He's After Me

Chapter THIRTY-SIX



Jem has disappeared from my life as if he’s never been there. At first he rings me twenty times a day and I tell him I never want to see him again.

I am so ashamed.

I remember when I told him Dad and Jude were going to New York. He was over the moon.

‘The answer to our prayers,’ he’d said. ‘We can be together all night long.’

And, stupid me, against my better judgement I’d allowed myself to be persuaded. I’d moved into my father’s flat with him. I’d slept with him in my father’s bed. I’d trusted him, leaving him on his own there – and this is how he’d repaid me. Helping himself to whatever he found lying about.

All I’d ever wanted from him was love. All he’d wanted from me was a free ride.

‘You used me!’ I say and he pleads with me, telling me it’s all a big mistake, but I know he’s lying. Then he turns nasty, saying horrible things about my family, especially Dad and Jude. (Since when did she become part of my family?) Most of it I’d said myself, but it sounds worse coming from him. He threatens to tell people I’ve been tagging with him all over town, but I tell him to get lost. He’s done his worst. I know he won’t do that anyway, he’s got too much to lose.

I feel betrayed. Humiliated.

Then the phone calls, the texts, the Facebook messages stop and finally everything goes quiet. At last I can forget him.

But now, perversely, I can’t get him out of my mind.

The truth is, I miss him.

Dad seems to be round a lot. He managed to coax Jude back from her parents, but I don’t think she spends more time at the apartment than she has to. He says she doesn’t feel safe there any more. She won’t even look at the CCTV footage because she says everywhere she goes she’d be looking out for him if she knew what he looked like. You’d think she’d have a bit more bottle about her, with some of the clients she’s had to deal with. Dad says that’s the point, she’s had trouble with one or two in the past.

‘What sort of trouble?’ asks Livi.

‘Clients who think she’s let them down because she didn’t get them off.’

‘What do they do?’

‘Shout a bit when they get sent down. Make a few threats. It’s happened to me countless times.’

‘Scary!’

‘No, it’s all talk. They forget all about it once they’re banged up inside. Interestingly, the one guy that really freaked Jude out was someone whose case she won. He wouldn’t leave her alone after that, made out there was something special between them.’

‘What happened?’

‘I can’t remember. It was a client from her last practice. She moved down here and he lost track of her, I guess.’

She moved down here and met you, we’re all thinking.

Mum sighs. ‘There are some strange people about, that’s for sure. Take Jem, for instance. I really liked him.’

Here we go again!

‘Yes, well, I blame myself for that,’ says Dad.

‘Why?’ I say in surprise.

‘I should’ve been there for you.’

‘You were.’ He warned me enough about Jem. I just wouldn’t listen.

‘I welcomed him into my home!’ Mum says, looking stricken. ‘He was always so pleasant, so well mannered …’

‘Most psychopaths are!’ says Dad bitterly.

‘Jem’s not a psychopath!’

‘He stole my watch, my money and Jude’s jewellery, let alone her … more personal items. Believe me, that’s the hallmark of a nutter. I should know. I come across them every day!’

‘Well, he said he didn’t!’ protests Livi. ‘Why doesn’t anyone believe him?’

‘Because he’s a flaming liar!’

I know Dad’s right. To a point. He didn’t take Jude’s ‘personal items’. Her pants and her top. That was me. But I’m too ashamed to admit it. The rest of the stuff though, he took that.

But no one can convince Livi. It’s quite sweet really, the way she stands up for him, like a fox terrier defending a pit bull. As far as she’s concerned, Jem can do no wrong. He’s the injured party and there’s a simple explanation.

‘Jem’s getting blamed for something he didn’t do!’ she maintains mutinously. ‘Someone else could’ve broken into your apartment.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ says Dad.

‘Well, maybe Jem had a mate around when Anna was at college and he helped himself.’

I sigh heavily. I’d thought of that too. But the truth was, Jem didn’t have any mates.

‘Leave it there, Livi.’

‘Why don’t you stand up for him?’ she spits. ‘You don’t care about him! Nobody does!’

‘I did care about him!’ I snap back. ‘I loved him! And look how he repaid me!’

‘The CCTV footage shows there was no one else going in and out of the apartment except for Anna and Jem,’ says Dad. ‘It had to be him.’

‘Or me!’ I say venomously and Livi shuts up at last. But I know we haven’t heard the last from her.

Dad didn’t press charges. I know why. He didn’t want to drag my name into it. With Jem out of my life, he hoped we could put the whole sorry incident behind us and move on with our lives.

But it’s not as easy as that.

I try, I really do. I throw myself into college and spend all my time catching up. I can’t believe how much I’d let things slide. Zoe’s great. She’s totally there for me now Jem’s no longer on the scene. She helps me with my work, practically escorts me to and from college, and makes sure I hang out with her and the others in the common-room every lunchtime.

In a way, it’s like Jem never existed. Secretly, I can’t believe how easily he’s given up on me. He said he loved me! I’d have thought he’d be more persistent than that. I’ve seen him when he can’t get what he wants and he never gives up. But now it’s like my dream guy turned into a nightmare, and then I woke up and discovered he never existed at all!

Except I feel empty inside, like I’ve had something surgically removed. Jem has been aborted from my life and all that is left is a huge, gaping void of sadness and regret.

I can’t sleep. Through the long, dark nights, I worry that I acted too hastily. Now I’m over the shock of what he did, I guess it wasn’t that bad, after all. Maybe we all over-reacted. I mean, what did he actually do? Borrow my father’s watch, drink his champagne (actually, I drank most of it!) and help himself to some money that was lying about, that’s all. He probably intended to put it all back, but he didn’t have time.

Let’s face it, we’d left in a bit of a hurry that morning, which was the reason the flat was in such a mess. We didn’t mean that to happen. OK, there was the matter of Jude’s jewellery, but I can’t remember seeing any lying about. Maybe she made it up? People do after a break-in, so they can claim on insurance.

And as for her clothing … well, that was me, not him, only I was too embarrassed to tell anyone. I let him take the rap for it, which did him no favours whatsoever.

Some girlfriend I turned out to be! He should’ve chosen Livi! She’s never doubted him. Unlike me.

Loyal little Livi.

Jem, you chose the wrong sister. Livi would have stood by you.