin tea party set against the ground.

Other than the tea set, the apartment was as immaculate as always. Lacquered black tables that were perfectly polished. Windows sparkling in the morning sunlight. The city of Chicago looming beyond them like some shining fortress.

“Hey.” Chloe rushed across the room and scooped up Mary Beth. Not in a hug, but in a sleeper hold. “What on earth is going on here?”

Mary Beth let out a piercing scream, and Chloe carried her over to the couch and stared her down until she stopped. Finally, Mary Beth stuck her fingers in her mouth. “Daddy won’t take me to the park.”

“Daddy can’t take you to the park. Because it’s cold outside and because Daddy and I have to register for our wedding presents. But,” she said, watching the fingers come out and that little mouth open in preparation for another scream, “if you’re a good girl today, I can get you a present, too.”

Geoff came striding out of the kitchen as though he hadn’t spent the last few minutes under attack and kissed Chloe on the top of her head. “Hello.”

“Hi.” Chloe’s eyes widened, and she hoped she didn’t look as tired as she felt.

“I actually have a surprise for the both of you.” Geoff cleared his throat and folded the cuffs on his tweed jacket. “You two get to go shopping together!”

Chloe looked at him, confused. “Geoff, that won’t work. We’re going to be around china and crystal. That’s not gonna go well, if you know what I . . .” Her voice trailed off. “Wait. What do you mean, by ‘you two’?”

“One of my patients is in crisis.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry but I have to go in.”

“Honey, you should have called me.” She looked at her watch. The exam review had started fifteen minutes ago. It would be another dash, but she still might be able to catch the end. “Alright.” Grabbing her backpack, she headed for the door. “Mary Beth, we’ll have to go shopping another day. Geoff, when do you want to reschedule?”

Geoff’s face flushed. “Chloe . . .” With raised eyebrows, he indicated his daughter. She got the message. He hadn’t called to let her know about the change in plans because he’d expected her to be perfectly happy about the idea of watching Mary Beth.

Maybe she was overly tired, but she suddenly felt so defeated. It was one thing to work together as a team, to raise his—their—daughter, but geez. It was obvious that Geoff saw his job as more important than anything she could possibly have to do. Instead of calling a sitter, he expected that she wouldn’t mind the fact that he not only broke their plans, but chose to pawn Mary Beth onto her, as well.

“Geoff, I have a huge final coming up.” Chloe’s ponytail swung back and forth as she shook her head. “I’m missing the review, like, right now. If we can’t register, I have to—”

Striding over, he pulled her into his arms. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “But Mary Beth’s been having such a hard time. I didn’t want to leave her with a stranger. Please.” Geoff took her hands and smiled, his eyes crinkling in the corners. “I’ll help you with the final. We’ll have our own study group. Later.”

Chloe sighed. “Okay, but when are we going to register? June needs us to do that.”

“June needs us to do that?” He adjusted his ascot, giving her a half-smile. “Am I marrying June?”

Actually, yes. He might not know it yet, but he was. She had a feeling her father could attest to that.

“All of her friends have been asking,” Chloe said. “Hasn’t Rue said anything to you?”

“Yes, of course she has,” he said. “But I’ve already done all this. The wedding thing.”

“The wedding thing?” She drew back as though he’d slapped her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“The parties, the invitations, the registering . . .”

“It’s your wedding, too,” she said slowly. “Doesn’t it matter to you at all?”

Geoff looked over at Mary Beth. She was sitting in silence, watching the scene unfold with fascination. “Listen.” He took Chloe’s hands. “The wedding is very important to me but it’s more important to me that you enjoy yourself. I’m sorry I can’t go today. I really am.”

Reaching into his wallet, he passed over a platinum credit card. “Call up your mom and June. Go out there and have a good time.”

“Um . . .” Chloe stared at the card. “Registering doesn’t mean you purchase the gifts. Typically, the guests purchase them for you.”

“You’re so funny.” He kissed the top of her head again. “Buy your mom and June lunch and have a wonderful day. Then tonight, I’ll take you out to that Italian place you like so much.”

Chloe felt a small pang in her chest, remembering the last time she had been to her favorite Italian restaurant. “I won’t have time for any of that.” She handed the card back to him. “Look, I’ll take Mary Beth for a few hours, but after that I’m going to need to go register. For both of us. Okay?”

