Honor Student

chapter Six

“Emma! Dear god! Emma! Call the police!” My Aunt screamed as she shook me. I blinked several times but could not open my eyes fully in the light. The shaking had turned my stomach and I lurched forward, vomiting all over the living room floor.

“Emma! Why would you try to kill yourself?” She shouted through tears as a man in the background talked in a panic on the phone.

“I didn’t…” I whispered but my throat was raw and sore from crying the night before.

“Hush now.” She replied, soothingly as she pulled me into her chest and hugged me tightly. “Grab her some water!” she yelled off to the man in the other room. He quickly appeared with a glass of water. He held the glass up to my mouth and began pouring it down my throat. I coughed and gagged as my Aunt smacked the man hard on the arm. “You’re going to drown her!” she shouted.

“I’m sorry!” he yelled back with irritation but I could tell that he was full of panic.

“I’m fine.” I assured them. “This isn’t what it looks like.” I said with a nervous laugh. My head was finally starting to clear and as I glanced around at the mess I had left, I understood why they were so upset. I bottle of vodka lay open on its side, its contents spilled on the floor. A picture of my deceased mother lay broken around me and I was covered in my own blood. “I was just sad.” I explained as my eyes landed on the crumpled picture of my mother. Tears welled up in my eyes and I swallowed hard, trying to hold them back.

“Here” my Aunt said as she pushed the water back to my mouth. A loud banging came from the front door and my Aunt’s companion hurried to answer it.

“I’m okay, really.” I said after swallowing a sip of water. I pushed to my feet to stand and nearly lost my balance. My Aunt jumped up beside me and grabbed my arm. Two police officers rounded the corner into the living room followed by a three medics.

“What happened?” the tall huskier officer asked but he was looking at my Aunt.

“I don’t know. I found her lying on the floor with her Mother’s picture.” She explained but her words became muffled under her sobbing. “She tried to kill herself!” she sputtered as the medics surrounded me and began checking my vitals and the wound on my hand.

“No! No! I didn’t try to kill myself!” I shouted over their conversation but no one paid any attention to my protests. My tears gave way as I began to panic. “Please! I just want to go home!” I sobbed. The older female medic looked at me sadly. I hated that look. The look of pity I received from everyone after my parents had died. Anger bubbled up inside of me and I began to fight against them. One medic was holding my injured hand and another was taking my blood pressure from the other arm. I felt claustrophobic, struggling desperately to free myself from their hold. The police officer who was talking with my Aunt took notice and began to shout at me to calm down. His partner, a younger female put her hand on her weapon as her eyes darted back and forth between us. The third medic had disappeared and returned quickly with a gurney. The harder I fought the tighter they held me. Within seconds, I was lying on my back strapped to the device. My Aunt’s cries faded into the background as the wheeled me down the hall and out of the front door. The sunlight was blinding and the surge of heat made my stomach turn. The medics slid me into the back of their ambulance and closed the door behind us. The sudden darkness made it impossible for me to see and carsickness took over where the warmth had left off. “Please…” I cried as the older nurse wiped my hair from my forehead.

I took long calming breathes and finally managed to stop crying as the ambulance pulled into the hospital. They pulled me out and pushed me into the emergency room where doctors and nurses where waiting for us. The nurse left my side and talked quietly to a doctor in the far corner of the room. I could not make out anything they were saying but the doctor’s eyes never left my face and I felt utterly humiliated. I let my headrest back on the gurney and stared up at the white ceiling tiles. After a few moments, the doctor was by my side, adjusting his latex gloves.

“How are you feeling today Ms. Townsend?” he asked as he pulled up my eyelids to inspect my pupils.

“Like an idiot.” I replied with irritation.

“Well, there isn’t much I can do for that, but I can fix up that nasty gash on your hand.” he said with a slight smile and I relaxed a little. “You think we can take off these restraints?” he asked and I nodded my head.

“I wasn’t trying to kill myself.” I replied. He began undoing the leather belt like devices and looking over my hand.

“Well, I am inclined to believe you.” He said and nodded to the police outside of the door. They walked away from the opening and he set back to fixing my hand. “I’ve never seen someone try to kill themselves by cutting their hand.” He continued as he pulled a small piece of glass from the wound. I reflexively tried to pull my hand back from him but he held onto it tightly. “This is going to hurt a little.” He warned and I nodded, biting my lip. He cleaned the cut and by the time he was done, I had four stitches and a pink gauze bandage wrapped around my hand and up my wrist. I explained what had happened while he worked and I felt surprisingly better when the process was finished. “Life doesn’t get any easier. You have been through a lot. It’s okay to ask for help.” He said kindly and I assured him that I would talk to someone next time I was feeling sad.

“How are you feeling?” my Aunt called from the doorway. I did not know how long she had been standing there.

“I’m fine.” I answered as I slid off the bed.

“You have no idea…” she began but her words trailed off and I did not encourage her to finish.