Marriage Matters

Seventeen

That night, The Places You’ll Go hosted an event for an Indian cookbook.

Pakshi, the author, was a tiny woman who served up a whole lot of laughter. Walking from this side of the makeshift stage to that, she gave a brief lecture seasoned with jokes about the pronunciation of cumin, her first attempt at cooking laddoos and the trials of loving a man allergic to curry. She not only entertained the crowd, but sold a ton of cookbooks as well.

At the end of the night, Kristine stood at the door, saying good-byes and thank-yous to the regulars and a whole crop of new customers. Most of them were carrying shopping bags stocked with a freshly bought cookbook, travel guides or other trinkets.

When the last person left, Kristine surveyed the mess from the event. It really wasn’t bad, just a few dirty wineglasses lying around and trays of appetizers that needed to be stored or tossed in the trash. Annie, who had come in to help out, was assisting Ethan with picking up the trash.

Checking the time on her watch, Kristine was grateful that she’d make it home before Kevin. That would give her plenty of time to think of exactly what she needed to say to get him to agree to come to Italy. She’d left him a message earlier about it but he hadn’t called her back, which was not a good sign.

“Okay,” Annie said as Ethan tied up the trash bag. She tugged at her dress, an adorable eighties-style striped sweater she’d partnered with a pair of bright red leggings. “I have to hit the road. It’s movie date night.”

Kristine hesitated. “Annie, just five more minutes? And we’ll all be out of here?”

“Sorry.” Annie pulled a sad face. “Roger freaks out if he misses a preview. You know how it is.”

Actually, Kristine didn’t know. She and Kevin hadn’t gone to the movies in years. Would he care if they missed the previews? It was anybody’s guess.

“Okay.” She tried to keep the grumble out of her voice. Annie didn’t have to come in to help out at all. She’d done it to be nice, since she wasn’t certain Ethan knew how to run an event. But, of course, he’d done just fine. “Have fun. Eat some popcorn for me.”

“Absolutely,” Annie said. “Piled high with Milk Duds.” Blowing kisses, she darted out the front door.

Ethan laughed, watching her go. “She’s got spirit. I like her.”

Kristine picked up a stack of signed cookbooks and moved them to a display. The books smelled sharp and petroleum-like, as though they’d just been printed. Then she turned to see what else needed to be done.

“Ethan, I can finish everything up,” she said. “Thanks for all your help today.”

“I really don’t mind—” he started to say as Kristine’s cell phone rang in her pocket.

It was Kevin. Either his flight was delayed or he landed earlier than usual. “Excuse me,” she told Ethan. “I have to get this.” Rushing back to her office, she said, “Kevin? Hello?”

“Hey, Firecracker.” His voice sounded tired like it always did when he traveled. She could hear an automated announcement in the background and a blur of voices pass by. “Listen, I’m not going to make it home tonight. We had some . . . mechanical trouble.”

“What?” Kristine grabbed the edge of her desk and held on tight. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, it was just one engine. No big deal. When it’s two, well . . .” Kevin gave a little laugh.

Kristine’s eyes drank in the many photos of her family that decorated her desk, landing on one of her favorites. It was a picture of her and Kevin at the Chicago Zoo. A llama stood next to them, grinning as though mugging for the camera.

“I’m in St. Louis,” Kevin said. “I’m going to sit in my hotel room, drink a beer and watch a movie. I’ll come home tomorrow morning. Okay?”

Kristine closed her eyes. “I’m glad you’re alright.” Even though she did her best not to worry, things like this made it hard. After a long moment, she blew out a breath. “Well,” she said. “Hopefully that won’t happen when we fly over the ocean.”

Kevin was quiet for a long moment. “Kris, I can’t do it. I can’t go.”

Kristine’s heart sunk. “Why?” she practically whispered. “Kevin, it’s—”

“It’s a lot of unnecessary stress,” he said. “Look, if I’m going to take a vacation, I want to do something relaxing. Something that’s fun for me, too. Like my trip to Canada with the guys.”

Kristine’s eyes widened. Even though she knew his annual hunting trip was important to him, she’d never once dreamed that it was more important than her. But he’d said that. Her husband had just said exactly that.