Geoff looked relieved. “Thank you for understanding.”

Chloe nodded. But she didn’t understand. If he didn’t want to go through the whole “wedding thing” again, why get married at all?

Pressing her fingers into the area under her eyes, she reminded herself to keep it in perspective. To slow down, to relax. Considering she’d only gotten four hours of sleep, this situation probably seemed much more intense than it was.

Turning to Mary Beth, Chloe gave her a big smile. “What do you say, kid? Let’s go have some fun.”

* * *

By the time Mary Beth was bundled up in her pink puffy coat, purple knit hat and matching gloves, Chloe had lost the desire to keep things in perspective. She was fuming. Geoff didn’t even say good-bye. He headed straight for his office to make business calls before meeting the client in crisis.

The moment she and Mary Beth were outside the apartment, Chloe got down on her knees. Mary Beth’s nose was bright red from the cold and her brown curls framed her face. “I have a secret to tell you,” Chloe said. “One that you can’t tell your dad.”

Mary Beth hopped up and down. “What’s the secret? What’s the secret?”

“The secret is . . .” She let out a deep breath. “We’re going ice-skating!”

Chloe and Ben had been ice-skating together every year since the rink had been open. At first, Ben had to talk her into doing it. She was scared to put all her weight on a thin little blade, convinced she’d snap an ankle. But once he showed her how to balance and start gliding, she fell in love. It was something she looked forward to every year.

“Oh! I can’t wait until you and Daddy get married,” Mary Beth said. “We can play all the time.”

“Yup.” Chloe nodded. “That will be lots of fun. Give me just one second, then we’ll go.”

Getting to her feet, she pulled her phone out of her purse. Taking another deep breath, she dialed. “Hey,” she said, surprised he actually picked up. “What are you doing? I could really use your help.”

* * *

Chloe felt him before she saw him. Walking up behind her, Ben clamped a hand down on her shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze. “Hey, stranger,” he said.

For some reason that she didn’t understand, Chloe felt her eyes fill with tears. “Hey,” she said, turning to face him. “Thank you so much for coming.”

Ben’s blue eyes sparkled and his lips turned up into a half-smile. “Couldn’t handle the little one on your own? Needed an expert?”

Without waiting for her answer, he walked over to Mary Beth and tugged on her skate. “I bet I can skate faster than you.”

Mary Beth looked at Chloe, confused.

“This is my best friend, Ben,” Chloe explained. “I’ve known him since I was just a little older than you.”

Mary Beth stuck her mitten in her mouth. “I can skate faster than you,” she said, giving him a sly look.

Ben tweaked her nose. “No. I can skate faster than you.”

“I can skate faster than you!” Mary Beth shouted, then dissolved into giggles.

Chloe was impressed. “Wow. You really do have a way with women.”

Ben shrugged, his wool coat moving up and down with his shoulders. “It’s a gift.” Extending his hands, he pulled Mary Beth to her feet. Smiling at Chloe, he said, “Let’s do this.”

They walked out onto the smooth surface of the rink and Chloe slid forwards a couple of feet. She loved the sound of the metal blade cutting through the ice and the feeling of the wind on her cheeks. Turning, she beckoned to Mary Beth. “Come on,” she said. “Skate to me.”

It took some help from Ben but Mary Beth did it, her hand fixed carefully on the wall. Studying the other kids flying past her around the rink, the little girl dropped her hand and said, “I want to do that.”

“Go ahead,” Chloe said. “You can do it.”

Mary Beth took a couple of plodding steps, then started to get the hang of it. A little boy tried to hold her hand. She pushed him away.

“Wait until she gets really good,” Chloe told Ben. “She’ll trip him.”

Ben laughed. Companionably, they leaned against the wall. Chloe tried not to think about the last time they had seen each other. The way it had ended in a fight.

“It’s funny to watch you with her,” he finally said. “It’s pretty obvious that she adores you.”

Chloe laughed. “Thanks, but that’s not true. She only likes me when I do what she wants.”

The thought made her sad. She’d always been so good with kids but for whatever reason, Mary Beth was not attached to her in any way. Yes, they were making progress, but it was frustrating to think that there were kids at Tiny Tumblers who cared about her more than her soon-to-be daughter did. Chloe knew they had a lot of work ahead of them before they’d achieve any sort of unbreakable bond, but if that were the case, they’d just have to keep trying.

