He's After Me

Chapter TWENTY-SIX



It’s my last chance.

So what? It doesn’t matter, does it? I’m going to London with Jem whether I pass my A levels or not.

In the library I sink down into a chair and put my head in my hands. It does matter. It matters a lot. Not for Mrs Hopkins’ sake, not for Zoe’s, certainly not for my father’s, not even for my mum’s.

It matters to me.

I want to be a student. I realize that now. I want to for all the obvious reasons, but also because I actually like studying. It’s what I’m good at. It’s just that since I’ve met Jem, life has become such a whirl I haven’t found time to do it.

But it’s not too late. I take a deep breath and start ploughing my way through the notes.

I keep my phone switched off and scribble away madly, trying to catch up on weeks of work. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed. Soon I am totally absorbed, not even noticing it’s lunchtime till Zoe drops in front of me a tuna and cucumber sandwich (my favourite) from the canteen. I ignore her, but eat it later on my way to afternoon lessons.

In French I keep my head down and collect extra work at the end from Madame Cassian, who’s obviously already been briefed by Mrs H. We’ve got a test tomorrow and I’m way behind with revision. In Art I refuse to rise to sarcastic observations from Mr Thomas about my attendance or the lack of it and just get down to it.

By the end of the day I’m exhausted, but satisfied. I can do this, I know I can. Zoe is waiting for me outside the Art room.

‘How did it go?’ she asks quietly.

‘Good.’

‘I’m glad!’ She grins, delighted she’s got a response. ‘I’ll help you as much as I can, you know that!’ She puts her arm through mine, but I shake it off. The thing is, I’m not mad at her any more none of the mess I’ve got myself into is her fault, but I’m not quite ready to let her off the hook yet. I stare at her, unsmiling.

‘If we’re going to stay friends, you have to get over this thing you’ve got about Jem,’ I say.

‘I haven’t got a thing about him!’ she starts to protest, but I interrupt her.

‘Yes you have. You don’t like him, Zoe, I’m not stupid. But he’s my boyfriend and I love him. It’s serious between us. So if you can’t accept that, well …’ I shrug my shoulders.

She bites her lip. Zoe knows me better than anyone. She knows that if I had to choose between them, I would choose him.

‘OK. I’ll be honest with you, Anna, I’m no fan of Jem’s. No, listen!’ she says urgently, as I turn away in a huff. ‘I am a fan of yours though, so I’ll try, for your sake. He must be all right if you like him that much. OK?’

‘Thanks.’ I give her a squeeze. ‘Once you get to know him properly, you’ll love him too, I promise.’ She doesn’t look convinced so I add, ‘Well, you’ll like him. A bit? A teeny bit?’ My voice is high and wheedling, and I’m rewarded at last with a reluctant smile and an ‘Idiot!’

‘Go on!’ I say, ‘Admit it! He’s hot.’

‘Oh yeah, he’s hot all right!’ she concedes a bit grimly, but I let it pass. It’s a start.

I slip my arm through hers and we walk out of college together, buddies again. Across the road I spot Jem waiting for me. As he walks towards me I warn Zoe, ‘Now be nice!’ and she says, ‘I will!’ and fixes a smile on her face.

But it’s Jem who’s not nice.

‘Where the hell have you been?’ he says, glowering at me.

‘College,’ I say in surprise.

He completely ignores Zoe gawping at him as he confirms her worst prejudices. ‘You said you weren’t going to be long. I’ve been waiting round for you all day.’

‘I had lectures to go to!’

‘You could’ve rung me!’

‘Sorry,’ I say, remembering that my phone was turned off. I am so aware of Zoe taking all this in as I attempt to explain. ‘I got hauled over the coals. They were on the point of chucking me out.’

‘So?’

Is he doing this deliberately? ‘Well, I had to get some work done, didn’t I?’

He scowls even more. ‘Why? I thought we’d decided you’re not going to sit your A levels anyway.’

Beside me I hear Zoe gasp.

‘We haven’t decided anything!’ I say in a flash of annoyance and our eyes lock together defiantly.

‘Look, I’d better go,’ says Zoe and she dashes off.

Jem mutters something after her. I don’t quite catch it but I can tell it’s not very nice.

‘Don’t take it out on her!’ I snap.

‘Why not?’ he snarls. ‘She’s the one who’s turned you against me. Bitch!’

We’re like two dogs circling each other, ready to go for each other’s throat. Suddenly I can’t stand it any more.

‘Stop it! Stop it, Jem!’ I yell. ‘Why do you do this? Why do you think everyone is against you all the time?’ But I know the answer to this already. He doesn’t trust people, especially women. No wonder, with a past like his. ‘Zoe hasn’t turned me against you.’

‘She wants to split us up!’

‘She doesn’t, she wants to be friends. She’s not the enemy, Jem. She’s on our side.’

He looks sceptical but says nothing. I can tell he doesn’t believe me, but at least he’s calmer. He gazes into the distance for a while, his arms folded tight across his chest, then all of a sudden he groans. ‘I’m sorry, Anna. You’re right. I just missed you so much. Last night was amazing.’

His eyes are so warm and full of regret they melt all my anger away and I put my arms around him.

‘For me too. Don’t let’s quarrel.’

I can feel his lips against my hair, his hands smoothing it down. ‘I love you,’ he murmurs. ‘Come back to your dad’s flat.’

‘I can’t. I’ve got to go home. Mum will be worried.’

‘Tell her you’re staying at Zoe’s again. For the next few days. Catching up with work.’ His voice in my ear is low and insistent. ‘It’s true, you can get it done, I won’t disturb you. And then, when you’ve finished it all, we can spend the night together.’

‘I can’t …’

At this moment there is nothing I want more.

‘Please … Zoe will cover for us. You said she wants to be friends.’ I can feel his body against mine.

‘I’ll have to go home first and tell Mum …’

‘Ring her.’

‘I need to collect some stuff …’

‘There’s stuff in the flat.’

‘I can’t, I mustn’t …’

He takes my hand in his.

‘Anna,’ he says, ‘you’re coming with me.’





He hadn’t expected this. This wasn’t part of the plan.

But that’s the way it always happened.

Love crept up on you like a thief in the night and Bang! Bang! Got you right through the heart.

But love left you confused.

And defenceless.