Chapter 19 Texas Revisited
Before we got to the gravesite, we picked up some yellow Gerbera daisies and I prepared my heart to see Mom and Dad again. Coming here always brought joy and sorrow. When I stood before my parents’ graves, I could feel their warmth around me. This warmth surrounded me and loved me almost as acutely as if they were standing right next to me. But, after the initial joy, I was all too aware that my parents were not with me anymore, and nothing I did or felt would bring them back. I wondered what it would be like seeing them with Jake—my comfort, my future husband.
“You are in such deep thought. What are you musing over?” We were almost where my parents lay.
“Even with you by my side, I was wondering whether I would still be sad when I saw them.”
“Why would you be sad?” Not having lost a parent, this was a part of me Jake could never fully understand.
“I’m usually elated to be with them, but sometime during the visit, I get sad knowing I have to leave them here. They can never go back with me. I can’t ever bring them back to life.”
A compassionate expression and a loving embrace was his answer to my pain.
“Jake,” I turned to him as we stood before my parents, “these are my parents. Mom. Dad. I want to introduce you to Jake. This is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
Jake started talking to Mom and Dad, and it looked like he was going to tell them about our entire courtship.
“Hello Mr. and Mrs. Logan. My name is Jake Reid and I am late, but here to ask you for Emily’s hand in marriage. I’m sorry I didn’t come earlier to ask for your permission. I should have been here back on New Year’s Day with Emily but I was a fool. I’ve hurt Emily a lot since Christmas, but I promise you I will love your daughter as much as you love her if you’ll allow me to marry her. I’ll take care of her and protect her from any harm. I’ll make sure to love her so fully and completely that when she comes to see you in the future, she won’t leave sad, missing your love. Thank you for bringing her up so beautifully. Emily has an incredible warmth and sincerity I’m sure she learned from both of you.”
Momma. Daddy. Isn’t he wonderful? Thank you for helping me get Jake back in my life, and I’m sorry I was so mean to you the last time I was here. You don’t know how much I regretted my words. I know you both only want the best for me, and I know it hurts you to see me alone. What do you think of Jake? Isn’t he handsome, Momma? I wish you could both be here and experience this joy with me. Oh, Daddy…who will walk me down the aisle?
Jake stopped talking to my parents as soon as he heard me cry.
“What’s the matter, Emi?” He hugged me. “I really should carry a pack of tissues around with me. You cry way too easily.” He lightly chuckled and kissed my forehead.
“I was just asking my dad who will walk me down the aisle.” How ironic that I would feel so sad about walking down the aisle—a walk that would begin my forever with Jake.
“You know my dad would love to walk you down. You can also walk down on your own, and that would make a beautiful statement of how strong you have been, coming this far on your own. We have a few weeks. Let’s think about it. You interrupted my conversation with your parents. I finished telling them how we met and I was getting to our botched weekend in Bacara.”
He turned to talk to them some more. I heard him talking but went into my own thoughts.
“So, Mom, I was wondering when Emily developed such a foodie taste bud? Has she always liked food this much? I sent her to Le Bernardin when she was in New York, and you wouldn’t believe the texts I got from her. She sent me a whole blog of every item she ate.”
Do you like him, Momma? After I left you here, I went to Japan and spent four months teaching. Alone but grateful to experience another culture, I traveled throughout the country. Can you believe I did this by myself? I also ate some delicious food. Oh, I didn’t tell you. Sarah and Charlie finally got married a few weeks ago. They are in a state of bliss.
“After many months of searching for her,” I heard Jake ramble, “I finally got help from Max—yes, Max—and found your daughter hidden away in Japan. She was, of course, at a restaurant ready to eat another ten-plus course meal. I honestly don’t know where she hides all those calories. I know the beauty comes from Mom, but where does that metabolism come from?”
I laughed to myself. Jake was sitting right in between both of my parents’ graves explaining our entire seventh-month dating / broken-up days.