Honor Thy Thug

16




TASHA

Trae came back from his so-called meeting with Charli wearing his poker face—and it was driving me insane. I hadn’t heard from Jameer, so I didn’t know if I should panic or not.

Trae was standing on the front porch, waiting for his ride. I was standing inside the doorway, watching him. I didn’t know where he was going, and according to his body language, I shouldn’t even think about asking.

“Do you mind me inquiring as to how long you are going to be away?”

“Not sure, but you know I’ma call you. So no need to even trip, Tasha.” His back was still turned away from me.

“I’m not tripping. I’m just wondering how long you plan on being away.” I opened the screen door. “For real, it’s no sense in going, because your side bitch is done. So I’m trying to understand why you have to go.” F*ck. That slipped out, and I hoped like hell that Trae didn’t catch it. But when he turned around and cocked his head to the side, I knew it was on.

“Tasha, what do you mean, she’s done? Who is—f*ck, Tasha! Do not tell me you did what I think you did!” He gritted, turning slowly in my direction.

His mood and his face turned dark. When I saw that, I eased the screen door shut and locked it. He lunged at it and tried to snatch it open.

“Tasha! Open the f*cking door.” He threatened.

“No. Go be by the bitch’s bedside. You think I didn’t know where you were going?” I yelled.

“Open the goddamned door!” He looked as if he was trying to yank it off its hinges.

I walked away. Then I heard a crash and turned around, and Trae’s arm was inside, unlocking the door. My vase that I had made all by myself in pottery class was now broken up in big chunks.

Trae caught up to me, snatched me by the shoulder, and turned me to him. “Tell me you didn’t do what I think you did.” He shook me. “Tell me!”

When I didn’t say anything, he looked as if he wanted to cry, and that’s when I lost it. I hauled back and slapped the shit out of him. “F*ck that bitch!”

He grabbed the front of my shirt, lifted me up, and slammed me into the wall, pressing me and holding me there.

“How many times have I told you it ain’t about her? This was business, Tasha. Money, security, knowledge, business, not p-ssy! You f*cked with the wrong bitch, Tasha. And why? ’Cause you’re scared that she’s gettin’ your dick?”

Marva came bursting through the door. “There’s a limo parked in the driveway. And put that girl down. What’s the matter with y’all? Trae, you better get your hands off of that girl. Now!” Marva warned him.

Trae let me go, and I almost tumbled to the floor.

“If I don’t come back, make sure you tell my sons why. I can’t believe how stupid you allow some bitch to make you act. Now I don’t know what the f*ck I’m walking into. You told me you trusted me, Tasha.”

“I do. It’s her that I didn’t trust!” I screamed as he walked out the front door. “She sends someone to blow up our home, and it’s fine. I sick some dogs on her, and I’m a dumb, jealous, insecure bitch. F*ck you and her, Trae! Y’all deserve each other.” He didn’t even bother to look back.

I thought about what he’d said, the reality of his words sunk to the pit of my stomach. And what if he didn’t come back? I had promised myself that I wasn’t doing any more bids with another nigga. Trae promised me that he was never going back to jail, that he was going to stay clean. The game was over for him. That’s what he said. Now this.


TRAE

Walking to the limo felt more like treading through quicksand. I had my doubts about it being known that someone in my camp was responsible for Charli’s mishap, so at least I had a little time. I put my game face on as I got into the back of the limo and was thankful that I was back there alone. I didn’t know what I was walking into. My instincts were telling me that this trip wasn’t business . . . it was personal.

After about an hour, I knew it was personal when we pulled up in front of Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center. My door came open, and a gentleman I never saw before greeted me.

They know.

“Mr. Macklin, I am Pu Chang. Mr. Li asked me to assist you this evening.”

“Assist me with what?”

“I will be taking you up to visit Miss Charli Li. Come, follow me.”

We went inside, bypassing security, and stepped onto the elevator. As we took the short ride up, I imagined Mr. Li at his daughter’s bedside and also trying to figure out his reasoning for wanting me to see her.

We walked past the nurses’ station, down to the room where one of Li’s henchmen stood. I recognized him from riding with us on the private jet. He nodded at me as I followed Pu Chang into the room.

Flowers were everywhere, on the floor, against the wall, in the window. Hell, I saw the flowers before I saw her. I walked closer to the bed. She had tubes coming out of her mouth and going through her nose, an IV in her left arm, and her right arm, foot and head were bandaged up.

