Levitating Las Vegas

6




“Do you feel okay, kiddo?” Holly’s dad asked her. “You missed a cue or two. You never miss a cue.”

Holly shrank back against the velvet couch that had seen the rise and fall of more than one Vegas showbiz career. She’d spent so much time in this dressing room that the couch seemed like her second home—until her dad questioned her about the night’s performance. She didn’t want to get Elijah in trouble.

Before she could think of an excuse for zoning out during the act, her mom swept in from behind a battered Japanese screen in her billowing silk dressing gown. “Elijah Brown,” she said.

“What?” Holly and her dad both exclaimed.

“Elijah Brown was in the audience,” her mom told her dad, “shining a mirror in Holly’s eyes to distract her.” She turned to Holly. “I can see out of that box, you know.”

Looming closer over Holly on the couch, her dad flexed his fingers and said through his teeth, “I’ll kill that little shit.”

“Dad!” Holly protested.

“Peter.” Holly’s mom rebuffed him without taking her eyes off Holly. Sliding onto the couch, she squeezed Holly’s shoulders. “We told you a long time ago to stay away from that boy, for your own good. His mother is a dealer. My God. I’ve seen him hanging around the casino, doing menial labor.”

“It’s called carpentry, Mom.” Holly was leery of defending him when she was trying to stay on her parents’ good side. But their distaste for him made zero sense. After they’d gotten so upset when he’d asked her to the ninth-grade prom, she’d expected them to turn snobby about her other friends too, but they hadn’t. Their snobbery was reserved for Elijah only. And she couldn’t stand to hear them talk about him like that. “He just graduated from UNLV like m—”

“What if you made a mistake one night and got stuck with him?” her mom wailed, as if Holly had just revealed a grand plan to seduce Elijah and bear his children. “You have to look out for yourself better than that. Your father and I won’t be around to take care of you forever. What was wrong with that nice policeman you went out with?”

Holly straightened on the couch, pulling her shoulders away from her mom’s hands. She half understood her mom’s antifeminist perspective. Rob was gainfully employed in a hunky man-job. And Holly had a mental disease that required ongoing treatment. Behind her mom’s words lurked the specter of Holly in middle age, off her meds, unkempt and ugly, stumbling down the Strip in a ripped spangled bikini, skipping her appointment for a manicure. Only a strong man would stand by her when times got bad.

Rob was not that man. Holly flared her nostrils in distaste as she explained, “Mom. Rob and I went on one date. We won’t be going on another. I don’t think he’s stable.” That morning he’d skulked outside her apartment in his sheriff’s deputy car until Kaylee made a point of taking her pistol out on the porch to polish it in plain sight. Then he’d cruised out of the parking lot and down the palm-lined street.

“He can’t be any less stable than Elijah Brown,” her mom muttered.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Holly asked. “Elijah’s not unstable.”

Her parents exchanged a look over her head. Holly’s mom took her hand. “Sweetie. We didn’t tell you this all those years ago when he asked you out, because Elijah’s mom doesn’t want it spread around about him any more than we want it spread around about you. But Elijah has MAD.”

“Oh.” Too late Holly realized her oh should have sounded shocked, as if she’d discovered a corpse, rather than sympathetic with a lilt on the end, as if she’d found an adorable, wriggling puppy. Elijah and she had the same mental disease!

In what universe was this good news?

Her mom was still talking. “You remember how crazy you felt before you got on Mentafixol?” She raised her eyebrows and nodded, willing Holly to nod along. “Maybe Elijah’s having an exacerbation. You see now why we didn’t want you getting involved with him?”

“You mean you made me break my date to the prom with him just because he had the same condition I have?” Holly croaked in disbelief. “You’re supposed to bring together people with the same disease, Mom, not keep them apart. We could have supported each other.”

“And his mother is a dealer.” Holly’s mom examined her biggest diamond.

Holly shook with fury. All those years of feeling like she was utterly alone with her illness, and her parents had prevented her from seeing the one person she knew who had it too—Elijah, so sweet and funny, even back then. Her life would have been very different if they’d had each other to lean on.

She was on the verge of telling her parents to butt out of her business, once and for all. She was twenty-one, almost twenty-two, and no longer lived under their roof. They had no right to tell her what to do anymore. They’d done it for years. This was the last straw.

There was only the pesky point of sucking up to them so she could ease into the illusionist business herself.

