He's After Me

Chapter SIXTEEN



When I tell Mum I’ve changed my mind about uni and I’m going to London now to be with Jem, she’s OK with it.

‘It’s closer than Newcastle,’ she says, sounding pleased. ‘I’m glad you’re going to be with Jem, though. London’s a big place. You could be very lonely there.’

Poor Mum. If anyone knows what it’s like to be lonely, it’s her. She doesn’t go out much, except for work and her sad nights out with Karen. When she lost Dad, she lost their social life too. She’s got a wardrobe full of posh frocks upstairs she hasn’t put on since the day he left.

But when I tell her I’m thinking of studying Art instead of English, she’s surprised.

‘I thought you loved English?’ she says.

‘I do! But it’s like Jem says, I’ll read anyway, I don’t need a degree to do that. Whereas, Art … there’s more to it than just painting and drawing, you know. Jem says it’s about expressing yourself, giving yourself a voice. I want to get into it, study it properly, find out about different artists, different periods, different methods …’

‘Well, you certainly sound enthusiastic about it!’ says Mum.

‘I am. I’m serious, Mum. Jem and I have talked about it loads, and there’s a great Art department at his college.’

‘I don’t believe it!’ breathes Livi. ‘You’re going to London to be with Jem. That is so romantic!’

Mum looks at me, concerned. ‘Well, you’ve always been such a sensible girl, I’m sure you know what you’re doing. Your father’s not going to like it though.’

She’s right. My father goes ballistic.

‘Art?’ he says, like I’ve said I’m going to study party games or joined-up writing. ‘That’s not a subject.’

‘Of course it is.’

‘Not a proper subject. You don’t even have to go to university to study it.’

‘I’m not going to uni any more. I’m going to college.’

‘College?’ He looks as if he’s going to explode. ‘Over my dead body.’

‘Don’t tempt me,’ I mutter.

‘Which college is it?’

I tell him.

‘Never heard of it.’

‘It’s got a great reputation.’

‘What for? Drugs? Anarchy? The number of students who drop out?’

‘If you’re going to be childish I’m not going to talk to you. It’s a good college.’

‘Who says?’

I don’t say anything.

‘Oh, I get it.’ His mouth curls up into a particularly unattractive sneer. ‘It’s him, isn’t it? The boyfriend. He’s the one who’s pulling your strings.’

‘Nobody’s pulling my strings,’ I protest, my face aflame.

‘I can see it, Anna, even if you can’t. He’s in Oxford, you’re in London. Bit closer than Newcastle, isn’t it? He can keep an eye on you there.’

I’d forgotten Dad thought James-not-Jem was at Oxford. If he found out Jem-not-James was in London, he’d go totally ape-shit.

‘He’s got you exactly where he wants you!’ he says bitterly. I don’t deign to reply. ‘What does your mother think of this idea?’ he adds.

‘She’s fine with it.’

‘She would be. She doesn’t understand the opportunities you’re throwing away.’

I stare at him in disbelief. He knows all about opportunities all right.

Golden Boy. Scholarship to grammar school, a university degree, a career in law. Somewhere along the way he’d returned to marry the pretty girl-next-door, who’d been waiting patiently for him. She’d stayed at home and brought up the kids, he’d worked his way up to senior partner. Perfect arrangement. Till he dumped her for Golden Girl.

I’d hated him for updating my mother for a newer, streamlined model. But until this moment I’d never thought he was ashamed of the old one.

‘She doesn’t understand … How patronizing is that?’

He has the grace to look embarrassed. ‘I didn’t mean it like that.’

‘Yes you did!’ I let him see how angry I am. Because it makes him feel bad. And because it distracts him from the effect his words have had upon me.

Deep down I know I’m throwing away my dream. I don’t need anyone to point this out to me, least of all my father. But it’s too late now to do anything about it. I’m miles behind with my work and I’m never going to get the grades I need to do English at Newcastle anyway.

I want to get away. I’m not hanging around here for another year to watch my father fawning over The Bitch, my mother fading away and my sister making a fool of herself, while Zoe zooms off to uni and Jem goes back to college without me.

And Jem’s suggestion of studying Art – it’s a great idea. A gateway into a whole new world. Art is so much more than conventional painting and drawing. It’s about exposing yourself to whole new cultures.

Like graffiti for example.

Jem says, it’s not just an art form, it’s an attitude.

And now I’m with him, I’m discovering I’ve got plenty of that.





The anger was bubbling up inside him again. She belonged to him. What right did that tosser have to steal her away?

It was all his fault he was stuck here like this in this half-life. Neither here nor there. Just watching and waiting for her to get tired of the idiot and notice him again.

Well, he was getting fed up with it. There was a limit even to his patience.