chapter Five
I took Angela back to my place and told her I had a migraine. She offered to stay and take care of me but I assured her I would sleep it off. After she had left, I checked the time. The movie would just be ending now. I poured a drink. I couldn’t get her off my mind. I was starting to scare myself. She reminded me of who I used to be. Back before Abby had destroyed everything that I was. Abby was my math teacher in high school. She was the picture of perfection. She made me care about myself, my future. I fell for her quickly. I knew how easy it was for someone vulnerable to fall for someone in a position of power over them. I needed to be careful not to do that to Emma. Look what it got me. I lost the one person I had loved to greed. My father paid her to break my heart and she took the bait. The saddest thing was our unborn child who was lost in the process. I poured another drink and slammed it back.
I was too damaged to ever be anything to anybody else. I barely knew Emma but she had awakened feelings in me I hadn’t known I was still capable of having. I couldn’t ever be that person again. I wanted to be that person again. I grabbed my phone and scrolled through the contacts. I hit the call button and waited for an answer.
“William, what are you doing? You can’t call me this late.” Angela’s hushed panicked tone brought me back to reality. She wasn’t concerned about how I was feeling. She didn’t get butterflies at the sound of my voice. I was nothing to her. The feeling was mutual. I hung up the phone and tossed it on the couch. I needed to get out of this f*cking place.
I grabbed my keys and some cash and made my way downstairs to my car. I needed to regain control of myself. I needed to be reminded of what I was. I drove across town to the edge of the city. In a seedy strip mall that had long been forgotten to most, a few cars dotted the parking lot. I whipped behind the building and parked my car. As I walked across the dark lot, I hit the lock on my car and walked inside. The main lobby was dimly lit and three woman sat on their heels, heads bowed in a row by the front desk.
“Mr. Honor. What a pleasure to see you, Sir.” The husky redhead behind the desk greeted me. I nodded politely as my eyes danced over the kneeling women.
“The usual Sir?” She asked and my eyes shot up to meet hers. I nodded and made my way back the dimly lit corridor. I was in my element. I felt whole again inside these walls. I stopped in front of door three. A bulb glowed red just above the frame. I took a deep breath and stepped inside. I quickly unbuttoned my shirt and slid it off, draping it over a bench it the corner, followed by my under shirt. I slipped off my shoes and socks and slid them under the bench as well. I was ready. The door opened a few minutes later and a small framed brunette slipped inside. I immediately dropped to my knees; resting on my heels.
“Good boy.” She praised me. I took a deep breath and relaxed. My life thrived on having control and when I felt lost I handed that control over to someone else. It was therapeutic.
She walked around me, her finger running along my shoulders. She traced the lines of the tribal tattoo that wound its way down my arm. “You know what makes a good master, William?” She asked as she made her way to the front of me. I didn’t answer, didn’t look up at her. “You may respond.” I took a deep breath and thought about her question.
“I don’t think I know anymore.” I replied honestly. She bent over and grabbed my chin in her hand, jerking it up towards her.
“Respect” She said simply and let go of my face. She walked over to the shackles that hung from the corner of the room. “Come” She said. I rose to my feet and stared at the floor as I made my way to her. She grabbed my left arm and locked it into place above my head. “You respect me as your Mistress and give me control over you.” She grabbed my other arm and raised it above my head. “I respect you and would never do anything to you that you don’t want.” She continued as she clicked the cuff into place. “Not everyone will understand this lifestyle, William and not everyone is cut out for it.” She explained as she undid the buckle of my belt and slowly pulled it towards her. She leaned in closer so I could feel her breath on my ear. “You are.”
For the next hour, she taunted and teased me until I remembered what it was like to have full control even when I was powerless at the hands of another. Our sessions never went any further than that. She would push me to the brink of pleasure without ever letting me fall over the edge. I felt renewed and as if I had a better grasp on whom I was again. Seeing things from a sub’s perspective made me a better dom.