46
Frances Grey
October 1554
With Kate settled among the maids at court and thriving, Adrian and I traveled to Beaumanor in Leicestershire. Although it had belonged to Harry and me, we had seldom stayed here, and I was pleased to find the house more attractive than I remembered. It did not have Bradgate’s mellow beauty, but it was a place where I could be at peace. “It does need some repairs, though,” I told Adrian that afternoon. “And it could be made more comfortable, also. It is rather old-fashioned. I think we can afford some work to it, don’t you?”
“I suppose.”
“If you think we cannot afford it, tell me so.”
“If you think we can, we can. You’re careful with money.”
I smiled modestly, for I always had been meticulous with our household accounts. “Harry once said that I took after my grandfather,” I said, referring to the seventh King Henry. “Mind you, I don’t think he meant it as a compliment.”
Adrian did not smile. “I was joking,” I said lightly.
“Yes, I know. There is something else we need to talk about.”
“Adrian?”
“I am considering leaving England, just as so many have.”
“Leaving? With me?” Adrian shook his head no. “But we are married!”
“Are we?”
“You know we are! We had a priest, we exchanged our vows, and you gave me a wedding ring.”
“Which is nowhere on your hand.”
“Of course not. We agreed to keep our marriage a secret.” I looked up at Adrian, puzzled. “Didn’t we?”
“Yes, of course we did.”
“Then why are you speaking of leaving? Why are you acting so peculiar?”
“Why do you think I married you?”
“Why, because I begged you to.”
“No. Because I’ve wanted you in my bed since I first laid eyes upon you.”
I drew back, shocked.
“When you and your stepmother made that very businesslike proposal to me, I did want to oblige you. Who could resist two duchesses? But I never would have agreed if I thought that I would never get to take you to bed at some point. Why, our marriage could easily be held invalid, being that we’ve never consummated it. Has that ever occurred to you?”
“Yes,” I admitted. “But —”
“I didn’t expect you to lie with me when we first married, not so soon after your husband’s and your daughter’s deaths. I’ve been patient, knowing that you needed time to grieve. But as each day goes by and we’re as businesslike as we’ve ever been, I’ve been asking myself, is this really worth it, this being not quite a servant and not quite a husband? Is it ever going to change? Would I be better off just going abroad and forgetting we ever exchanged vows?”
“Harry… Jane…”
“The Duke of Suffolk himself urged me to take care of you; you heard him. The lady Jane? She’s happy in paradise. Why would she begrudge you a little happiness on earth?”
“But—”
“Our marriage was your idea. Or was it? Was your stepmother merely putting words in your mouth?”
“She did give me the idea. But I wanted to marry you. I thought it was a good idea. I do want to be your wife—a true wife. I just—” I gestured hopelessly, feeling tears come to my eyes. “Perhaps this was a mistake, marrying you so hastily. I have only caused you pain, and I never meant to. I—I like you. Better than any man I’ve ever known.”
Adrian’s voice softened. “Did you bring your wedding ring here?” When I nodded, he asked, “Can you find it?”
I went to my chamber and retrieved the coffer where I kept my ring, wrapped inside a handkerchief. It had sat there undisturbed since our wedding day. When I returned, I held it out to Adrian.
“Did you ever look inside it?”
“No. It never occurred to me to look.”
“Well, look now.”
I obeyed. Inside the wedding band, engraved in a fine italic, were the words “A to F: Amor Vincit Omnia.”
“‘Love conquers—’”
“I know what it means. I always did like Chaucer’s Prioress.” I looked up from the engraving at which I’d been gazing. “Are you saying—?”
“I love you, Frances. I’ve loved you for a very long time. I can remember the very day I fell in love with you, as a matter of fact. It wasn’t long after I came to your household. I’d been looking for horses for your new litter, and I found two fine ones. Matched greys, I told you, and you said, ‘How appropriate.’ When I chuckled, you gave me the sweetest smile, as if you were so pleased, and so surprised, to have someone laugh at your joke. From then on, all I wanted was to have you smile like that at me again.” He shook his head. “I never even dreamed of the possibility of you marrying me. All I could ever hope for was that I’d always be able to serve you faithfully, as the lady of my heart. Then out of nowhere you asked me to be your husband, and that’s when you gave me that sweet little smile of yours again, when I accepted.”
My eyes were filling with tears again, but they were not tears of sadness. I stepped forward and raised my lips to Adrian’s. He accepted my invitation, and we kissed. It was not like our previous polite efforts. This time, we kissed as passionately as though our lips had been made for no one else’s. “Adrian?” I said when we pulled back at last.
“Yes?”
“Will you take me to bed with you?”
My husband took my hand. “I thought you’d never ask.”
***
“Tomorrow we shall start living as man and wife,” I told Adrian much later. For hours after consummating our marriage, we had lay entwined, talking not of business but of ourselves, of those we had lost and what we had gained in each other. “I am sorry I have waited this long. Will you forgive me?”
“Only if you will forgive me.”
“For what?”
“I hadn’t the slightest intention of leaving you, Frances. I could never do that. It was a lie I told you back there.”
“I am very glad you told it.” I snuggled closer to Adrian. “The whole household shall know me as your wife when I rise from this bed. But I am so comfortable, I don’t want to rise.”
“Will you tell the queen of our marriage?”
I hesitated. Even with Adrian’s arms around me, the prospect of facing my cousin was a daunting one. “I should like to wait a little longer, to find a good time.”
“Very well.” Adrian held me closer. “As long as you are truly mine now, the queen can wait.”
I leaned over Adrian and shook my hair over my shoulders and breasts so it tickled his belly. Earlier in the evening, when we had first disrobed, he had stared at my hair in awe as I let it fall to my waist, and for the first time in my life, I had felt beautiful. “What if I asked you to make love to me again tonight?”
Adrian smiled up at me and tapped my nose. “I’m not one and twenty any longer, sweetheart, but I think I can manage that.”
Her Highness, the Traitor
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