chapter Four
I made my way home through the crowd of traffic as ‘Something I Can Never Have’ echoed through the speakers of my car. Once again, I felt alone. Any happiness I had felt the past few days was gone. Emma would never look at me in any way other than a teacher after tonight.
I made my way upstairs and quickly poured a drink. I drank it down and repeated the ritual a few more times before grabbing my phone and calling Angela.
“I knew you couldn’t resist me.” She purred. My stomach turned. I really needed to make time next week to find myself a sub but for tonight Angela would do for what I needed.
“Want to go out?” She didn’t respond immediately and I contemplated hanging up.
“Yes!” She practically shouted and I realized that taking her out for something other than a public f*ck was leading her on even more. I didn’t care.
“Great. Be here in a few hours. Movie starts at eight.”
“Want me to come by early? Maybe have a little fun first?” She asked. I thought about it. I had no reason not to continue to sleep with Angela, especially since I was planning to make Emma never want to look my way again.
“I can’t. I have some things to take care of first.” I lied. I ended the call and poured myself another drink. ‘My dreams aren’t as empty as my conscience seems to be’. The lyric played over and over in my head, taunting me. I needed to remind myself why I didn’t want to fall for Emma. Aside from protecting her from me, I needed to protect myself. I made my way into my room and pulled open my dresser drawer. Tucked away between the clothes was a picture of my ex-wife, Abby. She once was the most beautiful woman in the world to me, but now all I felt was hatred when I looked at her. She had chosen money over me, over our family. My eyes began to blur at the sudden memories that flooded my head. Never again. I slid the picture back into the drawer and got ready for the night.
After a quick shower, I drank a few more shots. I took the elevator up to the next floor to remind myself of who I was. The room was dark and uninviting, a playground for a dom. Perhaps I would bring Angela up here. Who knows, maybe she wouldn’t be that opposed to it and if she was, who cares? She was a dime a dozen.
I heard the doorbell echo throughout the building. I made my way back to my main floor and answered the door. Angela was beaming. I grabbed my wallet and ushered her outside before she could try to squeeze in a quickie.
“What are we going to see?” She asked as she placed her hand on my thigh. I glanced down at her hand and over to her. She drew back her arm quickly. I needed to calm down. Why was I wound so tight? Maybe a quickie wouldn’t have been such a bad idea.
“Slash” I said, avoiding her gaze.
“Well, you may have to hold me tight if I get scared.” I could hear the hopefulness in her voice. Maybe this was a bad idea.
We pulled into the theater a good ten minutes before the previews. I paid for our tickets and we made our way inside. The theater was still empty so I chose a spot in the back row so I could watch as everyone filed in. Just before the lights dimmed, I spotted Emma. She was wearing a tight black dress and f*ck me heels. Her hair was curled and all I could think about was wrapping my fingers in it. The lights dimmed and the previews began to play. Angela snuggled in closer to me and I didn’t pull away. It was nice to have the contact, even if I wished it was with someone else.
The movie wasn’t as terrible as I had thought it would be. After a while, I was sucked in to the plot, anxious to see what would happen next. I noticed some commotion up front as Emma stood and tried to make her way through the crowd. It was now or never. I grabbed Angela and slipped out of the back exit into the hall. I pulled her up against the wall and began kissing her. She didn’t protest. I teased my way down her neck as she smacked me playfully on the chest. As my lips met hers, I opened my eyes to glance past her and my gaze immediately fell on Emma. She bit her lip and for a moment, I wished I wouldn’t have come. I wanted so badly for my lips to be on hers. She looked hurt and I knew without a doubt that she had felt what I had. She disappeared into the restroom and I used the time to get myself out of there. She had seen enough to know I wasn’t worth her time.