Breathing through her nose and talking herself down, she convinced herself that standing up for her right to date Elijah wasn’t worth the trouble. Not yet. She didn’t even know what he wanted from her. He’d signed G-L-I-T-T-E-R-A-T-I to her during the show, not M-A-R-R-Y M-E.

Holly’s dad paced in front of them, waving his fists in the air. “How long are you going to sugarcoat it for her, Lanie? That kid has an exacerbation, as you call it, and the first thing he does is come looking for Holly?”

“He was in the audience,” Holly murmured. “He didn’t do anything.”

Now he pointed at Holly. “Don’t go out with him. You hear me? Don’t go anywhere near him, and don’t let him get you alone.”

“Don’t let anybody strange get you alone, either,” her mom said. “If strangers try to talk to you, tell us.”

This odd directive struck Holly as something a parent would say to a five-year-old: Don’t get into a stranger’s car when he offers you candy.

“We’ll take you to your apartment in the limo,” her dad informed her, “in case that kid’s hanging around.”

“He’s not hanging around.” Holly yawned to show her dad how little she cared about Elijah Brown. “And you’re not taking me to my apartment.” No way was Holly giving up a crumb of the freedom she’d finally gleaned from her parents, just because Elijah was having an episode.

“We’ll sit with you at the bus stop, then,” her mom called.

“I’m going out with Kaylee. She’ll pop down from her office and drive us.” Holly wasn’t supposed to drive while taking Mentafixol. Actually she’d never learned to drive, since she would probably take Mentafixol for the rest of her life.

“Oh, sweetie,” her mom said. “I don’t like the idea of you going out so late, especially without Rob.”

Holly hoped she was going without Rob. She was so exasperated, she almost told her parents that Rob, alleged dreamboat, was rapidly morphing into a stalker. But then they really wouldn’t let her use mass transit by herself. “Mom, the act lasts until 10 p.m. almost every night of the week. When else can I go out? And how can you worry about my safety when I’m with the head of security for the casino?”

This shut both her parents up. She’d always been surprised there hadn’t been more commentary from them about how Kaylee shouldn’t be the head of casino security as a twenty-two-year-old wisp of a girl. Sometimes Holly heard other employees at the casino make comments like this, but her parents never had.

With a few more sighs from Holly’s mom and a very pointed threatening look from Holly’s dad, the two of them donned matching white fur capes (on an eighty-degree June night in Vegas = style) and breezed out of the dressing room, headed for the casino limo that would drive them to their gated mansion on the outskirts of town.

The second they left, Holly stretched her arms over her head—ahhhh, free of them—and fished a single Hershey’s Kiss from a secret compartment in her purse. Mmmmm.

Then she searched through the hangers on the wardrobe rack for something to change into for Glitterati. She chose a pair of jeans to wear with her sequined show shoes, her show bikini top, and a midriff-baring sweater.

She stood back and looked at herself objectively. Her eyes scanned her hair and makeup, down her body, and stopped below her belly button, hovering at the fly of her jeans. She turned to the side to make sure that long expanse of exposed tummy was perfectly flat, despite her mouthful of chocolate. She wondered if she looked as good to Elijah as she had seven years ago. His fingers, roughened from carpentry work, would find softness as they explored downward, fumbling below her navel to ease her jeans open. . . .

Because that was what he wanted from her, right? Some sort of mutual MAD hookup? They must have subconsciously sensed each other’s mental illness at his house last night. Otherwise their attraction was too much of a coincidence. He was having an exacerbation, his inhibitions were down, and he made a beeline for Holly, just as her dad had suggested.

With her fingertip she touched a little line between her brows, her first wrinkle, smoothing it away. Only a crazy girl would choose an insane carpenter over a cop, especially when going out with the insane carpenter would anger her parents, who held her career in their hands. But if that’s what Elijah really wanted from her, that’s what he would get.



At five before midnight, Holly and Kaylee hugged the petite Marilyn Monroe impersonator carding at the door, whom they knew because s/he also performed in the Peacock Room at the casino. Inside Glitterati they squeezed past the girls and transvestites writhing on the dance floor and found a table.

They sat close enough to hear each other over the throbbing beat. Holly hoped Kaylee might have a good time tonight, despite herself. She certainly looked the part of a fun-loving chick gone clubbing. Her wide blue eyes and platinum-blond hair made her appear younger than twenty-two, but her ample cleavage in a gold lamé top canceled that out. Holly often had to remind herself that her roommate kept a pistol in her cute sequined handbag.

Kaylee nodded past Holly’s shoulder. “There’s your Elijah Brown.”