“Wow.” She sank into her desk chair. “I . . . Wow.” The pictures, so neatly displayed in their frames, suddenly looked blurry.

“Firecracker, going to Rome would put unnecessary attention on me at work, it would . . .”

Ethan peeked through the glass window on the door. He held up a bag of trash and mouthed, “Don’t lock me out.”

Numbly, Kristine nodded. What would Ethan say if he knew how little interest her husband had in her? It was so humiliating.

As Kevin continued his litany of reasons, Kristine stared at a photograph of the two of them watching the sun set over Lake Michigan. She could still remember the cool air on her cheeks, the warmth of his arm and the scent of the bonfire they’d built. She’d been so in love, so happy, so smug, she realized now, imagining that they could stay that close forever.

“I’m sorry,” Kevin was saying. “I really am. In a few years, when I retire—”

“Oh, just stop it,” Kristine cried, surprising herself. “To be honest, I expected it. Everyone, including our own daughter, knew that I would be going to Rome alone. And today, I thought I wouldn’t go at all, if you wouldn’t come with me. But . . .” She tightened her grip on the phone. It wasn’t right! Why should she miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime just because her husband would rather go hunting with the guys? “I’m going.” Her voice was defiant. “With or without you.”

As she said the words, the heavy weight that had settled around her heart seemed to float away. Why shouldn’t she? It was about time she stopped waiting on Kevin to start living her life.

“I never said that you shouldn’t,” he said, sounding surprised. “It’s a free trip. Take it.”

“June doesn’t think I should go without you. She doesn’t think it’s appropriate.”

“Kristine, you’re a grown woman. You don’t have to do everything your mother says.”

It wasn’t fair for him to say that. Not at all.

“Honey,” Kevin said, his voice wary. “I’m sorry. My phone’s going to die—”

“I’m glad you’re safe.” Kristine’s voice was short. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Heartsick with disappointment, she hung up. It was hard to believe that, after so many years of marriage, it was possible to feel so completely and utterly alone.

There was a sharp rap at the office door. Taking a deep breath, Kristine called, “Come in.” She forced her voice to sound cheerful.

The door scraped against the floor as Ethan stepped into the office. “Everything’s all set.” He paused, studying her. “Are you . . . okay?”

Kristine twisted her hair up into a knot and got to her feet. “Fine. Can I help with anything else?”

“No, no. Everything’s set.” Ethan crossed his arms. “Kristine, do you need to talk?”

Kristine bit back a hysterical laugh. Seriously? A man who actually asked that question? No, she didn’t need to talk, especially not to someone like Ethan. But still . . . it was awfully nice to be asked.

“I’ll be okay.” She nodded. “Thank you. For your help tonight.”

Ethan nodded.

“I should go.” Kristine’s tone was abrupt. Quickly, she scanned her desk. She liked to start each day with a clean surface, everything neat and in order. There was a coffee ring on the wood and licking her finger, she quickly rubbed it off.

“There’s some leftover wine from tonight,” Ethan said slowly. “Let’s have a glass. Talk Rome.”

Kristine’s hand hesitated, resting on the surface of the desk. She couldn’t do that, could she? Not twice in one week. Not with a man who wasn’t her husband.

At her hesitation, he added, “We can order some food from that Japanese place down the block. Have sushi? You look like you have some things on your mind.”

Kristine was torn. The last thing she felt like doing was going home, where the only thing waiting for her was a book on Roman history. Besides, the conversation she’d shared with Ethan on Sunday had been so interesting. What would it hurt to spend just a little bit more time with him? They’d talk about Rome, make some plans . . . It would be perfectly innocent.

Kristine’s eyes flicked up to Ethan’s. He was watching her closely, as if her decision actually meant something to him. Kevin hadn’t looked at her like that in years.

Don’t do it, the voice in her head practically screamed. Why would you do this?

What was the big deal? They were about to travel across the world together. She may as well get to know him now so there were no surprises then. There was no point in making it so hard, but something held her back.

“It’s been a long day,” she said. “I really should get home.”