Heart of Glass

26





I race out of the cell and down the walkway, past two panicked-looking nuns in conversation. Heaving open the main door to the convent, I spill out into the street, then follow the perimeter wall to where I guess the cell’s window looks out. Wisteria clings to the wall here, sturdy enough for a slight woman to climb down. I reach the corner where I last saw her and look up and down a street thick with Venetians going about their business.

“Have you seen a girl with dark skin, about this tall?” I ask a passing man.

He sends me a lascivious smile. “I see many girls,” he jokes. “I can see you too, if you like.”

I turn my back on him, walking a few more paces. But it’s no good. The roads and alleys are labyrinthine here, and she could have taken any of them. I turn and march back into the convent. What a fool I’ve been! I lied in order to meet this girl, and now she has fled. I’ve scared her away, and when news gets back to Allegreza … I dread to think.

“Put a message out!” I say as I enter the Abbess’s rooms. “Our bird has flown.” The Abbess’s glance darts towards me from the pages of her Bible.

“I don’t take orders from you,” she says.

“This isn’t about rank,” I snap. “You are one of us. Help, or suffer the consequences. A missionary post in the Far East, perhaps? A woman of your experience would surely be able to work wonders out there.” I hate myself for the satisfaction I feel in seeing that my bluff has worked—a flicker of horror passes over the Abbess’s features.

“Of course I’ll help,” she says, lowering her voice.

My muscles relax. “Tell all the convents in Venice. If that girl turns up, I want to hear about it. Bring a message to me specifically. The convents are not to give her sanctuary. Understood?”

The Abbess bows her head. “Happy now?”

“This isn’t personal.”

“Of course it isn’t.” Her face twists in a smile full of bitterness. “It never was.”

As I leave the convent, I hear a scuffle behind me and then I feel a hand tugging at the sleeve of my dress. It’s Annalena.

“Weren’t you going to say goodbye?” she asks.

I pull her to me in an embrace. I had again forgotten my old friend. I kiss her eyes and brush a hand down a cheek. My insides twist with guilt. I have been dancing, sword-fighting, dressing in fine robes. And all the time, my lay sister has been locked inside these four walls. I should have thought about her before now.

She walks me to the main doors and kisses my hands. “It has been good to see you again,” she tells me.

“And you will see more of me,” I reassure her, though I wonder if I am deceiving us both.

Annalena smiles sadly. “We’ll see.”

It hasn’t been a happy visit, and all the sugared almonds in the world won’t make up for the wretchedness of my friend’s fate.

I head straight back to Allegreza’s apartments. I must be the first to tell her, and I can feel my heart palpitating as though it wants to jump out of my chest. I can hardly think.

So there were two girls that night on Murano. Of course Aysim wouldn’t travel alone. This stray must be her servant, or her friend. She must have answers.

At Allegreza’s house, the old servant lets me in again, and my skin prickles with anxiety.

“They’re in the parlor,” she says.

And then I’m at the doors, and my thumping heart almost stops. For it isn’t only Allegreza in the room. Others from the Segreta, at least ten, including Grazia, are ranged about. To anyone else, it would look like a gathering of well-to-do ladies taking tea. But my eyes travel among the aging faces, and see they all wear the silver rings on their middle fingers. These are the most senior of our number.

“Well?” Allegreza says. “What brings you here?”

I bite my lip. “I went to the convent.”

Women exchange startled glances. The temperature of the room seems to drop. “What?” Allegreza’s fury is not far from the surface of her face.

“Forgive me, please. I wanted to find out her secret! Roberto, his reputation—his life!—depend on it. I was just trying to do the right thing.”

Allegreza nods to her servant, who closes the doors.

“She wouldn’t speak to me at first,” I continue, “but when I mentioned Aysim she became angry and defensive. I told her about Halim’s distress and I also told her that … that I knew her.” Several of the women frown in confusion. “When I was disturbed at the meeting on Murano … it was her, I’m sure of it. I’m sorry I went against your orders, but …”

Allegreza’s lips are pale, her eyes dark and deadly. “And what did you learn, Laura?”

And so we come to it. In a halting voice, I tell her of the escape, and with each word my shame grows. The glares I receive tell the same story. None of these women would have made the same foolish mistake.

Our leader turns her back on me and addresses the other women in a trembling voice. “You’ve heard what happened. It is of primary importance that this woman be found again. I ask you all to do what you can. You have contacts, you know the city’s secrets. Talk, persuade, bribe—whatever it takes. But find out where this girl is!”

The women nod and begin to filter from the room, leaving me with Allegreza. She still has her face turned away from me.

“I specifically forbade you to go to that place,” she says, her voice cold. I don’t know what to say in response. Finally, she turns and the curl of disgust at her mouth makes the blood drain from my face. “You can go now.”

I think about speaking once more, but what can I offer but pleading and excuses? I leave, back into the harsh daylight of a city that no longer seems to be my friend.

I’ve failed Allegreza, and I’ve failed the Segreta.

But worst of all, I’ve failed Roberto.