“So . . .” Ben nudged her. “How’s everything going? Are you happy?”

“Sure.” Chloe noticed that the tip of her nose was frozen. The year before, she and Ben had competed to see whose nose could get the absolute coldest. Of course, he had cheated, dipping his nose into a Coke and then standing there in the wind.

“Good,” he said. “I’m glad you called.”

Ben walked onto the ice and skated a few feet, the sweet spice of his cologne floating after him like the essence of a ghost.

“I miss hanging out with you,” Chloe said. “I . . . I miss you.”

Ben stopped skating. After a moment, he clomped over to her and held on to the wall. “Things have changed, you know?” Pointedly, he eyed the ring. “We can’t be the way we used to.”

“Why not?” she demanded. “If we’re really friends, why can’t we just—”

Ben took a step toward her. “Because,” he said. “It doesn’t work like that.”

“We kissed.” Chloe looked down at her hands. “Big, freaking deal . . .”

“It was,” Ben said, his voice quiet.

As a slow flush crept from her head to the tips of her toes, Chloe knew he was right. She thought back to the kiss. The hunger behind it, the need. Their friendship would never be the same.

“Come on,” he said. “Let’s go hang out with the little one. I’ve gotta get out of here pretty soon.”

“A date?” Putting her hands to her mouth, she blew on them in an effort to stay warm.

Ben took off his gloves and handed them to her. “Yup,” he said. “I guess you know me pretty well.”

As Mary Beth did yet another round on the ice in the kid’s section, Ben slid over to an empty corner. There, he performed a series of twists and turns they’d perfected over the years. Chloe took a careful step toward him.

“Go for it,” he called. “Do a turn.”

“No.” Chloe hesitated. “I think I’m just gonna keep it simple.”

The wedding was close. She didn’t want to get hurt.

* * *

Kristine rushed into the homewares section at Macy’s. Colorful china sets were on display from floor to ceiling, positioned alongside polished silver. Chloe stood in the center of all of this, looking completely lost. She was dressed in her typical jeans, backpack and sweatshirt.

Spotting her, Chloe’s gray eyes lit up with relief. “I’m so glad you’re here.” Rushing forwards, she said, “I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.”

As Kristine hugged her daughter, she could feel Chloe’s ribs through the sweatshirt. “Honey,” she scolded. “I don’t care how busy you are. We’re getting dinner after this. Steaks.”

“Mom, you sound like Dad,” she scoffed, pulling away.

The words pained Kristine. Ever since Kevin told her about the promotion, she had been filled with so much guilt, confusion and anger that she’d barely been able to speak to Kevin on the phone. Then, when he’d come home for his midweek break, he tried to touch her but she pushed him away. Kevin had looked at her, his eyes a mix of hurt and anger, then he’d gone back to his refuge in the basement.

“Besides,” Chloe said, snapping Kristine out of her reverie, “eating is the least of my worries.”

Pointedly, she eyed a couple across the way. They wandered through the china section, consulting with each other on practically every piece. The guy had his hand on the girl’s lower back and she giggled at everything he said.

“I mean, where do these people come from?” Chloe demanded. “I bet they’re not even a real couple. I bet the store hires them to coo over each other all day and make the rest of us feel like shit.”

Kristine looked at her in surprise. This attitude wasn’t like Chloe, not at all. She was normally very even-keeled. Hoping to get to the bottom of whatever was going on, Kristine said, “Tell me again why Geoff couldn’t come.”

“He had to go into the office.” Chloe shrugged. “He’s got a client in crisis.”

“But doesn’t he know he has a fiancée in crisis?” Kristine said, hoping for a smile.

It didn’t come. Instead, Chloe picked up a white plate and ran her finger over the silver-plated pattern on the edge. “Look, his job isn’t easy. Someone could have tried to commit suicide or something. Who knows? I don’t blame him for going.”

“Right . . .” Kristine said slowly. “But why isn’t he here now? Does a crisis last all day?”

Chloe set down the plate. “It’s an excuse. Obviously.” She sighed. “He’s already been married. He’s done the whole ‘pick out a china pattern’ thing. I totally get it.”