“He’s not my Elijah Brown.” Holly felt herself blush. She was glad the nightclub was dark except for the pink strobes. On the drive over, Holly had tried to explain why she was meeting Elijah here. She hadn’t implied Elijah was hers, because he wasn’t—but now Kaylee’s words heated Holly’s cheeks with guilty pleasure. She looked where Kaylee was looking.

Although dancers filled the floor, the tables were empty save for a few frightened-looking women, obviously tourists. Holly had a clear view all the way across the room to Elijah. She marveled at the difference seven years had made. She remembered him being so hot in ninth grade, and so tall. As a college grad, he was still tall and lean, but his face was rugged with stubble, his wavy hair darker and wilder, his green eyes narrower. Now that she’d found out he had MAD, he looked to her like a dark and dangerous man—

—and then he leaned across the table toward Shane and laughed at something Shane had said. He looked like ninth grade when he laughed, she thought wistfully.

He and Shane had what appeared to be beer bottles in front of them. This surprised her again—not on Shane’s account, but on Elijah’s. Mentafixol and alcohol did not mix. The warning label said so, just as it said patients on Mentafixol should not drive or operate heavy machinery.

At first Holly hadn’t believed the label. She didn’t feel sleepier than normal on the drug. There was only a notable lack of hallucinations that she could make the furniture move. So she’d tried a few sips of beer once in tenth grade because all her friends were doing it. She’d blacked out, woken up the next morning under her friend’s bed, and felt groggy that whole day. Though it looked like a beer from this distance, Elijah’s drink must be a nonalcoholic beer or something else entirely.

Watching the guys sip from their bottles, she had an idea. “Kaylee, do you know Shane Sligh? I mean, you know all the casino employees, and I’m sure you have his Social Security number in your laptop, but do you know him? He plays guitar in that Frank Sinatra band in the Peacock Room. He’s Elijah’s other roommate. Come with me and I’ll introduce you. Wait—Kaylee, don’t look, but Shane’s staring at you hard. Oooh, he’s so handsome, too, in a retro way. Maybe he’ll take you for a hamburger and a Coke float at the malt shop.” She laughed at her own joke.

“I don’t think so,” Kaylee said.

“Or you could cheer him on when he races his car down at the aqueduct,” Holly giggled. “He is, he’s totally staring at you. Here he comes.”

Still focused on Kaylee, Shane rose from his seat.

Kaylee watched Holly from beneath her white-blond bangs. “No, he doesn’t.”

Shane sat back down.

Rising herself, Kaylee grumbled, “I need a drink to brave this place. I’m ordering a cocktail and making a phone call. You go over there and talk to Elijah. Can I get you a diet soda?”

“A diet soda would be great.” Holly wished Kaylee would go with her to greet Elijah. But she was a big girl and didn’t need her friend for support when she talked to a cute guy. Besides, Kaylee probably had superspy stuff to attend to over the phone.

And when Holly looked back at Elijah again, she had to admit that she wasn’t sorry to lose Kaylee for the moment. She’d had the idea that Kaylee might be interested in Shane, who really was adorable if you were into midcentury kitsch. But Kaylee might be interested in Elijah instead. Holly had no claim on him. Holly didn’t think Kaylee would make a move on Elijah when she knew Holly was attracted to him—Kaylee wasn’t like that—but stranger things had happened.

Plus, Kaylee was a striking platinum blonde.

Holly suddenly hoped Kaylee took a long time deciding what she wanted from the bar.

When Holly looked toward Elijah again, he was draining his beer. She squinted through the undulating darkness but still couldn’t make out the label on the bottle at that distance.

Then Elijah said something to Shane, but he watched her. He cut his eyes and motioned with his head toward the back of the club, indicating he wanted to meet her there.

She jumped up, nearly knocking over her chair, way too eager for a girl playing it cool. She slipped off her cardigan and pulled at her top to make sure her cleavage showed, smoothed her curls behind her shoulders, and dove in. Her showgirl friends ground their hips against hers as she swam across the dance floor. Finally she crawled up the opposite bank, freeing herself from the grip of a trapeze artist who worked at the casino next door to Holly’s. And there was Elijah, standing beside the last table, waiting for her.

Seeing him alone in the dark, surrounded by flashing lights—walking close enough to him to have a conversation with him over the booming bass line—she could have sworn she warmed ten degrees. The heat shot up her arms and spread across her chest as she smiled at him. “Hey, stranger! What’s with all the secre—”

“Do you have some Mentafixol left?” he bit out.

