I walked to the ladies’ room, leaving the Reid siblings to talk. Jake and Jane had given me a true taste of family, something that disappeared too early in my life. It was altogether sweet, sour, salty, and a bit bitter at times, but most of all, it had the wonderful flavor of love. This is what I’d missed out on being an only child with parents up in heaven. I was glad to have witnessed a small part of their family.
On my way back, seeing that the Reid siblings hadn’t finished their conversation, my pace slowed, allowing Jake to finish. What I’d overheard added another cup to my already overflowing feelings for him.
“And…I love her strength. I’ve never met any girl who is such a survivor. She’s pretty much been alone since high school, put herself through college, and then bought and created a home all by herself. She’s worked for everything she has. Nothing has been handed to her. Yet she smiles and enjoys life. Her attitude is amazing. But, as strong as she appears, she’s terribly tenderhearted. I think this is what makes me so enamored with her. She hurts easily, cries readily, but loves deeply. She makes me want to care for her and shelter her from anything that may harm her. I’ve never felt such a strong desire to protect someone as I do for Emily.”
As I walked back to my seat, happiness swelled in my heart till it felt like a balloon about to burst. Jake had summed up Emily Logan better than I could have. As happy as I was, there was this nagging insecurity. Could such a perfect man exist in my world? I feared answering this question.
We got back to the apartment around midnight and Jane excused herself to answer a phone call. Here it was, the conversation I dreaded.
“So…” Jake started very casually, “where will you be sleeping tonight?”
I cringed at the thought of having to explain myself to him. I waited for him to finish before going into my tedious explanation.
“Door number one is my room, door number two is Jane’s room, or you can sleep alone behind door number three.” He pointed to each room with a hopeful and expectant look.
There was an awkward silence.
“Jake…I need to tell you something.” I dragged his name a bit but quickly let out the next group of words.
“Uh-oh, did I say something wrong?”
“No, I guess it’s time to confess since we’re at this juncture. Maybe I should have told you before accepting your ring. You might have had second thoughts about wanting me as your girlfriend.”
Jake looked mildly horrified. “You’re making me nervous; what’s wrong?”
This conversation wasn’t nearly as difficult to have the first time with Max at age eighteen but now, I sounded so archaic telling my thirty-year-old boyfriend that I wanted to stay a virgin.
“Nothing is wrong. I should have told you this earlier. I want you to know that I’ve never, um…” There was no reason to be, but I was embarrassed.
“Well…I’ve never slept with a man before. You are literally the first man I fell asleep with earlier today, though nothing happened. I’m not planning on being with you or any man till I get married.” Incredibly nervous, I found my hands tightly clutching my borrowed robe unable to look at Jake till I finished confessing.
Relief, confusion, happiness, and chagrin all flashed across Jake’s face and in that order. “You mean you and Max have never…?”
“No, we’ve never been together in that sense.”
“But how? You dated for four years.”
“It was hard but I really wanted to save myself for whomever I might end up marrying. My mom was old fashioned, and she wanted me to wait till I got married. This was a promise I made to her before she died, and I’d like to honor her wishes. Also, watching my parents love each other, I thought it would be most special with the man I’d spend the rest of my life with.”
“What if that man isn’t as pure as you are?” He looked worried again.
I chuckled, realizing he obviously didn’t believe what I believed. “That’s all right. It would be most perfect if we were each other’s first, but I can’t expect everyone to have the same beliefs. Are you OK with my confession? I’m sorry I didn’t bring it up earlier. I didn’t quite know how to approach this subject. Are you upset?” My head fell back down worried what Jake might think.
“Disappointed, yes; upset, no. I guess this happily speeds up our timetable.” Oddly, amusement mirrored his disappointment.
“What does that mean?”
“Oh, that’s for me to know and for you to soon find out.”
I could hear a quiet sigh as he held me in his arms till Jane walked back into the living room. He gently kissed my lips and I followed Jane to her room.
“Emily,” Jane carefully called my name. “You don’t have to sleep in my room on my account. You can be with Jake if you like.”
“Jane, I want to be here with you if you’re OK with it.”
“I’d love it but is Jake OK with this?”
“I didn’t give him a choice.” I giggled. After all was said and done, Jake accepted my revelation without much of a fight. Maybe the physical part of our relationship wouldn’t be too much of a struggle—or maybe this was wishful thinking.
“Where shall I sleep?” Jane’s room had two twin bunks, reminding me of the summer camp I’d visited back in sixth grade.