“Is she unconscious?” I asked in a low tone.

“Yes, she is,” Pu Chang answered. “Luckily, they found four inches of Miss Li’s scalp on the ground and gave it to one of the EMS workers. We are hopeful that her scalp can be reattached. She has severe bites on her right hand and arm and on her left leg. There were two dogs, and we are not sure if they had been vaccinated or tested for rabies.” He stood looking down at Charli and then back at me.

I immediately turned and walked out, thinking the worst. Mr. Li was blaming me for what happened to his daughter.

Pu Chang was on my heels. “I will take you back to the car.”

“I can show myself out, but I do need to speak to Mr. Li.”

“There’s a phone in the limo. It’s already being arranged for you to speak to him.”

I left him standing there and decided to take the stairs. Charli was f*cked up, so I could only imagine the magnitude of the repercussions I would have to face. Tasha really had my back up against the wall with this one.

As soon as I got situated in the limo, the phone rang. I picked it up.

“Yes.”

“Mr. Macklin, did you see my daughter?”

“Of course, and I offer my deepest condolences. She had called me and told me that she had new and urgent instructions from you. I called you several times to confirm but was unable to reach you. So I decided on meeting her in a public place, just to be on the safe side. Actually, she was the one who suggested the meeting place,” I found myself explaining once again.

“My instructions to you were under no circumstances to be in my daughter’s presence. If you would have followed those instructions, my daughter would not be lying in some hospital bed fighting for her life. Because of your betrayal of my trust, I can no longer offer you my protection. This concludes our business, Mr. Macklin. And my daughter was right. You would have been a great asset to the Li organization. Kon Li told me all of our people immediately showed respect to you and took you seriously.” He hung up.

And just like that, I was left out there.


TASHA

I had been sitting on the porch for the last two hours. When I saw what looked like a limo coming down the street, I jumped and practically ran off the porch. It didn’t pull up into the driveway but stopped at the entrance. My imagination was running wild. I envisioned a shot-up Trae being tossed out of the vehicle onto the ground. So I was extremely relieved when he stepped out of the car, shut the door, and began to trudge up the walkway. I ran and practically jumped into his arms.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I really messed up this time, didn’t I?”

He didn’t answer me. He pushed me away, and we went up the front steps and sat down. I sat next to him and waited as he called his attorney. I listened in as he told him that he might be picked back up on the murder charges and that Benny needed to be prepared for that. He rubbed across his bald head, while listening intently to whatever it was that Benny was saying.

When he finally hung up, all I could say was, “Baby, I really f*cked up, didn’t I?”

“You have no idea! Your shit was not thought out, and now everything will eventually point at me.”

“You really think you are going to jail?”

“What the f*ck do you think, Tasha? Mr. Li said all of the protection and connections have been revoked.”

“What protection? What connections?”

“Tasha, do you have any idea who you are f*cking with? I had an agreement with these people. Charlie Li is a made man, Tasha. He can wipe out me, you, and our entire family right now.”

“That ain’t right, Trae. It wasn’t your fault. Anybody could have done her.”

“We better hope that he doesn’t find out who did. Tasha, what—” He got up and started pacing back and forth. He was so angry he couldn’t even finish his sentence. “And you didn’t even check with me!”

“Check with you for what? So you could tell me not to do it?”

“F*ck, yeah! And if I was going to approve of it, I would have told you how to do it! Tasha, baby. You ain’t no gangster. What’s gotten into y’all? First Jaz, now you. You have to think things through. Calculate shit. When you don’t, serious shit like this happens. Now, look. If he somehow finds out that you are responsible for this, you best believe some serious harm is going to come to this family.” He let out a deep sigh. “The dogs? Whose are they?”

“That dude who came over on fight night with Trina.” I saw the gleam in his eyes and the light bulbs go off. “No, Trae. Oh, my god.”

“What the f*ck you mean, no, Trae? Nine times out of ten, they are going to trace the dogs to him. And what do you think he’s going to do when put under pressure? He’s going to rat your ass out. This was so sloppy, Tasha. Damn!”

I thought about what Trae said. What if they did find out Jameer sent the dogs? They would kill him. I didn’t even know if Jameer had a family. Kids? A wife? What if Trina was with him? They would probably kill her, too.

Because of my insecurities, I had just signed Jameer’s death certificate as well. And that bitch was still laying up there breathing.