Holly took a step backward in surprise, looking around to make sure no one had overheard—which would have been impossible, with a stack of speakers nearby. She couldn’t hear him clearly over the physical pulse of the bass, but for a split second she thought he’d mentioned Mentafixol. Nobody was supposed to know about MAD. Yes, she knew about his MAD, but her parents had just spilled that to her a few hours ago. It hadn’t occurred to her that he might know about hers.

“What did you say?” she exclaimed.

“Do you have any Mentafixol left? I take it too, but this time when I went to the health center at the casino to get my prescription refilled, the pharmacy was out.”

At least, this is what Holly thought Elijah had said. But the pharmacy could not be out of Mentafixol. The pharmacy was never out. Her sanity, her whole life depended on it. “Did you say the pharmacy is out?”

“Yes.” This was the first thing he’d said that Holly understood completely. And now that she examined him up close, she realized he might really be having that exacerbation her parents had warned her about. He looked feverish. His tight black T-shirt stuck to his pecs with sweat, and his wavy hairline shone. The pharmacy was definitely out.

“But how did you know I take Mentafixol?” she asked. Had everyone in high school and college known about this all along? Did everyone at the casino know? She would die.

He said something that Holly didn’t catch.

“What?” she asked, feeling foolish for not being able to hear him at all, and wondering why he seemed to hear her perfectly without watching her lips.

“I just knew,” he shouted. “The pharmacy said they should get a new shipment soon. They’ve been saying that for two days. In the meantime, I’ve come down off the drug, and you know what that’s like.”

“No, I don’t.” Holly shuddered. She was very careful to take her pill every night so she would never experience those symptoms again. Even if she hadn’t been careful herself, her parents had been hawkish about her medicine while she lived with them. Now Kaylee reminded her to take it. God willing, that pill would stave off the symptoms of her disease for the rest of her life.

“I’m asking you for a pill,” he said, “just one pill, to tide me over until the pharmacy gets a shipment in a few days. Then you’ll have some more and I’ll have some more, and we can go back to pretending everything’s fine.”

This talk of the pharmacy running out of Mentafixol scared the hell out of Holly. She had three days’ worth of pills left in the prescription bottle in her purse. She took the pills with her everywhere so she’d always have one available. If she gave one to Elijah, she’d have two days’ worth left. What if the health center still hadn’t received a shipment on day three? What if the day she’d given away to Elijah was the very day her MAD caused her to be committed, or—worse—made her hurt another person?

Then again, what if she didn’t give Elijah a pill, and he got committed or hurt another person tomorrow? She would never forgive herself. And if their positions were switched, she hoped Elijah would give her one of his pills.

“I would,” he said.

She blinked at him in the flashing pink darkness. “What? You would what?”

“Do it for you.”

Holly’s heart raced as the thought struck her that Elijah could read her mind.

It was all this talk of going crazy. She was paranoid about being crazy, but she wasn’t crazy, not as long as she took her Mentafixol. She talked herself down this way, breathing light and fast, looking into Elijah’s green eyes.

Then she glanced around stealthily again. Someone might mistake a pill passed between them as a drug buy. Or someone might discover she was insane. Satisfied that no one was watching them, she reached into her purse, shook a shiny gold pill out of her prescription bottle, and held it out to Elijah in her palm.

He took it carefully with his thumb and forefinger, pinching her skin ever so gently, a pleasant tickle that shot across her hand and up her arm.

Then he looked at her and opened his mouth to thank her, she supposed. But something happened as she watched him.

He paused, lips parted.

Against her will, her gaze flitted to his lips. He was so hot, but now was not the time to get involved with him, when they were both struggling to enter the adult world with a disabling mental disease.

However, back in ninth grade, what would it have hurt for her parents to allow them to go to the prom together? She could have spent the night laughing with Elijah and stealing kisses from him. She pictured what it would be like to kiss him now.

Still holding the pill in his fingers, he reached up to his mouth. She thought he would swallow the pill dry. But when he paused, she realized he was only touching the pill to his bottom lip.

His pupils expanded almost to the rims of his green irises. Wide. Wanting.

Electricity rushed through her. She didn’t dare breathe.

Then his other warm hand slipped around her neck. He pulled her close and kissed her deeply, sweeping his soft tongue inside her mouth.

A shove tore her away from Elijah and sent her reeling into the table and chairs behind her. The edge of a tabletop slashed across her back, but years of maneuvering in high heels enabled her to spin toward her aggressor.

Rob.