Kristine had always admired her daughter’s empathy. She had such great insight into what made people tick. On the other hand, there was such a thing as being too empathetic. If Geoff didn’t want to invest time in the wedding, he probably wouldn’t invest time in the marriage, either. “Chloe, I—”

“Do you like this?” Chloe picked up a teacup and regarded her with those gray eyes. “Cool, right?” The cup was white bone china, with a pink design cut through it. It dangled precariously from her fingers.

“It’s a little trendy,” she said, careful to keep her voice gentle. “You might want to look for something—”

“Am I making a mistake?” Chloe blurted out. Her face crumpled and immediately, tears began streaming down her face.

“Oh, honey.” Surprised, she pulled her daughter into her arms. “Honey, calm down. It’s going to be okay.”

A salesclerk made a move to approach them but Kristine gave a sharp shake of her head. The woman winked. Ah, yes. The registration meltdown, her face seemed to say. Subtly, she pointed to an area just around the corner. There was a tiny nook with a couch, some magazines and no shoppers.

“Here.” Kristine guided her daughter to the couch. “Have a seat.”

Chloe flopped down, putting her head in her hands. Kristine’s heart ached. Chloe looked awful. Exhausted, stressed out. Maybe registration meltdowns were common, but this was obviously about more than just picking out pots and pans.

Silently, Kristine rubbed her back, wondering what to say. It had been so much easier to council Chloe when she was younger. The problems were so much simpler. A bad grade, a losing shot in the basketball game, a junior high crush . . . These pains were easy to fix with a walk around the block or a bowl of ice cream. But relationships were so much more complex.

“You okay?” she finally asked.

“No,” Chloe mumbled, sniffling. “I’m embarrassed. The only time someone should cry at Macy’s is when there’s a good sale.”

Kristine bit her lip. There it was, the Kevin humor shining through. He’d much rather crack a joke than deal with real emotions. Chloe had picked up the same defense.

“It’s okay to cry,” she said. “You know, you and June always make fun of me for it but it’s a heck of a lot better than trying to keep all of your emotions bottled up inside.”

Chloe nodded, letting out a huge sigh. “I know.”

“You have so much going on, honey.” Kristine touched her knee. “I don’t know how you handle it all.” She glanced at her daughter’s engagement ring. The diamond was cloudy and needed to be cleaned. “Does Geoff do things like this a lot?” she asked. “Make plans with you and break them?”

Chloe dabbed at her eyes with her sweatshirt. “No.”

Kristine reached into her purse and found a packet of tissues. “Here. Blow your nose.”

Chloe gave her a look. “Mother, I’m not five.” But she still blew her nose.

After a long moment, she wadded up the tissue. “Geoff doesn’t break plans at the last minute. It’s just . . .” She played with the tissue for a moment, then twisted it around her finger. “He’s always pushing Mary Beth on me. I understand. I mean, I’m going to be her mother.” Her lower lip trembled. “But it’s too much. When I’ve got school and planning this wedding and . . .”

“Have you talked with him about it?”

“Yes, kind of.” Chloe shook her head, glum. “But now that Mary Beth’s mother is back, he’s all worried that Mary Beth will get confused and he really wants to solidify my place in her life. Which is great, you know? But it’s just too much to handle right now. I wish I could just take it at my own pace.”

The salesclerk poked her head around the corner. “How’s it going back here? Did you have any questions about china?”

“No.” Chloe chewed on her top lip. “Just a few questions about marriage.”

The salesclerk smiled. “I understand. We get that a lot around here.”

“And what’s the verdict?” Chloe gave a little laugh. When the salesclerk made a move to answer, Chloe shook her head. “I’m just kidding.”

The salesclerk didn’t laugh. She had to be in her late fifties, with light brown hair and a carefully made-up face. “You know, there were many years where I wondered why I ever got married. And then, why I bothered to stay the course.” She shrugged and her tailored pink blazer moved up and down with the motion. “But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that you don’t have to figure it all out right now. Life is long and love has a way of working itself out.”

“And if it doesn’t?” Chloe stared straight ahead, her hands gripping her knees.

“Well.” The salesclerk thought for a moment. “Then I guess you’ll leave the marriage with half a set of really nice china.”

Chloe looked at her in surprise.

“That is,” the salesclerk said with a smile, “if I do my job correctly.”

That made Chloe laugh. She threw back her head and laughed and laughed, until Kristine and the salesclerk finally joined in, too. “That’s more like it,” the woman said, handing her a registry gun. “This is the fun part. Save the serious stuff for the chapel.”